[Karbear3916]

Special Agent Seeley Booth: When the FBI gets stuck we call in squints
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Squints?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, you squint at things
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh, you mean people with high IQ's and basic reasoning skill?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ya.

[Lost in Translation]

That's a great quote. I think so far you've got all the ones I can think of

[Karbear3916]

I'm sure they'll post more on the fox website i got some from imdb.com

[stephie04]

How about this one, from Seeley to Zach

"If you even try it, I'll take out my gun and shoot you between the eyes."

[Karbear3916]

that one is classic.

[stephie04]

I also loved "If he smells with his gut, what do you think he uses his nose for?" I loved how Bones smirked, but didn't outright laugh, so cute!

[m&m fkan]

"which part of this counter is mine, don't you understand?"



Claudia

[Andie]

Angela : 'You have no idea how open minded I am'

[Lost in Translation]

Originally Posted by stephie04 How about this one, from Seeley to Zach "If you even try it, I'll take out my gun and shoot you between the eyes."

Love that one I love them all.

[Andie]

This one was great too

Jack to Zach: "That was not wild and kinky sex. It was very basic beginner stuff."

[Nad]

Since we lost a lot of Quotes I compiled a list from the FOX page:

Episode 1x01: Pilot (09/13/2005):
What? Do you want me to spit in my hand? We're Scully & Mulder. - Seeley

It's like pornography, you'll know it when you see it. - Seeley

Your suit, for example, will outlast your bones by decades. - Zack

You have a disturbingly steep learning curve. - Daniel

Lenny Kravitz or Vanessa Williams? - Angela

They deserved the kindness of a lie. - Seeely

My most meaningful relationships are with dead people. - Temperance


Episode 1x02: The man in the SUV (09/20/2005):
Vegetable oil will help loosen the seared body parts from the metal-no different than steak in a pan that sticks. - Temperance Brennan

Targeting everyday places causes panic, people stay home, the economy is crippled. It's terrorism 101, man. - Jack Hodgins

I don't enjoy having squints on my team any more than you like having me on yours, but we're supposed to be working together. - Seeley Booth

They're flesh-eating beetles. It's how we clean the bones of burn victims. - Temperance Brennan

Gibson...Yes sir?.........Yes, sir... - Gibson

We have his detergent brand, cologne, and shampoo. He died a well-groomed man. - Zack Addy

I was just studying a cranial fissure on a corporate attorney last week. Of course, he was.dead.
- Temperance Brennan

She has enough pent up sexual energy to power a small Midwestern city. - Angela Montenegro

You do not want to see me angry. That's the last thing you want to see. - Temperance Brennan

You can always count on the dead. - Temperance Brennan

Fanaticism and reason don't go hand-in-hand. - Seeley Booth


Episode 1x03: A boy in the tree (09/27/2005):
"Somebody’s decomposing as we speak." – Zack

"It’s not just a crime scene, it’s a political situation." – Seeley

"Carry with me all my things." – Zack and Temperance

"Let’s give the bone lady some room." – Sheriff

"Head’s up.” – Seeley
"I’m gonna need a bigger bodybag." – Temperance

"I can give you a time of death estimate when I figure out who ate what when." – Hodgins

"Are you drunk or something?" – Temperance

"Maybe the kid’s got some sort of Venezuelan brittle bone syndrome." – Seeley

"My initial finding is…that Nestor Olivos is a victim of a homicide." – Temperance

"I can’t ride a bike or drive a car." – Zack
"…or, apparently, please a woman." – Hodgins
"We’re crime fighters." – Zack

"You alright?" – Seeley
"You?" – Temperance

"That was not wild and kinky sex. It was very basic beginner stuff." – Hodgins

"If you even try, I will take out my gun and shoot you between the eyes." – Seeley

"Very impressive, Temperance. You got that one right." – Seeley


Episode 1x04: The man in the bear (11/01/2005):
"Where?" - Temperance
"Inside a bear." – Seeley

"Somebody was disembodied and fed to a bear?" - Seeley

"Come on, now, you have partially digested human remains to examine. That should put a smile on your face." - Dr. Goodman

"Objectively, I'd say I am very smart, but it has nothing to do with my ass." - Temperance

