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Bones Quote Masterlist:
Last update: 05/13/2008

Season 1:
Episode 1x01: Pilot (09/13/2005):

What? Do you want me to spit in my hand? We're Scully & Mulder. - Seeley

It's like pornography, you'll know it when you see it. - Seeley

Your suit, for example, will outlast your bones by decades. - Zack

You have a disturbingly steep learning curve. - Daniel

Lenny Kravitz or Vanessa Williams? - Angela

They deserved the kindness of a lie. - Seeely

My most meaningful relationships are with dead people. - Temperance


Episode 1x02: The man in the SUV (09/20/2005):

Vegetable oil will help loosen the seared body parts from the metal-no different than steak in a pan that sticks. - Temperance Brennan

Targeting everyday places causes panic, people stay home, the economy is crippled. It's terrorism 101, man. - Jack Hodgins

I don't enjoy having squints on my team any more than you like having me on yours, but we're supposed to be working together. - Seeley Booth

They're flesh-eating beetles. It's how we clean the bones of burn victims. - Temperance Brennan

Gibson...Yes sir?.........Yes, sir... - Gibson

We have his detergent brand, cologne, and shampoo. He died a well-groomed man. - Zack Addy

I was just studying a cranial fissure on a corporate attorney last week. Of course, he was dead.
- Temperance Brennan

She has enough pent up sexual energy to power a small Midwestern city. - Angela Montenegro

You do not want to see me angry. That's the last thing you want to see. - Temperance Brennan

You can always count on the dead. - Temperance Brennan

Fanaticism and reason don't go hand-in-hand. - Seeley Booth


Episode 1x03: A boy in the tree (09/27/2005):

"Somebody’s decomposing as we speak." – Zack

"It’s not just a crime scene, it’s a political situation." – Seeley

"Carry with me all my things." – Zack and Temperance

"Let’s give the bone lady some room." – Sheriff

"Head’s up.” – Seeley
"I’m gonna need a bigger bodybag." – Temperance

"I can give you a time of death estimate when I figure out who ate what when." – Hodgins

"Are you drunk or something?" – Temperance

"Maybe the kid’s got some sort of Venezuelan brittle bone syndrome." – Seeley

"My initial finding is…that Nestor Olivos is a victim of a homicide." – Temperance

"I can’t ride a bike or drive a car." – Zack
"…or, apparently, please a woman." – Hodgins
"We’re crime fighters." – Zack

"You alright?" – Seeley
"You?" – Temperance

"That was not wild and kinky sex. It was very basic beginner stuff." – Hodgins

"If you even try, I will take out my gun and shoot you between the eyes." – Seeley

"Very impressive, Temperance. You got that one right." – Seeley

“This is my forensic anthropologist.” - Booth
”Your forensic anthropologist?” - Temperance



Episode 1x04: The man in the bear (11/01/2005):

"Where?" - Temperance
"Inside a bear." – Seeley

"Somebody was disembodied and fed to a bear?" - Seeley

"Come on, now, you have partially digested human remains to examine. That should put a smile on your face." - Dr. Goodman

"Objectively, I'd say I am very smart, but it has nothing to do with my ass." - Temperance

"I once saw a documentary when a bear got in a car and drove away." - Zack
"That wasn't a documentary. That was a cartoon." – Hodgins

"You bogarted my package." - Zack

"Does a bear scat in the woods?" - Seeley

"We don't just have a killer on our hands. We have a cannibal." - Temperance

"Angela, if we were a Peruvian soccer team and crashed in the Andes, who would you rather eat? Me or Zach?" - Hodgins

"The skin in the scat has a sun on it." - Angela
"What is that? A hakiku?" – Sheriff

"Everybody's pumping me." - Bones
"Sorry?" – Seeley

"I'll tell you one thing. If I ate Adam, there wouldn't be anything left." - Local Doctor

"Nobody wants to hear that rambling, psycho speech." - Bones

"Oh…oh...oh." - Angela


Episode 1x05: A boy in a bush (11/08/2005):

It would detract from the gravity of my FBI presence... especially if you parked crooked. – Seeley

Ok, really looking forward to your next book. – Cop

It makes me look like the great gazoo. – Zach

I'm in the FBI. We always figure it out. – Seeley

The shuttle smells like feet. – Zach

Repercussions and consequences, Dr. Hodgins. I'm your boss and you will go to this banquet. – Dr. Goodman

Put your heart in a box. – Temperance

I do have a girlfriend... she's butt ugly. – Seeley

Anger's only fear toward inwards. – Angela

You look normal. You act normal. But you're really one of them. – Seeley.

Funny is Will Ferrell, sweetie. Hot is Colin Farrell. – Angela

I'm really not up for your "it takes a village" anthropology lessons. – Temperance

This is not a National Geographic study. This is the suburbs. – Seeley

Fight coercion in all its forms. You don't write the book, I don't go to the banquet. Solidarity. – Hodgins

If I can't respect the law, at least I can respect you. – Temperance

What I want in life is to come in here and sift through slime and bugs. – Hodgins

You discern humanity in the wreck of a human body. – Dr. Goodman

Apparently, all Angela had to hear was her job description in a deep African-American tone. – Zach

Booth, I knew you'd back me up. – Temperance


Episode 1x06: The man in the wall (11/15/2005):

TGIF, ever hear of that? – Angela
Some kind of acronym? – Temperance

Is my costume alright? – Bones

Your pupils are the size of saucers. – Tessa

Let’s just say, your boss inhaled. – Seeley

How ‘bout a stick to pry the monkey off your back? – Hodgins

I guess you won’t be needing mittens for Christmas. – Seeley

You never dance? – Temperance
I’m told I look like a marionette in a windstorm. – Zach

Murder is wack. – Seeley

Because you’re tense. – Temperance
Because we’re talking. – Seeley

You’re on fire, man. – Seeley

Bugs and slime. That’s where I’m happy. – Hodgins

You dig dead bodies out of mass graves and yanking out a belly button ring makes you sick? – Angela

Where’d you find her? – Club owner
Museum. – Seeley

If you were a dead body, you’d want Tutti looking for you. – Temperance

You guys are so ready for the pre-shacking-up test vacation. – Angela

Where am I? In backwords world? – Temperance

Wait. I can help spread pain. – Temperance

How many times do you want me to poke Zack? – Hodgins
Just once, but as hard as you can. – Temperance

1. Spend the night. 2. Spend the weekend. 3. Exchange keys. 4. Sexy weekend getaway. 5. Extended vacation, inevitably followed by 6. Move in together. – Angela


Episode 1x07: A man on death row (11/22/2005):

Why do you want a gun? – Seeley
To shoot people. – Temperance

Use your mutant powers to talk to people to death. – Seeley

They say it’s like going to sleep, but you’re on fire, you’re paralyzed, and you can’t scream . – Epps

This is not the cabaret, my friend. Life is the cabaret. Come to the cabaret. – Angela

Please do me a favor. – Seeley

I’ll ask the others, but they might have plans. – Temperance
It’s Friday night, and they’re racing beetles. – Seeley

Let’s pretend we are objective scientists and not indulge in conjecture. – Temperance
Ever seen maggots? Just got these in. – Hodgins
Do not talk to him. – Angela

He’s weird, but he’s smart. – Hodgins

Who decodes phone numbers? – Booth

He’s just trying to find the truth. Why should he be penalized? – Temperance
Are you gonna help? – Temperance
I would, but this is a $1200 suit. – Booth

If I don’t make this call, he’s gonna be dead in half an hour. – Booth

Maybe I shouldn’t carry a gun after all. – Temperance
No, you can have mine. – Seeley

We all share in the death of every human being. – Temperance

It should never be easy to take somebody’s life. – Temperance

I think you’ve been practicing your Nobel Peace Prize a little too much. – Booth


Episode 1x08: The girl in the fridge (11/29/2005):

It’s like watching cars mate. – Hodgins

All we need is a toaster oven. – Hodgins

If she was his student and I’m her student, then it follows… -- Zach

You realize, this is just recreational, Michael. – Temperance

I was just saying, I, myself, feel no inclination toward pain or dominance when it comes to sex. – Temperance

No, the Olympics is a competition. Ours is a struggle to the death. – Temperance

We’re friends. We’re colleagues. That’s all. – Temperance
Colleagues with benefits. – Angela

Don’t talk to me about traditional. Ok, I’ve dated circus people. – Angela

She has an obvious personality disorder, but she wants to help. – Seeley

Wow, you’re the reason civilization is declining. – Temperance

Compared to you, most of the world is a little stupid. – Daniel

We tell the truth. We do not flinch. You flinched, Michael. – Temperance


Episode 1x09: The man in the fallout shelter (12/13/2005):

"It took me weeks to collect all those photocopies, I need you, friends don't let friends photocopy their butts at company Christmas parties" -Angela to Brennan

