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Old 06-27-2010, 04:24 PM
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Erica|Lois Survivor Game #10: The Lois Lane S9 Episode Survivor - Round 14

Lois Lane
Season 9 episode survivor.


Images courtesy of Images courtesy of HOTN-CAPS.COM, gifs made by Katie, Ray and Leanne (onebreath)

Please vote for your least fave rescue scene.


901 - Savior

Clark tells Jor-El he's ready to start his training, but Jor-El sends him back to Metropolis to cut ties with Lois before he can begin. Chloe is shocked when Lois suddenly reappears after having been missing for weeks, but Lois has no recollection of vanishing into thin air with the Legion ring. While investigating a monorail crash, Lois meets John Corben, a new reporter at The Daily Planet, with a negative attitude toward the Red-Blue Blur. Chloe begs Clark to use the Legion ring to go back in time to save Jimmy, but he refuses, driving a wedge into their friendship. Meanwhile, Oliver continues down a dark road, and Zod arrives at the Luthor mansion.


Lois Lane's Lines:

Um, Tess was rambling about some alien orb and then we threw down in the middle ofthe daily planet -- I wake up in a monorail car with some ninja chick after me.

You were the one who was playing "Thelma & Louise" with the creature from the black lagoon.

It was the red-blue blur, wasn't it? I knew it. He promised me he'd save you, and he did. That means he's still alive. The train -- he saved the train, too, didn't he?

He is the only one who could help me escape from the jaws of crouching tigers.

Look, I know what you did for Chloe. At least let me thank you. Look, I'm sorry I'm late. I promise you can trust me! I know you're out there somewhere! Where are you?

Look, on a scale of 1 to 10 of illegal things I've done in my life, this doesn't even hit the radar. Okay, that didn't exactly come out right. All I'm saying is you and your big boys in blue have bigger fish to fry than this little guppy.

It wasn't that difficult to track down the tabloid prince of metropolis.I just had to follow the paparazzi. But your little, uh, lame, sexist boy club wouldn't let me in, so I had to improvise.

Look, you may be on some death-wish fast track, but I could really use a little dose of hero about now.

I blacked out three weeks ago, turned up in a monorail car that's jumped off the tracks, and now some assassin woman is after me.

Yes, but I'm not like every other ex you've had.

look, you know what? You can't fool me. You risk your life to help strangers so you can plaster that frat-boy grin across your face. But I know that you're a real hero underneath.

You're an obnoxious jackass.

I guess you'd know yourself better than anyone, right? You know what? Maybe I don't really need you, Ollie. I've already found my real hero.

There are laws about stalking people. You should know.

Don't bet on it. And don't get comfortable in that chair. Clark's coming back.

Thank you for saving me out there. I was afraid you had disappeared for good.



902 - Metallo

After being struck by a truck, John Corben wakes up alone in an abandoned apartment as a man-machine with a Kryptonite heart. Corben realizes he now has superhuman strength and sets out to exact revenge on the Blur, who he perceives to be an irresponsible vigilante. Against Clark's wishes, Lois involves herself in the Blur's investigation, and winds up getting kidnapped by Corben.


Lois Lane's Lines:

Clark? Anyone home, sweet home? Guess not. Mrs. K wouldn't approve. Shelby! Hey. Don't tell me Clark's ditched you, too, hmm? I know. Smallville isn't the same without Smallville, is it? So, if he's still on his whirlwind walkabout, who's been feeding you, huh?

At least I have a heart. You got to lighten up, John. Spend a little less time on the dark side of the street.

These dreams are like midnight movie madness in my head. Okay. At least I can rise and shine to a better world, courtesy of The Blur.

Well, a three-week concussion can do that to you. But I think that you bonked me on head and then held me somewhere.

You mean God's gift to journalism? 5 bucks says he's out stalking The Blur.

You really do care about me, don't you?

You think of it as "our phone booth," too?

Superstitious and disgusting.

Well, it looks like the night shift finally clocked in. What happened -- try to shave in your sleep?

Hello. Lois. Banter, banter, banter. What happened? Did your snappy patter set with the sun?

Little less snap and a little more patter, please.

Look, I know you're new at the Planet, John, but I'm pretty sure H.R. frowns on this kind of thing.

I already told you -- I don't know. Since when did you become a living Lite-Brite?

Okay, take it easy there, Chippendale. I-I think I want the shirt back on.

It's you. You saved me. After all our phone calls, I finally have you standing right in front of me, and I don't know what to say to you. Please let me see your face.

Heartless bastard.

Clark Kent. You're back. I was beginning to think your family lived on some distant planet.



903 - Rabid

An airborne virus spreads through Metropolis, transforming the infected into violent zombie-like creatures. After Tess and Lois become infected, Chloe and Emil draw blood from Clark to find a cure. Meanwhile, Oliver comes to a turning point in his career as a superhero.


Lois Lane's Lines:

You can put away the pepper spray, Smallville. It's only me.

Well, looks like another thrilling Friday night -- just you and me flying the red eye on this paper airplane. Almost like you never left the cockpit.

That's what I love about you, Smallville -- I say "fire," you say "food." I'll take mine black.

Look, I respect how quickly you managed to get the lowdown on little Miss Lithium's mental break, but sometimes you can be a little gullible.

I-I'm not gonna cry wolf just to get a pity call from Studly Do-Right.

Don't you want to find out what made Cruella snap?

Clark, what happened?

Uh, I just came by to say thanks... and to apologize if I tried to rip your head off or anything.

I'll give you a hint. It starts with "H" and ends with "ero."

Well... relax, Smallville. Keep some mystery. You need to work every last drop of it you've got.