"I once saw a documentary when a bear got in a car and drove away." - Zack
"That wasn't a documentary. That was a cartoon." – Hodgins

"You bogarted my package." - Zack

"Does a bear scat in the woods?" - Seeley

"We don't just have a killer on our hands. We have a cannibal." - Temperance

"Angela, if we were a Peruvian soccer tam and crashed in the Andes, who would you rather eat? Me or Zach?" - Hodgins

"The skin in the scat has a sun on it." - Angela
"What is that? A hakiku?" – Sheriff

"Everybody's pumping me." - Bones
"Sorry?" – Seeley

"I'll tell you one thing. If I ate Adam, there wouldn't be anything left." - Local Doctor

"Nobody wants to hear that rambling, psycho speech." - Bones

"Oh…oh...oh." - Angela


Episode 1x05: A boy in a bush (11/08/2005):
It would detract from the gravity of my FBI presence... especially if you parked crooked. – Seeley

Ok, really looking forward to your next book. – Cop

It makes me look like the great gazoo. – Zach

I'm in the FBI. We always figure it out. – Seeley

The shuttle smells like feet. – Zach

Repercussions and consequences, Dr. Hodgins. I'm your boss and you will go to this banquet. – Dr. Goodman

Put your heart in a box. – Temperance

I do have a girlfriend... she's butt ugly. – Seeley

Anger's only fear toward inwards. – Angela

You look normal. You act normal. But you're really one of them. – Seeley.

Funny is Will Ferrell, sweetie. Hot is Colin Farrell. – Angela

I'm really not up for your "it takes a village" anthropology lessons. – Temperance

This is not a National Geographic study. This is the suburbs. – Seeley

Fight coercion in all its forms. You don't write the book, I don't go to the banquet. Solidarity. – Hodgins

If I can't respect the law, at least I can respect you. – Temperance

What I want in life is to come in here and sift through slime and bugs. – Hodgins

You discern humanity in the wreck of a human body. – Dr. Goodman

Apparently, all Angela had to hear was her job description in a deep African-American tone. – Zach

Booth, I knew you'd back me up. – Temperance


Episode 1x06: The man in the wall (11/15/2005):
TGIF, ever hear of that? – Angela
Some kind of acronym? – Temperance

Is my costume alright? – Bones

Your pupils are the size of saucers. – Tessa

Let’s just say, your boss inhaled. – Seeley

How ‘bout a stick to pry the monkey off your back? – Hodgins

I guess you won’t be needing mittens for Christmas. – Seeley

You never dance? – Temperance
I’m told I look like a marionette in a windstorm. – Zach

Murder is wack. – Seeley

Because you’re tense. – Temperance
Because we’re talking. – Seeley

You’re on fire, man. – Seeley

Bugs and slime. That’s where I’m happy. – Hodgins

You dig dead bodies out of mass graves and yanking out a belly button ring makes you sick? – Angela

Where’d you find her? – Club owner
Museum. – Seeley

If you were a dead body, you’d want Tutti looking for you. – Temperance

You guys are so ready for the pre-shacking-up test vacation. – Angela

Where am I? In backwords world? – Temperance

Wait. I can help spread pain. – Temperance

How many times do you want me to poke Zack? – Hodgins
Just once, but as hard as you can. – Temperance

1. Spend the night. 2. Spend the weekend. 3. Exchange keys. 4. Sexy weekend getaway. 5. Extended vacation, inevitably followed by 6. Move in together. – Angela


Episode 1x07: A man on death row (11/22/2005):
Why do you want a gun? – Seeley
To shoot people. – Temperance

Use your mutant powers to talk to people to death. – Seeley

They say it’s like going to sleep, but you’re on fire, you’re paralyzed, and you can’t scream . – Epps

This is not the cabaret, my friend. Life is the cabaret. Come to the cabaret. – Angela

Please do me a favor. – Seeley

I’ll ask the others, but they might have plans. – Temperance
It’s Friday night, and they’re racing beetles. – Seeley

Let’s pretend we are objective scientists and not indulge in conjecture. – Temperance
Ever seen maggots? Just got these in. – Hodgins
Do not talk to him. – Angela

