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| Moderator Support Team   | Garbage Men #3 (Anti H/C)- Because Haley isn't into being jailbait  Thread #3- Because Haley isn't into being jailbait Haley the Poser Slayer- Ridding the world of pedophiles and fashion criminals. "In every generation, there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the posers, the pedophiles, and the forces of bad fashion. She is the Poser-Slayer. " Contribute to the thread by "keeping the hate alive, one post at a time" Our Slogan "Learn the hate. Live the hate. Love the hate"-Susan "The official Garbage Men smiley" - Chris----->  <-----HaleyPast Thread Titles Thread #2- Because in case he missed something, she's married! Thread #1- Because we smell shi*, and it's not Nathan! *Anti-Chris/Haley Members* LucasLuver4Brooke babygirl113032b Vilandra-N-Kivar kateschechter DropsofJupiter tru-calling4eva welshgirlyUK luv2chat23 Canadiana SusanXG Shauna233 BrOkEn othchick003 Callalily HayleyJ OtHlUvR23 DylanPreslee23 Heather23 BabyJames'Girl Finn21 babygirl113032b Jay_10 fhband05 mystic2182 Sarah's Twin earthling47 M_J_23 BabyJamesIsMine Immortal CandyGirl Sassyjoy BeckyS Naleylove22 HayleyJ Heather23 mrsxlaffertyx23 lisab23 kateschechter Nathans_girl pinkpretzel BBallinGurl31 somewhereelse dare.you.to.move XxChInGyChIcAxX tigger&tutorgurl James_is_my_baby23 naleyrocks23 luvjls23 50 Ways to Dispose of Poser Boy 1- The authorities catch up to him about the last high school girl that he "helped" with her music career. He'll look really good in an orange jumpsuit. Maybe it could be a L&O SVU crossover. 2- On a late night stroll back to the hole he crawled out of, Buffy accidentally mistakes him for a vampire because of his "bad fashion sense" and stakes him. He somehow turns to dust. 3- OTH crosses over with Star Trek and he sadly becomes victim of the fifth-crewmember phenomenon. We could simply beam Poser Boy to another planet with the away team and his only line would be "Captain, I think I've found ahhhh..." 4- In an attempt to rid OTH of extra unneccesary characters mainly Poser boy. He's sent down to Power Ranger land and unsurprisingly gladly accepts to fill the void left by the Blue Ranger. Poser officially becomes the 6th Pink Power Ranger though he has fits about his hair! 5- Poser boy is on his way home passed the local arena where WWE Monday night Raw has just ended, and Walks right into Randy Orton....Randy is very mad and Crushes Poser Boy with the RKO. 6- Poser boy boards the bus to NYC and all of a sudden a flash of light ::BAM:: He wipes his eyes and looks up... "Wha-? What's going on?" All of a sudden Michael and Max from Roswell appear and start beating the crap out of him. Michael yells, "You DMFA! We have to kill you and make it look like you died in a horrible bus accident." Poser Boy, "But why?" Michael, "Because you are getting dangerously close to infringing on "OUR" storyline!" ANOTHER FLASH... Michael and Max walking down the highway carrying paisley polyester pants... Max: "Who the hell dresses that way anymore?" 7- As Poser heads out of Tree Hill, the bus makes a detour at Capeside. Suddenly bumping into creekers D/J who ambush Poser boy with video rentals to get his attention. Dawson, “don’t you know N/H are destined to be together..” Joey’s turn “yes idiot, get a life or different clothes. At least they will get the happy ending!!!” Poser freaks out...all great WB couples are after him now...including Buffy/Angel. He freaks out and jumps on the bus...driving it away himself!!! 8- While on a trip to the OC, Chris runs into Seth who proceeds to kill him by never-ending chatter. 9- Although to be fair, we could kill him the same way by getting him stuck in an elevator with the Gilmore Girls. His brain would explode trying to keep up with all the references. 10- Poser's bus passes by NC's Chapel Hill, where a group of Naley fans try to persuade him to come out, so they can dodge ball his ass! But he doesn't since he doesn't want to ruin his make-up, face or hair. So suddenly the bus gets attacked by basketball balls....and he high tails out of there! 11- We get him drunk at the dock, he slips, hits his head and drowns a la Abby on DC. 12 - We send him to new Salem pre-volcano. Then we watch Poser Boy try to swim through the lava. Crispy Critter coming up. 13- We use the Tree Hill Wayback Machine (that took them from April (finale) to March (Ep. 5 of Season 2) and when Poser Boy applies for the job at the record store, we tell him the position has already been filled, by someone who actually knows something about music and won't hit on all the high school girls who come in there, causing them to buy their music elsewhere. 