Donna K.

I hope that we have another great episode with Nate.


Donna

Jade Lizabetta Lautner

^ I am with you there.

Artemis

Hey, Donna. Can you change the TITLE when you put in a new episode? If you aren't sure how, PM me.

I want a political storyline for Natie! I hope this woman will help him get there.

We have to meet more family of Louis'? Eh...

Donna K.

Jackie, I did it. I forgot to before.

I would to see Nate in a political storyline. I hope that something goes right for him.

I know how you feel about the meeting Louis' family members.


Donna

Artemis

Thanks, Donna!

I do hope this storyline works for Nate. He deserves it so much!

Donna K.

You're welcome, Jackie.

We can hope that the storyline works for Nate, you're right, he does deserve it so much, so very much.


Donna

Jade Lizabetta Lautner

Tonight's episode will be interesting, I can't wait to see what happens.

sommerregen

I'm really curious to see what happens! But if he gets played again by that woman, it would suck so much. :/

Jade Lizabetta Lautner

^ It really would.

Donna K.

Watching the episode now. Will come back later with my thoughts.


Donna

Jade Lizabetta Lautner

Tonight's episode was great. I am glad that Blair finally came out with the fact that she is pregnant. I wonder how Chuck will take it. Nate and Diana, whoa, hot. I hope that the truth about Charlie/Ivy comes out eventually.

I can't wait for next week now.

Artemis

Gossip Girl 5x02

Blair and Dorota are at the doctors. So cute. But, Blair, come on now. I love your crazy, but this is too obvious. Thank god Dorota knew in a second because. Come on. Also love that Dorota said Eleanor was like a mother last year, and now saying she and B are sisters. Upon Blair’s face… cousins. Very distant cousins. Oh, hey, guys. Remember those Dorota webisodes where she and Vanya (I MISS YOU) met? And Dorota was a Polish countess? I miss it. Bring it back!

Over at The Empire, Natie having issues. Naturally, because Chuck is so zoned out. Or, so Nate says, because he can’t stop thinking about that o cougar hottie. Anne is referenced five billion time tonight, with no appearance. *shakes head* And Chuck mention’s Nate’s Freudian issues for the millionth time in five years. Consistency! Or jut irony that Chuck is constantly mentioning Nate’s mommy’s issues when, HELLO. That’s probably why CN love each other so much.

Also, I spy with my little eye: Chuck Bass in PINK! ♥ Why is he so hot? *swoon*

Vanessa really does get more play off the show than on. Dan is too busy trying figure out how to scheme instead of burning the bacon. Come on, man! Daddy just wants to sit down as bros and eat hot waffles. Why are you denying the man?!?!

And for my weekly dose of van der Bass: Serena and Dan on the phone. Which I did enjoy. They totally sounded like exes slash stepsiblings. Dan called SERENA for scheming help. ROTFLMAO. Naturally, Serena isn’t even going to pretend to have a clue. Tells him to go call her brother. Charlie Trout knows all! ♥♥♥

Ivy. DNW.

Blair and Louis. Enter Beatrice. Blair smells the perfume and nearly hurls on the spot. So, wait. Suddenly Blair’s got morning sickness/nausea? When did this happen? It’s been like a week. Is it that sudden? Especially if she’s like two months pregnant? WTF?

Serena is staying. Ivy wet herself. And if she wasn’t staying this season, I may have liked her for trying to get out of it. PLEASE LEAVE. DNW!

Beatrice has moved the flight to the night. Wants to spend time with Blair. Being sisters who share secrets. And at this point, Blair goes to hurl. Because Beatrice’s sugar and spice and everything nice is gross. Trying too hard to be mean-who-is-nice.

Serena wants Charlie to live together. Ivy is trying to subtly get out of it. But this is Serena. No compute. I just want to strangle Serena. SHUT UP! LET HER GO! Because, seriously, everything I loved about her last week is gone (except SC). Stop pushing Charlie. Ivy no want this. I AGREE. LEAVE HER ALONE!

Holy hell. Dan finds Chuck in an ally. *drool* He’s getting beat up on purpose, but he looks SO HOT! Dan’s all WTF. Oh, banter, I MISS THEE! ♥♥♥

Nate, are you making pot brownies?

“I’m not Serena, Humphrey. I don’t need saving.”

Threesome in the kitchen over brownies! Yes, please! YUM!

Nate: “I was going to ask you how your summer’s going, but seeing you with Chuck, the answer’s probably weird.” == back off from my man!

