jokarev

Me too. I hate it. I feel so unsatisfied with 12A. If this proposal had happened under different circumstances we could at least look forward to them getting married soon. Now we're all pretty sure that Jo will say no, and none of us really wants her to say yes anyway because it won't fix anything. When I look back, I only like re-watching their scenes in 12x03 and the proposal in 12x08. Other than that there's not much to look back to that would help bridging the hiatus.

I hope good things will wait for us in February. And with that I don't mean fluff, I mean good storylines and character development. So I can finally enjoy the show again.

Spirit of the Radio

Double post

Spirit of the Radio

I still pop in to read from time to time! I have been pretty frustrated with both Alex and Jo so far this season, but honestly ANYTHING is better than last season. Because this is Grey's I figured that we wouldn't love whatever conflict they had, but at least they have scenes and are not completely ignored and the writers are showing both sides of the issue, IMO. I completely get where Jo is coming from, but I also know that Mer's friendship is important to Alex (not that it should be more important than Jo) and in his mind he is doing what he thinks is the right thing. So I think that he has been neglectful and taking her for granted and his loyalty may be misguided, but I don't think that he is the worst!boyfriend!ever! He isn't even the worst this show has seen.

I'm glad that Jo finally stood up for herself and that Jo and Steph made up but I hated how it happened. I think that Steph feels sorry for Jo and that sucks. I'm tired of Jo being the victim and I'm tired of the pity parties, no matter how warranted they are. I think that will change though and I'm looking forward to it.

Even though his timing is the absolute worst, I am happy that Alex proposed and that he was so excited about it. But Jo is right, he doesn't listen, and he wasn't really listening then either. I am not sure what I want for her answer. She shouldn't say yes outright because a ring doesn't make the problems go away. But I'm not sure that I want her to flat out say no either. I hope that she tells him she needs time to think about it and that she goes and stays with Steph for awhile.

Anyway, I am looking forward to 12B. Like I said, this isn't the story that I would have chosen for them, but it is something, and for me something is better than nothing any day.

Sav@

This is true, but I think when we speak evil about him, it's not like we really think he is the worst boyfriend ever, it's most about the frustration we feel IMO.
It's not like he is doing something bad, it's the fact that he doesn't understand how he isn't doing right, either.

So if he doesn't understand and doesn't resolve this attitude they can't get married IMO. But I agree about Jo, she needs to stop be the "victim" and bring the thunder already. I'm happy she started with it at the end of last episode and I hope she continue with it, now I need a turning point from Alex too.

But yes, sure this is better then last year, now we have something to look forward, finally! Also because, even if this proposal goes wrong for now, I believe within the end of this season we could really get our marriage. So sure, the preparation for this big step is something I like to see, even if I don't like how they are doing it.

Btw, in a more lightly way, I think I just found the bathroom in the loft, LOL I always wonder where it could be, so now, could be behind that door?

PaireInLove

I've been lurking around this thread for two weeks and I just want to say, I really hope Jo says no! And I love them together but Alex needs to grovel his ass off! And I want to see it

tinnie75

I agree with this. Surely he has been a crappy boyfriend from what we have seen, but it's not as bad as people make it out to be. IMHO Owen was much worse to Cristina a lot of the time and their shippers still acted like it was okay

Anyway, I think I have my decision set in stone now when it comes to the proposal. I want Jo to tell him that she needs to think about it, or that she's not saying yes but she's not saying no. Because if she said yes, then Alex would have less motivation to change things. If she says no, it might be a bit too hard on them and we may not get another proposal for ages. But if she says maybe, then we should see Alex working on the relationship and them getting engaged in near-ish future.

Sav@

Hi!
Yes, We are many here that want to see that. Lol
Of course, not for wickedness toward Alex, but just because I think that Alex acknowledge there is a problem, is needed in the relationship if they want to get married in the (near) future.

I think this could be the better scenario. I come with this idea regard Jo's answer: "I want, but I can't", like, of course she wants to marry him, but not with this current situation. So he can realize a change of behaviour is needed.

xsweetgirlx91

Welcome! Everyone who's lurking and who wants to say something please feel welcome to write. I know we always end up having long discussions here but I hope that doesn't scare off people who only have something small to say. And I'm sure other people who only post short comments would like it if more people wrote only short comments. I'm so sorry for always rambling. Sometimes I want to keep my posts short but they end up being long anyway.

I think I'm one of the people who are the most frustrated with Alex right now but I don't think he's the worst boyfriend ever either. I hope I didn't come across like I was implying that, Spirit of the Radio. Like Sav@ I'm just frustrated and it probably sometimes comes across pretty harshly how I feel about Alex these days. I think the thing that bugs me most is that this situation is reaching Callie/George/Izzie levels (with Alex not defending Jo to Meredith but doing it the other way round) and that Gizzie/Callie thing was one of the reasons I ended up disliking George and Izzie (I did ship Alex/Izzie before and afterwards but mainly for Alex, I was never an Izzie fan, just wanting to add that because I mentioned somewhere else that I used to ship Alex/Izzie a lot and I don't want to be called a liar or someone who says something different in every thread ). And it just really annoys me that Alex is now becoming what I hated so much about George. The difference here is that Alex loves Jo and George didn't really love Callie, which makes it even harder for me to understand why he's acting like this.

