[Lemurian]

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Please post all issues related to romantic relationships on this thread. All other threads started on this board that should be here instead will be merged into this thread or closed. Thank you.

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Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. -- James A. Baldwin

[silentღscene]

Thanks, Lem.

That comic is hysterical.

[Tyra from *NOL]

Originally Posted by candy rain what do you get in falling in love? there are many answers,what's yours'?

the feeling of being close & intimate with someone, feeling loved.

[JoeyDoris]

My boyfriend stayed the other night, it was amazingly romantic, he's perfect for me

[Yellow Mustang Girl]

I just noticed the cartoon in the opening pic Too funny!

[Rainstorm Jenny]

Hey guys, I need some advice on an issue that has been going on with me and my boyfriend for quite some time now.

Lately me and my boyfriend has been having on and off again conflict dued to money issues and stress. We almost lost our apartment but was able to save it and renew our leash because my boyfriend got a second job. I've applied at quite a few jobs myself but nothing so far. (I only work part-time and dont make enough money to help pay half of the bills. I only am able to give half of the rent and I buy the groceries, He takes care of the rest like cable, electric and his own bills like car insurance and bank loan). He understood before we planned to move in together that my income wasnt as good as his and he didnt have a problem with it at all. Early in April I got a message on myspace from his sister accusing me of using him and that I need to treat him better. I was dumbfounded because it was just out of the blue. I was upset and didnt understand why she was saying these things unless somehow my boyfriend was saying something. He has admitted that he told his mom while his sister was standing there that he wish I had a better job and that he doesnt really want a second job but will take it for extra money. To have his sister attack me like that upset me but what really upsetted me even more was my boyfriend himself didnt talk to me about this issue. I will admit I do have insercurities about myself that Im working on. I feel like sometimes I just cant trust people. Ive been hurt and cheated on in the past but I try not to make my boyfriend feel like he is going to do the same thing. He does have other female girlfriends that he talks to which I respect though one of them tried to break us up in the beginning of our relationship but she isnt around anymore. I never got to confront his sister about the issue so I just avoided it. Well just today his sister is back at disrespecting me again. Leaving a comment on his myspace page about his status that was referring to him being a better man for me. She ends up saying "Get rid of the bitch first before you can become a man". I dont know what I did to make her dislike me that much. I want to try to avoid it and not cause problems with me and my boyfriend but at the same time it hurts that she doesnt want to get to know me and trying to start drama. My boyfriend confronted her and told her that she needs to mind her own business and leave our relationship alone but she kept saying I dont care I will anyways. I dont know what to do anymore. Any advice on what I should/could do or if you were in my situation what you would do?

[Lemurian]

Originally Posted by Rainstorm18 (View Post) ...My boyfriend confronted her and told her that she needs to mind her own business and leave our relationship alone but she kept saying I dont care I will anyways. I dont know what to do anymore. Any advice on what I should/could do or if you were in my situation what you would do?

There are two people in your relationship: you and your boyfriend. His sister doesn't belong there, and it was great that your guy told her to butt out. Now you need to try to ignore her.

Focus on trying to solve the other issues in your life, like trust and money problems. And remember that your guy loves you enough to stand up to his own family in your behalf--that means he's someone special and that he values you.

Count the positive points, and try not to let someone negative take that away from you.

[Yellow Mustang Girl]

^ I think Lem's advice is good

[Rainstorm Jenny]

Thank you so much for the advice. Your absolutely right. My mother gave me the exact advice on to avoid her and stay away from the people that are negative, she isnt in the relationship. I guess sometimes I just cant take it when people dislike me but thats life. You cant have everyone like you so Im learning to not take it so personal and to heart.

[~♥~CrazyInLove~♥~]

I hope everything works out for you

[Lemurian]

Originally Posted by Rainstorm18 (View Post) Thank you so much for the advice. Your absolutely right. My mother gave me the exact advice on to avoid her and stay away from the people that are negative, she isnt in the relationship. I guess sometimes I just cant take it when people dislike me but thats life. You cant have everyone like you so Im learning to not take it so personal and to heart.

I'm glad that your mom told you that, too.

I find it really hard to take when other people don't like me so I can imagine how uncomfortable his sister must make you feel.

Just a thought: It's probably likely that she is doing this because she is jealous of the close relationship you have with her brother and she fears that you will take him away from her.

[Tyra from *NOL]

it's kinda the same with my mom saying how i'm never home on weekends & that i don't spend time with her. but what does she expect? that i don't see Eric? it felt like she wants me to choose between her & Eric. every sunday nights, she'd make me feel bad about spending time with Eric, so typically her making me blame myself.

relationships should be between two people. all that matters is that we love each other.

[Rainstorm Jenny]

Thanks everyone.

Lem- Sometimes I wonder that myself if she is jealous though my boyfriend has told me that his sister treated him badly when he was living at home with parents when they were kids and she never liked any of his girlfriends, she prefers if he dated her friends. Right now though I have the attitude like 'Oh well, thats tough because he choosed me instead'

[Lemurian]

Originally Posted by Rainstorm18 (View Post) Thanks everyone. Lem- Sometimes I wonder that myself if she is jealous though my boyfriend has told me that his sister treated him badly when he was living at home with parents when they were kids and she never liked any of his girlfriends, she prefers if he dated her friends. Right now though I have the attitude like 'Oh well, thats tough because he choosed me instead'

He made a very good choice.

His sister sounds like a troubled person, and that's really sad.

[Rainstorm Jenny]

Thanks that means alot.