|
#271 | |||
Master Fan
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 22,706
|
#42 - 1
__________________
s h e feels like l i f e and she feels like h o m e |
|||
|
#272 | |||
Fan Forum Hero
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 58,246
|
#42 - 2
__________________
You Keep Using that Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means. |
|||
|
#273 | |||
Fan Forum Star
|
#42
__________________
“I am the one thing in life I can control
(Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it, wait for it) I am inimitable I am an original” |
|||
|
#274 | |||
Master Fan
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 22,706
|
With three votes, we must to...
Sperm Bank Jackie [to Kelso]: I care [about what you do with your special men]! Because if there are gonna be any Kelso babies -- well, I want them to be ours. Kelso: You wanna have my children? Jackie: Yeah. If you get rich and don't lose your hair. Because I love you! Kelso: I love you, too. --- Vote for your least favorite! First quote with 3 votes or the most votes after 2 days is voted off --- That 70s Show Season 4 Quotation Survivor! “Kelso’s Career” (4x17) 1. Fez: Guys, look what I got for Big Rhonda. Oh, it's so nice to have a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. Kelso: Yeah, it definitely increases your chances of getting your fun stuff touched. Eric: Well -- [looks down at his crotch] -- sorry, fun stuff! Looks like it's just you and me this year! [Looks up at Donna] Unless… Donna [looking at Eric’s crotch]: Sorry, fun stuff. 2. Fez [holding a heart-shaped box of candies]: Oh, Rhonda's going to love. I just have to not eat them until Valentine’s Day. Hyde [takes the box of candy]: But you love candy. Eric: Some would say it's an un-natural love. 3. Fez: Yes, I do love candy. But I love Rhonda more. Hyde [opens Fez’s box of candy]: Really? Because there's three pieces missing. Fez [takes back the box]: Fine, I love her the same. 4. Kelso: How was work? Jackie [who works at the Cheese Palace in the local mall): I am so exhausted. Eric: Yeah, the commute from Austria must be a real bitch. 5. Jackie: A bus full of old people stopped by the Cheese Palace, and when they saw free samples, all hell broke loose. The good news is -- [removes an envelope from her purse] -- I got paid! Kelso [takes the envelope]: Oh, that's great. Because Valentine’s Day is coming up and I needed you to give me money to tell me whatever foo-foo crap gift you want me to get. Jackie [takes back the envelope]: Michael, I'm not doing that again. Last year I gave you money, and you bought a bag of plastic dinosaurs. Kelso: For you! 6. Eliminated in Round 2 7. Hyde [approaches Fez, whose back it to everyone]: Hey. Fez, how's it going with not eating the candy? Fez [faces Hyde with chocolate covering his mouth]: Fine, thank you. [Eats a chocolate candy from the heart-shaped box.] 8. The Hub. Jackie: Oh, my god, Casey Kelso's here. Donna: What? Oh my god, he is so fine! Jackie: You know, if you marry Casey and I marry Michael, we could be like sisters! Yay! Go talk to him! Donna: Oh, no. Jackie: I wanna go baby shopping with you. Now go! 9. Donna: Oh, my God! Casey. Casey: Hey, Pinciotti. How ya been? Love the jeans. Donna: Really? They're blue! 10. Donna: Um, so what have you, like -- you know -- been up to? Casey: I'm working part-time for the railroad. They leave a lot of stuff unlocked. You need any Cheerios or rebar? Donna: No, I'm good, thanks. 11. Casey: Well, listen, I'll give you a call sometime, but right now I have to see a guy. He's got a leather steering wheel cover. Donna: Oh, yeah, for the Trans Am. Casey: Yeah, I was thinking about using my GI bill for college, but Trans Ams just kick so much ass. Donna: I love the Trans Am. Casey: Everybody does. 12. Donna [to Jackie]: [Casey’s] gonna call me! Jackie: You gave him your number? Donna: Of course I … didn't! Damn it! Jackie: Oh, that's okay. Kelsos never call. They're like dogs. They're cute, but they can't work a phone. 13. Kelso: Hey, Jackie. [Sits between Jackie and Donna at The Hub table.] I thought about what you said, about making money so I can get you a Valentine’s Day gift, right? And then I realized that'd mean a lot more if I gave you something that I crafted with my own two loving hands. [He opens a paper bag and removes a rock painted with the numbers 831. He places the rock on the table.] Jackie: Oh, my, god, it's horrible! Kelso: No, it's an address rock! You put it in your lawn! Happy Valentine’s Day, my love Jackie: Michael, a rock is not a romantic gift, and that's not even my address! Donna: That's my address! That's my dad's address rock! Kelso: No, it isn't! [Grabs rock and runs out of The Hub.] 14. The Formans’ Living Room Eric: Hey, Dad, you want this? [Passes Red the newspaper.] Red: Thanks, son! I love you. Eric: I'm sorry, what? Red: I love you! I really do. Eric: Yeah … [laughs … yeah. [Dashes away from Red and up the stairs.] 