One Tree Hill - Garbage Men#6 (Anti H/C): Because even Tyler is a member of he Garbage Men

Babss · 03-25-2005, 11:17 AM

Thread #6- Because even Tyler is a member of the Garbage Men

Haley the Poser Slayer- Ridding the world of pedophiles and fashion criminals.

"In every generation, there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the posers, the pedophiles, and the forces of bad fashion. She is the Poser-Slayer. "

Contribute to the thread by "keeping the hate alive, one post at a time"

Our Slogan "Learn the hate. Live the hate. Love the hate" -Susan

"The official Garbage Men smiley" - Chris-----><-----Haley

Past Thread Titles
Thread #5 - Because he's too busy cyber-stalking Haley to learn HTML!
Thread #4- Because Trash Day Can't Come Soon Enough!
Thread #3- Because Haley isn't into being jailbait!
Thread #2- Because in case he missed something, she's married!
Thread #1- Because we smell shi*, and it's not Nathan!

*Anti-Chris/Haley Members*

LucasLuver4Brooke
babygirl113032b
Vilandra-N-Kivar-Lover
kateschechter
DropsofJupiter
tru-calling4eva
welshgirlyUK
luv2chat23
Canadiana
SusanXG
Shauna233
BrOkEn
othchick003
Callalily
HayleyJ
OtHlUvR23
DylanPreslee23
Heather23
BabyJames'Girl
Finn21
babygirl113032b
Jay_10
fhband05
mystic2182
Sarah's Twin
earthling47
M_J_23
BabyJamesIsMine
Immortal CandyGirl
Sassyjoy
BeckyS
Naleylove22
HayleyJ
Heather23
mrsxlaffertyx23
lisab23
kateschechter
Nathans_girl
pinkpretzel
BBallinGurl31
somewhereelse
dare.you.to.move
XxChInGyChIcAxX
tigger&tutorgurl
James_is_my_baby23
naleyrocks23
luvjls23
Finn21
bluerose4lyphe
vaguelypoetic
konstantine23
Vivianaley23
addicted2oth
TiNA 23
Babss
Eternal*Believer
blondechick06128
BryanGRocks2004
miSStakentriSh
LaleyAddiction_213
TaRhEeLPrInCeSs08
NaleyChick101
~*jus5lookin4_her6~*
SirenSong
lil souljah
*Marcie*

50 Ways (and counting) to Dispose of Poser Boy

1- The authorities catch up to him about the last high school girl that he "helped" with her music career. He'll look really good in an orange jumpsuit. Maybe it could be a L&O SVU crossover.

2- On a late night stroll back to the hole he crawled out of, Buffy accidentally mistakes him for a vampire because of his "bad fashion sense" and stakes him. He somehow turns to dust.

3- OTH crosses over with Star Trek and he sadly becomes victim of the fifth-crewmember phenomenon. We could simply beam Poser Boy to another planet with the away team and his only line would be "Captain, I think I've found ahhhh..."

4- In an attempt to rid OTH of extra unneccesary characters mainly Poser boy. He's sent down to Power Ranger land and unsurprisingly gladly accepts to fill the void left by the Blue Ranger. Poser officially becomes the 6th Pink Power Ranger though he has fits about his hair!

5- Poser boy is on his way home passed the local arena where WWE Monday night Raw has just ended, and Walks right into Randy Orton....Randy is very mad and Crushes Poser Boy with the RKO.

6- Poser boy boards the bus to NYC and all of a sudden a flash of light ::BAM:: He wipes his eyes and looks up... "Wha-? What's going on?" All of a sudden Michael and Max from Roswell appear and start beating the crap out of him. Michael yells, "You DMFA! We have to kill you and make it look like you died in a horrible bus accident." Poser Boy, "But why?" Michael, "Because you are getting dangerously close to infringing on "OUR" storyline!" ANOTHER FLASH... Michael and Max walking down the highway carrying paisley polyester pants... Max: "Who the hell dresses that way anymore?"