904 - Echo

After an explosive charge detonates, almost killing the hostages at a Queen Industries factory, Clark discovers that he has the ability to hear people's thoughts, mainly Lois'. He finds he's been given this ability temporarily to help him connect to people. Clark asks Lois on on "something like a date". Meanwhile, the Toyman returns and attempts to seek revenge on Oliver Queen for being framed for the death of Lex Luthor. Oliver, meanwhile, is continuing his own self-destructive patterns and may beat Toyman to the punch.


Lois Lane's Lines:

Clark! Did I miss him?

Hello, sailor

Nothing. You should get your hearing checked...hot stuff.

God, I am dragging ass today. I should go for coffee. No, actually, I should really get a B12 shot. I have to keep up with Clark. You know, you got to remember what the general always said -- on certain days, you wear certain underwear... And why today, of all days, why you decided to go with the th--
Hey Smallville.

There's always more to the story, grasshopper.

Doesn't help that stupid intern Jeff took the last stupid maple bar from the stupid doughnut box.

Okay, I love you.

That only matters if Ollie's sober enough to give a crap.

Okay, so, let me get this straight. You're saying the guy who took you hostage was short and fat but also...tall.

I haven't seen you eat a thing all day. Owed you from earlier -- low blood sugar and all.

Is Clark Kent asking me out on a date, like a date date?

I never thought I'd say this out loud, but... ...Clark Kent. I know, right? It's the weirdest thing. Of the five things to do in Kansas, Clark picked the one thing I've wanted to do for weeks. We've been on the same wavelength, like, all day today.

Me and Clark. I don't know. I mean, we certainly kick all kinds of ass at work, but lately...it feels like we're more than just partners, you know? I think I've gotten so used to carrying the load all by myself, I -- what if I don't have to anymore, you know? Clark and Lois versus the world. Oh, wow. Kind of lost myself in there somewhere, huh? Don't wait up.

Standing in the shadow of 6 1/2 feet of handsome. No, Lois! He doesn't get off that easy. Kick his ass! Do you honestly think that stacked parking, not having a cocktail dress, and being three steps behind you on your mystery-man story was gonna stand in my way? Did you? Or that you hid the fact that Oliver returned for the sake of an article? Clark, you can't get rid of me that easily. I have the Internet on my phone.

Is this an olive branch? 'Cause there better be a whole tree somewhere in here. And maybe a new pair of jeans, too. You know, it's not every day Lois Lane allows herself to be stood up.

Well, if people were to try that again... they might want to do it on a slower news day... hypothetically speaking.

My thoughts exactly.



905 - Roulette

Oliver is drugged and kidnapped by a woman named Victoria AKA Roulette, who tells Oliver that he's involved in a dangerous game and must fight for his life. After Victoria shows up dead and Oliver is arrested by the police, he turns to Chloe for help. Meanwhile, Lois berates Clark for not telling her about Oliver's suicide attempt. Lois is kidnapped.


Lois Lane Lines:

About time you got home. Shelby's great and all, but the conversation -- a little one-sided.

You know most guys wouldn't complain if I suddenly found myself shirtless.

It is called "Smallville" for a reason, Clark. What else do you possibly have to do tonight? It'll be fun.

Are you like this at the movie theater, too, clark? I mean, these concession runs are really sweet, but you're up and down more often than the cubs' batting lineup.

There was this thing about a boat. And then just lots of dum-dum-dum-dum, dah-dum da-da da-da-da-da dum.

I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? [ Exhales deeply ] I'm totally not fine...even if it is stupid. But -- but it's not stupid. It's Oliver's birthday today, and we always go out for beer pong on our birthdays. But today is about to be yesterday in T minus negative minutes. It's over. He totally missed it. How does a guy with nine phone numbers not return a phone call?

Wow. Tall, dark, and single. Go figure.

Pants on, birthday boy. Party train's arrived.

When you say "close," are you talking feet or zip codes? Mister whatever-your-name-is, you're a gps tracking service. You can probably see me on your satellite, so how much farther down pepper spray lane do I have to go? Never mind. I found it.

Tempted. But if you're unconscious, you can't answer any questions like, who the hell was that dragon lady?

So, what am I, the bunny? Oliver, you really need to take a dip in the sane-chick pool. I mean, that dress -- that was a bigger red scare than cold war Russia.

Some things haven't changed. Ollie, I will always be here for you. And if you forget that again, I will knock you out.



906 - Crossfire


Oliver tries to help a young street girl, Mia AKA Speedy, get out of her dangerous life by offering to train her, but Mia double crosses him. Lois asks Clark to help her land a job as an on-air television host, but the two are shocked when the station wants to hire them as a team.


Lois Lane's Lines:

Well excuse me Mr-I'm-slow-and-steady-and-know-what's-best-for-everyone, this happens to be important to me. With newspapers on the endangered-species list, news television is my one and only backup plan.

Oh, you could be a little more passionate with this whole thing, but not you -- not mild-mannered Clark Kent. Do you even care if I get this job?

Well, you should have thought about that before you stood me up the first time.

Well, let's just say I won't forget about you when I go national.

I guarantee that's the only 10 you're getting out of it.

Well, I do like a six-pack.

Thanks, Clark. But I already filled out my name. Good luck on your date. I'm sure you'll sweep her off her feet.

Wow, Smallville, talk about green. It's like your first day atThe Daily Planet all over again.

There really is only one rule when it comes to dating, clark -- show up. Like after you ask someone to a monster-truck rally, it's a good idea to show up to the date.

Well, I'll give you this. You definitely were honest. But admitting that you grew up on a farm is either going to get you a date with a country mouse or a cougar looking for her next meal.

If you can't take the heat, sister, get out of the café.

Is she for real? Congratulations, Clark. You're dating mother teresa in 6-inch heels.