He’s weird, but he’s smart. – Hodgins

Who decodes phone numbers? – Booth

He’s just trying to find the truth. Why should he be penalized? – Temperance

Are you gonna help? – Temperance
I would, but this is a $1200 suit. – Booth

If I don’t make this call, he’s gonna be dead in half an hour. – Booth

Maybe I shouldn’t carry a gun after all. – Temperance
No, you can have mine. – Seeley

We all share in the death of every human being. – Temperance

It should never be easy to take somebody’s life. – Temperance

I think you’ve been practicing your Nobel Peace Prize a little too much. – Booth


Episode 1x08: The girl in the fridge (11/29/2005):
It’s like watching cars mate. – Hodgins

All we need is a toaster oven. – Hodgins

If she was his student and I’m her student, then it follows… -- Zach

You realize, this is just recreational, Michael. – Temperance

I was just saying, I, myself, feel no inclination toward pain or dominance when it comes to sex. – Temperance

No, the Olympics is a competition. Ours is a struggle to the death. – Temperance

We’re friends. We’re colleagues. That’s all. – Temperance
Colleagues with benefits. – Angela

Don’t talk to me about traditional. Ok, I’ve dated circus people. – Angela

She has an obvious personality disorder, but she wants to help. – Seeley

Wow, you’re the reason civilization is declining. – Temperance

Compared to you, most of the world is a little stupid. – Daniel

We tell the truth. We do not flinch. You flinched, Michael. – Temperance


Episode 1x09: The man in the fallout shelter (12/13/2005):
"It took me weeks to collect all those photocopies, I need you, friends don't let friends photocopy their butts at company Christmas parties" -Angela to Brennan

"We've got about half a liter of pure alcohol here, dump it in the eggnog and we've got the best Christmas party in history" -Jack

"If this is fatal I will shoot both of you" -Seeley

"For the 3rd time, those are minute firings of neurons the optic nerve due to your reaction to the anti fungal… you are stoned agent Booth" -Dr. Goodman

"Wait, you have a son? You never mentioned that…" -Brennan
"Well nothing brings people together like a Christmas lung fungus" -Seeley

"He offers the coins for sell to Atkins who figures it easier to kill the country bumpkin and steal the coins…" -Dr. Goodman

"…And say what, 'merry Christmas Ivy Gillespie your fiancé was murdered and your life is ruined, but hey at least you get to know what happened to him'" - Brennan
"Don't you wish someone had said that to you?" - Angela

"It's a self-propelled nano-tomatic unit" -Zach
"It's a robot" -Jack

"You just gave someone the best x-mas gift they could ever get, who's the secret Santa now" -Seeley

"That weirdo assistant of yours just made me the coolest dad in the world" -Seeley


Episode 1x10: The woman at the airport (01/25/2006):
"1500 years old, he shouldn't look this good" -Brennan

"Oh yea yea, the whole ice age warrior thing…" -Booth

"I'm not above telling deputy director Colins what kind of car you rented" -Brennan

"I thought coyotes were a cowboy thing…" -Booth

"Oh please, now you're describing a scene from lord of the rings" -Jack

"Love your guts, sweetie" -Angela

"You touch her, she'll break your arm" -Booth

"You wanna speak up, its really hard to hear every word in this very very quiet waiting room" - Booth

"I don't know what a producer does, specifically" -Brennan

"You're ordering a prostitute from my cell phone?" -Brennan

"The old 2 on 1 special, classic…" -Jack

"Check on those drinks for us, OK pal?" -Booth

"I enjoyed her humorous treatement of the time space paradox" -Brennan

"You know what would be better, put them on the table and measure" -Zach


Episode 1x11: Woman in the car (02/01/2006):
"One mans security review is another mans witch-hunt" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Not anymore, she's pretty much extinguished by now" -Zach Addy

"I'm not swearing any damn loyalty oath" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"You know if this works I'm going to buy you a puppy" -Booth

"I hear we're all going to get grilled by some mysteriouos government chick" -Angela

"Install a car-seat in an FBI vehicle?" -Agent Booth

"You're certainly making the whole domestic scene more and more attractive" -Dr. Brennan