Dan tells Nate about the fight and another bruise.

“Hey, I’m gonna call a doctor to check on your bruises, okay?” And OMG! THE TONE! Nate’s BORED with this. This is like, eh, whatever. And Chuck’s all “Excellent.” Whatever. SO DOMESTIC. He baked for his boyfriend! <3 You know why this doesn’t surprise Nate? Because Natie has seen the bruises when sleeping with Chuck!

Blair and Beatrice. I really don’t care. Ugh. Blair is my favorite, but some of the scenes totally make me NOT care. Blah blah blah. Whatever. Blair wants to be a fashion icon. The world watches your every move. Blah blah. Beatrice is trying to scare Blair. Blah blah.

Serena wants to buy the place. Ugh. I do not care. DNW. My will. It is gone.

Beatrice and Dorota. I think I missed the first minute. So, Dorota thinks Beatrice knows. Beatrice asks if Blair is bulimic. Dorota is so happy that it’s not if Blair is pregnant that she blurts out YES. I mean no. I mean, it was high school. No worries. And Dorota goes to the kitchen and Beatrice calls her brother.

Nate and Cougar as he goes to his mother’s and she leaves. But she still won’t tell him her name. But they are so cute!

“Did you try to track me down?” “That is borderline adorable.” OMG! IT IS! (But no.) “We had fun, Nate, but I need more than just stamina to keep me interested.” How about pot brownies, Ms. Devil? They is yummy!

Beatrice tells Louis that Blair is bulimic. He already knows. “Bulimia is a serious disease,” she says.

OMG! STOP THE SHOW! Okay, let’s discuss this statement right now. YES IT IS! BUT! This show is treating it like a JOKE. I may not fully understand eating disorders since I don’t have one, but I do have a minor in psychology, so I’d like to think I know a little bit. Anyway, FOR REAL! Blair should be struggling with pregnancy: weight gain and throwing up. No? But the show doesn’t think so. No, she is CURED. GUESS WHAT! YOU CANNOT CURE AN EATING DISORDER. IT DOES NOT MAGICALLY TURN OFF! It’s something you struggle for the rest of your life. Ugh!

More Charlie. Balanced Check. DNC.

Blair and Dorota are in bed. ♥ Louis and Beatrice enter. They have brought the FEAST (oh, clever. ) to NY.

Chuck/Dan! “Back again? What don’t you get? Unlike Serena, when I reject you, I mean it.” OH BANTER. YOU HAVE RETURNED TO THE SHOW! I MISS YOU! MORE CD FOREVER. PLEASE! I BEG YOU! I MISS YOU! I didn’t even bitch about Dan tonight. Do you even know when the last time that was? It’s because of CD! PLEASE!

Dan’s still thinks that Chuck’s trying to get Blair’s attention. And he mentioned that the last person Blair kissed because Louis was him, Dan. Chuck can’t even smirk, that’s how much he feels! Sorry, but we had sex.

Check.Mate.

“That hurt? Wish I could feel it.”

CD♥♥♥

Okay, next rant. Dan’s insistence that Chuck is doing this thrill seeking to get Blair’s attention is PISSING ME OFF. Because it’s not to get Blair back. It’s so clearly not. Because it is it, he would be trying harder to get her to NOTICE. And I don’t think GG has reported the injuries at all. And, BTW, you DO know that it wasn’t Chuck that was at the building in the finale, yes? Russell called that in. Wasn’t anything to do with CHUCK WANTING BLAIR. HELLO! So ****ing get over this, Humphrey.

(BTW, just because I bitched about Dan right now doesn’t mean it actually counts in the scheme of things. JUST GIMME MORE CD!)

Ivy with boyfriend. Let’s go to Portland. I WISH!

Blair’s at the feast. Awkward. Do not care. Awkward. More awkward as Beatrice tries to get Blair to eat. Awkward. Please stop.

I did like the question about Blair’s faith. She of mixed. So, Jewish and like Protestant? Because we know she’s not Catholic, and given the UES and wealth, let’s presume non-religious Protestant. BUT! She loves confessions. OMG! 1x08 shout out! ♥ (Sadly, no limo flashback accompanied it this time. *sighs*)

Nate got Anne to do the interview. I just really enjoy and think it’s cute when Nate was holding Diana’s waist. So pretty.