14- Poser is waiting for the train in the last episode..he see Haley commming, "Glad you came" or whatver he says...haley " I was on my way home but i just turned back cuz..." HIGHYA! She karate chops his ass and says "That's for thinking you actually had a chance. Dumbass" and then walks away... 15- Instead of a dance-off since obviously Poser's pants are too tight for him to move. Jake challenges Poser to a real musician contest where Poser would leave to "Never-land". Naturally Jake has an exceptional performance and intimidates the hell out of Poser. When it's his turn to go up on stage, he freaks out and has a "Ashlee Simpson" moment. And forever leaves Tree Hill and is never heard of again. 16- Ryan Adams, the Korrs and Bono all find out what he did to their song, track him down in Tree Hill and take turns beating him with their instruments. Then turn to Haley and say "your voice was the only good thing about that remake." Crushed by their rejection of his "talent" Chris runs away to join a Tibetan monastery, hoping that he will be struck by musical inspiration. 17- In a quest to be cool and punk, Poser Boy keeps buying pants that are smaller and smaller. Eventually he buys a pair that he needs a shoehorn to fit into. He's caught in a rainstorm without any raingear and the pants get wet and then shrink when drying, cutting off all blood supply to the brain. He becomes the rallying cry for those calling for the return of baggy pants. Apparently bad fashion can kill you. 18- PoserBoy goes online and reads how much he is hated so he decides to kill himself by drowning in his own pool of slef-pity.....because posers are afterall just calling out for attention and when they dont get what they want they commit suicide. 19- In an effort to expand his horizons and try to gain himself some form of getting haley since he knows he has no chance he takes a card from danny zito (from Grease) and tries out for the basketball team...at this point nathan lucas and jake have had enuff and they play a S1 chris in muddy pool...:"its just initiation rights" says S1 nathan....when he climbs out luke and nate each take an arm while jake takes the legs and they let mouth and the other RC guys have the punches...."and now you can leave" 20- Having had enough of Poser Boy and his influence on Hales, the Brothers Scott hatch a plan. They pretend to have a huge falling out over the HCM test thing, very publicly, spurred on by a fight in Tric in front of you know who. Poser, convinced that Lucas is his best shot to get into Haley's pants (the only part he's really interested in, maybe he thinks hers will fit better), befriends Lucas. During a bonding session, Luke takes Chris to the bar where no one checks for ID (Poser Boy is of course not carded because there's no way in hell he's a teenager) where he proceeds to get him roaringly drunk. Once Poser is so out of it he can't even see, they take him to Tim's house, where Tim graciously agrees to pose with PB for some "compromising pictures" in various states of undress. A disheveled, disoriented PB wakes up on a bus to NY with an "I love Tim Smith" tattoo, copies of the pictures and a note from the Scott Brothers telling him they have the negatives, and if he ever so much as looks in Hales direction and or passes through the state of NC again, they will post them on every internet music site they can find. 21- Poserboy emotionally unstable from Haley's butt kicking goes to NY alone and being the itiot he is ends up in Port Charles intead of NYC. Nathan being the cool guy he is knows cool borg boy Jason Morgan (GH) who proceeds into doing what he does best..."eliminating people." Teen Drama and Soap World mesh for the perfect happy ending. 22- Nathan enlists the help of AV geek Mouth to gaslight Poser Boy. The convince him that he's being haunted by the unhappy spirit of Jeff Buckley. Everywhere he goes he hears a whispery voice saying "Poser" "Sellout" "I don't want to be your idol you loser" and "What are you on crack, she's in high school?" His hair gel keeps mysteriously disappearing, his guitar is never in the last place he left it, and the lights in the studio magically flicker on and off without anyone there. Needing help to exorcise this angry spirit, he goes to seek help from the church, conveniently the priest who married N/H, who advises him to take a bath in holy water, stop using so much hair gel, stop hitting on married women and leave town immediately. 