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Old 01-10-2018, 06:04 AM
  #31
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ML........so sorry to hear about your dad. That makes your travel plans so difficult to make. Is there any change today? I can understand you would want your daughter to go with you.

PODMOM......things really have changed for pregnant people these days. Some times I feel the doctors just request certain tests to help pay for the expensive equipment in their offices. I am glad Emily is doing so well.
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Old 01-10-2018, 06:53 AM
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Yes keepsmiling when I had my kids, there were no ultrasounds or anything unless the baby was way overdue. They do a lot more tests.

I'm thinking even though my daughter would be more helpful, we don't know how long we'll be down there and it makes more sense to bring my husband (who is the guy who is so anxious to be in Florida anyway) and we can muddle around the best we can down there. My daughter could go for a few days, but needs to get back to her job (and BF John).

Couldn't sleep this morning, too much whirling in my mind! What to do, what best to do, what needs to be done etc.


Wen had the second installment of her back surgery and is recuperating and I hope will have less pain now. Wow, California is always having bad stuff - the latest is bad rains and mud slides.

Edited to say daughter was hurt and furious at change of plan so now all 3 of us are going. don't know what I was thinking.
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Old 01-10-2018, 04:26 PM
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Thanks keepsmiling

ML so stressful before a big trip plus all the worry about dad and now Mlette upset. That will pass...everyone is stressed Once you get on the plane ( or maybe still in the car) and get going it will become less stressful. Still stress because of dad but the awful before the trip stress will be done. Do you have any idea when you are going?

Thanks for letting us know about Wen I so hope this procedure helps like it has sometimes in the past!
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Old 01-10-2018, 07:16 PM
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ML.........it seems your plans are flexible, or evolving at every turn. It is very difficult to think of every thing and consider everyone. You are in my prayers.
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Old 01-10-2018, 10:20 PM
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Dropped by because I heard that your dad was very unwell ML and thought most of the information would be clearest here. Thoughts with you on your dash to Florida. Will keep checking in to see how you are.

Hi to everyone else there in the USA freezing your little patooties off. We have been having heatwaves here. Currently staying with cousins who live by the sea so having a better time of it.
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Old 01-11-2018, 06:11 AM
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Thanks mezz. Dad passed away yesterday afternoon, so the mad dash to Florida is cancelled, and our vacation at his condo in FL is postponed. We'll drive down in a week or two and spend a month or two there, settling his affairs. Luckily the airline credits you the cancelled money, if there's a death. (and I can use that $ to fly in my son and/or brother - don't know if he's bringing is daughter yet, his wife is sick/getting over pneumonia and can't fly),

Meanwhile, funeral to plan (he had it all planned but details and people flying in, my brother from California and son from TX) etc!

Dad just couldn't wait! He had his own plans, as did G-d. When a person is almost 95, and very sick in the hospital, not unexpected. But still, sad.
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Old 01-11-2018, 06:52 AM
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ML.........this is not completely unexpected, but as you said it is still sad. Now I'm glad you can go down to FL at your convenience and take care of his affairs. I continue to hold you and your family in my prayers.

MEZZ.........good to hear from you again.

Hi PODMOM.
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Old 01-11-2018, 02:16 PM
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ML I'm sorry you didn't get to see your dad before he went. As you say, he had his plans and often the elderly like to leave while on their own to save grief. 94 is a great innings and from what I've heard, he lived with gusto. I hope all arrangements go smoothly for the funeral and other arrangements. My experiences of family funerals is that, while sad they are also a wonderful time to catch up with family. Also the memories shared and told are joyful. I hope you have a time that fills your heart full.
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Old 01-11-2018, 08:57 PM
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HUGS Mezz. Yes, I remember when my wonderful mother-in-law died, my young (college age) niece was furious that people were laughing and enjoying each other's company when HER Grandmother had just died! She is a very black and white person and didn't realize you could be really sad and grieve, and still enjoy each other's company, and laugh at happy memories, and be happy to be together as a family.

I'm very happy my son is coming up to stay with us, if only for a few days. I don't know if my brother has even been to my house (in ~30 years) and he is a very fussy person and I'm sure he'll look around in disgust at the clutter and the dust. Oh well! That's why we're putting him up in a motel! We've been tidying but I have piles of stuff related to retirement, and piles of tax papers and, well, piles of stuff in our 'office'. I don't want to hide stuff away willy nilly and then not know what I did with all these important papers!

It's very true, when people are dying, often they'd rather you weren't in the room - people wait until you have stepped out or gone home to slip away. I know that was true with my mother-in-law mentioned above. We visited her at the hospital (and she looked terrible), and after we went home, she passed away. Same with my grandfather - we saw him looking bad/sleeping in the hospital and then gone. Maybe Dad was trying to make things easier for us somehow; that always seemed to be one of his goals.

Frustrating though that we're finally both retired and have nothing but time and didn't get to spend any of it with Dad.

I wish I could have gotten in touch with more relatives to let them know, but Dad was very old and even his younger relatives are in their 80s or have passed away, except for a few. I think some of my husband's family will come and some of his cousins maybe. I think it will be very nice and whoever can make it there on a Monday (but a holiday here, Martin Luther King day), I will be very grateful.
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Old 01-12-2018, 06:59 AM
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ML........I know you are looking forward to having your son with you for a few days during this time. And remember your dad did it his way. My hubby's former mother-in-law lived to be 99. All of the family kept wanting to plan a big 100 birthday party and she was against it. So, four months before her 100th birthday, she died. They all called her the "marshmallow steamroller", she was always in charge but in a very sweet and caring way. She was a wonderful woman, and I was pleased to have known her for many years.
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Old 01-12-2018, 06:08 PM
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Exciting to see your son for a few days. Don't clean up too much just for fussy people. Your life will have to continue on after th gatherings. Yes I can feel your frustration of = now we have the time - but that is life at its contrary best.
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Old 01-13-2018, 08:47 PM
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: ) I love the 'marshmallow steamroller.' Yes, to the end Dad was in charge and the boss of himself. He was looking forward to 95, I think, but wasn't in the cards for him.