Well, you might want to save the space on your dvr, because here's the kicker. He did great.

You know, anything about me that annoyed you while we were together. I bought a killer dress. I reserved the entire ace of clubs. But if I don't identify my deal-breakers, they're gonna cancel this date before it even gets to air.

Nice towel, honey. Where will she put the money?

Don't worry, Ollie. I'm not here to judge. I just kind of hoped you'd spend more than one week clean before you got back in the gutter. Uh -- sorry I interrupted ..sparring.

Thanks, Clark. You sound like my mother on prom night. How do I look?

Do I detect a note of jealousy from the notoriously nice Clark Kent? Careful my date doesn't hear you. He might just have to take you down.

You know what they say -- all's fair in love and war.

Clark, it sounds like you're asking me out on another date.

No, no -- Um, only the finer things in life for Lois Lane.

Oliver, it's bad enough that I catch you dragging yourself through the mud again, but now you're bound and determined to ruin my date.

Couldn't this heart-to-heart have waited until the cameras were off?

I love you Oliver, as a dear friend. Which is why I have to be totally honest with you.

I said I was your friend, and I meant it. I am not going to let you wander down any more dark alleys.

Tell me you didn't pick Prince Charming here over Oliver.

Did you hear? The brilliant brass over at kzxp have decided to go with someone else for their morning show.

After everything that happened, after ollie and i almost got killed, guess who they've decided to go with.Apparently blondes test better with morning viewers.

I'm sorry. I never should have tried out in the first place or dragged you there with me, and I just -----



908 - Idol


Lois attempts to resolve her feelings about Clark with the aid of a psychologist. Meanwhile, superpowered twins Zan and Jayna come to Metropolis to help their idol, the Blur, but botch their efforts and Clark takes the blame.


Lois Lane's Lines:

Easy, Armstrong. This space case is buried in research. I've got like two weeks' worth of work to catch up on.

Believe it or not, my eject-seat malfunction... wasn't totally about you.

When I want to talk about it, I'll send up a smoke signal.

Did I ever tell you that before Christmas, I used to unwrap all my presents and then re-wrap them while my parents were still sleeping?

I don't think it's powdered sugar, Smallville. Lois Lane, Daily Planet. Care to comment on at illegal activities you've been up to that got you trussed up like a turkey?

Now, that's what I call a scoop.

First, The Blur doesn't call for weeks, and now he's overnighting our boys in blue? Of course, he's probably tailspinning into the stratosphere because he doesn't have his go-to girl to keep him grounded.

When is the D.A. not out for blood? He's just trying to cover up his dirty connections. Listen, I am not your Blur girl on this one.

Well, that would require a certain supersomeone to actually find five minutes to give me a call.

All my flannel's at the dry cleaner's. Go figure.

Ah. Leave it alone, Inspector Gadget. I have a top-secret interview I'm doing for an exposé on the hush-hush. So don't follow me.

Okay, well, they're as real as you and me right now. More real, actually. And despite some flashes of some serious NC-17 violence, really, the situation involves clothes... coming off -- you know, naked. Skin, skin on skin, just -- [ Clears throat ] Lots of skin.

What is this, "Nightline"? All right, yes, I'm doing the virtual "Kama Sutra" with Clark Kent. My desk is soft-core central.

Speak of the devil. The Halley's Comet of phone dating himself. [ Chuckles ] Sayonara, superstud.

Remember 8-Tracks and rotary phones? That's him -- ancient history. And the fact that you haven't gotten that news flash means I'm probably wasting my time with all this head-shrink mumbo-jumbo stuff.

Two hours to get here with the monorail down. Chalk another one up to the Blundering Blur. He may have stopped a diamond heist, but his blackout belly flop has crippled Metropolis. And the scavengers have already started circling. District attorney Ray Sacks, my pet research project.

Since his Christmas-card roster reads like a Soprano's hit list. I call him "Sacks-ophone" 'cause he loves to blow his own horn!

I think it's pretty obvious. Either The Blur is hitting a quarterlife crisis, or his ego has gotten really supersized.

Oh, man! I don't know how old-school journalists broke a story without breaking somebody's neck. I will never take you for granted again, I swear.

Oh, you want to go there? Let me tell you about second chances, buddy. There's a way you treat a woman. It's called respect.

So just because you're some fancy hero...

There is no try, Skywalker. You have superpowers. Why don't you pick up a phone?

Smallville!

Yeah. Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about my carbon footprint lately, and I figured, you know, we could start carpooling. I thought, you know, the ride would give us a chance to get past the whole kiss-and-run of it all, and...get to know each other better.

I'm going to save you a lot of time and money, okay? It's all your parents' fault.

Oh, she had to take off. Family issues. Look, I know you think you're pretty good at this head-shrinking stuff. But thanks to you, my head is about to explode, and I don't know what to do. I focused on the man in my dreams, and now I found out that my mystery caller and Clark are the same person.

Unbelievable. Up until today, he couldn't lie his way out of a speeding ticket. And -- and now he can hold down an alter ego?

Okay, they're not that different. My mystery caller is brave and selfless, and so is Clark... in his own way. I can't believe how difficult this must have been for him to carry his secret all the time. I just want to tell him that it doesn't matter to me. But... maybe coming clean isn't the best idea, either. Right now, Clark has this really big decision to make. And more than anything, I just want to help, but I'm not sure how. Wait. I know what I have to do. Thanks, doc. You're a gem. There's got to be something to this therapy stuff.

Zip it, counselor. I'm Lois Lane from the Daily Planet, and I'm here to tell you that I know The Blur. The D.A. says that a true hero would come forward. Well, The Blur can't. It's because he knows that the best way for him to protect you and me is to steer clear of all this political hoopla and remain the one thing that you and I need most -- a light in the darkness, a symbol for us to believe in when all other hope is lost. I've looked into The Blur's heart, and I can tell you that his intentions are good. Let The Blur be the hero he needs to be.