23-While in Port Charles his spirit tries to come back and return to NC but he encounters Helena Cassadine who of course is not really dead but she uses her ice princess and her underground time machine creepy freezer thingy to make him live again...but alas the ugly duckling and prince ick also known as Nik and Em discover this and do something good for once by pushing both off the cliff and mistakenly falling down as well. Helena however survives but the other 3 are dead for good. Once again soap world makes the fans happy. The funeral is the party of the year. 24- (inspired by experience): In normal time, it's the Holidays in Tree Hill and CD Alley is very busy....with MEAN Christmas shoppers. One shopper in particular, who doesn't like his attitude and the fact that they don't provide boxes for free...takes a CD and hits him in the head with it. Ironically...it's a Jeff Buckley CD. All of the other customers, who don't like his attitude, do the same thing...and suddenly he's being pelted by CDs...particularly by Ryan Adams, The Corrs, and U2. Poor Chris dies by a CD stoning. 25- Haley says no to Poser boy rite when his bus leaves, causing him to wait a couple of hours until the next bus to NYC. So, because of his rejection from a highschool girl, he goes to the bar where sluts like Nikki have sex with man-whores like Pippi. He gets a little toooooo tipsy, and goes an buys his ticket. On the way back to the bus station, he sees a poster with oranges. He thinks to himself "yummmmmmm i love oranges, hey isnt there like a orange county or sumthin? dude i could be like high off of oranges!" So, goin up to the ticket place he asks if he can have a bus ticket all the way to Orange County (OC) Since this is Tree Hill, and really anything can happen, he gets on the bus and goes to Orange County. When he arrives, he sees a lonely red-head woman sitting on a bench. They start talking, and of course hes still drunk, and we find out her name is Julie Nichol. Julie, bein the whore that she is, convinces him to come back home with her. While doin the "act" Caleb walks in on them. He is so pissed off, that rite then and there, he takes his gun, and shoots off Poser's ass. Before he dies, Julie tells the Poser that Luke was so much better in bed. 26- Over at the N/H thread, I decided to throw Chris into the lake with a bunch of paranas (spelling), sharks, and eels....... 27-Nathan, after finding out about Haley seeing Chris at the bus station, follows the bus (with Haley safely back at the apartment) to the next stop. He is accompanied by Lucas, Tim, and various other players on the basketball team, who are a little bit pissed since Nathan had threatened them to stay away from Haley and yet did nothing to Poser. As Poser is about to board a connecting bus, a group of varsity jacket-wearing, masked men ambush him. The last scene is of Nathan at the beach house on the dock. This time around, as he walks away, the camera moves towards the ocean. Floating facedown in the gel-discolored water is Poser. 28- Poser does, in fact, make it to NYC. After his failed attempt at a musical career, which was ended because of his horrible inability to comply with record producers, Poser ends up smoking crack and sleeping in the gutter. A few days go by and he still hasn't moved from his place in the gutter. A nearby apartment complex calls Sanitation on his ass under the mistaken belief that he is roadkill or at the very least an injured animal. Sanitation officials, without removing the huge winter coat that brought on the appearance of roadkill in the first place, decide to take him to a local veterinarian. The vet, after proclaiming that Poser is indeed alive and human, decides to do the world a favor and put him to sleep anyways. 29- Poser boy decides to take a couple classes at the community college. He had to read a few books which unfortunately is too much for his small brain. It can't handle the normal use of brain power, so it explodes. 