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Old 08-17-2018, 09:11 AM
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T7S Survivor Thread #30: Season Four Quotation Survivor -- 4x10 “Red & Stacy"

With two votes each, we must to...

DONNA: So, you still mad?
ERIC: No. No reason to be mad. Your story is just a pathetic attempt to rewrite history and make yourself look good. I'm pretty sure everyone's gonna know who the dillhole is here.
DONNA: Eric, it's just a story. No one's gonna think anybody's a dillhole.
GIRLS [who just entered The Hub]: Cat killer! Bastard! Porn freak!
DONNA: Okay, they could be talking about anybody.
HYDE: Hey, we're all porn-freak bastards, but he's the only one who killed a cat.

AND

DEREK: Please, Wanda, you don't have to boil me alive. Killing your cat was just a horrible accident.
WANDA: I know, but I'm a witch.
DEREK: Dear God, why is a nice, sensitive guy like me dating a lying, manipulative witch like you?
WANDA: Well, maybe it's because even witches have itches.

[She throws off her clothes and show a lacy gown.

DEREK: All is forgiven!

[Back in the Formans’ basement, Fez and Eric are sitting on the couch. Eric crumbles a piece of paper.]

ERIC: God, why do all my stories end like that?

---

Vote for your least favorite! First quote with 3 votes or the most votes after 2 days is voted off

---

That 70s Show Season 4 Quote Survivor!

408 “Donna’s Story”

1.
Eliminated in Round 2

2.
Eliminated in Round 6

3.
Eliminated in Round 7

4.
ERIC: I can't believe Donna would publish this in the school paper.
FEZ: I know. This could be in Reader's Digest. It's that good.
ERIC: Oh, this is the worst short story by an ex-girlfriend in a school newspaper ever.

5.
HYDE: Well, if it isn't Playboy-reading, panty-loving, cat-killing Derek.
ERIC: I know. How could Donna write this?
FEZ: Why are you upset? It's this Derek guy who really gets the shaft.
ERIC: Fez, I am Derek.
FEZ: Everything always has to be about you.

6.
Eliminated in Round 8

7.
KITTY: Come on, Red. Bob really wants us to meet his new lady friend.
RED: Now think about it, Kitty. She likes Bob. I have a hard time believing this woman even exists. We're gonna get over there; Bob's gonna be sitting in a rocker with a lady's wig on: ''You look lovely tonight, Bob.'' ''So do you, Bob.''
KITTY: You've been working on that all day, haven't you?
RED: Yeah.

8.
BOB: Red, Kitty, I'd like you to meet a very special lady: Joanne.
KITTY: Well, Joanne, it is so nice to meet you. Right, Red?
RED: We can't stay long.
JOANNE: Ah, Red. Bob warned me you can be a pain in the ass.

9.
JOANNE: Well, I'll tell you what. We'll just have dinner, and if it turns out you don't like me, we'll never invite you over again.
RED: Really? I like you already.

10.
RED: Well, let's get this barbecue started. Bob, grab that meat.
JOANNE: Oh, I got it, Red. Why don't you fellas make a salad?
RED: Salad. Oh, you're serious. No, see, Bob and I do the grilling.
JOANNE: Not this time. Kitty, you wanna give me a hand?
KITTY: Well, I'd love to.
RED: Oh, I don't think … but, Kitty, you might set your lovely hair on fire.
KITTY: Well, it can't be that hard. You do it.

11.
RED: Bob, what the hell's goin' on here?
BOB: Look, Red, I really like this woman; so please, for today, just shut it.
RED: Shut it? Good God, Bob! Is she teaching you to stand up for yourself?
BOB: Yes.
RED: Well, cut it out!

12.
Eliminated in Round 3

13.
Eliminated in Round 1

14.
DEREK: Begone, Sir Bonkers.
WANDA: Derek, look what I found under your bed: lewd renderings of naked serving wenches. Did you commission these?
DEREK: So what if I did? I have needs, woman. Now, ready thyself. On this night … we fornicate.

15.
DONNA: Okay, well, maybe there are some similarities [between Derek and Eric]. But that's what writers do. I mean, we take stuff from our lives.
ERIC: Yeah, but you made me mean all the time, and that's mean.
DONNA: Okay, maybe I exaggerated some stuff 'cause, you know, I'm writing this for stupid high school girls.
JACKIE [coming in with the school paper]: Oh, my God! Great story!