"We've got about half a liter of pure alcohol here, dump it in the eggnog and we've got the best Christmas party in history" -Jack

"If this is fatal I will shoot both of you" -Seeley

"For the 3rd time, those are minute firings of neurons the optic nerve due to your reaction to the anti fungal… you are stoned agent Booth" -Dr. Goodman

"Wait, you have a son? You never mentioned that…" -Brennan
"Well nothing brings people together like a Christmas lung fungus" -Seeley

"He offers the coins for sell to Atkins who figures it easier to kill the country bumpkin and steal the coins…" -Dr. Goodman

"…And say what, 'merry Christmas Ivy Gillespie your fiancé was murdered and your life is ruined, but hey at least you get to know what happened to him'" - Brennan
"Don't you wish someone had said that to you?" - Angela

"It's a self-propelled nano-tomatic unit" -Zach
"It's a robot" -Jack

"You just gave someone the best x-mas gift they could ever get, who's the secret Santa now" -Seeley
"That weirdo assistant of yours just made me the coolest dad in the world" -Seeley


Episode 1x10: The woman at the airport (01/25/2006):

"1500 years old, he shouldn't look this good" -Brennan

"Oh yea yea, the whole ice age warrior thing…" -Booth

"I'm not above telling deputy director Cullen what kind of car you rented" -Brennan

"I thought coyotes were a cowboy thing…" -Booth

"Oh please, now you're describing a scene from lord of the rings" -Jack

"Love your guts, sweetie" -Angela

"You touch her, she'll break your arm" -Booth

"You wanna speak up, its really hard to hear every word in this very very quiet waiting room" - Booth

"I don't know what a producer does, specifically" -Brennan

"You're ordering a prostitute from my cell phone?" -Brennan

"The old 2 on 1 special, classic…" -Jack

"Check on those drinks for us, OK pal?" -Booth

"I enjoyed her humorous treatement of the time space paradox" -Brennan

"You know what would be better, put them on the table and measure" -Zach


Episode 1x11: Woman in the car (02/01/2006):

"One mans security review is another mans witch-hunt" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Not anymore, she's pretty much extinguished by now" -Zach Addy

"I'm not swearing any damn loyalty oath" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"You know if this works I'm going to buy you a puppy" -Booth

"I hear we're all going to get grilled by some mysterious government chick" -Angela

"Install a car-seat in an FBI vehicle?" -Agent Booth

"You're certainly making the whole domestic scene more and more attractive" -Dr. Brennan

"We were in Fiji at a fire dance, you know how those things can be" -Angela

"They think my dossier is complete, they think they know everything about me, well they're wrong!" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I know things that would curdle your blood, including a formula that literally curdles blood" - Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I was hoping you'd turn out to be gay, or have only one ear" -Agent Booth

"Intelligence doesn't determine what you do, so much as how effectively you do it" - Dr. Brennan

"She's a nut, but a smart nut" -Dr. Goodman

"Somebody sent me Donavan Decker's finger" -Agent Booth

"Way to go Zach, we went from genius' to idiots in 3 seconds" -Dr. Jack Hodgins


Episode 1x12: The superhero in the alley (02/08/2006):

"…As interesting as a 10,000 year old white woman found deep in china?" -Zach Addy

"Really, I had you pegged for a graphic novel nut" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"It's quite normal for an American male to read comic books" - Agent Booth

"This is a real live woman, something you guys don't see often" -Agent Booth

"FBI guys are hot and Angela here wants to have sex with me" -Agent Booth

"In some ways my intelligence is a handicap" -Zach Addy

"What if Warren was only supplying his own masturbatory material?" -Angela

"…the Darwinian struggle between avians and mammals for dominance" -Zach Addy

"Hero's don't whine about being sick" -Bones


Episode 1x13: Woman in the garden (02/15/2006):

"I was just using it as an excuse to make conversation…" -Bones

"Great, now he's ignoring us in 2 languages" -Agent Booth

"Typically grave diggers are necrophiliacs looking for a little action" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"In Pikeville Tennessee this guy dug up the graves of all these people because he wanted to make sure their bodies were still there, they weren't" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"My problem is someone shot at me…" -Agent Booth

"Hodgins, suit up, you're coming with us, we're going to the barrio" -Agent Booth

"What is it with you people and the guns" -Agent Booth

"What is this, NPR radio?" -Agent Booth

"Ugh, I love going after senators" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Citizenship screening would keep out members of death squads" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Yes, we're the only people cultivating it privately" -Senators wife

"Of course they're going to be afraid Bones, I have a gun" -Agent Booth

"Let's pretend that I'm the cop for a second" -Agent Booth

"I'm trained in kinesiology, the study of human movement" -Bones


Episode 1x14: The man on the fairway (03/08/2006):

"Usually we have an FBI agent that mediates our interpersonal encounters" -Zach Addy

"A crashing plane falling directly on a human being, one in 10 million" -Zach Addy

"Well obviously we shot it down" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"…dismemberment, little bits, it's a murder" -Bones

"Well it was nicer than shooting him" -Agent Booth

"Wait, how did you hear about the communist Chinese" -Agent Booth

"He's not supposed to know about the Chinese" -Agent Booth

"Maybe he discovered that being pushy is how you get ops to pay attention" -Bones

"You think she was the 'in-flight entertainment'" -Zach Addy

"We get it, you're a rebel" -Angela

"Has anyone noticed that I was the first to offer help, and apparently useless" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"…just leave the human stuff to me" -Agent Booth

"The victim was frozen, dismembered, and fed into a wood chipper" -Zach Addy

"Either talk loud enough so I can hear all the way, or whisper so I can't" -Angela

"No, we are going to keep doing what we're doing behind Goodman's back" -Bones

"Will the cover-up start now or somewhere between here and the state dept" -Jack Hodgins

"…Told you, guy thing" -Zach Addy

"Liars, you just want to see what happens when you toss a frozen pig into a wood chipper" -Angela

"…I have a list of possible matches on our geisha in the sky" -Dr. Jack Hodgins


Episode 1x15: Two bodies in the lab (03/15/2006):

"Cement shoes, pretty trite" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I can provide you with a job description if you forgot what we do here Dr. Hodgins" - Dr. Goodman

"What if your computer date is a psycho?" -Agent Booth

"Ask them to save the excrement for Hodgins" -Bones

"Don't go overboard with the psychology, it's not your thing" -Bones

"You have fun with DICK431 or whatever his handle is" -Agent Booth

"I'm doing the fecal floatation now. Don't get to say that a lot" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I know what a luddite is" -Booth

"You actually have a knight in shining FBI standard issue body amour" -Angela

"…And Hodgins is playing with dog poo so everyone has something to do" -Booth

"Can you hand me that pudding?" -Booth

"…Brokeback baby, gotta ask" -Angela

"…Maybe if we weren't in a toy car" -Booth

"Crackheads aren't that detail oriented" -Booth

"You shouldn't have had all that pudding" -Dr. Jack Hodgins


Episode 1x16: Woman In The Tunnel (03/22/2006):

"You don't just go running after guys in the dark" -Agent Booth

"See the ratio of fly larva to sulfidae beetles?" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"This man is obviously someone important down here" -Brennan

"Running after a murderer in the dark is not an observer" -Angela Montenegro

"Why are missing pieces always the size of quarters, why are tumors always the size of grapefruits" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"All the sudden you know a movie" -Agent Booth

"Facts before conclusions please" -Bones

"Good job Hodgins, what would we do without you" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"You know who you are, you're my grandmother" -Agent Booth

"Doesn't that mean the vault will be empty when we find it?" -Zach Addy

"I don't know how to talk to crazy people unless I'm dating them" -Angela Montenegro

"You can't blunder around in the dark looking for them" -Bones

"Sorry, just trying to think outside your box" -Agent Booth

"Can I just have a gun until they get here?" -Bones

"That’s not cocked it it, because where that's pointed…" -Agent Booth

"Kyle hit the duke with a candlestick in the crypt" -Booth


Episode 1x16: The skull in the desert (03/29/2006):

"Every year for three weeks Angela has a boyfriend and a vacation" -Bones

"You said snakes twice" -Zach Addy

"We're about a hundred miles from where Jesus lost his sandals" -Angela Montenegro

"She wants the plate, not the muffin" -Angela Montenegro

"No offense to you, but you're a stodgy traditionalist when it comes to relationships" -Bones

"Let's rush him, he can't shoot us both" -Bones

"How about I just show him my badge so we both survive" -Agent Booth

"You don't spend a lot of time in trailers do you?" -Agent Booth

"This is the United states of America, not outer Mongolia" -Agent Booth

"I thought you meant drug drugs" -Angela Montenegro

"Just let me do what I do better than anyone else" -Angela Montenegro

"No cell phone service, no water, how long do you think we'll survive out here?" -Bones