15. The Kelsos’ Front Door Kelso [opens the front door from inside the house]: Donna what are you doing at my house? Donna: Nothing. I just thought I'd come by and see what you were up to! Kelso: Oh, you're here to see Casey, aren't you? [Shouting into the house:] Casey, your lover’s here! [To Donna, singing;] You love my brother. You're gonna do it [Casey yanks Kelso away from the door by the hair] Ow! Mom! Donna: Thank you. Casey: No problem. Kelso [from inside the house]: Spaz face! 16. Eliminated in Round 3 17. Eric: Mom, was Dad abducted by aliens or replaced by an identical creature programmed to love? Kitty: Honey, this is breakfast, don't ask me things. 18. Eric: [Dad] told me he loved me. Kitty: Your father? No. Eric: Yeah. Kitty: I think I know what happened! I gave your father an early Valentine’s Day card that said what a wonderful husband and father he is, and it rhymed, and maybe it touched him … It didn't look like it touched him. It's just he got up and got a beer. But maybe deep down … deep, deep, deep down, something woke up. I am so glad he loves you! 19. Eric: But, Mom, this is weird. He's never said that -- ever. I mean, one time I saved him from getting hit by a lumber truck, and I think he was about to say it; but then he said, “Get in the car.” But how am I supposed to handle this? You think I should say it back? … He's gonna hit me. Kitty: Maybe not. 20. The Circle Kelso: I can't believe that Jackie wants me to get a job. I mean, my plan has always been to coast through life on my good looks. I mean, look at me! It's like I was chiseled out of marble! 21. The Circle Eric: Okay, you guys, here it goes. Dad, I love you! I love you, Pop! Poppy. Pappy. … Daddy. No. 22. The Circle Fez [pours chocolate syrup on a chocolate Valentine’s candy]: Oh no. I have to -- I have to stop eating Rhonda's chocolates! [Pops the candy into his mouth.] I'm hopeless! [Drinks directly out of the can of chocolate syrup.] Hyde: Kelso, if you need to make some quick cash, just sell your blood. [To Fez;] And you – [grabs can of chocolate syrup, but Fez maintains his own grip on it] -- yu've had enough of this! Fez: No, I can stop any time I want! 23. The Circle Kelso: I am not selling blood. I mean, there's no way that anything inside of my body is coming out for cash. Eric: Well, that's too bad, Kelso, 'cause I hear there's this clinic in Madison that'll pay you for your, um, “manly donations”. Kelso: Manly donations? No way! They'll pay you for that? Well I'll do it. I'm good at that! 24. Sperm Bank Kelso [filling out a form on a clipboard]: Do I have any serious medical conditions? Puked after Crunch-Berry- eating contest. Receptionist: You know what, I'll just finish that for you. [Takes clipboard.] Kelso: Thank you! 25. Sperm Bank Receptionist: Now, Mr. … Chang, you'll be in Room 2. Some clients prefer a magazine. Would you like one? Kelso: Nah. Farrah was on Carson last night, I should be good to go. 26. Eric: Okay, so I was in the kitchen, and Red came in, and I was gonna tell him I loved him. But, uh, then he said if my hair got any longer, he was gonna buy me a pair of boobs. Hyde: Yeah, you're in a tough spot. But just know I'm here for you … because I love you. 27. Hyde [to Fez]: You know what would make Forman feel better? A piece of that candy Fez: No, no, no. There's only nine left. I will guard them with my life. 28. Kelso: Easiest money ever made. They paid me fifty buck for my underpants navy. Hyde: You mean your corduroy commandos? Fez: Yeah, your team from the inseam? Eric: Your Battlepants Galactica? Hyde: Battlepants Galactica. Nice one. Wow. Eric: It just came to me. Thank you. 29. Kelso: Man, this job is the greatest! It combines all my interests, hobbies, and skills into one money-making endeavor! I'm gonna get Jackie a sweet gift 30. Donna: All right, Kelso, where's your moron brother? He was supposed to meet me at The Hub, and he totally blew me off! Eric: Whoa, a Kelso blew you off? Oh, my God, what a shock! Oh, hey, Colonel Mustard called; he said get a clue. 31. Kelso [to Donna]: You know, if you're mad at Casey, why don't you go yell at him. I'm too tired from working all day to argue. Fez: Oh, to be a working stiff. 