16.
JACKIE: Michael, Steven just told me that instead of buying me a dress, you spent my fifty dollars on this stupid machine.
HYDE: Jackie, I did not. … Oh, yeah, I did.
KELSO: Jackie, listen. There's an old saying: You buy a girl a dress, and she looks pretty for one night. But you buy her boyfriend a pinball machine, and she looks pretty for life.
JACKIE: Okay, there's another old saying, Michael: You're dumb as dirt.
ERIC: That's true. That was in the yearbook.

17.
Eliminated in Round 9 -- TIE

18.
ERIC: This school obviously needs to hear the Eric Forman version of things, a.k.a. the truth. So I'm gonna write my own story. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I'm throwing down the gauntlet, baby.
DONNA: Really? Okay, smarty. What's a gauntlet?
ERIC: A gauntlet? What's a gauntlet? What's a gauntlet? I don't know, but it's down, lady.

19.
BOB: Boy, this chicken's delish. What a chef. You really know your way around a grill, Joanne.
RED: Mine's dry.
KITTY: No, it isn't. It's tender and delicious.
RED: Maybe if I chewed it with some water.
JOANNE: Well, there's the hose.
RED: I don't like her anymore.

20.
RED: Kitty, I'm chopping vegetables. Bob's telling me to shut it. You're over there grilling with Susan B. damn Anthony.
KITTY: Well, fine, Red. If it bothers you, we can invite them over, and you can do the grilling. But for now, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just shut it.
RED: If one more person tells me to shut it--
KITTY: What? You might actually shut it?

21.
Eliminated in Round 9 -- TIE

22.
KELSO: All right. I know what the problem is here. This [pinball machine] has been here for so long that people have forgotten about it. I just need to advertise. So, Jackie, put on a bikini and stand in front of the machine.
JACKIE: Michael, I am not wearing a bikini in here. It would cause a riot.
KELSO: Okay, what if I just put up flyers with a picture of you in a bikini?
JACKIE: Yeah, okay. I mean, it'll still draw a crowd but at least they'll remain orderly.

23.
Eliminated in Round 4

24.
DONNA: Eric, you just wrote this to hurt me.
ERIC: What? I did not! And, hey, so did you.
DONNA: Look, when I wrote my story, I just sat down, and that's what came out. I didn't, like, plan it or anything. And besides … no, you know what? I don't have to explain myself to you.

[Donna leaves.

FEZ: Okay, I'd like someone to explain it to me.
HYDE: Well, that's easy, Fez. See, Donna -- as an artist -- wrote her story to get some perspective on her life. Forman, as a vindictive ass, wrote his story to be a vindictive ass.
FEZ: Eric, I think you just consummated yourself. See what I did there? Looks easy, but it's not.

25.
Eliminated in Round 5

26.
GIRLS: Hey, Eric, we're sorry we called you a cat-killer, bastard porn-freak.
ERIC: Oh, so, you read my story, huh?
GIRLS: No, we read part two of Donna's story. The ending is so beautiful.
ERIC [looking at the paper the girls gave him]: Part-huh? Beauti-what? [He reads:] “And as Wanda walked away, she knew in her heart she would never stop loving Derek.”
HYDE: Wow, that's good writing. It's emotional, and it screws you.

27.
ERIC: Hey. Hey, so, uh, funny thing. Um, your story had a second part, huh?
DONNA: Yeah, the paper broke it in half 'cause it was too long.
ERIC: Oh. Well, uh, you know, maybe my story has a second part too.
DONNA: Eric, your story ended with, “And he never saw that crazy bitch again.”
ERIC: Well, you know, that was just a prequel to a story entitled, “He Did See That Crazy Bitch Again, and She Was a Delight.”

28.
ERIC: Derek's gonna be fine. He's a smart guy. The wenches love him.
DONNA: Yeah, well, Wanda's gonna do great too.
ERIC: Oh, yeah, sure. She'll get all the wenches she wants. Oh, my God, Donna, there's your story: “Wanda and the Dirty Wenches."
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Last edited by MistyMountainHop; 01-20-2019 at 10:05 PM
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Old 08-18-2018, 11:25 PM
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Old 08-19-2018, 07:35 AM
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Old 08-20-2018, 07:48 AM
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We need more votes.
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Old 08-20-2018, 09:31 PM
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Old 08-21-2018, 06:05 AM
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Old 08-21-2018, 08:29 AM
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With two votes, we must to...