7- As Poser heads out of Tree Hill, the bus makes a detour at Capeside. Suddenly bumping into creekers D/J who ambush Poser boy with video rentals to get his attention. Dawson, “don’t you know N/H are destined to be together..” Joey’s turn “yes idiot, get a life or different clothes. At least they will get the happy ending!!!” Poser freaks out...all great WB couples are after him now...including Buffy/Angel. He freaks out and jumps on the bus...driving it away himself!!!

8- While on a trip to the OC, Chris runs into Seth who proceeds to kill him by never-ending chatter.

9- Although to be fair, we could kill him the same way by getting him stuck in an elevator with the Gilmore Girls. His brain would explode trying to keep up with all the references.

10- Poser's bus passes by NC's Chapel Hill, where a group of Naley fans try to persuade him to come out, so they can dodge ball his ass! But he doesn't since he doesn't want to ruin his make-up, face or hair. So suddenly the bus gets attacked by basketball balls....and he high tails out of there!

11- We get him drunk at the dock, he slips, hits his head and drowns a la Abby on DC.

12 - We send him to new Salem pre-volcano. Then we watch Poser Boy try to swim through the lava. Crispy Critter coming up.

13- We use the Tree Hill Wayback Machine (that took them from April (finale) to March (Ep. 5 of Season 2) and when Poser Boy applies for the job at the record store, we tell him the position has already been filled, by someone who actually knows something about music and won't hit on all the high school girls who come in there, causing them to buy their music elsewhere.

14- Poser is waiting for the train in the last episode..he see Haley commming, "Glad you came" or whatver he says...haley " I was on my way home but i just turned back cuz..." HIGHYA! She karate chops his ass and says "That's for thinking you actually had a chance. Dumbass" and then walks away...

15- Instead of a dance-off since obviously Poser's pants are too tight for him to move. Jake challenges Poser to a real musician contest where Poser would leave to "Never-land". Naturally Jake has an exceptional performance and intimidates the hell out of Poser. When it's his turn to go up on stage, he freaks out and has a "Ashlee Simpson" moment. And forever leaves Tree Hill and is never heard of again.

16- Ryan Adams, the Korrs and Bono all find out what he did to their song, track him down in Tree Hill and take turns beating him with their instruments. Then turn to Haley and say "your voice was the only good thing about that remake." Crushed by their rejection of his "talent" Chris runs away to join a Tibetan monastery, hoping that he will be struck by musical inspiration.

17- In a quest to be cool and punk, Poser Boy keeps buying pants that are smaller and smaller. Eventually he buys a pair that he needs a shoehorn to fit into. He's caught in a rainstorm without any raingear and the pants get wet and then shrink when drying, cutting off all blood supply to the brain. He becomes the rallying cry for those calling for the return of baggy pants. Apparently bad fashion can kill you.

18- PoserBoy goes online and reads how much he is hated so he decides to kill himself by drowning in his own pool of slef-pity.....because posers are afterall just calling out for attention and when they dont get what they want they commit suicide.

19- In an effort to expand his horizons and try to gain himself some form of getting haley since he knows he has no chance he takes a card from danny zito (from Grease) and tries out for the basketball team...at this point nathan lucas and jake have had enuff and they play a S1 chris in muddy pool...:"its just initiation rights" says S1 nathan....when he climbs out luke and nate each take an arm while jake takes the legs and they let mouth and the other RC guys have the punches...."and now you can leave"

20- Having had enough of Poser Boy and his influence on Hales, the Brothers Scott hatch a plan. They pretend to have a huge falling out over the HCM test thing, very publicly, spurred on by a fight in Tric in front of you know who. Poser, convinced that Lucas is his best shot to get into Haley's pants (the only part he's really interested in, maybe he thinks hers will fit better), befriends Lucas. During a bonding session, Luke takes Chris to the bar where no one checks for ID (Poser Boy is of course not carded because there's no way in hell he's a teenager) where he proceeds to get him roaringly drunk. Once Poser is so out of it he can't even see, they take him to Tim's house, where Tim graciously agrees to pose with PB for some "compromising pictures" in various states of undress. A disheveled, disoriented PB wakes up on a bus to NY with an "I love Tim Smith" tattoo, copies of the pictures and a note from the Scott Brothers telling him they have the negatives, and if he ever so much as looks in Hales direction and or passes through the state of NC again, they will post them on every internet music site they can find.