32. Kitty: So, Red, you big old softy! Did anything special happen yesterday Red: Special? Oh, let's see. The dentist called with a cancellation, so I went in, and that sadistic son-of-a-bitch found a cavity! Next thing I know, I'm hopped up on drugs and he's taking a jackhammer to my jaw! I spent the rest of the day in a fog. Kitty: Oh, no. Oh, my God. You don't remember what you said to Eric? Red: Kitty, I don't even remember how I got home! 33. Eric: All right, Dad, look -- I've tried to figure out the right words, and then I realized I just gotta say it. So … Kitty: Wait, Eric-- Eric: Mom, please. Dad, I-- Kitty: No, don't! He was drugged! Eric: --love you. Red [angry]: Go to your room! 34. Fez: Rhonda's going to be so disappointed. All that remains is one lonely candy. [Lifts the first layer of the chocolate box, revealing another layer full of chocolates.] Look! More candies! It's a Valentine's Day miracle. Oh, candy, you've got me under your spell! [Begins eating the candies.] 35. Kelso: I couldn't wait until Valentine’s Day, so here. [Gives Jackie a small gift box.] Jackie [opens the box: Oh, my God – Michael, these earrings are gorgeous! Hyde: Big day at the office? Kelso: Yeah, I worked a double shift. 36. Jackie: Wait, wait. You got a job? Michael, I am so proud of you! Kelso: Oh, no. If it wasn't for you pushing me, I would have never realized how good it feels to roll up my sleeves, get a little sweaty, and earn some cash! Jackie: Oh, this is so exciting! I can't wait to go visit you at work! Hyde: That'll speed things up! 37. Jackie: What's [Steven] talking about? Kelso: Oh, I've been selling my love nectar. Jackie: What? Michael, you can't do that! You're hot! Women are gonna want to take your little Kelsos home! Hyde: My God, she's right. Think about it: a world full of Kelsos. Libraries will fall into disrepair. There'd be feathered hair as far as the eye can see. We'll have to put padding on every sharp corner! Kelso: Those sharp corners could be hazardous, man! I mean, come on: it's 1978. Things should be round by now! 38. Eliminated in Round 4 39. Donna: I just think that if you say you're gonna be someplace, that you should be there. Casey: I guess I flaked. I just got this thing where a lot of times I don't show up. I don't know what to do about it. Donna: How about showing up? Casey: I guess I could give that a shot. Donna: So this'll never happen again? Casey: No, I'm pretty sure it'll happen again. But we'll light that firecracker when we come to it. Donna: Fair enough. 40. Donna: I can't believe this. When I got here, I was so mad at you, and I already totally forgave you. Casey: Everybody does. 41. Sperm Bank Receptionist [to Jackie]: I'm sorry, miss, but I can't give it to you. The donor is the only one who has legal rights over the specimen. Jackie: Fine! [To Kelso]: Michael, you get them! You're the only one who has rights over your special men! Kelso: Jackie, what do you care what I do with my special men? Receptionist: Specimen! I said specimen! 42. Eliminated in Round 5 43. Sperm Bank Receptionist [watching Jackie and Kelso make out]: You can't do that here! Kelso: Oh, yeah. She's right. [Grabs key from the front desk.] We'll be in Room 2. 44. The Formans’ Den Eric: Dad. Red: Oh, crap. I was hoping that you wouldn't find me back here. Eric: Well that's a good icebreaker. 45. Eric: Look, about the love incident-- Red: All right, stop right there. There are only a few times in life when it's acceptable for a man to use that phrase: when he's drunk, when he's dying, or when he's in big trouble and that's the only way out -- which usually means he's drunk. Eric: Other than that? Red: Other than that it's just a given. Eric: Hey, you just kinda told me-- Red: No, I didn't. Eric: Yes, you did. Red: Well, I'm drunk. Clearly I'm drunk. Eric: Daddy, be my Valentine! Red: Do I have to hit you? Go to your room! 46. Eliminated in Round 1 47. Eric: Kelso, get that nasty bag of genetics out of my basement. Kelso: This bag? [Tosses paper bag onto the couch, and everyone leaps away.] Burn! It's just a big bag of candy! Fez: Candy? What kind of candy? __________________
s h e feels like l i f e and she feels like h o m e |
|||
|
#275 | |||
Fan Forum Hero
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 58,246
|
#43 -1
__________________
You Keep Using that Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means. |
|||
|
#276 | |||
Master Fan
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 22,706
|
#43 -2
__________________
s h e feels like l i f e and she feels like h o m e |
|||
|
#277 | |||
Fan Forum Star
|
#43
__________________
“I am the one thing in life I can control
(Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it, wait for it) I am inimitable I am an original” |
|||
|
#278 | |||
Master Fan
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 22,706
|
With three votes, we must to...