DEREK: Begone, Sir Bonkers.
WANDA: Derek, look what I found under your bed: lewd renderings of naked serving wenches. Did you commission these?
DEREK: So what if I did? I have needs, woman. Now, ready thyself. On this night … we fornicate.

---

Vote for your least favorite! First quote with 3 votes or the most votes after 2 days is voted off

---

That 70s Show Season 4 Quote Survivor!

408 “Donna’s Story”

1.
Eliminated in Round 2

2.
Eliminated in Round 6

3.
Eliminated in Round 7

4.
ERIC: I can't believe Donna would publish this in the school paper.
FEZ: I know. This could be in Reader's Digest. It's that good.
ERIC: Oh, this is the worst short story by an ex-girlfriend in a school newspaper ever.

5.
HYDE: Well, if it isn't Playboy-reading, panty-loving, cat-killing Derek.
ERIC: I know. How could Donna write this?
FEZ: Why are you upset? It's this Derek guy who really gets the shaft.
ERIC: Fez, I am Derek.
FEZ: Everything always has to be about you.

6.
Eliminated in Round 8

7.
KITTY: Come on, Red. Bob really wants us to meet his new lady friend.
RED: Now think about it, Kitty. She likes Bob. I have a hard time believing this woman even exists. We're gonna get over there; Bob's gonna be sitting in a rocker with a lady's wig on: ''You look lovely tonight, Bob.'' ''So do you, Bob.''
KITTY: You've been working on that all day, haven't you?
RED: Yeah.

8.
BOB: Red, Kitty, I'd like you to meet a very special lady: Joanne.
KITTY: Well, Joanne, it is so nice to meet you. Right, Red?
RED: We can't stay long.
JOANNE: Ah, Red. Bob warned me you can be a pain in the ass.

9.
JOANNE: Well, I'll tell you what. We'll just have dinner, and if it turns out you don't like me, we'll never invite you over again.
RED: Really? I like you already.

10.
RED: Well, let's get this barbecue started. Bob, grab that meat.
JOANNE: Oh, I got it, Red. Why don't you fellas make a salad?
RED: Salad. Oh, you're serious. No, see, Bob and I do the grilling.
JOANNE: Not this time. Kitty, you wanna give me a hand?
KITTY: Well, I'd love to.
RED: Oh, I don't think … but, Kitty, you might set your lovely hair on fire.
KITTY: Well, it can't be that hard. You do it.

11.
RED: Bob, what the hell's goin' on here?
BOB: Look, Red, I really like this woman; so please, for today, just shut it.
RED: Shut it? Good God, Bob! Is she teaching you to stand up for yourself?
BOB: Yes.
RED: Well, cut it out!

12.
Eliminated in Round 3

13.
Eliminated in Round 1

14.
Eliminated in Round 10

15.
DONNA: Okay, well, maybe there are some similarities [between Derek and Eric]. But that's what writers do. I mean, we take stuff from our lives.
ERIC: Yeah, but you made me mean all the time, and that's mean.
DONNA: Okay, maybe I exaggerated some stuff 'cause, you know, I'm writing this for stupid high school girls.
JACKIE [coming in with the school paper]: Oh, my God! Great story!

16.
JACKIE: Michael, Steven just told me that instead of buying me a dress, you spent my fifty dollars on this stupid machine.
HYDE: Jackie, I did not. … Oh, yeah, I did.
KELSO: Jackie, listen. There's an old saying: You buy a girl a dress, and she looks pretty for one night. But you buy her boyfriend a pinball machine, and she looks pretty for life.
JACKIE: Okay, there's another old saying, Michael: You're dumb as dirt.
ERIC: That's true. That was in the yearbook.

17.
Eliminated in Round 9 -- TIE

18.
ERIC: This school obviously needs to hear the Eric Forman version of things, a.k.a. the truth. So I'm gonna write my own story. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I'm throwing down the gauntlet, baby.
DONNA: Really? Okay, smarty. What's a gauntlet?
ERIC: A gauntlet? What's a gauntlet? What's a gauntlet? I don't know, but it's down, lady.

19.
BOB: Boy, this chicken's delish. What a chef. You really know your way around a grill, Joanne.
RED: Mine's dry.
KITTY: No, it isn't. It's tender and delicious.
RED: Maybe if I chewed it with some water.
JOANNE: Well, there's the hose.
RED: I don't like her anymore.