"We were in Fiji at a fire dance, you know how those things can be" -Angela

"They think my dossier is complete, they think they know everything about me, well they're wrong!" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I know things that would curdle your blood, including a formula that literally curdles blood" - Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I was hoping you'd turn out to be gay, or have only one ear" -Agent Booth

"Intelligence doesn't determine what you do, so much as how effectively you do it" - Dr. Brennan

"She's a nut, but a smart nut" -Dr. Goodman

"Somebody sent me Donavan Decker's finger" -Agent Booth

"Way to go Zach, we went from genius' to idiots in 3 seconds" -Dr. Jack Hodgins


Episode 1x12: The superhero in the alley (02/08/2006):
"…As interesting as a 10,000 year old white woman found deep in china?" -Zach Addy

"Really, I had you pegged for a graphic novel nut" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"It's quite normal for an American male to read comic books" - Agent Booth

"This is a real live woman, something you guys don't see often" -Agent Booth

"FBI guys are hot and Angela here wants to have sex with me" -Agent Booth

"In some ways my intelligence is a handicap" -Zach Addy

"What if Warren was only supplying his own masturbatory material?" -Angela

"…the Darwinian struggle between avians and mammals for dominance" -Zach Addy

"Hero's don't whine about being sick" -Bones


Episode 1x13: Woman in the garden (02/15/2006):
"I was just using it as an excuse to make conversation…" -Bones

"Great, now he's ignoring us in 2 languages" -Agent Booth

"Typically grave diggers are necrophiliacs looking for a little action" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"In Pikeville Tennessee this guy dug up the graves of all these people because he wanted to make sure their bodies were still there, they weren't" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"My problem is someone shot at me…" -Agent Booth

"Hodgins, suit up, you're coming with us, we're going to the barrio" -Agent Booth

"What is it with you people and the guns" -Agent Booth

"What is this, NPR radio?" -Agent Booth

"Ugh, I love going after senators" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Citizenship screening would keep out members of death squads" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Yes, we're the only people cultivating it privately" -Senators wife

"Of course they're going to be afraid Bones, I have a gun" -Agent Booth

"Let's pretend that I'm the cop for a second" -Agent Booth

"I'm trained in kinesiology, the study of human movement" -Bones


Episode 1x14: The man on the fairway (03/08/2006):
"Usually we have an FBI agent that mediates our interpersonal encounters" -Zach Addy

"A crashing plane falling directly on a human being , one in 10 million" -Zach Addy

"Well obviously we shot it down" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"…dismemberment, little bits, it's a murder" -Bones

"Well it was nicer than shooting him" -Agent Booth

"Wait, how did you hear about the communist Chinese" -Agent Booth

"He's not supposed to know about the Chinese" -Agent Booth

"Maybe he discovered that being pushy is how you get ops to pay attention" -Bones

"You think she was the 'in-flight entertainment'" -Zach Addy

"We get it, you're a rebel" -Angela

"Has anyone noticed that I was the first to offer help, and apparently useless" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"…just leave the human stuff to me" -Agent Booth

"The victim was frozen, dismembered, and fed into a wood chipper" -Zach Addy

"Either talk loud enough so I can hear all the way, or whisper so I can't" -Angela

"No, we are going to keep doing what we're doing behind Goodman's back" -Bones

"Will the cover-up start now or somewhere between here and the state dept" -Jack Hodgins

"…Told you, guy thing" -Zach Addy

"Liars, just want to see what happens when you toss a frozen pig into a wood chipper" -Angela

"…I have a list of possible matches on our geisha in the sky" -Dr. Jack Hodgins


Episode 1x15: Two bodies in the lab (03/15/2006):
"Cement shoes, pretty trite" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I can provide you with a job description if you forgot what we do here Dr. Hodgins" - Dr. Goodman

"What if your computer date is a psycho?" -Agent Booth

"Ask them to save the excrement for Hodgins" -Bones

"Don't go overboard with the psychology, it's not your thing" -Bones

"You have fun with DICK431 or whatever his handle is" -Agent Booth

"I'm doing the fecal floatation now. Don't get to say that a lot" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"I know what a luddite is" -Booth

