annierose

i've just seen a video of shenae and jessica.L talking about dixon and according to them he's not gonna die!thank god for that!
but i was so sad when i heard shenae saying that she doesn't want her character to be with a priest or someone who sees her as sex object!! she wants annie to hook up with a normal guy!!
which means no caleb for season 5!!noooooooo!!! i'm sad to tears!!!
i'm still hoping for my lovely Lannie but liam has got to change to become someone who deserves annie!
but i wouldn't mind Austin/Annie! they're hot together!!

Chastidy

A lot of people seem to be interested in seeing Annie with Austin, I wonder if it'll happen.

smoothaise

i would think they'll make austin/justin a series regular, at this point. i don't think austin/annie would be a bad combo. although it seems to be austin trying to get with ade, right now.

eta: robert hoffman was a guest star for afterbuzztv's after show.

Mayberry

Another year of calamity, couple-swapping, and crazy shenanigans is over. Does this mean that Liam will get the brain transplant he so desperately needs? One can only hope. But I'm going to do this review anyway because according to the CW, it's TV to talk about......

Previously on 90210....Navid and Liam did a 1-800-Flowers ad for Silver, Silver told the boys about babies to Liam's horror, and Max asked Naomi if he was making a mistake by taking Madison to SeaWorld for their honeymoon.

Look, a popular song is playing on 90210 called "Call Me Maybe." This is Dixon's anthem after he split and left Ade a thousand messages. Naomi is less evasive and is wondering where the bride and groom are at their rehearsal. It can't take that long to scrub Madison down so she doesn't smell like salmon. Max can't pick up right now; he's gagging from the fish funk and dreaming of a nutty wedding planner that wasn't in 27 Dresses. Mama Holly, who was apparently off starting offices that don't have staffs, shows up to the church because Naomi wedding-jacked her. That's why she's wearing blue cause she's sad. Naomi gloats by saying that all she had to do to get Madison onboard was wave a fish stick in her face. Holly's in London so she'll have to send Mama back some fish and chips. Mama Holly invites Naomi to work at her New York office so Naomi will get mugged and lose all her gold cards on the first day. So call her maybe?

Max shows up in pastels because he knows Naomi likes them, and lets her know that Space Cadet is puking up tartar sauce on the nearby trees. He's worried because he's watched Lord of the Rings enough times to know trees get pissed if humans treat trees like trash. Max knows Space Cadet is a lost cause and thinks up the brilliant plan to have Naomi walk down the aisle instead. Naomi disses Mama Holly and says "excuse her, she's gotta do her job instead of letting her daughter do all the work." Mama Holly tells her to think it over; she's got nothing better to do than wait for Naomi to call her maybe. Naomi runs off to marry her ex-boyfriend before Space Cadet emerges out of the woods as her true self, the bright eyed-squirrel from Spongebob who loves living in the sea.

Caleb brought Annie to church so she could make a confession: yes, she stole some of the blanket from Caleb, but did he really have to bring her here? The priest is alarmed that they've shared pillows. Annie blushes, crosses her legs, and says she'll go to Linen N' Things right after they stop getting lectured about illegal activities she had nothing to do with. Diego and Ivy are getting read the riot act for their not-so-secret-secret-art. Now they have to get married or get signatures on a petition in order to show that they're not hacks. If enough people sign, Diego will stop painting, so they think they're gonna reach their goal. If they don't, Diego's poseur self gets deported to Mexico. Ivy didn't go on Spring Break in season 3 so she thinks Mexico is just one shack full of pinantas and beans. She is devestated. The priest asks if Diego/Ivy have shared pillows and Diego says, yeah, about a week ago. He starts fighting with Caleb about these crazy bed-sharing kids. Caleb shoots back some Scripture and the priests says fine, but what's that ring on Annie's finger? I bought it, says Annie. Then you mock marriage, challenges the priest. I just came here to learn about deportation cause I don't go to any of my classes, defends Annie. Gooooshhhh.