You talk a good game, counselor. But you don't believe a word of it. All your shady back-room deals with organized crime have just come home to roost. I've picked out a nice little font for my exposé. "Shady Sacks Sucks the City Dry."

You can't reveal yourself to the cameras. You mean too much to the city... to the world. Clark... I know that you've been living two lives and having to lie to me about it every day.

I've always known, deep down, that you were a hero.

But just looking at the facts -- what's easier to believe? That there was some phone glitch, or that the farm guy who sits across from me every day is a superpowered hero?

But it would be so much easier if they were the same person. When I heard The Blur's voice again, something stirred inside of me. But my thoughts... I keep going back to Clark. That scared guy who stepped down onto that ledge to save me.

This isn't what I had in mind when you said you wanted to meet in the copy room, but, hey, I'm open.

It's okay. It's my hero complex to resolve. I take the nicest guy that I know, and I weigh him down with all this shining armor. And it's not fair. Nobody can be two different people.

Personally... I don't mind the bump in your geek factor. But, professionally, there are these newfangled things you can try. They're called contacts.

Don't worry, Smallville. I'll only call you four-eyes every once in a while. [ Sighs ] But just so you're clear on one thing.
__________________
"You don't make it easy to ask a simple question, but that's what makes you, you.
The woman I want to spend my life with. The woman that I l o v e . Lois Lane, will you marry me"?
" Y e s ".

Last edited by Chase.This.Light; 07-13-2010 at 04:11 AM
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Old 06-27-2010, 04:27 PM
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909 - Pandora


Tess kidnaps Lois to find out where Lois went after she disappeared for weeks. Lois' memory of the future depicts a Metropolis under Zod's rule and Clark powerless under the red sun, while Chloe forms a resistance group with Oliver. After learning of these future events, Clark makes an important decision about Zod.


Lois Lane's Lines:

Tess, where are you? Don't start what you can't finish.

Maybe because I dropped out of girl scouts years ago.

But this dream is all mine, so what's with the attitude?

I'm a reporter. Asking questions is in my blood.

I was just hoping for some food here. And I'm pretty sure this is a bad dream, but right now, I could eat about 30 maple doughnuts.

This dream just got 10 times brighter.

Clark, if this isn't a dream, then it's the worst nightmare I could ever imagine. Since when did the Kent family farm become a prison? And why would you give away the one thing of your dad's that meant so much to you?

Explain about the wicked witch and the flying freaks. Have we been invaded by "The Wizard of Oz"?

My dad's a general, too. [...] And he still couldn't get me to spill how I got an M1 Abrams tank to take me to prom. So I'm definitely not telling you anything.

You redheaded rat!

The only thing I'm resisting is the urge to kick both your asses. And if Clark were here right now, he would back me up.

You betrayed the entire human race for some crappy dog tags. Way to go!

I'm pretty sure I didn't walk a whole year into the future -- not in these heels. The thing is, I lost the ring. That one-named wonder, Zod, took it.

Okay, then, look. Why Clark decided to take on our enemy E.T.s by himself is beyond me, and maybe you think he abandoned the cause or something. But come on -- aren't we all in this together?

I just have one more question. How does turning the sun yellow make Clark our number-one draft pick for taking on this Zod guy?

Define "okay." So far today, I've traveled through time, fought a flying alien, and almost got my head chopped off.

I'm here now.

Okay, Chloe, remember when we were 10 and I kicked you out of my clubhouse for spilling soda and you said you'd just build a cooler one? You win.

I'm eating a maple doughnut. And you're...kind of invading my personal space.

Whoa, cowboy! You just went from 10 to, like, 110 in 2 seconds flat. Let's just slow it down. You know, I-I still need to get my feet back under me.

Really? In that case... let's go get a real cup of coffee. And then we'll have lunch -- the first of many. There will be ice cream and chalupas, picnics in the park, dancing in the rain. And you will take me to a monster-truck rally.



910 - Disciple


Oliver's past comes back to haunt him in the form of The Dark Archer, Oliver's former teacher, who seeks revenge on his student by taking aim at Lois and Chloe. Oliver faces down The Dark Archer after his former mentor kidnaps Mia AKA "Speedy" but is pushed to his limit and Clark races to stop him from making another deadly mistake.


Lois Lane's Lines:

Well it is a lot to get your head around. Clark Kent and Lois Lane. Who knew?

(chuckles) Smallville, the only planet you know about is the one you read at the breakfast table. (Clark kisses her.) Okay then, that was PDA #4 on date #5. I’m just keeping track. Trying not to rush into this relationship like I’ve done before.

I know. It’s just...this is the one. You’re the one I want to get it right with okay. So...night.

Don’t worry the galaxy will be there next week.

It’s not your fault that I had a bad alternator, Smallville. Look some psycho obviously wanted to get himself on the front page, so he decided to shoot the ace reporter.

Not that I’m against taking flowers from men I’ve never met, because Lord knows I have, but I think you have the wrong room.

Can't say that he has. And being a championship-wrestling fan, I'd definitely remember a name like that.

Well, someone planted an arrow pretty damn close to my heart and I don't think it's Cupid.

What about all the other girls you were with? Why couldn’t they have shot the Danish underwear model?!

Clark! Sorry I’m late. I was watching the monster truck jam finals. Grave Maker lost his drive train! He is never coming back.

Oh, Clark, come on. That's like saying Tommy Lee's just a drummer. Sometimes I worry there is no poetry in you.

What I wouldn’t give for a little x-ray vision. It might give me some insight as to why I had to take a cab back from the hospital.

