[Mr. Impatient]

Actually, it was based on a personal experience. In fact, most of it is just a description of what happened. I changed only a couple things to make it "fiction."

Here is something else, totally different:

Invasion

Aliens from the planet Zorthos landed on Earth in late September. Because the inhabitants of Earth were at work or in school when the aliens landed, they were able to begin right away. Carlyph, their leader, said, "Ilantos, Graphthos, Dresthenda, Shothsephenes, and my to daughters, Lantheral and Mosthentis, can gather samples of the soil and rocks while Jesthenos, Prothek and Xentharr accumulate some of the strange and unique plant life growing on this planet, but none of you are to bother the natives, because this is, after all, their planet, and they may not approve of us aliens coming to gather information so as to return later with reinforcements to take over their planet and everything on it, not to mention that they might become hostile toward anyone not native."

Dresthenda led his group in a circle and met the other group of aliens in secrecy. Each alien had his or her own reason to hate Carlyph. Fortunately, these aliens resented the authority represented by their leader. Gradually, they made their way to a school. Heather, a freshman in the high school, was the first one to notice them. Ilantos was staring through the window, trying to figure out what was going on, and assessing the enemy. Just then, Heather looked over, and started screaming! Kerrie, who was sitting beside Heather, turned to face the window in order to see why Heather was screaming. Lantheral was the alien at the window now. Mosthentis stepped up beside her sister, so she could view the humans, too. Now everyone was looking, though entranced.

Only the bell, which signaled the ended of class, broke the spell. Prothek entered the classroom through the wall, and encountered thirty-one screaming humans. Quietly, the other aliens entered the room in the same manner. Reacting quickly, the humans fled through the door of the classroom. Soon, the entire school was in total chaos. The staff seemed to be even more horrified than the students, which only added to the confusion. Undaunted by the screaming, fleeing humans, the aliens continued with their plan.

Very soon, this invasion was going to be over. Without hesitation, the aliens carried out their evil plot. Xentharr dropped his bomb that immediately began releasing a gas, which affected humans, causing paralysis. Young adults, however, were immune to the gas, and, after a bit of effort, managed to capture the aliens, holding them captive while waiting for the adults to recover. Zoos from all over the world made offers to purchase the aliens, and the government tried to secure them for study, but the aliens managed to escape, never to be seen again.

*******************************************************

I wrote that in 1994 as an assignment for school. It is an ABC story. It consists of exactly 26 sentences. The first one starts with A and then each sentence starts with the next letter of the alphabet. It was fun, but is can sometimes be difficult to come up with something that is going to actually make sense.

Also, if you want to count, you can see that the second sentence contains 100 words, which was only included because it was part of the assignment. It is not something I would try to do on a regular basis.

[Silversun]

Hey, cool! ABC sci-fi! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] I didn't actually catch the ABC thing until you explained it. Hee, that is so cool. (Although you cheated a little bit with some of the alien names [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] ) Was it hard to come up with random 'alien' names? I'm really bad at making up new words so I'm always in awe of people who'd just make up random names as they go along.

I've always wanted to write sci-fi. Not 'hard sci-fi', with lots of detail and mechanics and such; but 'soft sci-fi', with emphasis on humanity and ethics and the extent of what science can achieve. Never knew what I should write about, plot-wise, though.

[Mr. Impatient]

Yes, I admit I cheated, but it worked. I got the highest grade in the class. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

I have never really had much trouble coming up with names for places and characters. I seem to have more ideas for names than I have for characters and places to name. [img]smilies/lol.gif[/img] I've even helped a few other people as well.

I don't usually write sci-fi. I prefer fantasy, though you can't really tell that from what I have posted here.

I think I can fix that, though:

For the Love of Death

"This can’t be right," said Death. The next name on his list was Angus of Baxter. Angus was married to Marie, with whom Death had fallen madly in love. Most people believed that Death had no feelings, but the truth was, he had the same feelings as mortals, and he was in love. He also knew that he could never be with Marie, since she was mortal he was, well, Death. He decided that instead of trying to win her, he would do everything in his power to make her happy. That was why he couldn’t take Angus from her.

Death went to Angus, offering to spare his life if he would complete a quest, which Death would set up for him. Angus was suspicious, and let Death know this. Death was in a bind. He decided to tell Angus the truth. Angus was shocked by the news, but agreed to the quest. He was to recover the lost treasure of Boorsten, and deliver it to Death. Only then would his life be spared. Death then told him that he had only three days in which to complete his quest. If he succeeded, then he and Marie would win immortality. Should he fail, though, and the cost would be not only his life, but Marie’s life as well.