"Only Angela could get a ride in the middle of nowhere" -Bones

"It's time for Mr. Addy to grow up" -Dr. Goodman

"Are you guys making fun of me?" -Bones


Episode 1x17: The man with the bone (04/05/2006):

"Why am I here, you know I don't work with skin" -Bones

"The destroyer of evidence is here" -Zach Addy

"I'm going to change mine to French trapper" -Angela Montenegro

"C'mon man, share the wealth" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Bones you don't get to say that, I'm the ones with the badge" -Bones

"Pirates aren't Santa, Zach, they did exist" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"It’s a murder scene, not a show" -Agent Booth

"I believe there's greed, that’s the real curse" -Bones

"Well he's a geek who works for the government" -Agent Booth

"What's with the tertiary, isn't plane old syphilis bad enough" -Agent Booth

"There's an angry billionaire in my office, and he won't go away" -Dr. Goodman

"Where the hell are my bones" -Bones

"Have a shot of jack" -Angela

"Perhaps you should start working with a parrot on your shoulder" -Bones

"What is that? Squint humor, because I'm not laughing" -Dept. Director Sam Cullen


Episode 1x18: The man in the morgue (04/19/2006):

"Another present from the bayou" -Dr. Hodgins

"I keep asking for a baby Tee that says the big easy" -Angela

"You're hoping the streetcar named desire with Booth?" -Angela

"No disrespect Sam, but it's not my religion" -Bones

"Jesus is not a zombie" -Agent Booth

"Voodoo amnesia, that’s a good one…" -Zach Addy

"Voodoo healing is quite effective" -Bones

"Hey, easy on the Catholics" -Agent Booth

"That’s mumbo jumbo, scientific voodoo" -Booth

"…Act more like a normal woman and less like like Lily Monster" -Booth

"Dirt is a meaningless word" -Dr. Hodgins

"I've noticed you try to look taller around Dr. Brennan" -Zach Addy

"Is that a voodoo dumpling" -Booth

"For once in your life can you be quiet!" -Booth

"You know, Angela isn't that much taller than me" -Dr. Hodgins

"You make those bastards unsafe, that’s why I'm nice to you" -Booth

"Everybody, the word dirt means nothing in the lab!" -Dr. Hodgins

"Don't worry, the murder charge won't stick" -Bones

"I'm a bug guy, bug and slime" -Dr. Hodgins

"I find it hard to believe that horny little Mike Doyle is a voodoo sorcerer" -Bones

"I've noticed very few people are scary once they've been poked in the eye" -Bones


Episode 1x19: The graft in the Girl (04/26/2006):

"Pardon the fromage reference, but what’s with the moldy gruyere in that leg" -Hodgins

"Amy Cullen has a problem, she's dying" -Booth

"I ran it through the digitizer" -Angela Montenegro

"Most of the time I restore and enhance old bones, so this is a lot more fun" -Angela Montenegro

"Where did he get this one from, an alcoholic from the corner bar?" -Booth

"We have to exhume her" -Bones

"I find intelligence soothing" -Bones

"How can one dead guy do so much damage" -Booth

"Catch the son of a bitch that did this to my daughter" -Dept. Dir. Cullen

"more like connect the body part" -Bones

"I had an uncle Herman, he used to tell me to pull his finger" -Hodgins

"LIBS, Laser induced breakdown spectroscopy" -Hodgins

"A few of the Hatfields and the McCoys still have no teeth" -Hodgins

"Frozen, like a supermarket turkey, not a scratch on him" -Hodgins

"3 glasses a milk day, I workout and I eat right" –Booth


Episode 1x21: The soldier on the grave (05/10/2006):

"I never get used to the magnitude of this place" - Booth

"I'm not a pro, but I'm guessing fire" - Booth

"Sure, I've been waiting for the press to do that for 3 years" - Dr. Hodgins

"Big boys telling you to sweep this one under the rug?" - Dr. Hodgins

"This dude was wearing a military uniform, he's one of yours, not mine" - Dr. Hodgins

"I'm sorry, I left my phrase book at home" - Booth

"So we're talking ear-hole" - Booth

"I'm your partner, let me be your partner" - Bones

"You do and you could lose a tooth" - Bones

"We're ruled by the corporate oligarchy" - Dr. Hodgins

"Why? Because of your strident paranoid ramblings?" - Angela

"When I look at him, I don't what to do" - Bones

"That Whole Friends with benefits thing, that isn't happening" - Bones

"Fullers unit killed an unarmed family" - Bones

"So this was more than friendly fire incident" - Booth

"With each shot we all die a little bit" – Booth


Episode 1x22: The woman in limbo (05/17/2006):

"Twice in 2 days" -Bones

"If you keep bringing Chinese food in the middle of the night, we're both going to get fat" -Bones

"Technically your mother has been at the Jeffersonian as long as you have"
-Zach Addy

"It’s a cop way of saying 'get lost'" -Dr. Hodgins

"Bones is very literal, so no jokey advice on a court day" -Booth

"Out of limbo, back on earth, and on our way to court" -Booth

"You just found Bones' Mother" -Booth

"'Don't know' means it's a mystery" -Booth

"He might be a pig farmer now…" -Booth

"Bones, will you put the gun down" -Booth

"Tempe, that theory explains why mom never came back for you during that year and a half before she died" -Russ

"Man loves his blunt instruments" -Dr. Hodgins

"What kind of person could use this on a pig" -Bones


Season 2:
Episode 2x01: The Titan on the Tracks (08/30/2006):

"You chilled in Darfur, you chilled..." -Agent Booth

"What’s with the siren, why are you driving like a maniac?" -Dr. Brennan

"...Because I’m not a coroner, I don’t work for you" -Dr. Brennan

"You see anything on this car that isn’t ruptured" -Agent Booth

"Dude, he got hit by a train" -Dr. Hodgins

"You’re saying Dude too much" -Zach Addy

"Cool, as long as paranoia is on the schedule somewhere" -Dr. Hodgins

"We are tighter than a nuns knee’s on this one" -Dr. Saroyan

"I am a diuretic seagull people, everything goes through me" -Dr. Saroyan

"You’re not a flesh-pressing, ink stained, policy-making, wank-tard" -Dr. Hodgins

"You’re chattering me to death because you hope I’ll forget you called me wank-tard" -Dr. Saroyan

"Why do you know things like this?" -Agent Booth

"Oh like a jar, why can’t we just say a jar?" - Agent Booth

"Task oriented is a euphemism for lacking overall perspective" -Dr. Brennan

"Warren Lynch was a heroin addict" -Dr. Brennan

"This reminds me of when you interviewed me to be your grad student. She know
what phentinol is..." - Zach Addy

"Tell me that’s not a real skeleton" -Dr. Brennan

"Dr. Soroyan means she’ll make us watch musical theatre" -Dr. Hodgins

"How about the time you dropped a dead monkey down an elevator shaft" -Agent Booth

"Don’t you have to read him his rights before you strangle him?" -Dr. Brennan

"Rich guys keep their cars clean" -Angela Montenegro

"Hey, I intimidate people" -Dr. Saroyan

"Bones doesn’t intimidate" -Agent Booth

"That’s that brown little smelly part of the job" -Agent Booth

"Just for once Bones, do what people do..." -Agent Booth


Episode 2x02: Mother and Child in the Bay (9/6/2006):

"It's amazing Bones, you can really be snotty sometimes" -Agent Booth

"Does she think I'm new at this?" - Dr. Brennan

"Ok, that’s the smell" -Agent Booth

"Sounds to druggy, I'm going with hero" -Dr. Saroyan

"Are we going to have another murder here or what?" -Agent Booth

"Ironic, since he's running now" -Dr. Hodgins

"George Clooney naked on a white sand beach" -Angela Montenegro

"The notion of a committed relationship, it's fantasy" -Dr. Brennan

"That's right, because of the drinking and the poker" -Dr. Brennan

"…I'm talking to a four year old Dr. Brennan" -Agent Booth

"It's just a release of serotonin necessary for the survival of the species" - Dr. Brennan

"Whatever the hell-mints those are, find them" -Dr. Saroyan

"I guess I just like gamophyta" - Dr. Hodgins

"He hit me in the head with a tonka trunk" -Dr. Hodgins

"I like doing the messing" -Dr. Saroyan

"…Come over to your place and stab the body, that is just freaky" -Agent Booth

"I hate my job" -Angela Montenegro

"All I hear is blah, blah, blah" - Dr. Saroyan

"We hit pay dirt, actually we hit silt" - Dr. Hodgins

"How do you breast feed an unborn child" - Agent Booth

"The last place I worked had a drunk sketch artist" - Dr. Saroyan

"…I gotta meet your boyfriend with Parker here?" -Agent Booth


Episode 2x03: The Boy in the Shroud (9/13/2006):

