Mayberry

Sooooo previously on 90210.... Navid got kissed and dissed before buying mistletoe, Patrick stuffed Annie's stocking with dollar bills, and Liam carved the roast beef after he spent seven hours basting it.

Twelve Hermes scarves Naomi winds around her neck when she realizes her mistake in lassoing Austin. Anyway, Jed Clampett comes in to watch Naomi tie a scarf around her neck because he doesn't know how and she puts a stop to their horseback riding date. The ponies probably miss L.A. Cowboy because they're smarter than him and when they gamble, they win everything. Right, Liam? Too soon? Austin realizes he won't get a kiss and pulls out the old trusty mistletoe he found in a trash can. Naomi ducks and is grateful when Holly walks in. She orders Brokeback Mountain Boy to fetch bags for the charity drive. He gets Scooby Doo snacks if he doesn't drool on them. Woohoo, yells Hopalong Stripper and races from the room. But of course he comes back so that Naomi won't reveal who she's working for. Austin...he interrupts life. "Strong women need to stick together." Yeah, tell that to the sorority sisters we haven't seen in how long? Then after that, you can tell Silver, boyfriend bounty hunter.

Annie stalks Jeremy from her car which I guess Patrick paid for.
Eleven joys of being a part-time college student. Stalk athletic Jeremy. Drink whenever, attend countless parties, bug Liam about his bar, live in a mansion without paying rent, etc. Anyhoo, Annie yells at Jeremy for buying Marla's necklace. He can't help it if it looks better on him, sweetie. This is like the fifth time Annie could've been arrested in two years. What does she have? A force field against being arrested? I guess she's like any other pretty young actress in Hollywood though. She'll be out of jail 6 hours due to overcrowding.

Ten minutes of Navid giggling like a goon. Kat Lady is trying to prep him for going undercover with Uncle Amal. She made him watch eight hours of Nikita to show Navid how a woman gets a job done. Navid broke a nail while taking a DVD out of the box. Kat Lady flatters him to make him feel better and tells him he better handle his business. It's too much for Navid and he goes to get drunk on egg nog.

Nine bad Silver outfits. This one is particularly bad, but she's brainy so the professor is still turned on. She offers to cook him dinner because after seeing Liam try, she knows she can do a much better job. Hot Prof dodges her offer to come over because he doesn't want her bad wardrobe near his bed. He gets a phone call and Silver's confused. He's ordering her outfits from the local thrift mall.

Eight inches of Christmas goodness courtesy of a tree. Men in Trees aka Lixon talk about Annie as they load the truck. Liam says he still has feelings in the most casual voice I've ever heard. But I guess that's how we know Liam's sincere. Vinny just called to say "I love you" to Liam and Liam would rather hang out with anybody other than Dixon. Dixon, can you feel the ice on your sober shoulders? Liam, if you keep treating him like this, he's going to start snorting the sprinkles off Christmas cookies.

Seven cups of coffee Mama Holly wants Naomi to bring her. Folger's or peppermint mocha cappuchinos from McD's will do. But honestly this is probably the most realistic plot Naomi's had all season so bring it. Mama Holly gives her a sincere dose of reality. Welcome to the working world, Nay! Joy to the world...one of these kids besides Ade has a job that makes sense.

Six strings of light that Liam ordered Adrianna to hang. Dixon gets a peek and is thankful to his hot homey. Dixon screwed up and played Ade's song. Actually, he pulled an Adrianna. This show just convinces me he's the male Adrianna more and more. She should nutcrack that track in half. Adrianna busts his balls like the Grinch, and Dixon's like whaaaaaaa? I love when Ade's pissed. She's going to burn Liam's tree because Dixon touched that too. Dixon should've just gave her the puppy. Beyonce went missing so he can buy her Rihanna.

Ughhhhh, Austin. "What you doing, woman?" "Doing my job, he-man hick." I hate the way he talks. Of course, Wild Bill asks if Naomi can copy her rump on the machine. To him, it's the Mona Lisa. Basically all he's doing is coming in to annoy Naomi, right? Yeah, he's totally contributing here. Naomi wonders how the copier works and Austin picks up a plug. Oh I guess that's his contribution. He must really want that rear end picture.

Does Dixon or Austin ever lock the door? Adrianna just pops up. Just Dumb pops up. I think it would be hilarious if they came in and most of their stuff was gone. They don't do jack to protect their pad. Debbie sent Dixon some leftover chocolate from Halloween. That's waaaaaay better than rehab money. She gave Ryan a George Foreman grill he can cook hot dogs on when he's not eating them out of the Parisian trash. Just Dumb tries to convince Dixon to play Adrianna's song that he did a Pittbull-type cameo on, yet another bad decision that could only be the work of Just Dumb. Will Dixon take the chocolate-flavored bait? Will he be the Timbaland to Adrianna's Timberlake?