Angus accepted the offer and ran to tell his wife. She was in her sewing room, making a new cloak for him. As he entered the room, her beauty struck him. He stood in the doorway and stared at her fiery red hair, which flowed down her back in light curls. She turned to look at him, locking her violet eyes on his own grey eyes. Finally, he spoke:

"Dearest, I must go on a quest. Fear not, for I shall return in three short days."

"Three days is too long for me to be away from you, my love. Therefore," she told him, "I will go with you."

"Alas, my love, you cannot. The trip is too dangerous for someone as fair as you. You would be so much safer if you just remained here," explained Angus.

"But a shall certainly perish if I spend even one day without you. How would I be able to survive for three?" asked Marie.

"All right, you should go with me, then." Angus always caved in to her when she mentioned how much she loved him. They packed a few provisions and left immediately. Death, invisible now, followed them in silence.

By the end of the first day, Angus was glad that he had allowed Marie to accompany him. He had really enjoyed her company on the journey. They finished setting up camp as the last rays of the sun faded from the horizon. After Angus made the fire, Marie cooked their dinner. Angus loved the way she fixed the small dragon wings. After eating, he grew tired. He left Marie to clean up, and went to bed. Death just watched.

The second day was uneventful, but it passed quickly. After dinner, Angus and Marie went into the tent to enjoy each other’s company while, unknown to them, Death kept his silent watch, making sure they were not harmed. They never knew that Death kept several predators from stumbling across them in their tent.

By the time they had reached the mountain where the treasure was kept, it was noon on the third day. They discovered that a three-headed dragon named Klextos guarded the treasure. Each head exhaled a deadly breath: fire, ice, and poisonous fog. Angus left Marie at the base of the mountain and entered the creature’s lair. Klextos had made his nest from the treasure, and was currently sleeping on it. Angus rushed forward and attacked, hitting the dragon with a blow that would have split a human in half. Unfortunately, the scales of this monster were tougher than human skin. Klextos did not even stir. It was as if Angus was not even there.

Death created a sword capable of damaging the mighty beast’s scales and placed it partly beneath the dragon. Angus noticed it and grabbed it. He swung with all his might as the dragon woke up. He managed to sever the head that spewed poisonous gases. In the same swing, he also managed to slice at the ice-head. Klextos was now fully awake, and furious.

Marie entered the lair at this point and hid behind a stalagmite. Klextos breathed fire at Angus, which he deflected with his shield. The reflected fire hit the ice-head, and melted it. Marie screamed. Klextos turned its only remaining head in her direction. It opened its mouth.

"No!" screamed Angus. "Not Marie!" He lunged forward and frantically swung the sword. Before anything could escape the dragon’s mouth, Angus had decapitated the third and final head. Klextos was dead, and the treasure was theirs.

Marie ran to Angus, who embraced her. They looked at the remains of Klextos and then stared at the treasure, which was revealed as the dragon disappeared. Just then, Death appeared. Angus offered him the treasure, which he accepted. As Death smiled, the treasure disappeared and a list appeared in his hand. He removed their names and looked at Marie.

"This was all for you, my love," he said as he lifted Marie’s hand to his lips and kissed it. Then he disappeared, and the couple never saw him again, although he did check on them from time to time.

[Silversun]

Cute story Rob!

Although, if you don't mind me saying, I tend to find that the body of the story could be fleshed out much more. The plot seems to fit a mid-length story better instead of a short one, and I would have liked to see more elaboration overall, with possibly more descriptions about how the characters felt and what they encountered all through the story. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[Mr. Impatient]

Originally posted by Silversun: <STRONG>Cute story Rob! </STRONG>

Thanks! I wrote that when I was still in school.

Originally posted by Silversun: <STRONG>Although, if you don't mind me saying, I tend to find that the body of the story could be fleshed out much more. The plot seems to fit a mid-length story better instead of a short one, and I would have liked to see more elaboration overall, with possibly more descriptions about how the characters felt and what they encountered all through the story. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] </STRONG>

Hmm... You know, I never really thought about it, but I can see where several parts could have been expanded. I originally wrote this as an assignment for school, and had to stay in the length specifications for the assignment. I'll add this to my list of potential writings. Thanks!

[Tina]

Too Late

It was cold. Bitter. She can feel the numbness of her fingers. The wind was blowing her hair in every direction as she walks onto the busy sidewalk. She tries to make her way through the crowd, but it was hard with the wind and people pushing. She wants to get out of here. She needs to, before more wind slaps her in the face.