"Holy mother of God" -Agent Booth

"Flatworms, necrofungus flies and beetles, he's been garbage for about 3 weeks” -Dr. Hodgins

"The whole disguting shabang" -Dr. Hodgins

"I call it the shroud of Montenegro" -Angela Montenegro

"Absolutely, this is the FBI buddy" -Agent Booth

"Oxidized iron, what is that?” - Agent Booth

"Booth should check the garbage truck route for a Russian restaurant" - Dr. Hodgins

"What do I know, I've only been working the streets my whole career" - Agent Booth

"I think these are sandwiches and condoms" - Dr. Brennan

"I hurt you a little bit, but that’s only because you ran" - Dr. Brennan

"Girls, he's a traditionalist" - Agent Booth

"Tension, party of 2" - Dr. Hodgins

"That special boy with a pipe in his pocket" - Dr. Saroyan

"If you lose Brennan, you lose us all" - Angela Montenegro

"I'm not used to bodies looking so much like actual human beings" - Zach Addy

"The squints would flee the Jeffersonian like the French army" - Agent Booth

"When it comes to bug slime, crud, and compost, you're the man" - Dr. Saroyan

"What are you, my straight man?...go!" - Agent Booth

"Are you having a moment" - Zach Addy

"Kelly already called me a perv, so I have my motivation" - Dr. Hodgins


Episode 2x04: The Blonde in the Game (9/20/2006):

"I always wanted a pig" -Dr. Brennan

"Tell animal control we need that bone back" -Dr. Brennan

"My Uncle Preston wants to be buried standing up without a casket" -Dr. Hodgins

"…This is my bo-ho rocker, artist, mid-week, take-a-deep-breathe-and-pout look" -Angela Montenegro

"…He made the point that he really needed his wrist" -Agent Booth

"Round One goes to Howard Apps" -Zach Addy

"Carolyn's the best I could do in here" -Howard Epps

"That’s the lamest attempt at bonding I've ever seen" -Howard Epps

"Laxatives show up in Bones?" -Agent Booth

"These crossed hammers prove that Epps is working for the top level of the illuminati" -Dr. Hodgins

"Remember when I was nice to her and you weren't? This is why" -Agent Booth

"It means I have to go talk to a nun" -Agent Booth

"Where's the siren on this thing?" -Dr. Brennan

"There's no such thing as an innocent woman" -Howard Epps

"Alter Freund mit ähnlichen Geschmäcken" -Howard Epps

"She's better with the living than she is the dead" -Agent Booth

"Men can't hide what they like" -Angela Montenegro

"His message 'don't you miss them' meant his legs?' -Dr. Hodgins

"Epps is good, not morally of course…" -Zach Addy

"Perhaps the point isn't that German is a different language, but that it's actually a different language" -Zach Addy

"Postal workers wear polygenics gloves" -Dr. Hodgins

"Listen dog, I will shoot you in the head if you don't cut it out right now" -Agent Booth

"I hate that serial killer wall of death" -Agent Booth

"I can't just guess, I have a process!" -Dr. Hodgins

"I had to shoot him" -Dr. Brennan

"This whole game was to have us kill someone?" -Dr. Brennan

"You shoot someone, you go get drunk, it's kind of a cop rule" - Dr. Saroyan

"How can I take care of a pig, I can't even take care of plants" -Dr. Brennan

“I did the right thing.” - Bones
”I know. I was there.” - Booth
”I did.” - Bones
”It doesn't matter.” - Booth
”It does.” - Bones
”I got something for you.” - Booth
”A bottle of hard liquor?” - Bones
”The next best thing.” - Booth
”The next best thing ... hmm ... meet Jasper. - Booth
”You're going to be okay” - Booth
”Yeah.” - Bones
”Definetly.” - Booth


Episode 2x05: The Truth in the Lye (9/27/2006):

"I'm sorry, did I say I must know?" –Dr. Brennan

"It's only skin" -Dr. Brennan

"No fun, no video, no vomit" -Dr. Saroyan

"Talk about the proof in the pudding" -Angela Montenegro

"I'd like to go back to the old arrangement where you don't talk to me directly" -Agent Booth

"Please Seeley, like we haven't shared enough of them not to notice" -Dr. Saroyan

"If you’re not helpless, why did you sleep with her?" -Dr. Brennan

"I really appreciate you boiling me down to your anthropological inevitabilities" -Agent Booth

"This is usually where I type and you talk" -Angela Montenegro

"We're not not talking" -Dr. Brennan

"...More like 2 lives" -Dr. Brennan

"There's nothing 'just' about sex" -Dr. Brennan

"Sorry, did I say that out loud" -Angela Montenegro

"One medal for each desperate housewife" -Angela Montenegro

"It's so Jerry Springer" -Angela Montenegro

"Maybe he dissolved himself so there'd me more to go around" -Angela Montenegro

"From the tusk of a small elephant?" -Dr. Saroyan

"Does he mean out? In the world?" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"With what, a very small used condom?" -Agent Booth

"You sure I can't get anyone a soda?" -Agent Booth

"So I hear you're back with your ex" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I think our vice-president disproved that possibility" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"After 2 days of inappropriate comments, you're back to judging me for gross behaviour" -Dr. Jack Hodgins


Episode 2x06: The Girl in Suite 2103 (10/4/2006):

"Nobody likes this song" -Agent Booth

"Why can't you just hum like a normal happy person" -Agent Booth

"She's the extra crispy one" -Dr. Saroyan

"Mad bomber teenage assassin waitress?" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Even you don't want to say anything to hurt his tiny feelings" -Dr. Brennan

"Men sometimes think things are funny, that women find gross" -Angela Montenegro

"You're just trying to prolong this conversation" -Angela Montenegro

"There's a loop people, and I'm in it" -Dr. Saroyan

"This seriously calls genetics into question" -Dr. Brennan

"My guess is you got drunk and fell off your bicycle" -Dr. Brennan

"Do you have any higher aspirations than baby-sitting drunken playboys?" -Agent Booth

"Little people have a long history of being close to power" -Dr. Brennan

"Paint, turpentine, and liquor, blew down a wall, torched 4 people and deposited a corpse in a chandelier 12 feet off the ground?" -Dr. Saroyan

"This experiment should generate an explosion approximately 1/1000th the magnitude of the explosion at the hotel" -Zach Addy

"I'm using those words especially for you Agent Booth" -Zach Addy

"Angela is practically psychic when it comes to this stuff" -Agent Booth

"That little bastard is protecting someone" -Agent Booth

"Come on Alex, baby steps… no offense" -Agent Booth

"You are a man of odd enthusiasms" -Angela Montenegro

"You called it baby, man of odd enthusiasms" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Bug slime and particulates, what's your poison?" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Full court press, no-holds-barred maximum effort?" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"It's as though Juan Ramos drove something through Lisa Winokur's back, like a golf tee" -Zach Addy

"Love is in the purified and ionized lab air, why should we resist?" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"It's a bluff, cops do it tall the time" -Dr. Saroyan

"There's no such place as kamikazestan" -Dr. Brennan

“Of course you wouldn’t.”-Booth
”Why?”-Bones
”Someone who looks like you well wouldn’t. Just because of the way you look.”-Booth
”I don’t understand. What way do I look?”-Bones
”You know the way you’re strucuted very well.”-Booth
”As are you.”-Bones


Episode 2x07: "The Girl with the Curl" (11/1/2006):

"…Which contains fecal matter from animals" -Dr. Brennan

"No would have been just fine" -Agent Booth

"What the hell happen to this kid?" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"What is she a midget stripper?" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I miss organic chemistry class" -Dr. Brennan

"I miss normal people" -Agent Booth

"I wanted larger biceps before I became comfortable with my mental acuity" -Zach Addy

"What would happen if her daughter refused to compete?" -Dr. Brennan

"Hodgins asked me on a date" -Angela Montenegro

"You should never indulge in a romantic relationship with someone you work with" -Dr. Brennan

"Don't come around again looking for a second chance" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"You asked me, figure it out" -Angela Montenegro

"Are you kidding me? These are God's food" -Agent Booth

"Try and get a shot of her buttocks and freeze it" -Dr. Brennan

"She has very nice symmetrical buttocks" -Zach Addy

"What if it doesn't end that way, what if it doesn't go wrong?' -Dr. Jack Hodgins


Episode 2x08 - "The Woman in the Sand"

"They call this America's playground?" -Dr. Brennan

"Once the mob makes a federal prosecutor disappear they want him to stay that way" -Agent Booth

"Straight out of Capone's playbook" - Agent Booth

"Rage has nothing to do with size"-Dr. Brennan

"You’re an anthropologist, observe the culture" -Agent Booth

"Whispers on the strip is that you finally found him" -Lou Mackie

"What's the fun in that, the odds are completely skewed in the dealers favor"-Dr. Brennan

"These adults feed on putrefied organic matter, or in this case Billy"-Dr Jack Hodgins