Annie says she's going to start a rally because she's used to doing work and she wants the priest to like her. The priest says he'll only like her if she burns all of her pillows, chucks the ring, and sends Caleb back to the fold.....in five minutes. Annie tells Caleb that's impossible. Are you going to take his side or mine? Caleb chooses Annie and is going to buy her a Ring Pop so she won't offend the priest she barely has to tolerate and can have jewelry she can eat.

Austin is watching a flowery phone with Adrianna breathing/singing, and hears Liam call him Princess which he's trained Liam to do. Liam believes Austin is a princess because he saw Kate Middleton wearing boots like Austin. Liam's reward is to watch Adrianna sing. He just stares at her tongue in fascination. Can't believe I let that one slip away, the last girl on my scoreboard. Oh well, back to temporarily mooning over Silver. Austin announces Ade's opening for Hillybilly Ray Cyrus. Ade's gonna play for fortysomething men and a bored Miley basically. But Ade would sing to a jackrabbit if he stood still long enough so this is huuuuge. Dixon calls cause he heard Ade got a gig without him. Say whaaaaaaat? He's been playing for AI fans and Haley's high school buddies, and he needs an audience that isn't spending half the concert texting. Austin ignores Dixon's calls. They're not for him so they don't matter. He wants Adrianna to focus on her jackrabbit fan, and wants to hear how messed up Liam's love life is.

The fish behind Liam is screaming. He enjoys hearing about this triangle as much as I do. Liam says there's just something about Silver. Apparently, since she's circled the whole male group like an Indy racer. There's going to be a There's Something About Silver movie but Liam will only be able to get a part as the waiter. Navid will just show up everyday hoping to be noticed. Austin shares that Liam's movie made 55 million at the box office opening weekend. What he neglects to tell him is that it was Vanessa who bought all the tickets, crying in theatres all over about how much time she wasted trying to make the most out of Liam's talent. She also sent him a gift basket full of Payday bars, chocolate coins, and M&Ms with dollar signs. That's what you get for being bad with money, sucker. Love always, Vanessa. P.S. I faked everything with you, and I do mean EVERYthing. Liam's like why aren't these M&Ms talking like on the commercials?

Navid comes over to talk to Silver, who's wearing Strawberry Shortcake's miniskirt over her shoulders. He wants to ask Silver if they can buy a baby doll and pretend it's a real baby for eighteen years. Ugh, moans Silver. How'd you ever get into Princeton? Whining like I always do, shrugs Navid. He apologizes for his stupidity because he knows Silver won't apologize first. Navid says he really means it and he'll prove it by giving her some sperm. Silver's excited because Navid finally figured out the biological process. They hug and Navid asks her to explain breastfeeding so he can get his chest ready.

The wedding march plays with Max standing next to Short-Haired Preacher Michelle Obama. Max is rich enough to have an Obama marry him. Naomi walks with Space Cadet's father up the aisle. This is the hottest chick he's ever had on his arm. Max is jealous because he's afraid Naomi will be engaged to Madison's father in one week like PJ. They stop to console Space Cadet's mother who thinks her husband is going to leave her. She cries because Naomi's on the road to being Space Cadet's stepmother. She's already covering for the girl's drunken antics. Space Cadet's parents look like they'd rather be at a seafood restaurant than at this rehearsal; Madison was probably conceived at Long John Silver's. Aye do, matey, argh! Space Cadet's friend Kiki is proud because she's going to read for the third time in her life. Naomi explains what they'll all be doing since most of them can't read either and ditched the wedding invitations. She kisses Max, and sparks fly. Max is thinking, "finally some fresh breath!" after a night of smelling tuna. Oh, and this is awkward. Naomi feels the same and jets out of there. Part of me wonders if it's because her dress is being held together by safety pins but the other 95% of me knows it's because she's still feeling Max. So she can either hop on him in front of the preacher or high tail it outta there. Max goes to check on her and Naomi says she's trying to be a professional wedding planner like Jennifer Lopez but it's hard in these heels. Did he mean what he said after the bachelorette party or not? Max plays it cools and says he had a lot of Mike's Hard Lemonade and can't remember a thing. Naomi will now forever hate Mike's Hard Lemonade. Dangit, Max, this wedding is a sham and not even an Obama can save it. Now go park your lips on Naomi's.