SO much drama, dealing with my (crazy) brother and his family. He's coming down with a cold now (who isn't?) so his wife and daughter panicked that it was the flu he would get pneumonia coming back East to the cold and they should cancel their trip - He's 69, but not elderly by any means. Anyway, he decided they were still coming.

But meanwhile, my son's flight was postponed, and delayed, and delayed more, and finally cancelled after he'd spent probably half a day at the airport First he was coming at 11, which was late to start with, but then it was 12, and then 1, and then maybe 3 a.m. and then they cancelled it and he'll be flying out tomorrow morning, here tomorrow afternoon - G-d Willing! I really hope he gets here smoothly tomorrow. So we have to get him around 2 and then mybrother and niece get in around 8 pm - and I'm sooo hoping there will be no additional drama with their trip.

This is wearing me out. Mlette came over and we picked out a bunch of photos of Dad and got them printed with the 1 hour printing at CVS and are making a poster board of pix of his life. All set to stick them down when we realized there are none of him with my niece (his other granddaughter) on there, so I emailed them to ask for photos if any of the two of them together. Hope they send some and we can finish that project.

I also baked my mother's sour cream coffeecake today, but decided to try and make it nondairy for son and husband who are lactose intolerant - I had dairy free margarine and I'd seen ads for lactose free sour cream - went looking, saw some 'dairy free' - got it home and realized it's vegan and wasn't made of milk at all but weird stuff, tasted a little odd but I took a chance. Cake came out okay - phew. (Hoping it won't have any weird gastric repercussions from the weird cream).

Sooo tired. I haven't slept more than 4 or 5 hours for days and days... up late, wake up really early, stuff to do! Daughter and I also worked on tidying - we are both 'pilers' and spent time going down through the strata of stuff that got put down and never thrown away (plans for my Dad's 90th party 5 years ago, for example!)
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Old 01-14-2018, 10:57 AM
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ML...........prayers that your son, and your brother's family arrive safe and some what on time. We are thinking of you as your orchestrate all of the family drama.
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Old 01-14-2018, 09:36 PM
  #44
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Oh ML I was at Liz's with no computer and I just popped on here before going to bed and saw about your dad. I am so sorry of course he lived a wonderfully healthy long life till the very end which is an amazing blessing which many don't get and that is a huge comfort but I am sorry you didn't get to see him. Of course you are exhausted and you have a ways to go. It is a good thing you are retired because that would have made this even more exhausting. I too pray your son and brother and his family arrive with no more delays and that things are peaceful and that you get to enjoy being with your son especially. I too will be lifting you and yours up in prayer

Mezz So sweet of you to come check on ML and her dad. You are a gem and we miss you here. I'm glad we have FB to keep track of you I had heard it was a heat wave down under. I'm happy you get to be with friends by the sea!

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Old 01-16-2018, 06:53 AM
  #45
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Drama to the last minute. My son's flight was cancelled and rebooked for the next day (Sunday) and we picked him up that afternoon. My brother and niece were ready to leave for the airport, when my niece started throwing up (and throwing down) and got very ill - so my brother flew out by himself, and niece stayed home. Brother got in safely, took taxi to his hotel and went to bed Sunday and we picked him up Monday enroute to the funeral - I brought him my ankle length down 'dog walking coat' that will keep a person warm in below zero weather (he came from Los Angeles, he doesn't own winter clothing).

Oh and Monday morning, it not only was bitter cold, but it started snowing! But the snow stopped in time for the funeral, and was big fluffy snow/didnt' amount to much (and now it's supposed to snow tomorrow, when my son and brother have to fly back.. worry).

But everything went very well. There wasn't a big turn out, but when you're almost 95, most of your family is gone, and even though it was a holiday here (Martin Luther King Day), it was a weekday and bitter cold, so it's a lot to ask of people (even Barbara bailed on going at the last minute, which I thought was stinky, after all the cups of tea I've given her - but she bailed on the wedding in Buffalo too so.. whatever). Two of my husband's sister's came (his brother was away, but they stopped by the house with cookies etc earlier). One of my husband's cousins came, brought a coffee cake and card, went to the cemetery and froze with us. My Mom's cousin and my Aunt (Mom's sister in law) and some of her kids came. One of my Dad's cousins came, who we only met at my Mom's funeral and showed up again - he looked so much like my Uncle Fred, definitely had family face and really nice guy.

I read my speech, my brother read his (a bit long, because he's a man of not few words, but from the heart and really beautiful). My Dad did a lot for my brother, helped and supported him his whole life, so my brother was very grateful. sigh.

And now it's supposed to snow tomorrow and I hope they can both fly home as scheduled!

Thanks for your sympathies, my friends! Dad did live a good long life, on his own terms, and I think he would have been pleased to see his plans carried out and be honors. Oh, they had military honors because he's a veteran too - two poor Army soldiers in dress uniform freezing their butts off in the cold, played Taps, saluted, folded the flag and presented it to me - it was beautiful and really moving.

So good to have my son home; I think it's a good break for him from all his responsibilities at home, too. And good to spend some time with my brother (even though he wears me out/gets on my last nerve - lol).
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