"You heard of that crap too Hodgins?"-Agent Booth

"Illegal no holds barred slug fests"-Dr. Hodgins

"Where's your light thingy"-Agent Booth

"Please someone, buy a DVD player"-Dr. Hodgins

"The whole maggots eating intestines thing, is not nearly as gross to me now"-Angela Montenegro

"What's with the sudden impulse to leave me behind"-Dr. Brennan

"You know, the hot one that makes the girl crazy"-Agent Booth

"Them boots, they ain't made for walking sweetheart"-Agent Booth

"…ew, look at all the sweat"-Dr. Brennan

"Ok, pine oil, what's that mean?"- Agent Booth

"Honey, I'm from the Bronx, don't think for a second you scare me"-Dr Saroyan

"You can't fight him, he'll kill you"-Dr. Brennan

"She doesn't fight, she dominates"-Dr. Jack Hodgins

"We going to go back to our hotel or mile marker 15?"-Agent Booth

“That's hot!”-Booth
“What’s hot?”-Bones
“Nothing! Vegas. It’s very hot here...”-Booth


Episode 2x09: "Aliens in a Spaceship" (11/15/2006):

"I liked it better when they were aliens" -Agent Booth

"Dr. Brennan, she's pretty good at making dead people tell her things" -Agent Booth

"You were kind of mean to them" -Dr. Brennan

"The Brits say al-um-minium, but it sounds… British" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"If you had paid the ransom your sons would still be dead by the time you got to them" -Dr. Brennan

"Has it occurred to you that God is a lot like the grave-digger?" -Dr. Brennan

"If you want to do some kind of anthropological study, turn on the religious channel" -Agent Booth

"These injuries are classic human versus car" -Dr. Brennan

"Putting Testicles on the outside didn't seem like such a good idea" -Angela Montenegro

"You compete to be king of the lab?" -Angela Montenegro

"You should give him a chance" -Zach Addy

"You can fantasize about pulling out your gun and shooting everyone on stage" -Agent Booth

"I was on my way to karate class, so we have plenty of bottled water" -Dr. Brennan

"That's cool, one less reason to wear a suit" -Agent Booth

"Rich squared to the power of 10 times 4" -Zach Addy

"I don't do why, just how" -Zach Addy

"It's best if I do it very fast and without empathy" -Dr. Brennan

"I am nuts about Angela, over the moon" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"We don't need evidence we need millions of dollars" -Angela Montenegro

"I don't like the term dirt" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"That deadline comes around and my partner is still in the ground, I will end you" -Agent Booth

"I tried all the dumb guy normal stuff, that’s why I'm talking to the brain trust!" -Agent Booth

"…Then I can pull a little thin air out of thin air" - Dr. Jack Hodgins

"…Then the concussion will turn our brains into jelly" -Dr. Brennan

"That is for burying me alive!" -Dr. Brennan


Episode 2x10: The Headless Witch in the Woods (11/29/2006):

"That must have been difficult since she doesn’t have a head" -Dr. Brennan

"I thought you never jump to conclusions" -Dr. Saroyan

"My mother came to me the day after she died" -Dr. Saroyan

"Anyone else feeling tingly, or is it just me?" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"My palms perspired profusely during that film" -Zach Addy

"That's too bad, because drugs would explain the writing I found in Graham's backpack" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I find your imagery both colorful and accurate" -Zach Addy

"Dibs on the next weapon" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I forgot how self-conscious you are talking about sex" -Dr. Brennan

"…Movies so scary you end up peeing your pants" -Agent Booth

"I can compartmentalize…same as you" -Dr. Brennan

"…very impressive integration of radical politics into their music" -Dr. Brennan

"Are you trying to kill me?" -Angela Montenegro

"…Perfect cover, headless witch did it, not me" -Agent Booth

"…Psilocybin mushrooms injected when phencyclidine" -Dr. Saroyan

"C'mon, let the kids have some fun mom" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"This person underwent trepanation!" -Dr. Brennan

"Anything else you forget to mention Bryan?" -Agent Booth

"This is the time where the innocent guy comes clean, or the guilty guy asks for a lawyer" -Agent Booth

"That would mean that, to me you are essentially a woman" -Dr. Brennan

"Someone set up one hell of a horror show to kill Graham Hastings" -Agent Booth

"Well it's film class, have them watch Wedding Crashers" -Agent Booth

"Can I stay at your place tonight?" -Angela Montenegro

"You're my partner, it's a guy hug" -Agent Booth

“Just stay close, alright Bones? I don’t want you to get caught out here when it gets dark. Bones? Bones! Where the hell are you Bones?” – Booth.
“I’m right here Booth” – Bones.

“I’m afraid my best isn’t good enough. I can read bones, not people” - Bones

“You had no trouble seeing through me” - Booth

“It’s a good thing I like being alone.” - Bones
“You know Bones, you’re not alone.” – Booth and he goes to hug her.
“Booth …” - Bones

“Hey. You are my partner. It’s a guy hug. Take it.” - Booth


Episode 2x11: “Judas on a pole” (12/13/2006):

“Real life murder and mutilation versus academic clap-trap, no contest…" -Agent Booth

"No, he's very dead" -Dr. Brennan

"This is going to turn out to be some freaky ritualistic thing, isn't it" -Dr. Saroyan

"I spend half of my time with a sniper trained FBI agent, I feel safe" -Dr. Brennan

"Don’t drink the Moroccan beer, it tastes like earwax" -Agent Booth

"His place is much better than yours" -Dr. Brennan

"I've been practicing some of the black-ops stuff you taught me" -Dr. Brennan

"This is worse than watching, this is hunting" -Agent Booth

"I've seen this movie, I get killed on the way home" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Cam's not the kind of woman you catch with crusties in the corners of her eyes" - Angela Montenegro

"How do you accidentally blow up a train trestle?" -Agent Booth

"I'll take a stand-up crook over a crooked cop any day of the week" -Agent Booth

"We're going to conduct this one like the whole world is watching" -Dr. Saroyan

"That’s my boss's boss's boss" -Agent Booth

"Suspended is FBI speak for fired" -Dr. Saroyan

"Dude, what you call being a conspiracy theorist I call being well informed" - Dr. Jack Hodgins

"You look like a weekend fill-in at a college radio station" -Dr. Saroyan

"Truth hurts dude, learn from it and grow" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I need a makeover" -Zach Addy

"Lose the floppy hair" -Angela Montenegro

"Here's your list of snipers from the decade of disco" -Caroline

"It wasn't a murder, it was a blood stain" -Agent Booth

"FBI. Stop or I'll shoot!" -Agent Booth


Episode 2x12: The Man in the Cell (01/31/2006)

“Hip-hop is not conducive to sleep" - Dr. Brennan

"A lot of these animals haven't seen a real woman since Reagan was president" - Agent Booth

"Short men have better leverage" - Angela Montenegro

"If there's ever anyone who should be in GITMO…" -Angela Montenegro

"…lack of quality time or all the women he bludgeoned to death" - Agent Booth

"You're everything he hates…" - Agent Booth

"Leave it to a serial killer to spoil the mood" - Dr. Saroyan

"That’s like movie huge" - Angela Montenegro

"I think size is pretty important" - Dr. Brennan

"I have an IQ of 180 for Godsake and they had me dressed like a pumpkin" - Howard Epps

"Beautiful woman with a weapon, very Guns and Ammo summer issue" - Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I could assign Zach as your forensic anthropologist…" - Dr. Brennan

"I'm sure Epps is really concerned about the protocols" - Agent Booth

"It's mold, it grows in the fat creases of morbidly obese people" - Dr. Brennan

"You made your son bathed in ammonia" - Dr. Brennan

"Get me the number 2 saw" - Dr. Saroyan

"Are we having an argument?" - Zach Addy

"Let's hope he's not as smart as you" - Angela Montenegro

"Whatever you got better be worth dying for" - Dr. Jack Hodgins

"That was a pressure trigger, body is booby trapped, everybody out!" - Agent Booth

"Apparently you are extremely strong" - Zach Addy

"Are you talking to the evidence?" - Angela Montenegro

"Why does everyone question me, I'm the hero" - Agent Booth

"You won't let me shoot him will you?" - Dr. Brennan

"Don't provoke the lunatic" - Agent Booth

“I don’t care how big your gun is, alright?” Booth

“It’s you all over. Putting things right. Cam’s gets released form the hospital today.”-Bones
“Yeah.”-Booth
“What?”-Bones
“You know what happened to Cam happened because we had a personal relationship.”-Booth
“Had?”-Bones
“Yeah. People who work in high risk situations can’t be involved romantically because it leads to things like what happened.”-Booth
“High risk situations?”-Brennan
“Every single day it’s with us. There’s this line and we can’t cross it. You know what I’m saying.”-Booth
“Yes. I understand.”-Brennan