21- Poserboy emotionally unstable from Haley's butt kicking goes to NY alone and being the itiot he is ends up in Port Charles intead of NYC. Nathan being the cool guy he is knows cool borg boy Jason Morgan (GH) who proceeds into doing what he does best..."eliminating people." Teen Drama and Soap World mesh for the perfect happy ending.

22- Nathan enlists the help of AV geek Mouth to gaslight Poser Boy. The convince him that he's being haunted by the unhappy spirit of Jeff Buckley. Everywhere he goes he hears a whispery voice saying "Poser" "Sellout" "I don't want to be your idol you loser" and "What are you on crack, she's in high school?" His hair gel keeps mysteriously disappearing, his guitar is never in the last place he left it, and the lights in the studio magically flicker on and off without anyone there. Needing help to exorcise this angry spirit, he goes to seek help from the church, conveniently the priest who married N/H, who advises him to take a bath in holy water, stop using so much hair gel, stop hitting on married women and leave town immediately.

23-While in Port Charles his spirit tries to come back and return to NC but he encounters Helena Cassadine who of course is not really dead but she uses her ice princess and her underground time machine creepy freezer thingy to make him live again...but alas the ugly duckling and prince ick also known as Nik and Em discover this and do something good for once by pushing both off the cliff and mistakenly falling down as well. Helena however survives but the other 3 are dead for good. Once again soap world makes the fans happy. The funeral is the party of the year.

24- (inspired by experience): In normal time, it's the Holidays in Tree Hill and CD Alley is very busy....with MEAN Christmas shoppers. One shopper in particular, who doesn't like his attitude and the fact that they don't provide boxes for free...takes a CD and hits him in the head with it. Ironically...it's a Jeff Buckley CD. All of the other customers, who don't like his attitude, do the same thing...and suddenly he's being pelted by CDs...particularly by Ryan Adams, The Corrs, and U2. Poor Chris dies by a CD stoning.

25- Haley says no to Poser boy rite when his bus leaves, causing him to wait a couple of hours until the next bus to NYC. So, because of his rejection from a highschool girl, he goes to the bar where sluts like Nikki have sex with man-whores like Pippi. He gets a little toooooo tipsy, and goes an buys his ticket. On the way back to the bus station, he sees a poster with oranges. He thinks to himself "yummmmmmm i love oranges, hey isnt there like a orange county or sumthin? dude i could be like high off of oranges!" So, goin up to the ticket place he asks if he can have a bus ticket all the way to Orange County (OC) Since this is Tree Hill, and really anything can happen, he gets on the bus and goes to Orange County. When he arrives, he sees a lonely red-head woman sitting on a bench. They start talking, and of course hes still drunk, and we find out her name is Julie Nichol. Julie, bein the whore that she is, convinces him to come back home with her. While doin the "act" Caleb walks in on them. He is so pissed off, that rite then and there, he takes his gun, and shoots off Poser's ass. Before he dies, Julie tells the Poser that Luke was so much better in bed.

26- Over at the N/H thread, I decided to throw Chris into the lake with a bunch of paranas (spelling), sharks, and eels.......

27-Nathan, after finding out about Haley seeing Chris at the bus station, follows the bus (with Haley safely back at the apartment) to the next stop. He is accompanied by Lucas, Tim, and various other players on the basketball team, who are a little bit pissed since Nathan had threatened them to stay away from Haley and yet did nothing to Poser. As Poser is about to board a connecting bus, a group of varsity jacket-wearing, masked men ambush him. The last scene is of Nathan at the beach house on the dock. This time around, as he walks away, the camera moves towards the ocean. Floating facedown in the gel-discolored water is Poser.

28- Poser does, in fact, make it to NYC. After his failed attempt at a musical career, which was ended because of his horrible inability to comply with record producers, Poser ends up smoking crack and sleeping in the gutter. A few days go by and he still hasn't moved from his place in the gutter. A nearby apartment complex calls Sanitation on his ass under the mistaken belief that he is roadkill or at the very least an injured animal. Sanitation officials, without removing the huge winter coat that brought on the appearance of roadkill in the first place, decide to take him to a local veterinarian. The vet, after proclaiming that Poser is indeed alive and human, decides to do the world a favor and put him to sleep anyways.