Adrianna's karaoke machine broke so she decided to be a waitress for the day. A crazy fan comes up to her in a T-shirt with Adrianna's Dixon-hating lyrics. Then the fan says she wants Dixon to die. She's a Sixon fan who knows they'll only get back together if Silver sleeps with him on his deathbed. Adrianna calls her a freak but autographs her shirt: Buy more records, psycho. XOX Adrianna. Liam laughing after he hears a woman wants him dead. He wants to bang Ade. This proves it. Liam says he's used to fangirls and tells Adrianna what kind of gas he has. Adrianna pinches her nose. Then he mentions Silver and Adrianna picks up a glass to pound him with it. But Liam admits that Siam is pretty much dead and Adrianna smiles. She almost ruined her commemorative Garth Brooks glass for nothing.

After Navid looked up "sexy" in the dictionary, he climbs on Silver's bed to get her aroused. He also put on Dixon's rejected track, and washed his best Power Ranger bedsheets. Banging on pictures of the Red Ranger makes him feel like a man. He's also smartly turned off the lights so Silver won't have to see him. Silver thinks it's Liam until she sees some busted flowers, a Donald Duck nightlight, and a head of black hair. Whatever. Silver gives Navid an ovulation kit/calendar because he said his period's been late for about nineteen years. Navid wants to know when they're going to get rocking on the Ranger, but Silver says for him to just squirt some sperm into this Starbucks cup and get out. Navid says no, let's have sex so I can sweat. Won't sweat work. Silver's like, you better not have any dumb sperm; that's the only reason Liam isn't here. Navid calls himself a stud bull. He's more like Bambi, who had to have a rabbit teach him how to walk. No, scratch that. Navid can't even find the light switch.

The moon is closing his eyes. God is judging Cannie so hard right now. Somebody laid some Bible verse pages on the table behind Annie's back, probably that priest. Then Annie says she wants to go to Italy and get horizontal on a gondola. He has failed.
Naomi comes in with shopping bags, which would be her accessory if they ever made a Naomi doll. Caleb leaves to go make sure Diego hasn't turned the church isn't a graffiti display and that Ivy isn't finger-surfing in the holy water. Annie's excited because she's never seen rich people's shoes before that weren't approved by PJ. Naomi explains how she kissed Max. Her knees went weak and she chose a spot for a hickie. But then she remembered Space Cadet's marrying him. In walks the brine shrimp airhead. "Ding-dong!" yells Madison. The witch is dumb. She's wearing a puke-colored dress because she couldn't wash it off and bought Naomi a present with puke wrapping paper. She bought Naomi a doodle that's worth a lot of money. Meanwhile, Naomi wants to doodle her fiancee. Then Space Cadet proves she's a space cadet and says she's moving in across from Naomi. Twit. I hope Max moves in and doodles Naomi all over that house after he dumps you next to Shamu's tank.

Everybody made a Diego poster to show younger artists that they shouldn't be like him. They wave it around in broad daylight so the police will be able to spot him and drag him away. Adrianna is scheduled to sing cause apparently this is Diego's quincinera. Annie's wearing stripes! The priest comes up and measures how far the hem of Annie's striped dress is to the ground.

Adrianna and Austin are discussing what Adrianna should sing: Lady Gaga or Selena Gomez since Diego's almost in Mexico. Austin says she should sing the Dixon-hating song. Other girls need to hear how Dixon sucks so that means more girls for Austin. Adrianna agrees because she wants to sell more Itunes. Navid comes up to check on Ade and tell Austin about his baby-making sex. Austin says he's surprised Navid figured out the mechanics of lovemaking. Navid's like, it was all downhill after I rammed my elbow into her stomach. Austin says you're pathetic and to ice his elbow.

