autumnfoliage24

Her heart was thumping in her chest. But it was a steady, almost comforting kind of rhythm. She felt strangely alive.

Augustine noted from the audience how her eyes were twinkling, her delicate strums against her guitar so oddly soothing to hear. She was just such a natural. Her voice was like nicely smooth...round in a way, like a smooth stone. That was what Olivia's voice sounded like to Augustine.

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying,
"You'll never reach it."

Every step I'm taking
Every move I'm making
Feels lost with no direction
My faith is shaken

But I...
I've got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

The stage lights were a soft periwinkle blue as they weighed hard on Olivia, hot and hard. Olivia's smooth voice wavered as she sang the last sounding note of the verse.

What were those? Tears?

Indeed they were, pricking her eyes.

She suddenly stopped strumming the guitar, her voice muting. She stared blankly at the floor under the burning spotlight, holding her breath.

The audience was holding their breath as they watched her. Why had the beautiful girl stopped? The girl with the smooth, stone-like voice?

"I'm sorry," Olivia spoke aloud into the microphone. Then she laughed nervously at her silliness. "Je suis desolee." She had picked up little French in her time.

The audience did not laugh. The tense sea of people merely stared at her with a glassy gaze, their eyes solid and stiff. They were waiting. Waiting for her.

Olivia took a deep breath. The microphone took it in and projected it across the large room.

"You can do this, Olivia."

She craned her neck over to the side. There was John, standing behind the curtain. His circular eyes were full of hope, encouraging and urging her on.

"You can do this, Olivia," he nodded confidently again.

Olivia gave minor nod and faced the crowd once more. All of those intent eyes were still fixed curiously on her, waiting patiently. Olivia gulped and strummed Opportunity softly.

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
It's always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most
Yeah, just gotta keep going

And I...
I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on

Her voice cracked but she continued.

She had to pursue her dream.

CarmenJessicaLP

Olivia blew on her coffee and frowned into the depths. She sat with her head in her hands, eyes cast down in defeat. Despite Augustine's and John's attempt to offer words of comfort, she maintained a stony silence.

Even though the audience had applauded well after her exit, she couldnt help but think what the crowd had really thought of her, in her eyes she had failed. An audible sigh escaped her lips."I should have been prepared."

Augustine twirled the straw in her drink. "And what if you were well prepared, and your nerves still got to you?", Augustine countered, upon hearing the accusation in Olivia's voice. "The audience loved you.."

"Hey", Oliiva heard John interject, but made no attempt to acknowledege him. "You know what I admired about you up there?" When she Olivia didnt reply he put his fingertips under her chin and lifted her head to look into her eyes. "When things got a little shaky, you didnt bolt or make excuses up there, but bravely you continued to sing. I've known plently of people who've done the opposite, but not you and I think the audience loved you even more for it."

autumnfoliage24

"Thanks John," Olivia benevolently replied. Her heart felt heavy. She didn't agree.

She just wanted to be alone.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," Olivia announced awkwardly. She stood from the table and strode to the tiny bathroom down the hall. She splashed her face with freezing water, trying to reawaken the Olivia inside of her that she knew. Where was she? Where had she fled to?

When she returned to the table, her coffee now chilly, Augustine was no longer there. John was. He was sitting at the table and intently reading a novel.

The feet of the chair scraped the wooden floorboards as Olivia sat down again. She took the cup of coffee in her hand, taking a look at it suspiciously before taking a hesitant sip.

"Are you better?" John asked. His eyes were sympathetic.

"I don't need sympathy, John," Olivia sighed. She stood from the table once more, taking the coffee with her into the next room.

John just followed her there, plopping onto a sofa opposite Olivia's.

"Please," Olivia pleaded sincerely. "Just let me be for now. I need to think."

"About what? Caleb? If it was right leaving him?" John asked.

"How do you know that?" She said it as if it were a statement.

"Listen," John began, avoiding her question. "I just want you to know that I'm here." He leaned forward, towards her.

Olivia buried her face into the cup of coffee as she took a long drink of it, almost draining the cup entirely of substance.

HappySquared

I love round robin writing. I'll read them and see if I can add something.

autumnfoliage24

Okay, thank you Shnicky

CarmenJessicaLP

Olivia stared into the depths of her coffee cup, now drained fully of its contents. Her cup was empty, she wished her head were too. John's knowing smirk loomed before her.

What did he know anyway? Olivia thought, but he had pegged her thoughts completely and she had know idea whether to be mad at herself for even thinking of Caleb or at Augustine for divuluging intimate details of her life, in her case, to a complete stranger. "You should go."

Rectutanly John agreed. "I didnt meant to offend you...I just thought-"

"You don't know anything". Olivia took a breath, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear wanting to gain some measure of control over her emotions.