29- Poser boy decides to take a couple classes at the community college. He had to read a few books which unfortunately is too much for his small brain. It can't handle the normal use of brain power, so it explodes.

30- Before gettting on the bus, Poser boy sees Deb who finally arrived to pay him off for his deeds. They argue because Poser failed miserably and in a freak, unexplained turn of events the "twins" take over and jump on poser. Suffocation sets in and Deb scrounges her pay off money out of his pockets and slinks away. Dan in a near by car video records the event (duhn dun duuuuuuun).

31-Chris shows up instead of Tyler at Jingle Jam and Denise3 loses her mind and goes all Matrix on him.

32- Haley escorts Chris to the bus, as they are waiting to cross the street, another bus going wayyy over the speed limit is headed, Haley then pushes Poser out on the street, then WAAAAMMM he's a fly on the windshield. The busdriver them turns on his wipers to discard of any leftover Poser on the windshield as Haley skips back to her husband who is laughing hysterically.

33- Jake deciding to get Rick out of Peyon's life for good, calls the police and drops a dime on the friendly neighborhood cocaine dealer. A sting is set up at Tric, but is known only to certain people. Nathan becomes aware of it, plants drugs in Poser Boy's guitar case, and he and Rick are both arrested in the sting. Then Nathan "innocently" lets slip to other inmates that Poser Boy is the one who reported Rick to the police in the first place, and his lurid fascination with young girls. You know how they love informants and pedophiles in prison.

34- All of us Poser haters here pull a 'Gone in 60 Seconds' heist where we rob Dan of all his luxurious cars and head out to find Poser. When we finally find him, we kidnap him along with Deb, who doesn't seem to mind the attention Poser is giving her twins! We get back to the house and wait for Danny boy to arrive...of course when he does all hell breaks loose. He finds his wife, once again, in a questionable manner this time with Poser boy, who seems more like he was violated!!! Remember all along he wanted Nathan instead. Finally Dan disposes of both Deb and Poser while we're all celebrating...2 down.

35- after boarding the bus/train outta Tree Hill there arose such a clatter. Poser Boy sprang from his seat to see what was the matter. When what to his wondering eyes should appear, but a shiny red sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer. Then the bus was startled as a thud came from the toilet... and Santa was heard saying, "WTF? Whatever happened to chimneys?" Poser boy threw open the door as Santa stepped out... He looked at poor Poser Boy and started to shout... "You're on the naughty list this year lad... You messed with Haley and that makes you BAD! Now say your good byes and climb in the toilet. I got a size 12 boot and it has your name on it!" As Santa and Poser Boy fell out of site... a happy holiday Tree Hill to all and to all a Good Night!

36- Denise kidnaps Tyler Hilton from the venue and he is not available to ever do a Chris scene again. She takes him to Karen's Cafe where all the other posters force him into inventory. (IF you've been to K'sC thread then you know this is a great way to go!

37- Chris becomes a substitute teacher after his failed music career. Eager AP Biology students overanalyze the humanoid creature. Unable to identify its species, they then decide that he is the subject of their night lab and proceed to dissect him into tiny little pieces. A few attempt to explain the miracle of his polyester pants but miserably fail.

38- Chris-----><-----Haley

39- We call Riley Finn and the rest of the Initiative and report Poser Boy as a suspected HST. They take Poser Boy away for classification, like they did to Ethan Rayne in "A New Man." Didn't they have a special base in Nevada? I always figured that was probably a long and painful process. Perfect for the Poser. Adam can have a new playmate.

40- We lock Poser Boy in a cage with Oz, during the full moon. He gets a hard lesson in zoology. The next morning, Oz is spitting out pieces of polyester pants, with a tummy ache. Willow says, "it must have been something you ate."