Sperm Bank Receptionist [watching Jackie and Kelso make out]: You can't do that here! Kelso: Oh, yeah. She's right. [Grabs key from the front desk.] We'll be in Room 2. --- Vote for your least favorite! First quote with 3 votes or the most votes after 2 days is voted off --- That 70s Show Season 4 Quotation Survivor! “Kelso’s Career” (4x17) 1. Fez: Guys, look what I got for Big Rhonda. Oh, it's so nice to have a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. Kelso: Yeah, it definitely increases your chances of getting your fun stuff touched. Eric: Well -- [looks down at his crotch] -- sorry, fun stuff! Looks like it's just you and me this year! [Looks up at Donna] Unless… Donna [looking at Eric’s crotch]: Sorry, fun stuff. 2. Fez [holding a heart-shaped box of candies]: Oh, Rhonda's going to love. I just have to not eat them until Valentine’s Day. Hyde [takes the box of candy]: But you love candy. Eric: Some would say it's an un-natural love. 3. Fez: Yes, I do love candy. But I love Rhonda more. Hyde [opens Fez’s box of candy]: Really? Because there's three pieces missing. Fez [takes back the box]: Fine, I love her the same. 4. Kelso: How was work? Jackie [who works at the Cheese Palace in the local mall): I am so exhausted. Eric: Yeah, the commute from Austria must be a real bitch. 5. Jackie: A bus full of old people stopped by the Cheese Palace, and when they saw free samples, all hell broke loose. The good news is -- [removes an envelope from her purse] -- I got paid! Kelso [takes the envelope]: Oh, that's great. Because Valentine’s Day is coming up and I needed you to give me money to tell me whatever foo-foo crap gift you want me to get. Jackie [takes back the envelope]: Michael, I'm not doing that again. Last year I gave you money, and you bought a bag of plastic dinosaurs. Kelso: For you! 6. Eliminated in Round 2 7. Hyde [approaches Fez, whose back it to everyone]: Hey. Fez, how's it going with not eating the candy? Fez [faces Hyde with chocolate covering his mouth]: Fine, thank you. [Eats a chocolate candy from the heart-shaped box.] 8. The Hub. Jackie: Oh, my god, Casey Kelso's here. Donna: What? Oh my god, he is so fine! Jackie: You know, if you marry Casey and I marry Michael, we could be like sisters! Yay! Go talk to him! Donna: Oh, no. Jackie: I wanna go baby shopping with you. Now go! 9. Donna: Oh, my God! Casey. Casey: Hey, Pinciotti. How ya been? Love the jeans. Donna: Really? They're blue! 10. Donna: Um, so what have you, like -- you know -- been up to? Casey: I'm working part-time for the railroad. They leave a lot of stuff unlocked. You need any Cheerios or rebar? Donna: No, I'm good, thanks. 11. Casey: Well, listen, I'll give you a call sometime, but right now I have to see a guy. He's got a leather steering wheel cover. Donna: Oh, yeah, for the Trans Am. Casey: Yeah, I was thinking about using my GI bill for college, but Trans Ams just kick so much ass. Donna: I love the Trans Am. Casey: Everybody does. 12. Donna [to Jackie]: [Casey’s] gonna call me! Jackie: You gave him your number? Donna: Of course I … didn't! Damn it! Jackie: Oh, that's okay. Kelsos never call. They're like dogs. They're cute, but they can't work a phone. 13. Kelso: Hey, Jackie. [Sits between Jackie and Donna at The Hub table.] I thought about what you said, about making money so I can get you a Valentine’s Day gift, right? And then I realized that'd mean a lot more if I gave you something that I crafted with my own two loving hands. [He opens a paper bag and removes a rock painted with the numbers 831. He places the rock on the table.] Jackie: Oh, my, god, it's horrible! Kelso: No, it's an address rock! You put it in your lawn! Happy Valentine’s Day, my love Jackie: Michael, a rock is not a romantic gift, and that's not even my address! Donna: That's my address! That's my dad's address rock! Kelso: No, it isn't! [Grabs rock and runs out of The Hub.] 14. The Formans’ Living Room Eric: Hey, Dad, you want this? [Passes Red the newspaper.] Red: Thanks, son! I love you. Eric: I'm sorry, what? Red: I love you! I really do. Eric: Yeah … [laughs … yeah. [Dashes away from Red and up the stairs.] 15. The Kelsos’ Front Door Kelso [opens the front door from inside the house]: Donna what are you doing at my house? Donna: Nothing. I just thought I'd come by and see what you were up to! Kelso: Oh, you're here to see Casey, aren't you? [Shouting into the house:] Casey, your lover’s here! [To Donna, singing;] You love my brother. You're gonna do it [Casey yanks Kelso away from the door by the hair] Ow! Mom! Donna: Thank you. Casey: No problem. Kelso [from inside the house]: Spaz face! 16. Eliminated in Round 3 17. Eric: Mom, was Dad abducted by aliens or replaced by an identical creature programmed to love? Kitty: Honey, this is breakfast, don't ask me things. 