Liam's playing taco monitor when Silver comes up for some hot sauce. Wait, Liam has to tell her the movie did well? Wasn't she working on the movie too? She wouldn't keep track of it? I guess she was embarrassed to be associated with it. Can't blame her. Siam tell each other how good they look and trade make-up tips. Caleb comes up before they start discussing eyeliner. The press wants Liam; they need him to carry a camera or two.

Max is feeding Space Cadet some crawfish cause she's low on protein. If it drops to a certain level, she changes into Flipper. They want to set up Naomi with a rich guy that's bald. Max says I didn't think you went for that and makes a mental note to pull a Vin Diesel. Naomi informs the couple that she's going to NY. Mama Holly gets her way; Naomi will be penniless in about a week. There's no office, except for a crate and a phone in the middle of a junkyard. Space Cadet says she'll miss her cause she won't be around to feed her fish and lemonade. Max says he's happy for Naomi, then faints. Space Cadet took a large amount of the surrounding oxygen to survive on land. She promises to resuscitate Max if Naomi leaves. Naomi leaves and Max wakes up. She keeps coming back because she wants you to say something, Max. URGH. I totally think Max isn't thinking clearly due to the oxygen not reaching his brain...or the brain in his pants.

Austin finally coughs up the truth: Dixon's hunting around for a new cellphone plan and needs to speak with Adrianna. Adrianna's about to recommend Sprint until she hears his messages: "Babe, lend me five dollars." "I saw you on YouTube. You think you're Justin Beiber or something?" "By the way, I love you. Lend me five dollars. It's hard out here for a pimp." Adrianna is touched by 1 out of the 3 messages. Some guys are going to drive him to Santa Monica pier and throw him out of the car...if they don't get that five bucks. Adrianna goes to Bank of America and sings in the intercom until they cash her waitress check.

They found 400 signatures that say they want Diego to quit painting. No matter since Diego's decided to go to Mexico. Since he's had his quincinera, all his American dreams have been achieved. Ivy throws out the solution she always does when there's trouble with her man: let's get married! I'm surprised she didn't marry Dixon in the planetarium. Anyway, Diego says he doesn't want to be like Raj, which is funny considering he skateboards in the same park, dates the same girl, and mentions Raj in half their plots. Shut up, PLL Raj. The only elephant you deserve is an animal cracker. The deportation lady comes to collect Diego. Cousin Dora's going to meet him in Mexico where they'll explain shapes and animals to preschoolers. Ivy cries because her storylines are a ball of suck and she's leaving this show pronto, amigos.

Nilver talks about a superior couple, Maxomi, and eats the shrimp Madison didn't get to. Navid makes a plea for Silver's heart which is like making a plea for a leprechaun to give you his pot of gold. He needs a drink...and goes to find a baby bottle.

Annie comes in talking about weddings, which scares Caleb. He knows the priest is always watching him from afar, and Annie's the priest's last choice for a bride. Annie mentions being naked to get Caleb's attention. He's depressed about Diego; he's going to miss playing Frisbee with him in the sanctuary. Caleb says he could've prayed but he couldn't. God has put Caleb on a time-out for the Frisbee throwing and for macking on Annie without permission. He's not going to the wedding since he has to sit in a corner and think about what he's done.

Livy is talking? Wiiiiild. Now I know Ivy's time is up. This is like one last hurrah since it all started with Liam and it'll end with Liam. What a sad state of affairs. They discuss Silver as harp music plays. Silver's the writer's angel so it makes sense. She can do no wrong. Even Ivy's a Siam fan. Yeah, blondie, it's time to go. Ivy runs off to be with Diego in Mexico. Adios Ivy! May you find a dude you don't have to marry and the choicest waves ever. Losing you is such a bummer!