Silver goes to deliver Navid's Baby-sitter Club books and check if the plants are dead yet. That's great, Navid, tell a Hannukah lie to the half-Jewish girl. Leila will probably have to light the menorah because Navid can't play with matches. When is Navid going to stop being moody? I want to punch him in the chin just so he'll smile. Nilver's so painful. Their whole relationship is a lump of coal. Navid says that the uncle stuff is almost dunzo and that Kat Lady means nothing to him. Silver sees a pretty pink piece of clothing and gets upset. It's really Navid's but he doesn't get the chance to explain. Navid with your clothes so bright, won't you drive our sled tonight.....

Annie's in debt and Patrick offers her a Christmas bonus in Hawaii. Annie's other gift: a threesome. Whoa, that was actually pretty ballsy for this show. Annie says no because it would make Bree mad if it ever got back to her. Liam heard someone mention "Annie" and "threesome" and rushed right over. Liam asks Annie to the party, but she can't go "because of Paris". Yeah I'd choose Paris over the Jersey Shore kid, that's for sure. Annie hints at her ho-ho-ho activities. She can see that Liam's turned on and they get closer than fire to a yule log. Meh. Didn't Lannie do this last year? They had separate love interests and then they're gone and then they hook up in an inappropriate setting? I'm just waiting for Ivy to walk in with the recycled script and hit them both upside the head. And it seems like Annie always cries before they have sex. Maybe she's afraid Liam will smother her. She is fairly petite.

At least Liam apologized. He tasted her tears, the bitterness in her life, and realized the error of his ways. This scene is kind of boring so I'm just rambling on. I really wish Liam found Annie hooking on the street. That would've been much more powerful. But knowing Liam he'd just think she was collecting for the Salvation Army...without a bell or a Santa beard or a bucket. I totally hope that happens next year. Annie gets bored avoiding Liam's questions and stomps off to throw a snowball at Jeremy.

Hot Teach turns into Hot Santa and wants Silver to sit in his lap. Silver will sit in anybody's lap especially if it's a guy. She wants to know what the dealio is since she's sick of men lying to her, namely Navid, who's still writing letters to Santa. Hot Teacher reveals he's an ex-hubby with a kid. Silver has the best wide eye expressions. She thought his secret was going to be that he's a really, really tall elf that has to answer to Kris Kringle. He asks if Silver's ready to be his Mrs. Claus. That's a lot of pressure, committing to one man, ain't it, Silver?

Naomi stole a poinsetta from Starbucks to bring to the office for Mama Holly. She's much more experienced today and the copier is her new best friend. She didn't even have to show the copier her goods. Naomi looks beautiful this episode. The writers need to stop trotting her around in bathing suits all the time so hopefully this job sticks. Naomi's graduated to event planning. She may not graduate anything else if she doesn't go to class! Just saying. The party's for Holly, her entitled nemesis. It's a wonderful life, Naomi.

Fiiiiiiiiiive seconds of Liam riding on a Harleeeeeeeeey. Liam in a suit all revved up. May likes. May likes very much. Except for the Go-Gos singing in the background like Liam's on his way to a party honoring Ferris Bueller. Vinnie is also impressed. He sidesteps a hot blonde to talk to his crush and everything. Bwah, Vinnie asks if Liam has a date and is all excited when he says no. Thanks, show. You write my review for me sometimes. Vinnie introduces Liam to the Santa's Little Helper hookers and a bartender that looks like Nina Dobrev. Nina just showed up to check out Liam; she's not fooling anybody. One of the Helper hookers is Bree who is not impressed; Liam's been stealing Annie from her lately. Liam lectures the hooker while Bree panics. Liam, you slept with a hooker. Live with that, Abs-Man. Bree informs him about Annie's "travelling" plans. Liam has to stop her plane before he's home alone. Ahhhhhhhhh!

Naomi tells Austin to act right while they're at Holly's bash. He just smiles and sniffs the tree. This dude's as expendable as a gingerbread man. Here's hoping Holly chomps his head off or Naomi throws him away because he's too many calories.

I keep forgetting about Navid's storyline until he pops up. So Kat Lady's watching him sweet talk Uncle Amal. It's the biggest battle since Heat Meiser and Snow Meiser. Navid's Heat Meiser since he has more hair and isn't cool. He won't shut his trap so the jig is up. He's sweating bullets (told you he was Heat Meiser) and the Meiser Mob disowns him. Kat Lady can't work with loser so she jets off. Uncle Amal won't take him home. Thanks for ruining the Meiser family name, punk.

