MrsEdwardCullen

Religion seems to be a big thing to people...and it's pretty big to me. Most people try to find a person that is the same religion as them so it won't cause trouble later. But what if you fall for someone of a different religion. What do you guys think of dating or even marry someone whose religion is completely different from yours?


Right now I'm dating someone who doesn't believe in God or Jesus, and I'm a pretty strong Christian. Right now it's not causing any problems because we just don't talk about religion. But what if the relationship gets serious...or what if we even get married? I want to be married in a Church under the eyes of God and I want my children to be raised as Christians. So is it the best idea to date someone of a different religion? What's your opinion?

The Daywalker

ya might wanna talk to him about it.

I am Buddhist, but i want anykids i have to decide for themselves whenever they seem fit to want to decide it. If any member of either side interfers, i'd be mighty upset. Brainwashing of kids bothers me furiously.

It'd be best if like religioned people got together, as you'd share that strong bond, as you'd have that influence in your life, otherwise, it might cause a problem down the road.

MrsEdwardCullen

Well not saying that my kids won't decide for themseleves when they get older. But I want to teach them about Jesus and God instead of nothing at all...and when they are old enough to make the decision on their own then they can. I should talk to my boyfriend about it...but we aren't very serious yet...and I don't know if I should wait...or just talk about it now while we aren't attatched.

Kalika

hey i'm in the same thing, only i'm the atheist (former catholic) lol and my boyfriend's a rather devoted catholic
well here's the thing, maybe this'll help.
when i have kids (with whomever the hell i marry) i'm going to teach my kids about all the relgious, yup thats right, every single one. then i'm going to let them decide for themselves. that's what i did... well not really, i suppose, i do'nt know much about any relgious except buddism and most forms of christianity, and i formed my own decision. i went to grade school at a catholic school and was even confirmed last year.
between my boyfriend and i we have no problems with religion, i respect his relgion. i love him, everything about him. and god is a part of him, so i guess i love that too.
we discuess religion all the time too, talk to your boyfriend about it cuz obviously it bothers you. i love having relgion discuessions with my boyfriend, we agree not to pressure or look down upon eachother, and it's beautiful.

elisheva

I wouldn't get into a relationship with someone who wasn't the same religion as me - ideally, I want to have a relationship with someone who's at a similar level of observance. I want my kids to be raised in my religion.
Even if it wasn't a serious relationship, for me, it wouldn't feel right. [img]smilies/look.gif[/img]
Anyways, you should talk to him about it. If not immediately, then as soon as you feel things are getting more serious.

Elegantly Wasted

I don't think a person should give up on a relationship because of a difference in religious beliefs. It seems sad to me.

I am agnostic, and I can only see it causing a problem if the other person made it one. Relationships are all about compromise and working through your differences. If a relationship led to marriage then I guess I'd deal with things when they come, but if someone was religious it wouldn't put e off dating them.

If I had children I'd also bring them up with knowledge of all different types of religion [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img].

CrabbyCancer69

Talk about it now, don't wait. It might not seem like a big deal right now, but if you do decide to get married someday then it will be a huge deal and it will either make you or break you. He might start to resent that you go to church so much or you might start to hate that fact that he doesn't believe in God. You can't choose who you fall in love with, but you can make compromises to save your relationship.

[ 02-03-2004: Message edited CrabbyCancer69 ]

Sick Boy

Talk to him and see if you 2 can work it out. Tell him how you feel.

I know that am not a believer of religion. IBut I make it clear to anyone am dating. Would I get married in a church, of course if my woman wanted it that badly. But as for my kids, they will decide for themselves. No way am I letting them be dragged off to a church on Sunday unless they want to.

AuburnGrad

Ideally, it probably shouldn't matter what religion one believes in when it comes to matters of the heart. However, religion (or lack thereof) is a huge part of a person's life, and sometimes it's difficult, if not impossible, to make compromises.

Definitely talk about it with him and express how you feel. It's best to get those feelings out in the open relatively early so you both can make a decision regarding where you stand rather than down the road when the hurt and heartbreak can be much greater.

I've been in a similar situation, and it definitely isn't easy.

Monroe

I'm agnostic...I don't really believe in anything, but I don't disbelieve in anything. But for one thing, I don't believe in the church and the bible.

I could never be with someone who tried to force their opinions onto me all our children. If they were Catholic or Baptist or Buddist or a Scientologist thats fine. Go to the meetings. Just don't expect me to alongside them and hold thier hand.

I was raised by an atheiest and an out of practise lutheran. When I wanted to go to church, my mother dropped me off. When I wanted to read tarrot cards, my mother brought them for me. Thats how I want to raise my children. I was answer and support any religous inclinations they have (with the exception of scarificing goats) because thats how I was raised, and I honestly think that its the best way. So, yes. If I was going to think about having children with a guy, these questions would have to be dealt with. I would get married in a church for him but i wouldn't be baptised for him. I would let him baptise our children but I wouldn't let him force them to go to Church.

I think it's a bigger issue when raising children are brought into it.

zales00

My friend is going through a similar situation. She and her boyfriend have just decided to not talk about it because it causes many arguments. If you are seriously consider spending the rest of your life with someone then obviously this topic is going to need to be discussed.

I personally think that you'll just have to decide whether it's good enough for you to just practice your religion and for your partner to not. And whether you'll be open to letting your child decide what religion it is that he/she wants to practice instead of wanting them to practice the one you practice. If not, then yes it is going to be difficult to marry someone who is of a different religion. Or if you don't want to have children that would be a different story. And if that's the case then you have to make sure that you won't just be imposing your different views on religion upon each other. I think having an open mind when marrying someone of a different religion is extremely important. Probably even imparitive. Independent investigation of the Truth. Why can't everyone just decide what works for them? I understand sharing your version of the truth, but after that I think it would be detrimental to try to impose different religions upon each other.

.Zales.

mh67511

I am the same way. For me religion is very important and affects a lot of what I believe in. So I like having that common ground. But my girlfriend is Catholic and I am Christian, but I went to Mass with her and that was interesting. Our views are not all that different.

86MANDA86

I personally don't think I would marry someone of a different religion, because in my faith, you must be married to someone in a certain place in order to make it to heaven. You have to be a worth member to enter this place.

MrsEdwardCullen

My boyfriend is like you. He doesn't believe in the bible or church...he believes something is out there but he doesn't know what. As for church, I myself don't go to church, I'm one who believes the kingdom of God is within myself...so I guess that's a plus because I won't be dragging kids to church or him. I dunno...religion just seems to be a big deal in relationships, because both parents will probably want to raise children differently and I happen to mention God a lot in life and after a while I'm sure it'll bother him. I guess I will talk to him about it.

lilivonschtupp

Being someone that was raised both Catholic and Jewish (not sure how) I have to say that teaching your kids both religions and making them choose isn't always the best idea. You feel guilty about picking one religion over the other. It's as if your picking one parent over the other (or in my case, one set of grandparents over the others). I don't think it's such a big deal to date somebody of another religion, but if it gets serious and you're thinking about children, you may want to make a firm decision.