Episode 2x13: The Girl in the Gator (02/07/2007):

"That was not good…"-Dr. Brennan

"Damn spring breakers think it’s a real kick to come down and drink beer with the big fella's…"- Park ranger

"Okie doke, if you're doing this there's a boat for sale I'd like to check out"-Agent Sullivan

"Don't you have a boat to buy?"- Dr. Brennan

"We have the coolest job ever"-Dr. Hodgins

"Just because you have a doctorate now doesn't mean I won't use you as swizzle stick"-Angela Montenegro

"The clown didn't return fire did it?"-Gordon Wyatt

"Cogitate?... Tea?..."-Agent Booth

"Okie doke, I'm gunna grab a slice, gimme a call when you have an idea"- Agent Sullivan

"You are really English"-Agent Booth

"At the very least subjected some extremely unpleasant college sex"-Dr. Saroyan

"I clicked on a pop-up got caught in a pornado"-Dr. Hodgins

"You know anthropologically speaking, you follow a very ancient tradition"- Dr. Brennan

"Yea, an actual woman, you ought to try it someone"-Agent Sullivan

"How would someone eat gold?"-Zach Addy

"Unbelievable you people, what is it now?"-Monte

"Keep your eyes open for a metal screw threaded thingy"-Dr. Brennan

"I'm in America, we're men, let's drink coffee not tea"-Gordon Wyatt

"Apparently your church kicked your hypocritically ass out…"-Agent Sullivan

"My brain adjusts quite quickly"-Dr. Brennan

"You can remember 180 bricks, but not how many lives you've taken?"-Gordon Wyatt

“My partner is a woman. A woman needs my help.”-Booth

“My Bones calling me. My partner.” -Booth


Episode 2x14: The Man in the Mansion (02/14/2007):

"It looks like J Edgar Hoover picked it out" - Dr. Brennan

"You might want to tuck your pants into your socks the flies get in everywhere" - Dr. Saroyan

"What no cartoon characters on the socks?" - Dr. Saroyan

"We need photos of these spatter patterns" - Dr. Saroyan

"I bet this stature is worth more than my house" - Agent Booth

"You should ask your therapist about your issues with rich people" - Dr. Brennan

"I am a mad sagger" -Agent Sullivan

"Last time you saw me I couldn't grow a beard" - Dr. Jack Hodgins

"He still hasn't made a move on me" - Dr. Brennan

"Damaged goods you run away, very respectful you hang in" - Angela Montenegro

"Why is everyone so anxious for me to be a girl" - Dr. Brennan

"I'm not going to help you get my partner into bed" - Agent Booth

"Spell it out bone boy" - Dr. Saroyan

"Is there any chance you would rather catch the boys murderer than the wealthy fellow's murdered…" - Gordon

"I'll be one of the best smelling things there, next to you of course" - Agent Sullivan

"Athletics as an analog for battle…" - Dr. Brennan

"I need to pull a little con on the wife" - Agent Booth

"Bugs, slime, there's fancier names, but that’s about it" - Agent Booth

"I outta arrest you for tampering with evidence!" - Agent Booth

"Like every other rich guy in the world you decided the rules didn't apply to you" - Agent Booth

"They came from the same muskrat" - Dr. Brennan

"Settle down this is a murder trial, not a night at the Improv" - Judge

"Take Sully for a test drive, maybe he's got unlimited mileage, that make up for the fact that he's got a sub-compact" - Angela Montenegro

"It's a modern day codpiece, forces the eye to the groin" - Gordon

"Exactly how much time have you been spending with Hodgins?" - Dr. Brennan

"The only people lawyers like are other lawyers" - Dr. Saroyan


Episode 2x15: Bodies in the Book (03/14/2007):

"This is my real love"-Dr. Brennan

"We gotta go, they found a floater in the marina"-Agent Booth

"Blue crab season, they'll feed on anything dead or alive"- Dr. Jack Hodgins

"…Perfect way to dispose of bureaucrats"-Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Testosterone spill on aisle four"-Angela Montenegro

"…so sex books"-Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Because we're the good guys Zach, don't you forget that"-Agent Booth

"I thought you weren't interested"-Agent Sullivan

"We need x-ray us some rodents"-Dr. Saroyan

"Do you have any idea how tight a rats rectum is?"-Dr Jack Hodgins

"She fed all of them laxatives?"-Dr. Jack Hodgins

"We're just having a fling, so don't get carried away"-Agent Sullivan

"My shrink is gonna be pissed"Agent Booth

"I'm in charge, I call the shots"-Agent Booth

"I want to see Doctor Brennan, Santa"-Oliver

"You have other organs that can give you far more pleasure-Angela Montenegro

"The odds aren't in favor of lasting relationships"-Dr. Brennan

"We did it in the storage locker an hour ago, I am thrilled"-Angela Montenegro

"Wow, new dress code, cause I didn't get the memo"-Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Everything with you 2, uh…. Nevermind"-Agent Booth

"And I know you, someone gets too close you just push them away"-Agent Booth

"…I think the victim would agree with you"-Zach Addy

"What are you waiting for Booth, go get the bad guys"-Dr. Saroyan


Episode 2x16: The Boneless Bride in the River (03/21/2007):

"It wasn't a vacation it was a suspension"- Agent Booth

"You bones, you don't have to contend with you"- Agent Booth

"What are you saying, she was killed by Wiley Coyote?"- Agent Booth

"Her skeleton was removed"- Dr. Saroyan

"Please god, I'm not out of earshot"- Angela Montenegro

"Bone people should only do Bone things"- Dr. Saroyan

"If I liquidate everything and borrow heavily a ton.”- Agent Sullivan

"Call it sexual feng shui"- Agent Sullivan

"To you it's just a knee cap, to Dr. Brennan it's the best part of a human being"- Zach Addy

"She's either a nun or a prostitute"- Agent Booth

"Details like a criminal record tend to come up during murder investigations"- Agent Booth

"Like a barriage or a marial"- Agent Sullivan

"This is exactly why I do things like shoot up an ice cream truck"- Agent Booth

"I don't need to speak Chinese to get that, she don't think Bones is good for you"- Agent Booth

"Did Bones just speak Chinese?"- Agent Booth

"That plus the ability to experience multiple orgasms"- Zach Addy


Episode 2x17: The Priest in the Churchyard (03/28/2007):

"Are you one of those priests who smacks school children with rulers"- Zach Addy

"Can't you just be satisfied if I'm wrong about god I'll burn in hell?"- Dr. Brennan

"You aren't seriously asking me to be a part of this?"- Dr. Saroyan

"I love it when you talk about smelting"- Angela Montenegro

"I hate psychology"- Dr. Brennan

"So much for the sharp memory"- Agent Booth

"I'm pretty sure that’s and implication of pedophilia"- Dr. Brennan

"I have an estate I'll buy out your lease"- Dr. Jack Hodgins

"No one worships Odin anymore, or Zeus"- Dr. Brennan

"…or something else suitable for skull cracking"- Dr. Saroyan

"You are approaching the altar, very sensitive area"- Agent Booth

"Can we take this with us, or do we need to serve a warrant on God?"- Dr. Brennan

"Bad news is someone's trying to kill you"- Dr. Jack Hodgins

"The accent makes everything you say sound really smart"- Angela Montenegro


Episode 2x18: The Killer in the Concrete (04/04/2007)
"Are you afraid of the dentist" - Dr. Brennan

"That’s a real important distinction to make at this juncture" -Agent Booth

"Huge tubs of lard and retired people" - Dr. Saroyan

"Shot, stabbed, but lived to die another day…rap star" - Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Unfortunately illegal is what I do best" -Max Keenan

"No, cement head, has a nicer ring" - Agent Booth

"How's about I buy you a nice breakfast" - Agent Booth

"She hoodwinked you cause she was hot" - Dr. Saroyan

"In the old west he would have been considered a hero" - Agent Booth

"The technical term is 'pithing'" -Zach Addy

"We think he wiggled instead of waggled" - Angela Montenegro

"Crashes bring everyone to their feet" - Zach Addy

"We process, Booth interprets" - Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I don't believe it's possible to simultaneously suck and blow" - Zach Addy

"Kennedy was a transvestite" - Zach Addy

"You can't smoke at the movies,…I don't know about porno" - Zach Addy

"Good luck with that one big dog" - Agent Booth

"This is one of those times when I have no idea what's happening" - Zach Addy

"Hodgins is outside in his fastest car, it's Italian" - Angela Montenegro

"Oh that’s so cute, but no" - Dr. Jack Hodgins

"You just lied your ass of the federal bureau of investigation" - Dr. Brennan


Episode 2x20: Spaceman in a Crater (05/02/2007):

"So we’re going with the theory this was once human?" - Agent Booth

"Blowfly’s and aliens, who knew?" - Agent Booth

"You know it’s illegal to mock people for their fundamental beliefs" - Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I want to say anomalous but I’m going to go with weird" - Dr. Brennan