18. Eric: [Dad] told me he loved me. Kitty: Your father? No. Eric: Yeah. Kitty: I think I know what happened! I gave your father an early Valentine’s Day card that said what a wonderful husband and father he is, and it rhymed, and maybe it touched him … It didn't look like it touched him. It's just he got up and got a beer. But maybe deep down … deep, deep, deep down, something woke up. I am so glad he loves you! 19. Eric: But, Mom, this is weird. He's never said that -- ever. I mean, one time I saved him from getting hit by a lumber truck, and I think he was about to say it; but then he said, “Get in the car.” But how am I supposed to handle this? You think I should say it back? … He's gonna hit me. Kitty: Maybe not. 20. The Circle Kelso: I can't believe that Jackie wants me to get a job. I mean, my plan has always been to coast through life on my good looks. I mean, look at me! It's like I was chiseled out of marble! 21. The Circle Eric: Okay, you guys, here it goes. Dad, I love you! I love you, Pop! Poppy. Pappy. … Daddy. No. 22. The Circle Fez [pours chocolate syrup on a chocolate Valentine’s candy]: Oh no. I have to -- I have to stop eating Rhonda's chocolates! [Pops the candy into his mouth.] I'm hopeless! [Drinks directly out of the can of chocolate syrup.] Hyde: Kelso, if you need to make some quick cash, just sell your blood. [To Fez;] And you – [grabs can of chocolate syrup, but Fez maintains his own grip on it] -- yu've had enough of this! Fez: No, I can stop any time I want! 23. The Circle Kelso: I am not selling blood. I mean, there's no way that anything inside of my body is coming out for cash. Eric: Well, that's too bad, Kelso, 'cause I hear there's this clinic in Madison that'll pay you for your, um, “manly donations”. Kelso: Manly donations? No way! They'll pay you for that? Well I'll do it. I'm good at that! 24. Sperm Bank Kelso [filling out a form on a clipboard]: Do I have any serious medical conditions? Puked after Crunch-Berry- eating contest. Receptionist: You know what, I'll just finish that for you. [Takes clipboard.] Kelso: Thank you! 25. Sperm Bank Receptionist: Now, Mr. … Chang, you'll be in Room 2. Some clients prefer a magazine. Would you like one? Kelso: Nah. Farrah was on Carson last night, I should be good to go. 26. Eric: Okay, so I was in the kitchen, and Red came in, and I was gonna tell him I loved him. But, uh, then he said if my hair got any longer, he was gonna buy me a pair of boobs. Hyde: Yeah, you're in a tough spot. But just know I'm here for you … because I love you. 27. Hyde [to Fez]: You know what would make Forman feel better? A piece of that candy Fez: No, no, no. There's only nine left. I will guard them with my life. 28. Kelso: Easiest money ever made. They paid me fifty buck for my underpants navy. Hyde: You mean your corduroy commandos? Fez: Yeah, your team from the inseam? Eric: Your Battlepants Galactica? Hyde: Battlepants Galactica. Nice one. Wow. Eric: It just came to me. Thank you. 29. Kelso: Man, this job is the greatest! It combines all my interests, hobbies, and skills into one money-making endeavor! I'm gonna get Jackie a sweet gift 30. Donna: All right, Kelso, where's your moron brother? He was supposed to meet me at The Hub, and he totally blew me off! Eric: Whoa, a Kelso blew you off? Oh, my God, what a shock! Oh, hey, Colonel Mustard called; he said get a clue. 31. Kelso [to Donna]: You know, if you're mad at Casey, why don't you go yell at him. I'm too tired from working all day to argue. Fez: Oh, to be a working stiff. 32. Kitty: So, Red, you big old softy! Did anything special happen yesterday Red: Special? Oh, let's see. The dentist called with a cancellation, so I went in, and that sadistic son-of-a-bitch found a cavity! Next thing I know, I'm hopped up on drugs and he's taking a jackhammer to my jaw! I spent the rest of the day in a fog. Kitty: Oh, no. Oh, my God. You don't remember what you said to Eric? Red: Kitty, I don't even remember how I got home! 33. Eric: All right, Dad, look -- I've tried to figure out the right words, and then I realized I just gotta say it. So … Kitty: Wait, Eric-- Eric: Mom, please. Dad, I-- Kitty: No, don't! He was drugged! Eric: --love you. Red [angry]: Go to your room! 34. Fez: Rhonda's going to be so disappointed. All that remains is one lonely candy. [Lifts the first layer of the chocolate box, revealing another layer full of chocolates.] Look! More candies! It's a Valentine's Day miracle. Oh, candy, you've got me under your spell! [Begins eating the candies.] 35. Kelso: I couldn't wait until Valentine’s Day, so here. [Gives Jackie a small gift box.] Jackie [opens the box: Oh, my God – Michael, these earrings are gorgeous! Hyde: Big day at the office? Kelso: Yeah, I worked a double shift. 36. Jackie: Wait, wait. You got a job? Michael, I am so proud of you! Kelso: Oh, no. If it wasn't for you pushing me, I would have never realized how good it feels to roll up my sleeves, get a little sweaty, and earn some cash! Jackie: Oh, this is so exciting! I can't wait to go visit you at work! Hyde: That'll speed things up! 37. Jackie: What's [Steven] talking about? Kelso: Oh, I've been selling my love nectar. Jackie: What? Michael, you can't do that! You're hot! Women are gonna want to take your little Kelsos home! Hyde: My God, she's right. Think about it: a world full of Kelsos. Libraries will fall into disrepair. There'd be feathered hair as far as the eye can see. We'll have to put padding on every sharp corner! Kelso: Those sharp corners could be hazardous, man! I mean, come on: it's 1978. Things should be round by now! 38. Eliminated in Round 4 39. Donna: I just think that if you say you're gonna be someplace, that you should be there. Casey: I guess I flaked. I just got this thing where a lot of times I don't show up. I don't know what to do about it. Donna: How about showing up? Casey: I guess I could give that a shot. Donna: So this'll never happen again? Casey: No, I'm pretty sure it'll happen again. But we'll light that firecracker when we come to it. Donna: Fair enough. 