Random Eminem is making the teenagers rock out. I guess X Factor didn't pan out for him. Holly reminds Austin of the countryside he's missing and he admit he also misses life pre-Naomi. Translation: he misses saying yee-haw every two seconds and eating out of a trough.

Four Mama Holly hairstyles. She congratulates Naomi who has to herd in Austin so he'll tail Holly. And by tail, of course, he's going to get ideas. He blows up at Naomi for treating him shabbily but he should be used to it after hanging out with cattle for so long.

Navid strolls the lonely parking lot wondering if Santa got the Bratz dolls and Hello Kitty notebook he asked for. And no, his list didn't get mixed up with Leila's or any of his younger sisters.
Three men stomp Navid's wittle booty. Poor Navid. Why wouldn't a cop make sure he got home safe? Kat Lady doesn't feel like he's worth it. She must've talked to Silver. I felt bad for him but this plot needs to end pronto. It's lasting longer than waiting in a Customer Service line at Wal-Mart.

Two men arguing over Annie. Patrick's waiting for his Pretty Woman and gets attacked by the Pretty Model. Liam, go air out your anger somewhere else. Patrick didn't do anything Annie didn't want him to do. It's just like she assumed the necklace was hers after she sold it. The only one who should get any blame is Annie. Ugh. This is getting Mary Sue-ish. Patrick shares Annie's hooker life with Liam and Liam barely listens. He spits on the bed where Patrick and Annie fornicated, finds a hundred dollars, and goes to pay for a new non-flammable tree.

Holly's mom or Beyonce's mom (I don't know...she kinda looks like both) tells Naomi to look for somebody who messed up the nativity scene. Liam that's who you should've condemned to Hades. Holly gets all up in Naomi's grill when she learns Naomi got the internship. She gives Naomi a stare that would melt Frosty the Snowman. Naomi/Holly would be great friends. I hope this rivalry doesn't last allllllllllll year. What am I saying? These writers drag out everything so they'll hate each other twice as hard during New Year's and find a new problem come Easter.

Just Dumb comes to bother Adrianna about Dixon's music career. Please slap him with some tinsel, Ade. Dixon tells her to listen to his track. You know what I'm saying? Yeahhhh, so I don't think this is gonna win Dixon any new fans except Ade. That was pretty awful. At least Tristan can sing. But this just confirmed that I could give a candy cane about his music career.

Silver's looking at Annie's bad checks when Liam waltzes in and asks where she is. Silver doesn't even act shocked that her best friend was a hooker. This scene is mondo boring. Actually it's like Nilver when it's two judgemental people in the room.

A time when Annie should be arrested #10. This chick must be made of Teflon. I bet she could choke a puppy and get away with it. But it was myyyyyyy puppy. If Jeremy bought it legally, that's all that matters, man. I can't stand her or Silver in this episode. Naomi and Ade are snapping at their boyfriends. I'd hate to be a 90210 guy this time of year. You get punched, lied to, or yelled at. Continuing in this tradition, Annie breaks into Jeremy's house. He catches "the golddigger" and Annie locks herself in the room. By the way, Dixon's digs look way better than his, so he can't be that rich. Yeah, Annie, you sold the necklace so Dixon could go to school? But he's not in school, is he? Greeeeat reason.
Annie's inheritance fell flat for me. They just had Jeremy drop the B-bomb when it could've been more intriguing if they both cared about Marla. And I still don't see why she deserves the money. Whatever. Annie's storylines are never that great save for the hooking. Please get antsy and go back to hooking, Annie. I'll give you a twenty.

Daaaaaaang, they tore Navid up. He looks pretty bad. Kat Lady is keeping vigil and checking her Smartphone to see if Miracle on 34th Street is airing tomorrow. Navid winces when he finds out it's not the Mara Wilson version that's playing. Kat Lady decides it's the right time to tell him Santa's "not real" but she can't ruin Navid's idealistic belief that he's real and that Silver will come to him. Silver shows up suddenly though she leaves when Kat Lady gets too close to Navid. She's going to hit him upside the head with jingle bells next time she shows up to her house that Navid won't leave. Navid says he cares about Silver more....cause she's the man.

I had to laugh at this notion that Adrianna hates working at the bar. She's more smiley there than anywhere else and she's supported there as well. It's probably the best thing that's happened to her since her fame flamed out. Jessica Lowndes is great here. I'm not sure why they give her more dialogue than Tristan but it works. I'm anxious to see where Adrianna's desires take her but not anxious about the music. Might have to use that FF button. So in the future, Adrianna will be visited by the ghosts of Javier, the hobo, and Marla, three dead people that carry over into the next season and beyond. I'm going to guess Just Dumb is next. He'll swallow an ornament that he thought was rock candy.