20.
RED: Kitty, I'm chopping vegetables. Bob's telling me to shut it. You're over there grilling with Susan B. damn Anthony.
KITTY: Well, fine, Red. If it bothers you, we can invite them over, and you can do the grilling. But for now, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just shut it.
RED: If one more person tells me to shut it--
KITTY: What? You might actually shut it?

21.
Eliminated in Round 9 -- TIE

22.
KELSO: All right. I know what the problem is here. This [pinball machine] has been here for so long that people have forgotten about it. I just need to advertise. So, Jackie, put on a bikini and stand in front of the machine.
JACKIE: Michael, I am not wearing a bikini in here. It would cause a riot.
KELSO: Okay, what if I just put up flyers with a picture of you in a bikini?
JACKIE: Yeah, okay. I mean, it'll still draw a crowd but at least they'll remain orderly.

23.
Eliminated in Round 4

24.
DONNA: Eric, you just wrote this to hurt me.
ERIC: What? I did not! And, hey, so did you.
DONNA: Look, when I wrote my story, I just sat down, and that's what came out. I didn't, like, plan it or anything. And besides … no, you know what? I don't have to explain myself to you.

[Donna leaves.]

FEZ: Okay, I'd like someone to explain it to me.
HYDE: Well, that's easy, Fez. See, Donna -- as an artist -- wrote her story to get some perspective on her life. Forman, as a vindictive ass, wrote his story to be a vindictive ass.
FEZ: Eric, I think you just consummated yourself. See what I did there? Looks easy, but it's not.

25.
Eliminated in Round 5

26.
GIRLS: Hey, Eric, we're sorry we called you a cat-killer, bastard porn-freak.
ERIC: Oh, so, you read my story, huh?
GIRLS: No, we read part two of Donna's story. The ending is so beautiful.
ERIC [looking at the paper the girls gave him]: Part-huh? Beauti-what? [He reads:] “And as Wanda walked away, she knew in her heart she would never stop loving Derek.”
HYDE: Wow, that's good writing. It's emotional, and it screws you.

27.
ERIC: Hey. Hey, so, uh, funny thing. Um, your story had a second part, huh?
DONNA: Yeah, the paper broke it in half 'cause it was too long.
ERIC: Oh. Well, uh, you know, maybe my story has a second part too.
DONNA: Eric, your story ended with, “And he never saw that crazy bitch again.”
ERIC: Well, you know, that was just a prequel to a story entitled, “He Did See That Crazy Bitch Again, and She Was a Delight.”

28.
ERIC: Derek's gonna be fine. He's a smart guy. The wenches love him.
DONNA: Yeah, well, Wanda's gonna do great too.
ERIC: Oh, yeah, sure. She'll get all the wenches she wants. Oh, my God, Donna, there's your story: “Wanda and the Dirty Wenches."
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Last edited by Grazzhopper; 08-22-2018 at 03:40 PM Reason: Should've checked the votes tho, it wasn't a tie. Just a bad edit on my part.
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Old 08-22-2018, 05:53 AM
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Old 08-22-2018, 03:41 PM
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Old 08-25-2018, 03:12 PM
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Old 08-28-2018, 07:42 AM
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With three votes, we must to...

BOB: Red, Kitty, I'd like you to meet a very special lady: Joanne.
KITTY: Well, Joanne, it is so nice to meet you. Right, Red?
RED: We can't stay long.
JOANNE: Ah, Red. Bob warned me you can be a pain in the ass.

---

Vote for your least favorite! First quote with 3 votes or the most votes after 2 days is voted off

---

That 70s Show Season 4 Quote Survivor!

408 “Donna’s Story”

1.
Eliminated in Round 2

2.
Eliminated in Round 6

3.
Eliminated in Round 7

4.
ERIC: I can't believe Donna would publish this in the school paper.
FEZ: I know. This could be in Reader's Digest. It's that good.
ERIC: Oh, this is the worst short story by an ex-girlfriend in a school newspaper ever.

5.
HYDE: Well, if it isn't Playboy-reading, panty-loving, cat-killing Derek.
ERIC: I know. How could Donna write this?
FEZ: Why are you upset? It's this Derek guy who really gets the shaft.
ERIC: Fez, I am Derek.
FEZ: Everything always has to be about you.