Blair and Dan in the bathroom. Just shut up! She just wants to barf in peace. STOP TRYING TO TALK! We already know about your inability to stop talking. But for once. STOP TALKING! Also, side note. I know nothing about pregnancy. But can you really hold the nausea that long?

And luckily everyone agrees with me.

“No. Now that’s where you’re wrong. Whatever he’s doing isn’t about me. He was the one who told me to marry Louis. And he meant it.”

Also, Dan knows about the bulimia. WTF? How does he know? How does anyone know? Oh, this show needed to stay away from bulimia if they couldn’t do it right. Ugh.

And FML, the recording missed something. I think where Dan and Beatrice find out Blair’s pregnant? Not a clue. UGH!

Serena and Charlie.

Dan finds Chuck. This time, in the middle of getting beat up. Safe word is the only way to end it. Stop. HAHAHA. OMG, I think that’s supposed to be like ironic that THAT is the safe word. I LOVE IT. Marry me, Chuck Bass.

Chuck tells Dan that this is NOT about Blair. He TRULY feels nothing. “Even you don’t irritate me.” And THAT is when Dan FINALLY realizes: It’s not about getting Blair’s attention. Because everything in Dan’s life is to try to irritate Chuck Bass. And it doesn’t work.

And let’s take a moment of silence at this: “Is being dead that much worse than feeling nothing?” Deep.

Nate and Diana. Work for me. Your persuasive skills. Marketing. I need family approval. I would love this. As long as she isn’t just using him and isn’t something evil against the family. I want this real!

Dan, the eternal researcher. Psychological trauma. Like PTSD.

“I could tickle you.” “I’d rather hire someone else to do that.”
a)I never cheat on Nate. Get lost.
Or b) OMG I NEED MORE CD RIGHT NOW!
You know that, for me, I love either option. JUST GIMME MORE BOYS! With Eric gone forever, someone has to fill the gay character. Although, Eric never really filled that role since we never got to see him BEING gay and having a boyfriend. But Dan has ALWAYS been that one. Just make it official.

ANYWAY:

Why do you need my help? My novel is being published. “Forgive me for stating the obvious, but isn’t being published a writer’s goal?” OMG! CHUCK REALLY IS ****ED UP! WHERE IS THE SARCASM ABOUT DAN CAN WRITE?!?!? OMG! Save his soul, Humphrey. (You know how Blair feels about fairy tales. I say KISS! KISS! KISS!!!)

“The return of Charlie Trout.” And Chuck knows that last week, on that yacht, he called it. Naturally. Because last week, when he said books are written about people like him, he was remembering that one time in jail. ♥ And everyone gets to totally remember tonight. (Alas, just like when Blair mentioned loving confessionals and no limo!sex flashback, we also got no jail!kiss flashback. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) “Well, just because I can’t feel anything shouldn’t mean everyone else has to endure humiliation. I’ll help you.” BUT ONLY IF YOU KISS HIM! (And stay away from Nate.)

Ivy tells her boyfriend..I don’t know. They break up. Caring level: -100000.

Beatrice and the… priest? Is he legit? She wants Louis out of Monaco. She wants the crown. OH JOY! MORE EVIL FAMILY TRYING TO RUIN FAMILY. Just ****ing bring back Jack Bass. He’s better at it.

Oopsies. Serena’s job is actually moving to NY. YAY!

Oh, Blair and Dan. Why can’t you just be friends? I would be 100% okay with this. It was cute. Blair’s scared. Oh, and Humphrey, Blair Waldorf can do anything. Remember that one time she willed herself not to be pregnant? POOF! NOT PREGNANT! (And the baby was conceived out of LOVE. DID YOU HEAR THAT. )

So, conclusion: Dan’s the gay best friend. BCD reunited?


Okay, and another tricky one. WHAT IS MY FAVORITE THING OF THE EP? I bet this is even more difficult to figure out than last week’s CNS threesome hug.

(1,947 words)

Jade Lizabetta Lautner

Opps, I will post the next episode later.

Donna K.

Jackie, wow another wonderful review.

I don't like Charlie/Ivy at all. I wish that she would get found out and leave.

Chuck and Dan made the episode for me.

Nate baking? I wouldn't mind having anything he bakes.

I can't wait for the truth to come out about Blair's pregnancy.

The Nate/Diana scene was HOT.

Until next week..


Donna

Artemis

I think it's way too early for new ep up. People are still watching this one. I think it's probably best to wait until at least Saturday before new ep. Just throwing it out there.