"So he fell from outer space in a pair of loafers?" - Agent Booth

"That we know of…" - Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I’ll show you mine if you show me yours" - Agent Booth

"I was hoping we could all be friends" - Agent Booth

"Pluto’s no longer a planet, it was demoted" - Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Did you vomit in the comet?" - Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Please explain to me your reluctance to remove the flesh from the Bones" - Zach Addy

"…like a death beam or a space baby" - Agent Booth

"You cannot see smell" - Zach Addy

"I don’t know if I should laugh, cry, or punch out the sommelier" - Dr. Jack Hodgins


Episode 2x21 - The Glowing Bones in the Old Stone House (05/09/2007):

“…make you an orgasmic grilled cheese sandwich”-Dr. Jack Hodgins

“It’s weird talking about marriage when we’re trying to avoid radiation poisoning”-Agent Booth

“You appear to be a very good breeder”-Dr. Brennan

“It’s not like we get a human light bulb in here every day”-Dr. Jack Hodgins

“Ok squint squad, why does she look like a human glow stick?”-Agent Booth

“Why does everyone think my job is so easy…”-Dr. Jack Hodgins

“I am not a party trick!”-Dr. Jack Hodgins

“I will figure her out just like these electric bones”-Dr. Jack Hodgins

“Oh god what are you doing, plugging a dike or something?”-Agent Booth

“Oh, you think all a man wants is sex”-Agent Booth

“Re-hydrates dried tissues and stops static cling”-Dr. Saroyan

“I’d back down if I were you, he shot a clown once”-Dr. Brennan

“…’cause this wasn’t nasty enough”-Dr. Jack Hodgins

“Unidentified particulates, the 2 sweetest words I know”-Dr. Jack Hodgins

“I don’t even want to think about your pillow talk with Angela”-Dr. Saroyan

“Talk to me squints, as close to English as possible”-Agent Booth


Episode 2x22: Stargazer in a Puddle (05/16/2007):

“We found that, concise enough?” - Police officer

“How’s about we not discuss child murder and our upcoming nuptials in the same conversation” -Dr. Jack Hodgins

“Max Keenan you’re under arrest as an escaped felon” -Agent Booth

“We’ll keep digging, but cher, I don’t know…” -Caroline Julian

“I learned slug from Cam, it’s a colloquialism for projectile” -Zach Addy

“This time art made science her bitch” -Angela Montenegro

“Rationally speaking I’m not good at social ritual” -Zach Addy

“You didn’t give me much time to put a bachelor party together” -Agent Booth

“Angela’s Father… I forgot all about them” -Dr. Jack Hodgins

“That’s not human, it’s spam” -Zach Addy

“Boys, you’ve got spam and sea chimps, you get anything out of that, I’ll buy you each a car” -Dr. Saroyan

“Sea chimps? I love sea chimps” -Agent Booth

“You threw away your own daughter, why would I do you a favor?” -Dr. Brennan

“I’ve got cars, guitars, and guns, you treat my daughter right and you’ll only see the business end of the cars and guitars” -Angela’s Dad

“I’ve been blown up, that wasn’t as bad as I expected, but I’ve never been shot” -Zach Addy

“Hi, I’d like to get married now” -Angela Montenegro

“Is there any sense in ducking when someone shoots at you” -Zach Addy

“I jumped over a broomstick with a guy” -Angela Montenegro



Season 3:

Episode 3x01: The Widow's Son in the Windshield (9/25/2007):
"It didn’t come flying out; it came flying off. Like bounced". -SK8R DRIVER

"You married a guy without knowing his name?" -DOYLEY

"Un-gual. Guh. Guh. Ungual." -BRENNAN

"No. I’m seeing evidence of scalloped and denticulated mastication." -BRENNAN

"I find that you maintain an impressively consistent level of annoyance at all times, why?" -CAROLINE JULIAN

"Obviously, we’re looking for somebody who really, really hates classical music." -CAM

"You think a cannibal is making a habit of tossing body parts off overpasses into passing dump trucks." -CAROLINE JULIAN

"A cannibalistic violin thief who eats faces?" -BRENNAN

"He was barely shaving back then. Why’s she playing squeeze and squish with a nineteen-year-old?" -ANGELA

"Gotta love a self-destructive man with values." -CAM

"Meaning the victim was dead when his face was eaten. Which is good, I guess, given the alternative." -BRENNAN


Bones 3x02: Soccer Mom in the Mini-Van (10/02/2007):

“Let’s see. Roof’s peeled back. Doors and windows blown out from the inside. What, you think maybe she had a bad case of gas?” - BOOTH

“Who the hell would want to blow up a soccer mom?” - BRENNAN

“If no one needs me, I’m going to throw up, then do some paperwork.” - ANGELA

“Okay. I guess I have a little problem with authority. But I never robbed or hurt anyone who didn't have it coming.” - MAX

“They’re insects. They don’t experience emotion.” - BRENNAN

“He’s a con man. He’s always cheerful.” - BRENNAN

“He’s a guy. They can’t help it. They see a knot in a tree and they think it’s calling to them.” - ANGELA

“Loves chemical chitchat. It’s kind of our pillow talk.” - HODGINS

“I’m all alpha, baby.” - BOOTH

“Where’s the bombshell from the bomb squad?” - ANGELA

“He’s irrational. Probably male menopause.” - BRENNAN


Bones 3x03 - Death in the Saddle (10/09/2007):

“Only thing came out of that kid was vomit.” - BOOTH

“She’s going along with the horsey theme.” - HODGINS

“The hooves of champion thoroughbreds are buried separately from their corpse. The hooves represent “power” and are given their own resting spot. The victim’s feet were separated from his body.” - BRENNAN

“This guy got his rocks off pretending to be a horse.” - HODGINS

“It’s a very small step between selling dead meat and making meat dead.” – BRENNAN


Bones 3x04 - The Secret in the Soil (10/23/ 2007):

"Come on, Booth. I’m sure this is just one of those meaningless exercises to illustrate the importance of supporting each other." -BRENNAN

"Agent Booth. Dr. Brennan. This isn’t a game. The FBI’s considering severing your partnership." -DR. SWEETS

"Looks like something from the Nitidulidae family... where did you come from, you gorgeous creature? And do you have any friends?" -HODGINS

"Guy had a point. If pesticides are so bad for us, how come people live longer now than they did before we used pesticides?" -BOOTH

"You’re kidding, right? Scrawny kid sees me, obviously a former jock, and he thinks: time for payback. Makes me fill out stupid forms, threatens to take my partner away -- (off plants) I thought pineapples grew on palm trees." -BOOTH

"Okay, stop. Stop with the “truth zone.” Listen, Sweets, Bones and I are trying to find out who cooked a tree hugger, so why don’t you just go ahead and score the personality tests so we can go back to crime fighting." -BOOTH


Bones 3x05 - The Mummy in the Maze (10/30/2007):

Now, listen boys. The Jeffersonian Halloween party - it’s compulsory. Donors, patrons, angels, benefactors - so we all show up in costume and do our duty. I don’t want any argument on this. -CAM

Fact, Bones: there are no coincidences in a murder investigation. -BOOTH

Fear of clowns. Coulrophobia. It might explain why you shot that clown last year. -BRENNAN

You know what, pincushion? You were practically invisible, now what? You’re bucking for number one suspect? -BOOTH

What I’d like is to look up from this microscope in about ten seconds and find myself totally alone and able to concentrate. -HODGINS

“Pretty fast” is not super speed. -BRENNAN

If you cannot afford a lawyer - which is my guess - one will be provided. A crappy one who went to law school on the internet. -BOOTH

See, what I did there was correct you. Because I’m in character. As a squint. -BOOTH

Bones 3x06 - Intern in the Incinerator (11/6/2007):
Extensive fissures, fractures and breaks to the entire skeleton. I’ll have Zack determine which were caused by heat and which by trauma. - BRENNAN

Yes, Agent Booth, of course. I don’t know if you’ve had much cause to work with scientists. They are difficult people. By nature. Combative, skeptical, resistant. - DR. HARLAN BANCROFT

Kristen Reardon was dead before her skull fractured from falling down the incinerator chute. -HODGINS

Bones, in the interrogation, always refer to the victim by her first name. Otherwise, just use science. - BOOTH

You look great. I mean that objectively. Not as your fake boyfriend. - BOOTH


Bones 3x07 - The Boy in the Time Capsule (11/13/2007):

Looks like you have a new science geek for the nerd squad. - BOOTH

Mullet alert! - HODGINS

C’mon. When you can ladle someone he’s a little less than a person, don’t you think? - HODGINS