Why? Are you afraid he’s going to slip that you tipped a cow once? Clark, there aren’t any secrets in your life worthy of the front page. It’s okay.



911/12 - Absolute Justice


A man named Sylvester Pemberton tracks down Chloe and tells her he knows about her team of superheroes and needs their help. However, before he can explain who he is, he is attacked and killed by Icicle. Clark and Chloe's investigation leads Clark to the former headquarters of the Justice Society of America where he meets up with Nelson AKA Dr. Fate, Carter Hall AKA Hawkman and Courtney AKA Star Girl. Courtney pleads with Hawkman and Dr. Fate to help her catch the killer that is targeting their group but they are reluctant to resume their duties as superheroes. Clark, John Jones, Green Arrow and Chloe team up to help the JSA stop Icicle before he murders another member of the group. Meanwhile, Lois receives a package from a mysterious agency called Checkmate, run by Amanda Waller.


Lois Lane's Lines:

"I'm sorry I was late for breakfast, Smallville, but you would not believe the morning I just had. On my way to interviewing Nobel Prize-winning tech guru, Michael Holt, my taxi ran out of gas. So I got out, like a good soldier, and I pushed. Then a bus ran through a mud puddle. Not that I don't mind a good mud bath, but I prefer mine without clothes. I was interviewing the cleanup crew about how to get the stains out of this jacket. Clark? "

"What could possibly be more important than a morning date with the great Lois Lane?"

"Tess Mercer , what brings the big boss all the way downtown to the little newspaper that could? "

"Careful, Lois. This is the part where the doomed girl runs into the guy with the hockey mask. "

"I wonder if he does horoscopes."

"You know, the byline could have read, 'Lois Lane and Clark Kent.' "

"It's not every day that you get an exclusive with a helmet head that can tell you your fate. "

(When asked if she believes in fate) "Only the kind you make happen. "



913 - Warrior


Clark meets Zatanna at a comic book convention, where she tells him her father charmed a copy of the comic book "Warrior Angel" and it holds magical powers. A young man named Stephen steals the comic book and develops super powers, transforming himself into Warrior Angel and saving Chloe from a horrible accident. Meanwhile, Lois becomes jealous of Clark's relationship with Zatanna.


Lois Lane's Lines:

"I can't get anything out of these people. They keep looking at me like I'm from another planet."

"Promise me you're gonna kick the 'Crackberry' to the curb."

"Stop gawking and prosper."

"...You smelt like a magazine insert!"

"I just have to get used to the reality that I'm not the only gal that thinks you're fantastic."



914 - Persuasion


It's Valentine's Day and while Clark and Lois work on a story, he unknowingly becomes infected by gemstone kryptonite, which has magical wish-fulfilling properties. Clark mentions to Lois that he wishes they had a more traditional relationship,so Lois quits the Daily Planet, moves in with Clark and starts planning their wedding. Still unaware of his new power, Clark also casually tells Chloe he wishes she would spend more time watching out for him, so an infected Chloe takes his wish to heart and sets her sights on a new target - Lois.


Lois Lane's Lines:

Sorry about the heels. I need the inches.

Look, either RAO INC. is throwing a Valentine’s Day party for their workers behind this wall or they’re running double shifts on a Saturday night, a total union violation.

Bingo. They are moving more tech equipment into that building than NASA, and if they’re skulking around in the middle of the night, they are definitely hiding something.

Nice teddy, next time buy her a silk one. She’s not six years old.

Clark, Valentine’s Day is just a smarmy Hallmark holiday engineered by corporate executives to convince people to spend hard earned money on dead flowers and over-priced meals...but not you two.

Whoa, easy with the pixie dust there, Tinker Bell.

It’s never too early for nachos and it’s never too late for hard-hitting journalism.

Hold hands? You can come a-courting on your horse and buggy. All we need is a chaperone. Sounds mighty traditional.

Here’s the scoop buddy. A traditional woman does not spend her time in the office when she can be at home taking care of her man. I quit!

Move over Betty Crocker, I have got this cooking thing down! How’s your pot roast?

Well I am just so proud of you for bringing home the bacon, the least I can do is cook it up in a pan. And, well, never let you forget that you’re the man.

Yeah, now instead of being chained to my desk all day, I get to be your ball and chain.

Yep, you’re absolutely right. What kind of adjective is ‘poorer’? Somebody’s going to need an editor...for their vows.

All right, Mr. Cold Feet, I’ll keep the home fires burning. Rain check on talking about the big event for now. You’d better make an honest woman out of me, Clark Kent.

Drum roll please. Chez Kent has a new resident. I moved in.

I’m sorry that you’re having a hard time with this Chloe, but this love train has left the station.

Kind of pathetic, right? I mean, why even bother going through the motions, Clark? This whole moving in thing together was a joke!

No, she hit the target dead on. She said I was going to wreck us and she’s right. Clark, I don’t know the first thing about family time or dinners at home, I don’t.

Clark, I’m a big girl, I can pull myself up by my own bootstraps, thank you very much. I just had hoped I’d somehow be able to pull it off, the whole making a home thing.

No. A home is for real, for always and forever. Not this. Goodbye, Smallville.

I guess we can move my stuff out of the guestroom now.

Oh, Mrs. K, can I really? Thank you so much! But actually, I’m wearing it right now! I found it in the back of your closet. I know. Clark will just love it. Thanks, Mom.

Okay I have breaking news, Sis! Brace yourself! I am getting married!

C’mon, Dad! Can’t we just hitch a carrier to Greece? I’m only getting married once!

Oh you know what, I just need to make a few phone calls here. Donna Reed on crack. I just, I’m never going to buy chocolate from another fairy. I promise you I wasn’t myself, I don’t know what she put in that stuff.