"You actually have a knight in shining FBI standard issue body amour" -Angela

"…And Hodgins is playing with dog poo so everyone has something to do" -Booth

"Can you hand me that pudding?" -Booth

"…Brokeback baby, gotta ask" -Angela

"…Maybe if we weren't in a toy car" -Booth

"Crackheads aren't that detail oriented" -Booth

"You shouldn't have had all that pudding" -Dr. Jack Hodgins


Episode 1x16: The skull in the desert (03/29/2006):
"Every year for three weeks Angela has a boyfriend and a vacation" -Bones

"You said snakes twice" -Zach Addy

"We're about a hundred miles from where Jesus lost his sandals" -Angela Montenegro

"She wants the plate, not the muffin" -Angela Montenegro

"No offense to you, but you're a stodgy traditionalist when it comes to relationships" -Bones

"Let's rush him, he can't shoot us both" -Bones

"How about I just show him my badge so we both survive" -Agent Booth

"You don't spend a lot of time in trailers do you?" -Agent Booth

"This is the United states of America, not outer Mongolia" -Agent Booth

"I thought you meant drug drugs" -Angela Montenegro

"Just let me do what I do better than anyone else" -Angela Montenegro

"No cell phone service, no water, how long do you think we'll survive out here?" -Bones

"Only Angela could get a ride in the middle of nowhere" -Bones

"It's time for Mr. Addy to grow up" -Dr. Goodman

"Are you guys making fun of me?" -Bones


Episode 1x17: The man with the bone (04/05/2006):
"Why am I here, you know I don't work with skin" -Bones

"The destroyer of evidence is here" -Zach Addy

"I'm going to change mine to French trapper" -Angela Montenegro

"C'mon man, share the wealth" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"Bones you don't get to say that, I'm the one with the badge" - Booth

"Pirates aren't Santa, Zach, they did exist" -Dr. Jack Hodgins

"It’s a murder scene, not a show" -Agent Booth

"I believe there's greed, that’s the real curse" -Bones

"Well he's a geek who works for the government" -Agent Booth

"What's with the tertiary, isn't plane old syphilis bad enough" -Agent Booth

"There's an angry billionaire in my office, and he won't go away" -Dr. Goodman

"Where the hell are my bones" -Bones

"Have a shot of jack" -Angela

"Perhaps you should start working with a parrot on your shoulder" -Bones

"What is that? Squint humor, because I'm not laughing" -Dept. Director Sam Cullen

Source: FOX

[Johnnie]

I'm not sure on the exact wording of it and I don't have time to check at the moment, but from the last episode to air:

"Jesus is not a zombie."

Something like that, Booth said it to Bones.

[Andie]

Wow, thanks a lot for compiling the list Nad

Johnnie, that's a good one!

[Evenstar1002]

Nad - Thanks so much for the list! They're great

Johnnie - I so hard, watching that scene. "Jesus is not a zombie" One of the best quotes ever!

[Nad]

Quotes from the last episode

Episode 1x19: The man in the morgue (04/19/2006):

"Another present from the bayou" -Dr. Hodgins
"I keep asking for a baby Tee that says the big easy" -Angela

"You're hoping the streetcar named desire with Booth?" -Angela

"No disrespect Sam, but it's not my religion" -Bones

"Jesus is not a zombie" -Agent Booth

"Voodoo amnesia, that’s a good one…" -Zach Addy

"Voodoo healing is quite effective" -Bones

"Hey, easy on the Catholics" -Agent Booth

"That’s mumbo jumbo, scientific voodoo" -Booth

"…Act more like a normal woman and less like like Lily Monster" -Booth

"Dirt is a meaningless word" -Dr. Hodgins

"I've noticed you try to look taller around Dr. Brennan" -Zach Addy

"Is that a voodoo dumpling" -Booth

"For once in your life can you be quiet!" -Booth

"You know, Angela isn't that much taller than me" -Dr. Hodgins

"You make those bastards unsafe, that’s why I'm nice to you" -Booth

"Everybody, the word dirt means nothing in the lab!" -Dr. Hodgins

"Don't worry, the murder charge won't stick" -Bones

"I'm a bug guy, bug and slime" -Dr. Hodgins

"I find it hard to believe that horny little Mike Doyle is a voodoo sorcerer" -Bones

"I've noticed very few people are scary once they've been poked in the eye" -Bones

Source: FOX