[MissAndieWitter]

Originally Posted by mad lil' duck (View Post) I had the same thing for three years, not giving other guys a chance because I bumped into one "bad" guy...I realized this very late, and know that I am letting guys into my life again, I sort of keep bumping into the bad ones...It's like I attrack them or something it bugs me... I do know I'm not the easiest girl in the world either, very difficult sometimes and I'm totally picky and probably very very hard to get too... The guy I was normally going to date last Sunday cancelled on me last minute, and I totally went all "well then I don't want to anymore either" on him...It's just so blah...I dislike blind dates, but when I finally want to have one, you'd better not cancel on me takes one back like ten steps again Is anyone else like that? If the guy really tries to get the date and you just wait and see...But eventually grant him the benifit of the doubt and do want to date and if he then cancels on you, you just don't care anymore? I gave him a chance now didn't I?

I'm exactly like that, too. I was kind of seeing this guy a few years ago, we went on a few dates and even though my feelings weren't that strong for him, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He kept messing up and cancelling last-minute, while I was nearly ready to leave. So I just stopped caring and he started calling me names for leading him on (which I didn't do at all). There was another guy after him, maybe a year or so later, and deciding that it would be unfair to judge him off of the guys I've met in the past, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I shouldn't have. I've been pretty reserved since and haven't had a date in a year and a half. I hate it sometimes, and people say I'm in denial of finding that one special guy, but I honestly don't know if I can get through another bad guy again.

[Uh Blah]

Jealousy is something only teenagers should be doing. At some point we all have to grow up & realize there's never a good reason to be jealous over a member of the opposite sex because there's plenty of us to go around. If he/she doesn't love themself then they are incapable of loving another person. They need to focus on themself & make the necessary changes in their life to make them feel worthy of being loved back.

[Rainstorm Jenny]

mad lil' duck and Lou- Great advice!

Janey- I was in an emotional abuse relationship and it was very tough. We would agrue all the time, get into each others face, jealously between both parties was bad. We had no trust in each other what so ever. But as I look back between all the silly agruments we had, we did have some great memories together. We just werent meant to be, especially since he got married to someone else and Im in a relationship with someone who understands me and doesnt judge and is supportive. Course when I get in my mood swings, he backs off and lets me cool down instead of picking a fight with me. I say, take mad lil duck's advice if you really want to hold on to this relationship.

[~Unfaithful~]

Originally Posted by Rainstorm18 (View Post) mad lil' duck and Lou- Great advice! Janey- I was in an emotional abuse relationship and it was very tough. We would agrue all the time, get into each others face, jealously between both parties was bad. We had no trust in each other what so ever. But as I look back between all the silly agruments we had, we did have some great memories together. We just werent meant to be, especially since he got married to someone else and Im in a relationship with someone who understands me and doesnt judge and is supportive. Course when I get in my mood swings, he backs off and lets me cool down instead of picking a fight with me. I say, take mad lil duck's advice if you really want to hold on to this relationship.

Jenny I'm glad that you learned what a healthy relationship is. It takes time and practice

[J@NeY]

Thanks for the advice guys you all are right

We need to talk more like we used to. When we first got together it was amazing and we just laughed and laughed. I fell for him so quickly and he told em he loved me after three weeks. I think having a child put a serious strain on the relationship - I was sick a lot, didn't want him touching me towards the end, and was very annoyed all the time because he went out a lot with his friends and i couldn't do that. So that is where the problems started. And like me laughing on the phone makes him think i am laughing at him and we'll argue. He can leave his socks on the floor and that can cause an argument - anything can. We do need to talk things through, he has serious Jealousy as my best friends are male but he's even jealous of gay guys! Like i said i never have been jealous, i used to trust hom 100% but he always says things to make me angry like "I'll go find a younger chick who hasn't got baggage." when we fight and he has so many female friends i've started to be - But Louis is right, it's childish.

I don't think we should get married, he isn't even living here right now as i threw him out! I'm just going to lay everything out on the table and explain that i love him but something is wrong and we need to stop fighting if we want to make it work i guess.

[mad lil' duck]

That's a good idea J@ney, talk things over...If the love is still there, you'll both work things out...

In my opionion you shouldn't blame having a child and the pregnancy though, being hormonal can't mess up a relationship...can it?? :s
It's apparantly the little things which cause the big drama, just work on that...

I'm a girl with loads of male friends too and I do know that in a relationship this can put some stress on the relationship...Some men have to realise (just as we do) that it is possible to just be friends with the other sex. Ok there once may have been feelings once upon a time in the past, but if both of you never risked losing the friendship over a relationship it's evidence enough for the bf/gf that there's really nothing going on there...