6.
Eliminated in Round 8

7.
KITTY: Come on, Red. Bob really wants us to meet his new lady friend.
RED: Now think about it, Kitty. She likes Bob. I have a hard time believing this woman even exists. We're gonna get over there; Bob's gonna be sitting in a rocker with a lady's wig on: ''You look lovely tonight, Bob.'' ''So do you, Bob.''
KITTY: You've been working on that all day, haven't you?
RED: Yeah.

8.
Eliminated in Round 11

9.
JOANNE: Well, I'll tell you what. We'll just have dinner, and if it turns out you don't like me, we'll never invite you over again.
RED: Really? I like you already.

10.
RED: Well, let's get this barbecue started. Bob, grab that meat.
JOANNE: Oh, I got it, Red. Why don't you fellas make a salad?
RED: Salad. Oh, you're serious. No, see, Bob and I do the grilling.
JOANNE: Not this time. Kitty, you wanna give me a hand?
KITTY: Well, I'd love to.
RED: Oh, I don't think … but, Kitty, you might set your lovely hair on fire.
KITTY: Well, it can't be that hard. You do it.

11.
RED: Bob, what the hell's goin' on here?
BOB: Look, Red, I really like this woman; so please, for today, just shut it.
RED: Shut it? Good God, Bob! Is she teaching you to stand up for yourself?
BOB: Yes.
RED: Well, cut it out!

12.
Eliminated in Round 3

13.
Eliminated in Round 1

14.
Eliminated in Round 10

15.
DONNA: Okay, well, maybe there are some similarities [between Derek and Eric]. But that's what writers do. I mean, we take stuff from our lives.
ERIC: Yeah, but you made me mean all the time, and that's mean.
DONNA: Okay, maybe I exaggerated some stuff 'cause, you know, I'm writing this for stupid high school girls.
JACKIE [coming in with the school paper]: Oh, my God! Great story!

16.
JACKIE: Michael, Steven just told me that instead of buying me a dress, you spent my fifty dollars on this stupid machine.
HYDE: Jackie, I did not. … Oh, yeah, I did.
KELSO: Jackie, listen. There's an old saying: You buy a girl a dress, and she looks pretty for one night. But you buy her boyfriend a pinball machine, and she looks pretty for life.
JACKIE: Okay, there's another old saying, Michael: You're dumb as dirt.
ERIC: That's true. That was in the yearbook.

17.
Eliminated in Round 9 -- TIE

18.
ERIC: This school obviously needs to hear the Eric Forman version of things, a.k.a. the truth. So I'm gonna write my own story. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I'm throwing down the gauntlet, baby.
DONNA: Really? Okay, smarty. What's a gauntlet?
ERIC: A gauntlet? What's a gauntlet? What's a gauntlet? I don't know, but it's down, lady.

19.
BOB: Boy, this chicken's delish. What a chef. You really know your way around a grill, Joanne.
RED: Mine's dry.
KITTY: No, it isn't. It's tender and delicious.
RED: Maybe if I chewed it with some water.
JOANNE: Well, there's the hose.
RED: I don't like her anymore.

20.
RED: Kitty, I'm chopping vegetables. Bob's telling me to shut it. You're over there grilling with Susan B. damn Anthony.
KITTY: Well, fine, Red. If it bothers you, we can invite them over, and you can do the grilling. But for now, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just shut it.
RED: If one more person tells me to shut it--
KITTY: What? You might actually shut it?

21.
Eliminated in Round 9 -- TIE

22.
KELSO: All right. I know what the problem is here. This [pinball machine] has been here for so long that people have forgotten about it. I just need to advertise. So, Jackie, put on a bikini and stand in front of the machine.
JACKIE: Michael, I am not wearing a bikini in here. It would cause a riot.
KELSO: Okay, what if I just put up flyers with a picture of you in a bikini?
JACKIE: Yeah, okay. I mean, it'll still draw a crowd but at least they'll remain orderly.

23.
Eliminated in Round 4

24.
DONNA: Eric, you just wrote this to hurt me.
ERIC: What? I did not! And, hey, so did you.
DONNA: Look, when I wrote my story, I just sat down, and that's what came out. I didn't, like, plan it or anything. And besides … no, you know what? I don't have to explain myself to you.

[Donna leaves.]

FEZ: Okay, I'd like someone to explain it to me.
HYDE: Well, that's easy, Fez. See, Donna -- as an artist -- wrote her story to get some perspective on her life. Forman, as a vindictive ass, wrote his story to be a vindictive ass.
FEZ: Eric, I think you just consummated yourself. See what I did there? Looks easy, but it's not.