As she pushes her way free, she turns a corner. A corner with less people. She increases her pace with each step. She can hear her boots tapping against the hard pavement. Gushes of wind bashes her in the face again, causing her to hide her face. She wants to get out of here. She needs to, before more people start taking over this path.

She's almost there. She doesn't see the light on her front porch. She's running, now. Running to get home. Running as fast as she can, not caring if people were in her way or if the wind hits her in the face. She wants to get out of here. She needs to, before it's too late.

She's there. Her heart is racing, her pulse is beating fast. She gasps for breath as she reaches for the door knob. She turns it slightly and gives it a little push. Her eyes search the room from where she stands. Knowing that she was too late.

[Cold-Blooded Piece of Toast]

<STRONG>Cold-Blooded Piece of Toast: Your funeral piece is rather interesting. Not what one would normally think of as the proceedings for a funeral, but interesting nonetheless. Your piece about the girl with the eating disorder is really good, as well. It is easy to "connect" with the girl. And, I like the way you ended it as well. Very well done!</STRONG>

Thank you. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] The funeral piece was a quick job written for a creative writing class. We had about fifteen minutes to write about a funeral and we were supposed to have a large and "interesting" cast of characters. That's why I included everyone and anyone. It was supposed to be from the viewpoint of a former secretary of the deceased with whom he'd had an affair. Just left it incomplete since it was just an exercise.

I liked the piece you had with Death. One usually thinks of Death as a cold and unfeeling being but your story displayed him in a new light.

Gabrielle

[Silversun]

Tina - I liked your short story. Really makes me wonder what it was that she was late for, and all that. Do you have a backstory to it, or do you plan to just leave us in the lurch? [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[Mr. Impatient]

- Tina -, I like the story. It has a real sense of urgency to it.

Although... If you don't mind my saying, you should stick to a single verb tense. Most of the piece is in the present tense, but there are places where you switch to the past tense.

And, I agree with Nicky... Are you gonna explain what your main character was too late for?

Gabrielle, (can I call you Gabrielle?) If you ever decide to expand that funeral scene into a story, I would love to read it! And, thanks for the compliments on For the love of Death.

[Silversun]

I'm thinking of starting a novel soon. It'll be called Something Beautiful and talk about one man's journey to create a true work of art. His friends and acquaintances will be various manifestations of what art should ultimately mean, such as love, truth or beauty. I'm really excited about the story. This is a tiny portion of the prologue:

I wish my paintings expressed more than I am currently able to express. I wish people would look at them and come to understand my intended meanings behind the charcoal and acrylic. I hope I can do it... lay down the truth upon the canvas, touch something that is out of my reach – I want to create a work of art. I want to see God looking out at me through what I have created. I want to create something beautiful.

[Tina]

Here's the second part.

Now she knew she was too late. Too late to do anything. Too late to save a life. She walks slowly. Slowly to the body that was once known to be her daughter.

She bends over. Bends over to see her face. Her rosey cheeks were not so rosey anymore. It was flusted. Flusted as a ghost. With her numbness fingers, she touches her cheeks. She tries to. She couldn't feel them.

She looks up. Who would do this? This cruel thing? She looks down at her face. She knew who it was but wasn't sure. If only she had come earlier, she might of been able to save her. Save the little girl once known to be her daughter.

[Silversun]

Tina - that's so sad! [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] But can I ask what 'flusted' means? [img]smilies/confused.gif[/img]

[girl in a cardigan]

Originally posted by silvercrystal: <STRONG>DevotedFanOfMatt - I like the subject of your piece. It's written really well.</STRONG>

Originally posted by Mr. Impatient: <STRONG>A little feedback: JennPerry: I really like your story. Death is something that is often seen as something that separates people, and the way you used it to bring people together like that was really good.</STRONG>

Thank you both for your wonderful feedback! I really hadn't expected anyone to comment on my little piece. I wrote it while I was bored at work. It has stayed with me though and I'm in the process of turning it into a novel. Thanks again!

[Tina]

Silversun, 'Flusted' is suppose to be 'Flustered'. I was kinda in a hurry when I wrote it because I was at my sister's house and my computer wouldn't work. It a long story. LOL. I don't know when I'll add the next part.

[img]smilies/wave.gif[/img]

[Silversun]

Tina, sorry if I'm missing your point but I still don't get that phrase. What does "flustered cheeks, as flustered as a ghost" mean? I didn't think the word could be used in a context like that and I'm just confused. Are you a native English speaker? [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]