40. Donna: I can't believe this. When I got here, I was so mad at you, and I already totally forgave you. Casey: Everybody does. 41. Sperm Bank Receptionist [to Jackie]: I'm sorry, miss, but I can't give it to you. The donor is the only one who has legal rights over the specimen. Jackie: Fine! [To Kelso]: Michael, you get them! You're the only one who has rights over your special men! Kelso: Jackie, what do you care what I do with my special men? Receptionist: Specimen! I said specimen! 42. Eliminated in Round 5 43. Eliminated in Round 6 44. The Formans’ Den Eric: Dad. Red: Oh, crap. I was hoping that you wouldn't find me back here. Eric: Well, that's a good icebreaker. 45. Eric: Look, about the love incident-- Red: All right, stop right there. There are only a few times in life when it's acceptable for a man to use that phrase: when he's drunk, when he's dying, or when he's in big trouble and that's the only way out -- which usually means he's drunk. Eric: Other than that? Red: Other than that it's just a given. Eric: Hey, you just kinda told me-- Red: No, I didn't. Eric: Yes, you did. Red: Well, I'm drunk. Clearly I'm drunk. Eric: Daddy, be my Valentine! Red: Do I have to hit you? Go to your room! 46. Eliminated in Round 1 47. Eric: Kelso, get that nasty bag of genetics out of my basement. Kelso: This bag? [Tosses paper bag onto the couch, and everyone leaps away.] Burn! It's just a big bag of candy! Fez: Candy? What kind of candy? __________________
s h e feels like l i f e and she feels like h o m e Last edited by MistyMountainHop; 01-19-2021 at 06:59 AM Reason: Fixed my own typo. :) |
|||
|
#279 | |||
Fan Forum Hero
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 58,246
|
#11 - 1
__________________
You Keep Using that Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means. |
|||
|
#280 | |||
Master Fan
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 22,706
|
#11 - 2
__________________
s h e feels like l i f e and she feels like h o m e |
|||
|
#281 | |||
Master Fan
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 22,706
|
With two votes, we must to...
Casey: Well, listen, I'll give you a call sometime, but right now I have to see a guy. He's got a leather steering wheel cover. Donna: Oh, yeah, for the Trans Am. Casey: Yeah, I was thinking about using my GI bill for college, but Trans Ams just kick so much ass. Donna: I love the Trans Am. Casey: Everybody does. --- Vote for your least favorite! First quote with 3 votes or the most votes after 2 days is voted off --- That 70s Show Season 4 Quotation Survivor! “Kelso’s Career” (4x17) 1. Fez: Guys, look what I got for Big Rhonda. Oh, it's so nice to have a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. Kelso: Yeah, it definitely increases your chances of getting your fun stuff touched. Eric: Well -- [looks down at his crotch] -- sorry, fun stuff! Looks like it's just you and me this year! [Looks up at Donna] Unless… Donna [looking at Eric’s crotch]: Sorry, fun stuff. 2. Fez [holding a heart-shaped box of candies]: Oh, Rhonda's going to love. I just have to not eat them until Valentine’s Day. Hyde [takes the box of candy]: But you love candy. Eric: Some would say it's an un-natural love. 3. Fez: Yes, I do love candy. But I love Rhonda more. Hyde [opens Fez’s box of candy]: Really? Because there's three pieces missing. Fez [takes back the box]: Fine, I love her the same. 4. Kelso: How was work? Jackie [who works at the Cheese Palace in the local mall): I am so exhausted. Eric: Yeah, the commute from Austria must be a real bitch. 5. Jackie: A bus full of old people stopped by the Cheese Palace, and when they saw free samples, all hell broke loose. The good news is -- [removes an envelope from her purse] -- I got paid! Kelso [takes the envelope]: Oh, that's great. Because Valentine’s Day is coming up and I needed you to give me money to tell me whatever foo-foo crap gift you want me to get. Jackie [takes back the envelope]: Michael, I'm not doing that again. Last year I gave you money, and you bought a bag of plastic dinosaurs. Kelso: For you! 6. Eliminated in Round 2 7. Hyde [approaches Fez, whose back it to everyone]: Hey. Fez, how's it going with not eating the candy? Fez [faces Hyde with chocolate covering his mouth]: Fine, thank you. [Eats a chocolate candy from the heart-shaped box.] 8. The Hub. Jackie: Oh, my god, Casey Kelso's here. Donna: What? Oh my god, he is so fine! Jackie: You know, if you marry Casey and I marry Michael, we could be like sisters! Yay! Go talk to him! Donna: Oh, no. Jackie: I wanna go baby shopping with you. Now go! 9. Donna: Oh, my God! Casey. Casey: Hey, Pinciotti. How ya been? Love the jeans. Donna: Really? They're blue! 10. Donna: Um, so what have you, like -- you know -- been up to? Casey: I'm working part-time for the railroad. They leave a lot of stuff unlocked. You need any Cheerios or rebar? Donna: No, I'm good, thanks. 