"Umm..I'm sensing some tension." Thankful for the interruption,Olivia stood as Augustine suddenly appeared before her and John. Augustine looked back and forth between the two of them. "Sexual tension?"Augustine inquired of the two with a raised eyebrow and a hint of a smile.

"Not funny Augustine, can we talk?" A frown upon her face, Olivia pushed past Augustine and towards the nearest exit.

autumnfoliage24

Augustine sighed but nodded and curtly followed Olivia to the small square that was her bedroom. Olivia firmly shut the wooden door, locking John out, and slumped on the tiny bed. She took a bundle of the laced blanket into her hands, fumbling with the matieral to stall time. Olivia gave her sad, sympathetic looks whilst studying her tense face.

"Just tell me," Augustine murmured after a good amount of silence.

Olivia sighed and wiped her teary eyes with the satiny blanket.

"You know you can tell me," Augustine pressed on just a bit further. She regreted doing so when Olivia winced and recoiled slightly on the bed.

"I know I can tell you, Aug. It's just that...John. I'm not ready for another guy...not this soon. No way. And John...he's just not the type of guy I'd go for."

"Why not? He's a great guy!" Augustine was clearly offended and her cheeks colored. "You two would be great together."

"Did you or did you not just hear me?" Olivia snapped too harshly. It was Augustine's turn to shrink back. "It's too soon. Much too soon."

"It's okay, Olivia. You can't hide out forever. You just need to take that last leap."

"No, Aug. I'm far from that last leap," Olivia vowed confidently. She was so sure of it.

"How do you know if you haven't tried?"

"I'm not going with him! I don't want to have anything to do with that guy and I don't care if he hears!" Olivia hollered loudly. She could hear John's heavy footsteps outside of the door. Olivia cursed out to him but he didn't move from his post.

"Well, Caleb's out of the picture anyway, so why not take a chance?" Augustine pushed further.

Olivia's heart screeched to a stop. What? Caleb was out of the picture? Since when?

Tears blurred her vision and she felt the room spin around her.

"No," Olivia found herself defending Caleb in a low but determined mumble. "No. Caleb is still...I still love him. I will always love Caleb."

"I'm confused." Augustine's brow furrowed.

"You know what, Augustine?" Olivia said more boldly. She seemed to realize this as she said it. "I am too. But that's okay. I'll be fine. I have my music and I have Opportunity and I thought I had you...but obviously with the way you tried to push me to John, I don't."

Olivia had stormed out of the room before Augustine could utter a single word. Augustine was racing after her as Olivia darted through the apartment snatching various things of hers and not forgetting Opportunity.

She was out the door in less than a minute, sweltering tears blinding her.

CarmenJessicaLP

The tears flowed freely once Olivia fully escaped the confines of Augustine's apartment. Her anguish, profound.

She could distinctly hear Augustine calling after her,pleading for her return, but her words fell upon deaf ears.

Everything was a blur, and she just needed sometime to herself, space to think and make sense of her thoughts. She walked with a purpose, although unsure of her destination.

Fifteen minutes later she found herself in a park. The beauty of France enveloping her senses. She took out Opportunity and begin to strum a few chords. Music, her one saving grace at the moment did nothing to ease her thoughts. She could only think of Caleb, recalling a time in which she last sang to him; in a park.

She wondered again, if leaving Caleb had been the right decision. Had it been worth it? A few hours ago she had gotten a glimpse into what is was like to exeperience her dream, both success and personal failure, but she wondered how much it mattered now without Caleb.

"Thought I might find you here." Slowly Augustine approached and knelt down beside Olivia, her eyes fixated on the scenery before her. "This place is beautiful isnt it?"

autumnfoliage24

"I guess so," Olivia worded carefully. Her eyes were glued to the floor, but slowly drifted upwards to her "best friend".

"I missed you, you know," Augustine murmured, also obviously choosing her words very carefully. She looked concentrated. "And I guess I just forgot that we haven't seen each other in a while. That we don't know each other as well as we did before. And I weighted everything on the friendship we used to have. I forgot that we both changed, in so many ways. I'm sorry. It's my fault."

Olivia didn't say anything, being her stubborn self.

Good. She was sorry.

CarmenJessicaLP

"Talk to me Liv", Augustine pleaded when she could no longer stand the awkward silence between them.

Olivia sighed, not ready to admit defeat or offer forgiveness, but she could never stay mad at Augustine for too long. "I've missed you too, and maybe we dont know each other the way that we did before, but I know you always have my best interest at heart. Im sorry I flipped out on you."

Augustine only nodded. "Are you happy Olivia?"

Olivia pondered the question for a brief moment, plucking on a few strings of opportunity. It wasnt that simple.

autumnfoliage24

"I can't be thinking about that now, Aug," Olivia muttered. "It's about my goal, and reaching it."

"But what about Caleb?"

"Stop! Stop bringing him into everything!" Olivia sighed, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration.

Augustine sighed herself and rubbed her friend's back.