There are some scenes (mostly when it's just Jo and him) when Alex acts like a loving boyfriend and I think "yes! He loves Jo so much, you can see it." and then the next moment he's the biggest jerk just because he's with friends. I guess more often than not he's oblivious and it's maybe Jo's fault for not speaking up about it sooner. But then in scenes like the one in the sneak peek I can only view his attitude as carelessness.

And it takes a lot of obliviousness IMO to propose after such a fight when we didn't even get another Jolex scene. I just honestly don't understand him anymore. I know he waited for that night for a month and maybe his nervosity about it was part of why he didn't really register Jo's comment about snow in the car. He also didn't mean to send her away in the scene with Meredith. And that's why I can understand his reaction in the scene with Jo and her burn patient. It's not like he wanted to fight with Jo, and Meredith had kept his ring for a month so I even understand the "she's the only one I can count on". Even though I hated the "you don't get to tell me what my priorities are" part, I know that Alex can blow up badly in a fight and say hurtful things. So I understand all these things, except for him defending Mer to Jo but never the other way round or him brushing her off with a "you're fine." But the rest I understand now. What I don't understand is how after seeing that he made Jo cry - and when was the last time we saw Jo cry in front of him/because of him? - he still didn't start with an apology but thought that acting like nothing happened and doing the proposal anyway would work.

I love Sav@s scenario because I want Jo to say something similiar. Maybe a "not like this Alex." Because as much as he's pissing me off lately I would hate for Alex to be heartbroken again. However it also breaks my heart how Jo spent the entire episode crying because of him and then I want him to hurt and feel bad about that.

Like you can see, I'm not sure what I want to happen. I definitely don't call Alex the worst boyfriend ever but I'm pretty upset with him, so upset that not even people who defend him can really change my mind these days when I used to always be the one to defend him. I think maybe in my case it's a little personal because I was once in Jo's situation and it just sucks. I know one thing and that is that I don't want to see so much of Alex with his friends anymore. Please only the necessary amount. If Jolex get married someday Jo should be Alex's priority and he should give at least his 90% to the marriage. I can also accept 80%, maybe 70% if Meredith needs him. But I don't want a pregnant Jo sitting alone at home because her husband is preoccupied with other things. Part of me thinks that Alex will change once they're married because he always took marriage very seriously with Izzie. But then again I don't want them to get married for him to change.

So yeah, no idea what will happen. I just hope Jo won't say yes.

xsweetgirlx91

Sorry, double post. But do you see how long my posts get? I really don't mean to make them so long, I'm so sorry. 🙈

tinnie75

I think that could work. Like if she told him that she can't agree to marry him right now out of respect for herself. Because it is kinda true. If she just blindly agreed to marry him without wanting him to treat her better, it would be disrespectful for her.

yarens

I agree that Alex's actions have become very hard to understand. Especially the point about him making Jo cry and then proposing afterwards is really bewildering. Did he think that the proposal would be the best way to apologize? Maybe he should've started with an apology then.

I wish we had seen an Alex scene between the fight and the proposal. I would've loved one with him worrying about having ruined everything with that fight, maybe talking to Meredith about it and her being there for him. But of course we didn't get to see that.

falling slowly

marriage is 100% on both sides. Period!!!

ryanforever

this is why i said Alex is bipolar....all these actions are in contradiction. he asks her to marry because h's sorry for acting like a jerk...

jokarev

Maybe bipolar is the right word. I think they wanted to make the proposal a surprise and that's why they didn't show more scenes in between. I wish they still had showed a scene where Alex was sad or something. Or sad at the beginning of the proposal scene at least. This just made it look like he had long forgotten that he'd made Jo cry a few hours ago.

Definitely. I think right now Jo is putting more into their relationship than Alex and that needs to change if they are ever about to get married.

I wish the writers would end these silly storylines already and focus on the real potential they have with Jolex. But maybe this proposal will be the start of it. I can see Jo saying no and then the writers exploring her past explaining what the idea of marriage and a family means to her, what it means to Alex, etct.

Let's hope that this is where they're headed with this. Shonda said we don't know Jo as well as we should. I'm hopeful that she wants to show us more.

xsweetgirlx91

This really makes me so mad. Half of the storylines I wanted to see should've happened somewhere at the beginning of their relationship. Now they've been dating for so long now that one always wonders "wait, shouldn't they have discussed this topic a long time ago?"
That's why I'm glad they made Jo find the papers about the embryos while unpacking. I can totally imagine Alex never mentioning them. But a real talk about Izzie or Alex's first marriage hasn't happened yet. I'm still holding out hope that it will since I'm sure that this proposal won't end well.

I'm sure every fan interprets things differently but I for example always thought that Alex wouldn't want to get married again, considering how bad his first marriage ended. I wish the writers would make him talk about it. Maybe tell Jo that he didn't want to get married but that she changed his opinion. After all Jo came into his life when I thought that he'd kind of given up on love. I know these things are cheesy and Alex Karev is not, but I'd really love to hear them.

Only one week has passed guys, we still have to wait so long.