11. Eliminated in Round 7 12. Donna [to Jackie]: [Casey’s] gonna call me! Jackie: You gave him your number? Donna: Of course I … didn't! Damn it! Jackie: Oh, that's okay. Kelsos never call. They're like dogs. They're cute, but they can't work a phone. 13. Kelso: Hey, Jackie. [Sits between Jackie and Donna at The Hub table.] I thought about what you said, about making money so I can get you a Valentine’s Day gift, right? And then I realized that'd mean a lot more if I gave you something that I crafted with my own two loving hands. [He opens a paper bag and removes a rock painted with the numbers 831. He places the rock on the table.] Jackie: Oh, my, god, it's horrible! Kelso: No, it's an address rock! You put it in your lawn! Happy Valentine’s Day, my love Jackie: Michael, a rock is not a romantic gift, and that's not even my address! Donna: That's my address! That's my dad's address rock! Kelso: No, it isn't! [Grabs rock and runs out of The Hub.] 14. The Formans’ Living Room Eric: Hey, Dad, you want this? [Passes Red the newspaper.] Red: Thanks, son! I love you. Eric: I'm sorry, what? Red: I love you! I really do. Eric: Yeah … [laughs … yeah. [Dashes away from Red and up the stairs.] 15. The Kelsos’ Front Door Kelso [opens the front door from inside the house]: Donna what are you doing at my house? Donna: Nothing. I just thought I'd come by and see what you were up to! Kelso: Oh, you're here to see Casey, aren't you? [Shouting into the house:] Casey, your lover’s here! [To Donna, singing;] You love my brother. You're gonna do it [Casey yanks Kelso away from the door by the hair] Ow! Mom! Donna: Thank you. Casey: No problem. Kelso [from inside the house]: Spaz face! 16. Eliminated in Round 3 17. Eric: Mom, was Dad abducted by aliens or replaced by an identical creature programmed to love? Kitty: Honey, this is breakfast, don't ask me things. 18. Eric: [Dad] told me he loved me. Kitty: Your father? No. Eric: Yeah. Kitty: I think I know what happened! I gave your father an early Valentine’s Day card that said what a wonderful husband and father he is, and it rhymed, and maybe it touched him … It didn't look like it touched him. It's just he got up and got a beer. But maybe deep down … deep, deep, deep down, something woke up. I am so glad he loves you! 19. Eric: But, Mom, this is weird. He's never said that -- ever. I mean, one time I saved him from getting hit by a lumber truck, and I think he was about to say it; but then he said, “Get in the car.” But how am I supposed to handle this? You think I should say it back? … He's gonna hit me. Kitty: Maybe not. 20. The Circle Kelso: I can't believe that Jackie wants me to get a job. I mean, my plan has always been to coast through life on my good looks. I mean, look at me! It's like I was chiseled out of marble! 21. The Circle Eric: Okay, you guys, here it goes. Dad, I love you! I love you, Pop! Poppy. Pappy. … Daddy. No. 22. The Circle Fez [pours chocolate syrup on a chocolate Valentine’s candy]: Oh no. I have to -- I have to stop eating Rhonda's chocolates! [Pops the candy into his mouth.] I'm hopeless! [Drinks directly out of the can of chocolate syrup.] Hyde: Kelso, if you need to make some quick cash, just sell your blood. [To Fez;] And you – [grabs can of chocolate syrup, but Fez maintains his own grip on it] -- yu've had enough of this! Fez: No, I can stop any time I want! 23. The Circle Kelso: I am not selling blood. I mean, there's no way that anything inside of my body is coming out for cash. Eric: Well, that's too bad, Kelso, 'cause I hear there's this clinic in Madison that'll pay you for your, um, “manly donations”. Kelso: Manly donations? No way! They'll pay you for that? Well I'll do it. I'm good at that! 24. Sperm Bank Kelso [filling out a form on a clipboard]: Do I have any serious medical conditions? Puked after Crunch-Berry- eating contest. Receptionist: You know what, I'll just finish that for you. [Takes clipboard.] Kelso: Thank you! 25. Sperm Bank Receptionist: Now, Mr. … Chang, you'll be in Room 2. Some clients prefer a magazine. Would you like one? Kelso: Nah. Farrah was on Carson last night, I should be good to go. 26. Eric: Okay, so I was in the kitchen, and Red came in, and I was gonna tell him I loved him. But, uh, then he said if my hair got any longer, he was gonna buy me a pair of boobs. Hyde: Yeah, you're in a tough spot. But just know I'm here for you … because I love you. 27. Hyde [to Fez]: You know what would make Forman feel better? A piece of that candy Fez: No, no, no. There's only nine left. I will guard them with my life. 28. Kelso: Easiest money ever made. They paid me fifty buck for my underpants navy. Hyde: You mean your corduroy commandos? Fez: Yeah, your team from the inseam? Eric: Your Battlepants Galactica? Hyde: Battlepants Galactica. Nice one. Wow. Eric: It just came to me. Thank you. 29. Kelso: Man, this job is the greatest! It combines all my interests, hobbies, and skills into one money-making endeavor! I'm gonna get Jackie a sweet gift 30. Donna: All right, Kelso, where's your moron brother? He was supposed to meet me at The Hub, and he totally blew me off! Eric: Whoa, a Kelso blew you off? Oh, my God, what a shock! Oh, hey, Colonel Mustard called; he said get a clue. 31. Kelso [to Donna]: You know, if you're mad at Casey, why don't you go yell at him. I'm too tired from working all day to argue. Fez: Oh, to be a working stiff. 