I've been single over three years now...dated probably only 3 times during that period and I'm starting to feel all crappy about that...I may be too picky, but I don't know, I just keep on blaming my looks I'm a good girl to get along with, I'm just ugly

[~*Yuki*~]

[Rainstorm Jenny]

Originally Posted by mad lil' duck (View Post) I'm a girl with loads of male friends too and I do know that in a relationship this can put some stress on the relationship...Some men have to realise (just as we do) that it is possible to just be friends with the other sex. Ok there once may have been feelings once upon a time in the past, but if both of you never risked losing the friendship over a relationship it's evidence enough for the bf/gf that there's really nothing going on there...

I agree and nicely put. Course everyone knows that for a good healthy relationship honesty and trust is very important. If you cant trust your partner when they have the opposite sex for friends especially if those friends were around them much longer before you two met, than something isnt right. Unless the partner is giving them a reason to not trust them or feel insecure in the relationship.

[J@NeY]

Originally Posted by mad lil' duck (View Post) That's a good idea J@ney, talk things over...If the love is still there, you'll both work things out... In my opionion you shouldn't blame having a child and the pregnancy though, being hormonal can't mess up a relationship...can it?? :s It's apparantly the little things which cause the big drama, just work on that... I've been single over three years now...dated probably only 3 times during that period and I'm starting to feel all crappy about that...I may be too picky, but I don't know, I just keep on blaming my looks I'm a good girl to get along with, I'm just ugly

Pffft don't talk about yourself like that. I am a firm beleiver there is someone for everyone. I was single for so long then one day when i least expected it he walked into my life. & You should be picky there are a lot of jerks out there.

I have always had male friends, it's just how it is. I do have a handful of female friends but i just bond better with guys for some reason. And people say it is not possible to be friends with a guy, I think that is total bull. I know from experience it is! I trust my boyfriend with his female friends. Though he gives me reason not to with his lame comments. But ehh. & Yeah i shouldn;t blame my hormones but god damn they went crazy

We had a talk tonight, and sorted through a lot of stuff. Still a long way to go but i am positive.

[mad lil' duck]

Originally Posted by Rainstorm18 (View Post) I agree and nicely put.

I had way too much time to think about this allready

My first year with my ex (only had one real bf yet) went totally ok, until he once said "I'd like to meet some of your friends"...Since I know about 8 or 10 girls and a couple of dozens of guys it was hard to pick out "the good friends" for him to meet...Eventually he met 7blokes and 2 girls...That went allright eventually...But then I got to meet his friends...All blokes and only one girl...I totally hit it off with all the guys, one even became protective over me (something the bf disliked so much that he forbade that guy to ever come along on a group-thing...which freaked me out btw )
I just don't know, that guy was never a threat, but somehow my bf saw him as the big no-no. Even though I went all "Seba is too much, he's too tall, too darkheared, too tanned and too little blue-eyed. And it would never work because I'm too into you" didn't I put things romantic or what...
Anyhow, we got over that stuff, made it to our four-years-together and then he dumped me for a co-worker (who I totally accepted as a just-friend in the days before the dumping)

J@ney, sometimes the long way is the way to go...if you start cutting of corners and take a shortcut, you can miss out on something important...
You should probably even see this as getting to know eachother all over again...Give eachother a clean sheet and start filling the sheet with happy feelings...And some bad, but not too many of course, you just have to keep it real, nobody's perfect

[Rainstorm Jenny]

Wow thats harsh, he just dumped you for a co-worker? Man life can be a bitch sometimes. My ex was jealous of the guy friends I talked to. Especiallya current one that we became close as friends and started to hang out when me and my ex were having serious problems. Thats when he started to go nuts and made dates with this one girl behind my back. I remember one night I was hanging out with my guy friend at his house watching a movie and my ex texted me a picture of him with this girl cuddled up at the movies together to get me jealous and upset and asked me "how does it feel now". After that I lost all trust in him when we tried to stay together to work on the relationship. He kept her as a backup until me and him failed in the relationship when he told me he would stop talking and hanging out with her because it was a threat in our relationship but obviously he lied.

[Talkative One]

Going to be one year on the 7th

[Jaymez_NY]

10 months and going

[Rainstorm Jenny]

going to be 6 months for me and danny on monday.

[twilight15]

I'm confused...
I love my girlfriend...sometimes...
Like, when I'm with her, for the most part, I'm happy...
But when I'm not with her, I'm fine...
Like, knowing I won't be able to see her for a week wouldn't really bother me...
But one day she got like really pissed at me and broke up with me, I was devastated. So, the thought of actually "losing" her makes me depressed, but when I'm not with her I'm fine and sometimes I don't really wanna be with her...

Also, she can be bad sometimes... Like, if I had a long weekend and I really don't feel like doing anything, she'll get pissed off at me and say she hates me and all that crap...

But I love her...
But sometimes I wonder if I really do...
And I don't want to hurt her, even though she's hurt me so many times...
I don't know what to do...