Silver's hot for Teach after seeing Navid's bruised face. She wants to be a stepmom, especially if it means a movie deal a la Julia Roberts. She saw how it worked out for Annie copying Julia and she's gonna do the same. Hot Teacher and Silver to go in and devour Santa's milk and cookies. His daughter will open her gifts tomorrow to find...the Bratz dolls Navid wanted. Merry Christmas Shirazi! Feliz Navid-ad! Feliz Navid-ad! I want to wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of the parking lot......

Naomi goes to surprise Austin with a balloon he can bat like a cat, and naughty copier images. The copier and Naomi have gotten realllllllllly close. So are Holly/Austin. That cheating piece of cow cud. I knew he'd do something stupid because he is that stupid. Holly probably took off his shirt for him. I bet Naomi wishes more than anything that she'd find Max under her tree. Kiss that mistletoe-hanging hayseed good-bye, chica.

Liam flies off to find Annie, passing his Abs-Man billboards on the way and waving to see if they wave back. Well, he gets hit by a car and Annie tells him she loves him via voice-mail. Brutal!
Anndddddd.....One voicemail that Liam didn't hear, and that's our cliffhanger. Liam lying on the road and VD chick calling the cops. Liam's dreaming of sugar plums and Vinnie as the music plays out.

I was pretty much bored and I didn't really like most of the characters in this one. I know holidays can make you stressed and moody, but there were no happy moments to counter it other than Dixon's embarrassing song. I suppose Silver not dumping Hot Teach yet is a plus but they obviously want Nilver back together. Oh, and Austin might be gone. And this Christmas will be...a very special Christmas for me...

Annie's not a hooker anymore . Dixon and Adrianna are going to make music together....DNW. Naomi/Holly/Austin drama...fail. Here's hoping the Christmas ep for s5 is loads better. Here's some gifts for the gang in the mean time.

Liam: a new helmet
Naomi: a plane ticket to Kentucky for Austin
Annie: money
Dixon: chocolate and the story of Milli Vanilli
Adrianna: a plot
Navid: cotton swabs and Band-Aids
Silver: gift card for clothes
Ivy: Raj's phone number
Raj: Ivy's phone number
Vinnie: Liam's phone number
Bree: money

C - for the episode. Stuff happened but not any stuff I particularly enjoyed. Will Liam live? I don't know....will Lady Gaga wear an outrageous outfit in 2012? Exactly.


Navid got beat by mobster elves, to get gifts Annie and Bree take care of themselves, and when Liam got hit did he hear jingle bells? Clark + copier = equal true love.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas boardies!

heartlines

Imagine if he didn't live

Chastidy

Would you believe I only watched the episode now?

Oh Annie, I still don't agree with the whole inheritance thing but looks like she'll be getting away with it so no point in dwelling. I'm also not really getting how Annie is such a victim in what is essentially her own mess. Patrick was right, nobody asked her to go to him and hook. Then there's the whole inheritance sage, she's just so greedy.

Poor Naomi, it never works out for her although given the way she was treating Austin, I'm not surprised. Still I'm disappointed, I really liked Austin ... I felt a bit sorry for Holly but I don't think it fair she blames Naomi for everything. She's brought more then half it on herself.

The Dixon song was pure cringe! So not looking forward to the collaborations.

Poor Navid's face .

Mayberry

I think the inheritance annoys me more than the hit and run now. I guess because I had more expectations for the inheritance/hooker plot. Oh well.

Chastidy

Yeah at this stage the inheritance has overtaken the hit and run she just never learns, although I guess why would she when there's never any consequences.

Alexa

loved this episode but it was christmas themed so that's expected.

so happy that annie/liam are being brought back up again, finally. it was about time. the beginning of season 4 was the hardest to get through as a lannie fan. the kiss scene

i love bree a lot, i wish they had made her a regular. she actually had more chemistry with liam then any of his other side chicks.

i really like adrianna this season. she is so much better as a vulnerable/nice adrianna. and i like her bringing up her daughter again finally.

this navid/amal storyline is just dragging and dragging, i am so over it!

also so so so so over naomi and austin. they are just a train wreck from start to finish. naomi really shouldn't feel bad for holly, holly was a complete witch to naomi for so long so whatever. and then she helps austin cheat? what a horrid woman.

dixons song was terrible.

annie stealing the necklace was bad ass!

Chastidy

Adrianna was so cartoonish last season it was nice to see her act normal for a change this season. Her friendship with Liam was one of my favourite things.