You really are an old fashioned romantic, aren’t you? I guess it’s easier to complain about Valentine’s Day than it is to give it a shot, so in the face of the candy-coated manipulation of V-Day, maybe I just need to trust that what we have is something more.

Right, when you asked me to move in with you here, I know it seemed like a good idea at the time...and about the whole proposal, it was a dream come true level of ‘wow’, but, um, things are moving a little too fast for me.

God knows I spilled my guts. Clark, if you had a really big secret, would you trust me with it?

I know it sounds crazy, but I’m just afraid that my big mouth is going to wreck our relationship one day.



915 - Conspiracy


Bernard Chisholm, a doctor who died and was brought back to life by the Kandorians so they can experiment on him, escapes and kidnaps some Kandorians in order to prove aliens have invaded Earth. Bernard tries to get Lois to write a story validating his claim, but when Lois refuses, he kidnaps her too. In an effort to save his people, Zod poses as a reporter from the Daily Planet and uncovers Bernard's secret lab. Clark arrives at the lab just in time to see Zod get shot.


Lois Lane's Lines:

"You know, since we started seeing each other, we never really see each other. Maybe we should stop and smell the roses."

"Who's the femme fatale?"

"No problem, Smallville, go win a Pulitzer."

"Buddy, you just went from creepy critter to full-blown nut job"

"You should be thanking her, not turning her into a popsicle."

"It's what Clark would do."

"Touché, Mr. Kent. Why don't we both just agree that a little mystery is good for the romance."



916 - Escape


Clark and Lois head out of town for a quiet romantic getaway, but their plans are thwarted when they run into Chloe and Oliver at their Bed & Breakfast Inn. The couples' awkward moment is interrupted by the arrival of the Silver Banshee, who sets her sights on Clark and Oliver. Meanwhile, Tess faces off with Zod with a surprising result.


Lois Lane's Lines:

Well since you insisted on being a man of mystery, I had to cover all my bases. There’s snow angel, surfer girl, city chic...

Okay, well, um let’s uh hope that Mr. and Mrs. Green didn’t quite finish unpacking, because the only inn that they’re going to be staying at is called ‘Holiday’.

Well for a country that pride itself on men wearing skirts, you’d think they’d be a little more progressive than that.

Murder, misogyny and mayhem, I can see why you left that out of the brochure.

How about we just take Mr. and Mrs. PDA’s room? Because you know they obviously don’t need it. Heh, just kidding. I’ll go check on Clark. He’s used to baling hay, but I’m sure he’s just baling buckets to stay afloat.

Clark, I don’t care how bad it is. I survived a tent in Guadalajara, I can handle a soggy room.

Twist.

How can you be so ‘eh’ about this? This is Chloe and Oliver together here. Did you know they were dating? No, of course you didn’t. I mean, I didn’t even know they were dating. We should sit with them.

Look, I know that I ran a verbal marathon last night and then I fell asleep, but I promise, tonight is about the two of us.

And we had no idea there was even a you two, which I think is perfect. I think fate has brought us together.

Yeah, speaking of clues, let’s talk about Mr. Green in the bedroom with my cousin.

Good point. Look, Chloe, there’s food!

This is a relationship, Chloe, not a spelling bee!

Just give me ten minutes and you’ll get a surprise.

You do that. Try to explain it over breakfast maybe next century. This I won’t be needing.

I was possessed by a 300-year-old Scottish banshee, and I almost killed you, Clark.

All thanks to my stellar sense of direction. Let’s face it Clark, without me you’d still be lost.

It’s, it’s my cell phone. Just, just let it go to voicemail.
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Old 06-27-2010, 04:28 PM
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918 - Upgrade

Zod continues to pose as "The Blur" and asks Lois to investigate one of Tess' secret labs. An explosion rocks the lab, and Lois is rescued by John Corben who was a subject of multiple experiments. While investigating the explosion, Clark is exposed to red kryptonite. An infected Clark takes Zod to the Fortress. Tess turns to Chloe for help and they send in Corben to stop Clark from revealing all his secrets.


Lois Lane's Lines:

Okay my blurry butt kicking friend, you were right. Tess of the uber villains is up to no good. She’s holding more meteor rock here than there probably is in all of Smallville. Something tells me the reason is behind that curtain.

Tell that to the bean counters in HR. They didn’t want to chip in to buy extra letters to spell ‘Henrietta’.

How’d you get in here? How did I get in here?

I was chasing down a red hot lead and then hit a dead end.

You know I was just, I was trying too hard to open up my The Hangover DVD, you know with Dad’s Swiss army knife. He was sure I wouldn’t put it to good use. Wanna kiss it better, soldier?

I’m sorry, Smallville, it’s Randall. It could be the story of the century. I can’t risk a potential coulda woulda shoulda.

Yeah she’s running a secret underground facility at 4th and Lincoln where she’s testing some form of meteor rocks, but score one for the obvious column. I think you already knew that since you saved me from an early obituary, right?

Said the man who swatted me around like a tetherball on our last arena challenge.

You did kind of go phantom of the boiler room the last time you entered stage right.

When you’re free and clear and planting your homestead spike in the badlands then I’ll send you the sayonara.

Tess, how not surprised am I to see you here. By the way, this is the least-secret secret lab I’ve ever been in...twice.

I saw what you did to Corben. I was on the bus when you sent me on a train trip to Mount Rushmore. You can’t cover this up, Tess!

God, do you take lessons in how to do that?!

Wow, that’s a scary high pedestal of adjectives you just put me on.

Oh...me? John, that means a lot, but I’m with someone else. He’s a little on the squeaky side, so I probably won’t pull back the curtain and reveal our wild and crazy ride, but he is it for me.