25.
Eliminated in Round 5

26.
GIRLS: Hey, Eric, we're sorry we called you a cat-killer, bastard porn-freak.
ERIC: Oh, so, you read my story, huh?
GIRLS: No, we read part two of Donna's story. The ending is so beautiful.
ERIC [looking at the paper the girls gave him]: Part-huh? Beauti-what? [He reads:] “And as Wanda walked away, she knew in her heart she would never stop loving Derek.”
HYDE: Wow, that's good writing. It's emotional, and it screws you.

27.
ERIC: Hey. Hey, so, uh, funny thing. Um, your story had a second part, huh?
DONNA: Yeah, the paper broke it in half 'cause it was too long.
ERIC: Oh. Well, uh, you know, maybe my story has a second part too.
DONNA: Eric, your story ended with, “And he never saw that crazy bitch again.”
ERIC: Well, you know, that was just a prequel to a story entitled, “He Did See That Crazy Bitch Again, and She Was a Delight.”

28.
ERIC: Derek's gonna be fine. He's a smart guy. The wenches love him.
DONNA: Yeah, well, Wanda's gonna do great too.
ERIC: Oh, yeah, sure. She'll get all the wenches she wants. Oh, my God, Donna, there's your story: “Wanda and the Dirty Wenches."
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Old 08-28-2018, 08:48 PM
  #12
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What You Think It Means.
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Old 08-30-2018, 12:49 PM
  #13
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#9 - 2
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s h e feels like l i f e and she feels like h o m e
she feels like I don’t have a single reason left to roam

Last edited by Grazzhopper; 09-02-2018 at 09:32 AM
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Old 09-02-2018, 09:33 AM
  #14
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With three votes, we must to...

JOANNE: Well, I'll tell you what. We'll just have dinner, and if it turns out you don't like me, we'll never invite you over again.
RED: Really? I like you already.

---

Vote for your least favorite! First quote with 3 votes or the most votes after 2 days is voted off

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That 70s Show Season 4 Quote Survivor!

408 “Donna’s Story”

1.
Eliminated in Round 2

2.
Eliminated in Round 6

3.
Eliminated in Round 7

4.
ERIC: I can't believe Donna would publish this in the school paper.
FEZ: I know. This could be in Reader's Digest. It's that good.
ERIC: Oh, this is the worst short story by an ex-girlfriend in a school newspaper ever.

5.
HYDE: Well, if it isn't Playboy-reading, panty-loving, cat-killing Derek.
ERIC: I know. How could Donna write this?
FEZ: Why are you upset? It's this Derek guy who really gets the shaft.
ERIC: Fez, I am Derek.
FEZ: Everything always has to be about you.

6.
Eliminated in Round 8

7.
KITTY: Come on, Red. Bob really wants us to meet his new lady friend.
RED: Now think about it, Kitty. She likes Bob. I have a hard time believing this woman even exists. We're gonna get over there; Bob's gonna be sitting in a rocker with a lady's wig on: ''You look lovely tonight, Bob.'' ''So do you, Bob.''
KITTY: You've been working on that all day, haven't you?
RED: Yeah.

8.
Eliminated in Round 11

9.
Eliminated in Round 12

10.
RED: Well, let's get this barbecue started. Bob, grab that meat.
JOANNE: Oh, I got it, Red. Why don't you fellas make a salad?
RED: Salad. Oh, you're serious. No, see, Bob and I do the grilling.
JOANNE: Not this time. Kitty, you wanna give me a hand?
KITTY: Well, I'd love to.
RED: Oh, I don't think … but, Kitty, you might set your lovely hair on fire.
KITTY: Well, it can't be that hard. You do it.

11.
RED: Bob, what the hell's goin' on here?
BOB: Look, Red, I really like this woman; so please, for today, just shut it.
RED: Shut it? Good God, Bob! Is she teaching you to stand up for yourself?
BOB: Yes.
RED: Well, cut it out!

12.
Eliminated in Round 3

13.
Eliminated in Round 1

14.
Eliminated in Round 10

15.
DONNA: Okay, well, maybe there are some similarities [between Derek and Eric]. But that's what writers do. I mean, we take stuff from our lives.
ERIC: Yeah, but you made me mean all the time, and that's mean.
DONNA: Okay, maybe I exaggerated some stuff 'cause, you know, I'm writing this for stupid high school girls.
JACKIE [coming in with the school paper]: Oh, my God! Great story!