41. We see poser boy walking into the Crashdown..he sits down and orders an alien blood smoothy.While drinking it..he notices Maria staring at him with a grin on her face and 10 seconds later he collapses. She laughs evily and says..that'll teach him to mess with my girl. Then we see Maria's
skin deteriorate and out of the skin pops out Nathan. Right before he leaves.. he whispers in to poser boys ear..while poser boy is dying a slow merciless death..dont cry poser boy..wouldn't want your make-up
coming off.

42. Poser and the twins have a party of thier own, next week poser finds out hes contracted STD's from the banshee, and is killed by Deb because she doesnt want Dan and Keith to know that she whored around with a burn-out musician wearin tight pants

43. Lucas shows up and pushes poser boy under the wheels of the moving bus. Haley asks, "How did you know I was here?" Lucas replies, "I didn't... he was just getting entirely too much attention and I'm the WB's golden child!"

44. In a twist of events the WB frog jumps into town landing on Chris. Little birds fly over his head with a skull and cross bones. The WB frog, seeing Chris has died, takes a bite out of his leg and says: "You know, he does taste like chicken!"

45. Chris is standing around Tree Hill waiting for the bus, when out of the sky a huge object falls on him and kills him. Is it airplane parts, a meteorite, frozen waste from an airplane toilet, really large bird doo? No he's killed by an ACME Anvil. Suddenly a silent coyote runs into the bus station, lifts the anvil, promptly drops it on his foot, hops around the bus station, then finally looks at what he squashed and holds up a little sign, "Damnit, he sure looked like a roadrunner." It is the WB after all.

46. Deb's plan will back fire and she'd suffocate Poser with her twins.

47. Three little words - Acme Rocket-powered Rollerskates...

48. Poser visits the Empire State Building immediately upon arriving in NYC. Although he survives the cab ride, just barely, while he's standing on the obversation deck, he is spied by a one hundred foot gorilla named Kong, who judging by the amount of hair products he senses, mistakes him for Fay Wray and grabs up the poser in his monstrous furry hand. Upon closer inspection of what he has grabbed, Kong realizes that Fay doesn't dress that badly and would never be caught dead in leather pants, and what he has picked up is, at least allegedly, male. Unhappy Kong drops the Poser from his iron grip. Just as he is about to plunge to his certain death, Poser unexpectedly and quite hard ends up straddling a flagpole. Eventually the authorities are able to rescue him from his precarious position, but he becomes a permament soprano from the incident and joins the Vienna Boys Choir.

49. During a concert at the House of Blues, Poser starts chattering to the person next to him, talking of himself in the third person. The patrons around him get so annoyed that they try to quiet him down, but alas to no avail. Suddenly out of nowhere from the stage, Gavin Degraw swoops down over our villan and wacks him across the head with his turbo charged keyboard, effectively causing Poser to fly across the room and then fall down the long bumpy staircase and into a puddle of goo, never to be seen again!

50. Jack decides to crossover from "24" to Tree Hill and toss poser boy's ass into that hotel with the creepy killer virus. Poser boy's body liquifies in minutes!

51. First off, nathan tells chris he is going to call a "truce" so he invites him to the tree hill gym...but when chris gets there the whole entire tree hill basketball team is there and they all throw balls at his balls and then at his head...and this makes him lose consiciousness...then nathan takes his body, ties him up and throws him into the river and a bost runs over him and BOOM hes gone!

52. Nathan followed haley to go see chris...when he gets there he pulls haley behind him and then he "pants" chris right in front of the public!! then chris runs away like a little sissy girl.

53. It's Tuesday night at 9pm. A WB exec pulls him aside and asks him if he wants to watch himself on TV. He says "sure." What Poser boy doesn't know is that it's hiatus for OTH, and "High School Reunion" is on instead. They lock Poser boy in a room so he's stuck watching a HSR marathon. He goes insane.