Adrianna is at the pier singing to seagulls. Austin calls to see where she is, and she says she's waiting for Dixon with the five bucks, or to Diego, cinco dollares. Austin's at the airport when Naomi walks in. She's wearing leopard print so he puts his hunter eyes on and attacks Naomi with the truth. Max was NOT drinking that night, not even Mike's Hard Lemonade. Austin tells Naomi to put on her spurs and mosey on back to the wedding. Then, he holds her purse like a true cowboy. He checks her purse for chewing tobaccy and sighs. I'm beginning to like Austin. He's keeping Dixanna apart and pushing Maxomi together. He's like me with a lasso.

Naomi is busting her way through L.A. traffic, which is one of the few times this show has realistically portrayed L.A. traffic. She drives on the sidewalk. Naomi Clark doesn't need to be on the street. She pays half the city taxes. She nearly runs over the construction workers who were Naustin fans until she gave them whiplash.

A random guy is doing push-ups for Adrianna at the beach. He heard that anti-Dixon song too and wants some Tate-Duncan. Adrianna's sad. She could've bought some gumballs with the five bucks.

Liam comes over to say that he wants Silver's pretty self. He thinks pretty people should be together, at least for a little while. Silver says he needs more mascara and Liam runs to put some on.

Baby I Need Your Lovin', gotta have all that lovin', Silver needs some lovin', got to have all 90210 male lovin'....Max nods his head and bops around. He's still low on oxygen.

Who is Navid sitting next to? Bill Nye the Science guy? I assume it's Max's uncle or father, who doesn't know that Max hasn't drawn up a prenup. I am not surprised, however, that Navid is sitting with a geek that's more manly than him.

Annie notices both guys are checking out Silver, and barely reacts when Silver says she just wants to jump Liam's bones. Annie of course doesn't say anything except that it's WEIRD. Annie, there isn't much hair to yank, but do it. Annie mentions that it's also weird that she loves a priest. She then displays her Ring Pop to Silver so that she knows Cannie's serious and Caleb's taken.

Silver has no idea what to do. I know. She's going to be in love with someone else six months from now.

The guy's no longer doing push-ups and is swinging on the hoops for Ade. She's finally had enough, especially when she hears her song being played by a woman. It's like her Bat signal. She's gotta sing or she'll combust. Ade will use the five bucks for airplane peanuts.

Naomi's flying over the pavement to stop Space Cadet from sinking her hooks into Max. She runs like she's in a marathon and the trophy is a hot computer exec. Dang those heels! Just as they're about to make it permanent, Naomi busts into the church, letting in oxygen for Max. He breathes multiple sighs of relief. She declares her love for Max. Aaaand nothing. Wow. Naomi ducks out, heartbroken. Max is supposed to leave Space Cadet, and run out with Naomi. Hasn't he seen the movie? Naomi's going to have nightmares about gospel choirs and white roses for weeks.

Annie and Silver go to track down Naomi. One's good at running around churches and the other's good at finding friends who need affection. Why is Annie carrying around a Flintstones purse? I bet Caleb made it since there's no TV in the church. See, even Annie knows The Graduate! Probably cause she slept with an older man. Silver's ticked off Max hasn't hit on her. Annie says can we focus on my messed up love life? I want a priest! Where is Max, woman? yells Silver. Annie runs off to see Caleb or at least return the bag.

Ivy's bound for Mexico City! Bye Gilly! I wish I cared more that you were leaving. Now it's kinda like watching a kid go off to college. You want what's best for them and you want them to find a good job. Bwah!

Annie finds Caleb in time-out. He's staring at Mary, the apostles, and a bunch of candles he used to burn their pillows with. Annie doesn't want Caleb to leave the priesthood. Cannie trades ILYs. Has the priest finally got his way? Cannie has a beautiful good-bye and a passionate kiss. Caleb pulls out something. It's a feather....from their pillow. Cannie for life! No regrets indeed.

It's Max's turn to run, so he goes up the steps to find a weeping Naomi. He didn't marry the Little Mermaid much to Naomi's surprise. He still loves himself some alien and now can they suck lips? Finally! Maxomi, Maxomi, Maxomi! Reunited and it feels so good! This is the best way NOT to get oxygen.