32. Kitty: So, Red, you big old softy! Did anything special happen yesterday Red: Special? Oh, let's see. The dentist called with a cancellation, so I went in, and that sadistic son-of-a-bitch found a cavity! Next thing I know, I'm hopped up on drugs and he's taking a jackhammer to my jaw! I spent the rest of the day in a fog. Kitty: Oh, no. Oh, my God. You don't remember what you said to Eric? Red: Kitty, I don't even remember how I got home! 33. Eric: All right, Dad, look -- I've tried to figure out the right words, and then I realized I just gotta say it. So … Kitty: Wait, Eric-- Eric: Mom, please. Dad, I-- Kitty: No, don't! He was drugged! Eric: --love you. Red [angry]: Go to your room! 34. Fez: Rhonda's going to be so disappointed. All that remains is one lonely candy. [Lifts the first layer of the chocolate box, revealing another layer full of chocolates.] Look! More candies! It's a Valentine's Day miracle. Oh, candy, you've got me under your spell! [Begins eating the candies.] 35. Kelso: I couldn't wait until Valentine’s Day, so here. [Gives Jackie a small gift box.] Jackie [opens the box: Oh, my God – Michael, these earrings are gorgeous! Hyde: Big day at the office? Kelso: Yeah, I worked a double shift. 36. Jackie: Wait, wait. You got a job? Michael, I am so proud of you! Kelso: Oh, no. If it wasn't for you pushing me, I would have never realized how good it feels to roll up my sleeves, get a little sweaty, and earn some cash! Jackie: Oh, this is so exciting! I can't wait to go visit you at work! Hyde: That'll speed things up! 37. Jackie: What's [Steven] talking about? Kelso: Oh, I've been selling my love nectar. Jackie: What? Michael, you can't do that! You're hot! Women are gonna want to take your little Kelsos home! Hyde: My God, she's right. Think about it: a world full of Kelsos. Libraries will fall into disrepair. There'd be feathered hair as far as the eye can see. We'll have to put padding on every sharp corner! Kelso: Those sharp corners could be hazardous, man! I mean, come on: it's 1978. Things should be round by now! 38. Eliminated in Round 4 39. Donna: I just think that if you say you're gonna be someplace, that you should be there. Casey: I guess I flaked. I just got this thing where a lot of times I don't show up. I don't know what to do about it. Donna: How about showing up? Casey: I guess I could give that a shot. Donna: So this'll never happen again? Casey: No, I'm pretty sure it'll happen again. But we'll light that firecracker when we come to it. Donna: Fair enough. 40. Donna: I can't believe this. When I got here, I was so mad at you, and I already totally forgave you. Casey: Everybody does. 41. Sperm Bank Receptionist [to Jackie]: I'm sorry, miss, but I can't give it to you. The donor is the only one who has legal rights over the specimen. Jackie: Fine! [To Kelso]: Michael, you get them! You're the only one who has rights over your special men! Kelso: Jackie, what do you care what I do with my special men? Receptionist: Specimen! I said specimen! 42. Eliminated in Round 5 43. Eliminated in Round 6 44. The Formans’ Den Eric: Dad. Red: Oh, crap. I was hoping that you wouldn't find me back here. Eric: Well, that's a good icebreaker. 45. Eric: Look, about the love incident-- Red: All right, stop right there. There are only a few times in life when it's acceptable for a man to use that phrase: when he's drunk, when he's dying, or when he's in big trouble and that's the only way out -- which usually means he's drunk. Eric: Other than that? Red: Other than that it's just a given. Eric: Hey, you just kinda told me-- Red: No, I didn't. Eric: Yes, you did. Red: Well, I'm drunk. Clearly I'm drunk. Eric: Daddy, be my Valentine! Red: Do I have to hit you? Go to your room! 46. Eliminated in Round 1 47. Eric: Kelso, get that nasty bag of genetics out of my basement. Kelso: This bag? [Tosses paper bag onto the couch, and everyone leaps away.] Burn! It's just a big bag of candy! Fez: Candy? What kind of candy? __________________
s h e feels like l i f e and she feels like h o m e |
|||
|
#282 | |||
Fan Forum Hero
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 58,246
|
Lulu, you can make the first vote if you like.
__________________
You Keep Using that Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means. |
|||
|
#283 | |||
Master Fan
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 22,706
|
Thank you!
#47 - 1 __________________
s h e feels like l i f e and she feels like h o m e |
|||
|
#284 | |||
Fan Forum Hero
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 58,246
|
#47 - 2
__________________
You Keep Using that Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means. |
|||
|
#285 | |||
Fan Forum Star
|
#47
__________________
“I am the one thing in life I can control
(Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it, wait for it) I am inimitable I am an original” |
|||
Bookmarks |
Tags |
survivor , that '70s show |
Forum Affiliates | |
Thread Tools | |
|