54. Even Taylor James dismissed him! (and that's saying something!)

55. The Garbage Men (aka us) Grab him while he's trying to mack on some poor girl with his third person vocabulary (or man) We throw him in the garbage truck, where he is then being smushed. We then make it to the landfill, dump him where he is now run over by the huge plow that downsizes the garbage. This is one time where NOT RECYCLING is friendly to the environment (Lauren)

56. Start a rumour that Chris has a thing going with BK, then let he and BPR beat the snot out of each other to the death. Two problems gone. (Erin)

57. We force poser boy to watch Daredevil and he dies from sheer boredom. (Susan)

58. Shoot Poser into space with sarcastic robots and make him watch cheesy movies and General Hospital short films. I doubt he'd be as entertaining as Joel and Tom Servo and Crow would probably kill him shortly, because he'd actually be liking those damned movies. First up, "This Island Earth can be yours if the price is right." (Erin)

59. Tied down spread eagled in the desert with a an open bottle of water just beyond the reach of his hand. Cue the buzzards. (Erin)

60. Happy thought: Poser is killed in a horrible accident and by some bureaucratic mixup end up in heaven. First person he meets is Jeff Buckley who proceeds to give him a huge verbal smackdown and then presses the down button to fix the mistake. First thing the devil says when he sees him, "Oh goody, now I can add musical torture to my repertoire. You'll have them begging for mercy. Quick, play When the Stars Go Blue." (Erin)

61. Poser is killed in an accident (horrible and gruesome), then because he sucked as a human being the first time around, gets reincarnated and sent back to earth as a woman, in the hopes that he can earn his way next to Jeff Buckley in heaven (Buckley is quietly pleading with the Big Guy not to let this happen). He experiences his first monthly visit. Believing that he's dying, he goes to someone upstairs and asks what's going on because he was supposed to be getting a second chance here, why are they killing him so soon. The man upstairs explains that as a woman, this is something that he will get to experience every month. Poser decides to forget about his second chance and is sent where he belongs. St. Peter and Jeff Buckley quietly high five each other. (Erin)

62. A lite match. Wouldn't Take Much! (Inspired by Doreen)

*****

Hil : Guys, this is a serious question ! What do you think of them together ?

James : They don't belong together !
Chad : Yes, they are so... eww, i can't even think of it

Sophia : We talk about that with tyler and we both think, it's totally disgusting

I heard about a thread anti HC ! Maybe we can ask them to add us ?

Chad : Tyler said that too !

*****

Well it sucks but I can change it ! We need more fanarts and icons anti H/C. and the pics in the beginning can't be found, i will post some other this week-end

**+supernova+** · 03-25-2005, 11:22 AM

Thanks for starting the thread Babss, I was too busy sleeping in!

Jordan23 · 03-25-2005, 11:22 AM

Babss, great job. Liked the whole picture/commentary thing you did.

I have to leave now...be back later.

LaleyAddiction_213 · 03-25-2005, 11:25 AM

yeah new thread... someone add me to the list... i totally diss like these two... its just plain wrong!

kateschechter · 03-25-2005, 11:26 AM

Fabulous thread start. I love the title and the picture commentary you posted.

I hate Poser more than...working late when I'm supposed to be getting off early.

BabyJamesIsMine · 03-25-2005, 11:27 AM

thanks for the new thread babss

thanks for the title pat

LaleyAddiction_213 · 03-25-2005, 11:30 AM

oh your playing... i hate poser boy more than (blank) over here too?? awesome...

i'm playin !!

Babss · 03-25-2005, 11:32 AM

Oh.. it's worked !! My comp crashed down so i think it didn't work !!!

Pat I already miss you friend
LaleyAddiction_213, i will add you right now

Keep the Game on !

LaleyAddiction_213 · 03-25-2005, 11:35 AM

yays thanks BABSS.

MTVVJ08 · 03-25-2005, 11:36 AM

Yayyyy!!! New thread! Hey ca nI be aded to the list??? OH,And did Tyler really say he hated them as a couple! That would be great!

Babss · 03-25-2005, 11:38 AM

I don't know if Tyler said something like this but you are right. IT WOULD BE GREAT

LaleyAddiction_213 · 03-25-2005, 11:38 AM

LOL, that would hilarious if he really said that.... if he did...its fine with me..

Callalily · 03-25-2005, 11:39 AM

This title is funny!

Babss · 03-25-2005, 11:41 AM

Colie you are added.. Welcome

LaleyAddiction_213 · 03-25-2005, 11:42 AM

yeah, i'm finally added...i know the title is pretty funny...lol