Silver's pouring wine for a faceless suitor. A gay suitor at that. It's Teddy! Yeah, I missed Teddy. Now she can have very athletic, intelligent sperm and won't have to ruin Navid's Power Rangers sheets. Teddy checks if it's poor people's wine and says he'll think about it. Get on the bed, orders Silver. It's been awhile since you got some, huh, Silver? says Teddy. Get...on...the...bed. repeats Silver. This is happening all summer while the writers decide which straight man gets with me. A sperm donor's gotta do what a sperm donor's gotta do.

Teddy really is the best choice. He's cute, smart, and will always be in Silver's life. Oh, and he's kinda loaded.

Vanessa's back to rob Liam blind. But first she needs to make Liam work to get more money, and he's stuck in a contract. They're shooting in Bolivia where she's going to shoot HIM with a poisonous dart. Cause Liam likes darts, you know?

Dixon's driving around the desert with Harold and Kumar who are too high to function. He's wearing a hat that the guys stuffed reefer under, and calls Navid to say that he's coming back for Ade. Navid says Dixon got some 'splaining to do and then he gets hit by a mack truck. The car scrunches and flips like a Slinky, and Dixon does an alley oop in the air. Ade walks to the jet and explains what went down without knowing what really went down. She's going on tour. Austin asks her for the five bucks for fuel money. Ade's torn but surrenders the dough. The fireman are trying to find Dixon's body. They find the reefer and call it a day. The evil fan that wanted Dix dead posts that she's happy on Twitter.

This was a pretty awesome finale, I gotta say. I just laugh off the stupidity of the Siam/Nilver triangle. It makes it so much more bearable, especially since Annie doesn't care and Navid is trying to bring sexy back and Teddy ended up being the dad anyway. The writers don't know what to do.

If Dixanna is reuniting....honestly, I don't want to sit through it so if that means Dixon isn't coming back, then so be it. No, really. I'm over the music storylines and I enjoyed the past three eps. Maybe if they make me care about Dixon again, he'll be my second male character like he was in s1/2.
But I think Austin is going to tap the Tate-Duncan anyway.

Maxomi owns me. Almost nobody has the chemistry Josh/AL does and Space Cadet got screwed royally so props.

Cannie, come back. What a great way to say good-bye but come back. Does anybody think Caleb will think of Annie whenever it rains? Then, God will strike them down with lightning unless he marries her.

This is the first.........A.....I'm giving out all season. And last year's finale got an F so you know I'm a tough critic.

Cannie and Ivy say farewell, Dixon sailed through the sky and fell, and Madison spent the night crying in her would-be honeymoon hotel. Oh well. Til next time, people. Don't break up any weddings....wearing your best heels!

fashionista22

Mayberry, thanks for your review! As always, it was hilarious.
I actually enjoy them more than the actual episodes and can't wait to read the ones for the upcoming season.

Chastidy

You should have some sort of blog

Mayberry

Thanks guys! I can't believe I won't be doing one for another four months.

priya1008

yowza. i'm impressed (with the writers). it takes a village for May to give out an A.

i am LMAO remembering last season's finale review: you gave them an F minus.

Mayberry

No, priya. I gave them a F -, Ffffffffffffffffff infinity F. They ruined my two fave couples, and reunited my least fave couple. UGH. I was glad I never rewatched that one. But still, wedding elephant FTW.

priya1008

Oh yeah. Now it's all coming back. F infinity...

Not even the elephant and the Maxomi ILYs could save that craptastic finale.

Chastidy

Hi Leolion, yes they have confirmed that there will be another season of the show

nicoleevans5

..............

Forwood4Bamon

haha your least favorite reunited. same here.

Alexa

i dont have much to say about the finale.

glad caleb is gone.

only 6 more episodes of this liam/silver mess.... the annie/silver scene was just awkward. no. not cool.

the only stuff i really loved was the naomi/max stuff. it was cute. stopping the wedding was a bit ridiculous.

on to season 5!

Chastidy

Was Annie annoyed about Silver/Liam?