Whoah, gee-eee-EEK! I realize that sounds weird coming out of me. - HODGINS

He loved The Cure. -JANELLE

For what? What did he have? -BRENNAN

The band. It’s a band, Bones. -BOOTH

He’s Mr. Second Best. Kind of like Matthew McConaughy when you want Brad Pitt. - ANGELA

I saw Matthew McConaughey once in a movie on a plane. Very silly. But I was quite taken with his musculature. - BRENNAN

You are not a Smurfette. You got your looks, don’t get me wrong, but you got a lot more. - BOOTH


Bones 3x08 - The Knight on the Grid (11/20/2007):

Construction crew found the body at five-fifteen this afternoon. Keyword: “body” - as in “still very meaty.” -BOOTH

Cam? Here’s the deal. Bones goes nowhere alone. -BOOTH

Somebody sent Bones body parts in the mail. -BOOTH

This mausoleum has been here since the 1800’s. It’s paid for by a trust. As far as the Director of the Cemetery knows, no one has been here for a century. Got a key? -HODGINS

Never been big into the coffee cake. Of course these days all my meals are prepared by men in hairnets. -MAX

He said, “I think not.” Also funny. -HODGINS

Russ Brennan, you’re under arrest. Turn around slowly. Put your hands behind your head. -BOOTH

It’s not just that you violated parole, Russ. They think you know something about Dad’s murder case. -BRENNAN


Bones 3x10 - The Santa in the Slush (11/27/2007):

I’m really looking forward to the skeletons in El Brujo. That’s my perfect Christmas. -BRENNAN

I should be Scrooge, but some triple homicide in Cell Block H got the part. You don’t wanna know how. -MAX

You’d think someone who can squeeze up and down chimneys would find the sewer a snap. -CAM

If you take into account all believers of the myth, factor in time zones, rotation of the Earth, and assume Santa travels East to West, he would have to make
approximately 822.6 visits per second to reach every child. -ZACK

Watch out for reindeer. -BRENNAN

You kiss Seeley Booth on the lips and I’ll make sure your daddy gets his dream Christmas. No tree, mind you, but otherwise, as good as an accused murderer can expect. -CAROLINE JULIAN

You kissed? -SWEETS

Merry Christmas, Bones. -BOOTH


Episode 3x09 - Baby in the Bough (04/28/2008)

I'd hardly describe my writing process as "pumping out" books. -BRENNAN

Forced off the road, then set on fire. Someone really wanted her dead. -BOOTH

Just because I have breasts doesn't mean I have magical powers over infants. -BRENNAN

Oh, we're just - we verified that the baby did indeed swallow a key. -HODGINS

Junior made us a little present. -ANGELA

But you're the baby-daddy... -BRENNAN

Got the scoop on the poop. It was pharmaceutical dye, used to color the Phenobarbital that showed up in his tox screen. -CAM

We'll find out what happened to your mother, I promise. Booth is an excellent investigator, and I don't like to boast, but I'm the best in my field. -BRENNAN

Screaming, crying, vomit and other bodily fluids... just like a day around here. Not worth giving up this body for that. -CAM


Episode 3x12 - Player under Pressure (04/21/2008)

I guest-lectured last month to Forensic Science Majors. Four students showed up. Just four. -BRENNAN

Eighth grade, Bones. You mean to tell me you never got naughty with a jock under the bleachers. -BOOTH

The ancient Greeks chased a ball made of animal skin wrapped around seeds. But that was a fertility rite played in the nude. -BRENNAN

Anthropologically speaking, sports are a way for boys to practice their battle skills. -BRENNAN

One of you is taking steroids and the other one is being treated for the clap. -BOOTH

Why is it that men can remember the winners of the last thirty Super Bowls, but they can’t remember their girlfriend’s birthday? -ANGELA


Episode 3x13 - The Verdict is in the Story (05/05/2008):

(barely able to breathe) Rolled in a carpet! "Meaty parts!" -BRENNAN

I tried to help with forensics. -BOOTH

We have a date for your father's murder trial. Booth is the arresting officer. You can't work together until it's over. -CAROLINE

I'm gonna miss you, Sweets. -BOOTH

Besides, Dr. Brennan must realize that we're going to destroy them. -ZACK

Here's what's not different.
(to Booth) Lose the cocky belt buckle.
(to Hodgins) No badges saying, "Resist Authority" or "The Truth is Out There."
(to Zack) Do not cut your own hair the day before a trial.
(to Angela) Ugly up a little, the plain women on the jury hate you.
(to Sweets) Use your fully grown-up words.
(to Cam) Eat. Last time, your stomach was growling louder than your testimony.
-CAROLINE

Dr. Brennan does seem to have an enviable if somewhat disturbing ability to compartmentalize. -DR. SWEETS

I figured once she got up here, saw your scary face, she'd rethink her options. -CAROLINE

The jury looks at Dad kind of mean. -RUSS

I'm ashamed of a lot of things in my life. But in this case, these matters we're discussing, I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. My conscience is clear. -MAX

Friends don't send friends' fathers to the electric chair. -ANGELA

You mean a time when people conked each other on the head and lit them on fire as a way of getting what they want? -CAROLINE

God, Bones. Put the brain in neutral and put the heart in overdrive, okay? -BOOTH


Episode 3x14: The Wannabe in the Weeds (05/12/2008):

I like when you break down doors. Don’t know why exactly, I just do. - BRENNAN

I’m not scrawny! My body mass index is well within normal limits. - BRENNAN

She just imprinted on him like a baby duck. - DR. SWEETS

Mocking will not change my opinion. I have been mocked many, many times before. - DR. SWEETS

One more show tune, and I was going to start shooting. - BOOTH

Who’s Kelly Clarkson? - BRENNAN

“Piano Man” is a bad thing? - BRENNAN
Not the first six million times you hear it. - BOOTH

Because sometimes, I’ve gotta be honest, I feel like you think you’re better than me. - BOOTH
Well, objectively I am more intelligent -- - BRENNAN
There you go. - BOOTH

Kids, you keep fighting, no dessert. - BOOTH

Until I was 13, I wanted to be the next Cyndi Lauper. - BRENNAN
I’d think you were kidding, but you don’t know how to kid. - BOOTH

I can’t just burst into song. I would need music and an appropriate atmosphere of frivolity. - BRENNAN


Bones 3x15 - The Pain in the Heart (05/19/2008):
The Pain in the Heart (Aired May 19, 2008)

It's Agent Booth's funeral, Dr. Brennan. Losing a loved one... -DR. SWEETS

The Arunta Aboriginal tribe in Australia grieves by burning down their village and moving to a new one. That seems no less foolish to me than gathering around a hole in the ground. -BRENNAN

The Bureau faked my death so we could finally get that bastard. I’m the one who drove him underground. He said the only time anyone would ever see him again was at my funeral, so... -BOOTH

Bones, you were supposed to be informed that I wasn’t really dead. I swear. I thought that’s why you weren’t crying. -BOOTH
This is the fifth known victim in the Gormogon murders and all have been subjected to ritualized cannibalism. Whoever Gormogon is, he is convinced that he’s doing important work to rid the world of people and secret societies that are unjustly controlling our lives. -DR. SWEETS (ON TV)

Because it keeps alive an interactive relationship with the killer. That’s why he provided the screws. We give him something, he reciprocates... did you see me on TV? No one has mentioned that I was on TV. -DR. SWEETS

You read comics and drink beer naked? -DR. SWEETS

Prominent public figures being murdered and eaten, evidence that secret societies are being targeted, societies that have great influence in the halls of power. Like the Bureau. -HODGINS

(to Brennan)
I gave my list to the Bureau and they gave it to Sweets.
(to Sweets)
You were the one who decided not to tell Bones that I was still alive.
(to Brennan)
He's the one you should've slugged. Do it now, if you want. -BOOTH

Parker's goldfish died; he cried for two days. I got processed faster than a 39 cent fish?
(to Sweets)
Come on, there's got to be repression and transference and paranoia and other stuff going on here. I mean, when I offer her a piece of pie, you tell me it has deep meaning. -BOOTH

He’s scared of polka dots but screaming agony is just an interesting phenomenon. -HODGINS

It’s Zack. He's the killer, Booth. It's Zack... -BRENNAN

Who’s Gormogon, Zack? -BOOTH

Source: FOX

[~Lisa~]

thanks

lots of new threads

[your creation]

I know

[~Lisa~]

that time again

[your creation]

It is.

This OP is so my next project

[~Lisa~]

ok cool let me know if you need a hand

Angela : I hate when Mom and Mom fight

[your creation]

Makes me laugh anytime

[~Lisa~]

me too

it was like s2 again

[your creation]

It was, and poor Angela

[~Lisa~]

yep stuck in the middle

[your creation]

She couldn't even help

[~Lisa~]

nope you can't solve that one

[your creation]

I am sure they fight like that a lot

[~Lisa~]

yep we just dont see it all the time

[OnlyException]

Exactly