919 - Charade


Lois investigates the early prison release of ex-District Attorney Raymond Sacks but he threatens her with a gun when confronted. The Blur saves her, but is captured on film by a delivery guy who plans to sell the photo to Sacks. Lois and Clark each attempt to thwart the delivery of the photo and run into Maxwell Lord, a wealthy tycoon and Checkmate operative, who is trying to learn The Blur's identity to eliminate him. Meanwhile, Chloe discovers Zod's secret.


Lois Lane's Lines:

"How do you get yourself into these things, Lane?"

"Clark and I don't spat. There was no spatting."

"I kinda noticed that Clark has this thing for telescopes..."

"Tonight's the night. In the words of the general, it's time to drop the 'L-bomb.'"

"Sometimes, I swear you have more than two hands."

"Either that kiss altered my sense of time and space or this place is busier than usual."

"Can't wait for tonight."

"Hey, it's me, Lois. Guess you're out. Strange to think that I can leave a message for the Blur -I mean, well not strange weird, it's just - you know what I mean, it's hard to picture the Blur screening his calls. Not that you'd be screening my calls or anything but [BEEP]... Me again, got cut off. You know, that's not a lot of time for someone to leave a message. I mean, that beep comes at you pretty fast. Then again, you are the Blur, of course I'm sure you like it fast, but I just - here's the deal. I'm on a story about our deadly ex-D.A. Now, normally I'd be working with my partner in reporting, but I want to keep him safe, secure, and as far away from Sacks and his murderous mob as I can. Clark's not bulletproof, but you are. Be my wingman?"

"Mr. Sacks, Lois Lane from the Daily Planet. You may remember me from the roof of the Daily Planet."

"You have no idea what it means that you trusted me enough to let me help you these past weeks. I have never felt such a sense of purpose in my entire life. Whatever you need, you can count on me."

"No, Clark, I am sure he is dying to tell me. But how can anyone who cares about me put me in that kind of position? If I knew his true identity, then every low-life with high hopes of hurting him would come after me. And he would never put me in that kind of danger just to get a secret off his back! That's why I trust him."

"Piece of cake."

"Oops. Sorry about your million dollars."

"You're here. I-I can't know who you are. I'd give anything to see your face... to know your name. But you can't protect us if we know who you are. I understand that now."

"But I do need you! And maybe I didn't realize it until it was too late, but this is the most important part of my life."

"When I'm with you, it's about more than what I want, who I want. It is something that is bigger than me."

"I've been talking to the Blur, Clark - doing things for him, sharing things with him, that I couldn't share with you."

"It's not like this, with you. I wish you could understand what it felt like to have this - a calling. A duty, to people and the world..."



921 - Hostage


Much to Clark's surprise, Martha Kent returns to Smallville with her new boyfriend, Perry White in tow. Lois and Perry realize they are both working on the same story about the Red Queen, and decide to team up, which ultimately puts them in serious danger. Chloe helps Clark search for the Book of Rao, which they believe contains information on how to stop Zod and his army.


Lois Lane's Lines:

If you can’t recognize my butt in a pair of jeans then what are you thinking about?

Well excuse me for getting between a man and his tractor, but our unemployment situation has just gone to defcon one.

My phone just got turned off, because the Planet stopped paying my cell bill, and half my wardrobe is being held hostage at the dry cleaners’. To top it off, it’s as if you’re expecting me to single-handedly save our unemployed derrieres, which lucky for you I have. I have found a story that will get us corner offices at the Planet with parking on P1 we just have to start now.

Hey, I have been pounding back double double expressos, just trying to keep us on some kind of a masthead and you’ve been doing what exactly?

Well here’s something that I can’t ignore. I need a purpose, some kind of bigger mission in life. You don’t seem to need that.

Oh my god, you’ve gotta forward this to my high school journalism teacher. Check it out, Mrs. Kreitzman, me and Perry White. Who’s sorry now beyotch?!

Too bad, Ahab, because I have something pretty big on the line too. It’s going to cause quite a splash.

This puppy sells itself. It is going to kick your story back to arts and leisure.

When I started investigating this shady redhead, I hit the mother lode. There are aliens here on our planet...and they are looking for this. The Book of Rao.

You gotta give some to get some.

I gotta hand it to you Mrs. K, running senate committees by day, cooking rocking meals by night. You put the ‘m’ in modern woman. Me, I put the ‘t’ in takeout.

Oh you know, everything’s peachy. You know us chocolate and peanut butter, yin and yang, Tarzan and Jane. Okay maybe not the pulling hair jungle love of it all.

That is exactly how I felt when I was talking to...this friend. We used to work together and when I helped him, it was like I had a higher purpose. Like I was saving the world.

It’s kind of like being in a chain gang with your ball and chain.

Mrs. K, I can’t keep lying to you. Clark and I aren’t working together at the Daily Planet, we were fired, and we aren’t taking it slow, we’re actually taking a break. The truth is, Clark, I need to find a way to make a difference with my life, and I realize now that I can’t look to you...or even the Blur to make that happen for me. I need to do it on my own. So maybe what we need right now isn’t a break...it’s a break-up.

My party’s are never that good.

We are officially a threat.

I know this phone is a direct line to Checkmate, so here’s my order: Red Queen, nothing on the side, just her... Oh right, Taco Dan’s? Is that the best you can come up with? I thought all you spy guys went to Yale... Oh no, Austin Powers, I have your number. I know that you work for a covert organization dedicated to defending the planet from an alien invasion, that your boss was Amanda Waller, and that that little chateau of yours in the Rocky Mountains was blown to bits, probably by aliens after the Book of Rao, which is why you’d better stop with this guac and chips act and get us some facetime with the Red Queen right now.