16.
JACKIE: Michael, Steven just told me that instead of buying me a dress, you spent my fifty dollars on this stupid machine.
HYDE: Jackie, I did not. … Oh, yeah, I did.
KELSO: Jackie, listen. There's an old saying: You buy a girl a dress, and she looks pretty for one night. But you buy her boyfriend a pinball machine, and she looks pretty for life.
JACKIE: Okay, there's another old saying, Michael: You're dumb as dirt.
ERIC: That's true. That was in the yearbook.

17.
Eliminated in Round 9 -- TIE

18.
ERIC: This school obviously needs to hear the Eric Forman version of things, a.k.a. the truth. So I'm gonna write my own story. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I'm throwing down the gauntlet, baby.
DONNA: Really? Okay, smarty. What's a gauntlet?
ERIC: A gauntlet? What's a gauntlet? What's a gauntlet? I don't know, but it's down, lady.

19.
BOB: Boy, this chicken's delish. What a chef. You really know your way around a grill, Joanne.
RED: Mine's dry.
KITTY: No, it isn't. It's tender and delicious.
RED: Maybe if I chewed it with some water.
JOANNE: Well, there's the hose.
RED: I don't like her anymore.

20.
RED: Kitty, I'm chopping vegetables. Bob's telling me to shut it. You're over there grilling with Susan B. damn Anthony.
KITTY: Well, fine, Red. If it bothers you, we can invite them over, and you can do the grilling. But for now, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just shut it.
RED: If one more person tells me to shut it--
KITTY: What? You might actually shut it?

21.
Eliminated in Round 9 -- TIE

22.
KELSO: All right. I know what the problem is here. This [pinball machine] has been here for so long that people have forgotten about it. I just need to advertise. So, Jackie, put on a bikini and stand in front of the machine.
JACKIE: Michael, I am not wearing a bikini in here. It would cause a riot.
KELSO: Okay, what if I just put up flyers with a picture of you in a bikini?
JACKIE: Yeah, okay. I mean, it'll still draw a crowd but at least they'll remain orderly.

23.
Eliminated in Round 4

24.
DONNA: Eric, you just wrote this to hurt me.
ERIC: What? I did not! And, hey, so did you.
DONNA: Look, when I wrote my story, I just sat down, and that's what came out. I didn't, like, plan it or anything. And besides … no, you know what? I don't have to explain myself to you.

[Donna leaves.]

FEZ: Okay, I'd like someone to explain it to me.
HYDE: Well, that's easy, Fez. See, Donna -- as an artist -- wrote her story to get some perspective on her life. Forman, as a vindictive ass, wrote his story to be a vindictive ass.
FEZ: Eric, I think you just consummated yourself. See what I did there? Looks easy, but it's not.

25.
Eliminated in Round 5

26.
GIRLS: Hey, Eric, we're sorry we called you a cat-killer, bastard porn-freak.
ERIC: Oh, so, you read my story, huh?
GIRLS: No, we read part two of Donna's story. The ending is so beautiful.
ERIC [looking at the paper the girls gave him]: Part-huh? Beauti-what? [He reads:] “And as Wanda walked away, she knew in her heart she would never stop loving Derek.”
HYDE: Wow, that's good writing. It's emotional, and it screws you.

27.
ERIC: Hey. Hey, so, uh, funny thing. Um, your story had a second part, huh?
DONNA: Yeah, the paper broke it in half 'cause it was too long.
ERIC: Oh. Well, uh, you know, maybe my story has a second part too.
DONNA: Eric, your story ended with, “And he never saw that crazy bitch again.”
ERIC: Well, you know, that was just a prequel to a story entitled, “He Did See That Crazy Bitch Again, and She Was a Delight.”

28.
ERIC: Derek's gonna be fine. He's a smart guy. The wenches love him.
DONNA: Yeah, well, Wanda's gonna do great too.
ERIC: Oh, yeah, sure. She'll get all the wenches she wants. Oh, my God, Donna, there's your story: “Wanda and the Dirty Wenches."
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s h e feels like l i f e and she feels like h o m e
she feels like I don’t have a single reason left to roam
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Old 09-02-2018, 08:35 PM
  #15
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#16 - 1
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You Keep Using that Word.
I Do Not Think It Means
What You Think It Means.
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