Maybe that really was a Mexican restaurant.

Looks like we’ve got an audience with the queen.

I think I could get used to this.

Oh my god, Perry. You’ve raised the dead! You have single handily brought my flat lined career back to life.

Normally, I would jump at the chance to run away from my problems, but after one day in the trenches with Perry White, I realized that I don’t have to go anywhere to find my higher calling. I just- I needed to find the hero inside of myself.


921 - Salvation

Zod unleashes his army upon the world, forcing Chloe to call in reinforcements from old friends. Zod tells Lois he is The Blur and asks her to steal the Book of Rao from Clark. Torn between Clark and The Blur, Lois asks Clark to come clean with her about everything but he refuses. Chloe and Oliver attempt to reconnect Watchtower's satellite system in order to fight the Kandorians but to Chloe's horror, Oliver gets caught on site and disappears. Tess attempts to stop Zod but he leaves her clinging to life. Clark and Zod battle for control of Earth.


Lois Lane's Lines:

(in 2013) "If you remember, I'm the one who said 2012 would be just another y2k scare, and I was right. Not to fear, White - if there's a scandal in the Pentagon, yours truly will be the one to find it."

(in 2013) "Clark would forget his head if it wasn't attached with a necktie. "

(in 2013) "Luthor is making a play for the Oval Office and White has me playing dodge ball with armchair quarterbacks at the Pentagon?! I can't believe it!"

(in 2013) "Olsen! Olsen! You had better be getting every pixel of this."

"I thought you said we'd never talk again. I'm glad you broke radio silence, but why now? (Zod steps out of the shadows) How can you be the Blur? That alien snatcher, Chisholm, shot you. I saw the wound."

"Look, I will admit that Clark's played the jealousy card once or twice, but you're wrong about him."

"For you. I would stay for you. Clark, as important as my career is to me...(sighs ) you are more important. I would give up Africa to be with you."

"It's not broken. (Voice starts to break) It's shattered."

"I hid it where I confessed to you that you were the most important person in my life."

"Can you ever forgive me for thinking he was you? Please say something. Anything."

(after being kissed by the Blur in an exhale of realization) "Clark!"

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Old 06-27-2010, 04:30 PM
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Big thanks to Rach and Katie for helping me out with Lois' lines!

Warrior - 1
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The woman I want to spend my life with. The woman that I l o v e . Lois Lane, will you marry me"?
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Old 06-27-2010, 05:01 PM
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Amazing job guys!! wow!


I have to with Absolute Justice - 1

it's the one i enjoyed less of all, i think it was b/c of all the new charcters at once and that idk why but i got a bit bored with it, and also that i don't think Warrior was that bad... (don't throw stuff at me ) I think that we got to see more about Lois' character with Warrior than AJ (i'm actually scared to post this, but oh well...)
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Future Clois: Clark: "She's a handful isn't she." - Lois: "You drive me crazy."

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Old 06-27-2010, 05:20 PM
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Good job everyone!

^Heh. Isa, I didn't hate Warrior as badly as everyone else did either.

Hmmm, this is a tough call. I guess I'll go with AJ because I thought it wasn't that good. Plus, I hated Clark being sidelined so Johns' precious JSA could shine out of their arses.

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Old 06-27-2010, 09:19 PM
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Wow this is awesome! Those are a heck of a lot of quotes Karen. I have to agree with you about Warrior, Karen. Remember guys this is a Lois Lane survivor not a general SV survivor or a Clark or Clois survivor, and IMO Absolute Justice was a better episode for her than Warrior since we actually got to see Lois investigating solo and see Waller handpick her for a story which set up her Checkmate arc in the second half of the season. Warrior, on the other hand, was a Chloe centric ep and sad as it is for me to say this, I could have seen the ep functiong without Lois/Clois...actually it might even have worked better without them in it b/c then they wouldn't have made Lois and Clark spout that ridiculous crap that got me so incensed. So yeah, Warrior gets my vote.

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Old 06-27-2010, 09:21 PM
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Absolute Justice-2
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Hated all the character portrays in Warrior except for Oliver, so that's saying a lot
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Old 06-27-2010, 09:23 PM
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^Wow that really is!
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Old 06-27-2010, 09:24 PM
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^Oh yeah. Sorry. I can see what you mean about AJ being good because Lois getting handpicked, etc, but I still like Warrior better. I know you don't agree with me, but I just do.
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Old 06-27-2010, 09:27 PM
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That's fine, as long as you're basing your decision on Lois.
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Old 06-27-2010, 09:31 PM
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I thought Lois was awesome in AJ so I hope that episode doesn't go this round, there are a couple episode I dislike her more in that AJ. I hate Warrior with a Passion heck I think I might even hate it more than AOS, that's how much I hate it and i thought Lois in it was letting Clark off the hook way too easily. Most of her scenes bored me to me honest. I thought the whole episode was off for Lois as well as Clark, Chloe and Zatanna.
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Old 06-27-2010, 09:34 PM
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Zatanna was WAY off. I'm still upset about how they destroyed her character just to have another hot chick make out with Clark.
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Old 06-27-2010, 09:36 PM
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^That was the worst part of the episode for me. It didn't need to happen and had no place.
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Old 06-27-2010, 09:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by now.it.all.begins (View Post)
Zatanna was WAY off. I'm still upset about how they destroyed her character just to have another hot chick make out with Clark.
I know, that is what I hate most about the episode. Zatanna is a shy girl in that department she isn't the kind to take a guy's will away to make out with him, especially a taken guy. I know most Clois fans don't want her back because they think the writers would go there again but I just want her back so they can redeem her. I hate more what they did to her than that freaken suit they gave Lana and I hate that a LOT.
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