30- Before gettting on the bus, Poser boy sees Deb who finally arrived to pay him off for his deeds. They argue because Poser failed miserably and in a freak, unexplained turn of events the "twins" take over and jump on poser. Suffocation sets in and Deb scrounges her pay off money out of his pockets and slinks away. Dan in a near by car video records the event (duhn dun duuuuuuun). 31-Chris shows up instead of Tyler at Jingle Jam and Denise3 loses her mind and goes all Matrix on him. 32- Haley escorts Chris to the bus, as they are waiting to cross the street, another bus going wayyy over the speed limit is headed, Haley then pushes Poser out on the street, then WAAAAMMM he's a fly on the windshield. The busdriver them turns on his wipers to discard of any leftover Poser on the windshield as Haley skips back to her husband who is laughing hysterically. 33- Jake deciding to get Rick out of Peyon's life for good, calls the police and drops a dime on the friendly neighborhood cocaine dealer. A sting is set up at Tric, but is known only to certain people. Nathan becomes aware of it, plants drugs in Poser Boy's guitar case, and he and Rick are both arrested in the sting. Then Nathan "innocently" lets slip to other inmates that Poser Boy is the one who reported Rick to the police in the first place, and his lurid fascination with young girls. You know how they love informants and pedophiles in prison. 34- All of us Poser haters here pull a 'Gone in 60 Seconds' heist where we rob Dan of all his luxurious cars and head out to find Poser. When we finally find him, we kidnap him along with Deb, who doesn't seem to mind the attention Poser is giving her twins! We get back to the house and wait for Danny boy to arrive...of course when he does all hell breaks loose. He finds his wife, once again, in a questionable manner this time with Poser boy, who seems more like he was violated!!! Remember all along he wanted Nathan instead. Finally Dan disposes of both Deb and Poser while we're all celebrating...2 down. 35- after boarding the bus/train outta Tree Hill there arose such a clatter. Poser Boy sprang from his seat to see what was the matter. When what to his wondering eyes should appear, but a shiny red sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer. Then the bus was startled as a thud came from the toilet... and Santa was heard saying, "WTF? Whatever happened to chimneys?" Poser boy threw open the door as Santa stepped out... He looked at poor Poser Boy and started to shout... "You're on the naughty list this year lad... You messed with Haley and that makes you BAD! Now say your good byes and climb in the toilet. I got a size 12 boot and it has your name on it!" As Santa and Poser Boy fell out of site... a happy holiday Tree Hill to all and to all a Good Night! 36- Denise kidnaps Tyler Hilton from the venue and he is not available to ever do a Chris scene again. She takes him to Karen's Cafe where all the other posters force him into inventory. (IF you've been to K'sC thread then you know this is a great way to go! 37- Chris becomes a substitute teacher after his failed music career. Eager AP Biology students overanalyze the humanoid creature. Unable to identify its species, they then decide that he is the subject of their night lab and proceed to dissect him into tiny little pieces. A few attempt to explain the miracle of his polyester pants but miserably fail. 38- Chris-----> <-----Haley 39- We call Riley Finn and the rest of the Initiative and report Poser Boy as a suspected HST. They take Poser Boy away for classification, like they did to Ethan Rayne in "A New Man." Didn't they have a special base in Nevada? I always figured that was probably a long and painful process. Perfect for the Poser. Adam can have a new playmate. 40- We lock Poser Boy in a cage with Oz, during the full moon. He gets a hard lesson in zoology. The next morning, Oz is spitting out pieces of polyester pants, with a tummy ache. Willow says, "it must have been something you ate." 41. We see poser boy walking into the Crashdown..he sits down and orders an alien blood smoothy.While drinking it..he notices Maria staring at him with a grin on her face and 10 seconds later he collapses. She laughs evily and says..that'll teach him to mess with my girl. Then we see Maria's skin deteriorate and out of the skin pops out Nathan. Right before he leaves.. he whispers in to poser boys ear..while poser boy is dying a slow merciless death..dont cry poser boy..wouldn't want your make-up coming off. 42. Poser and the twins have a party of thier own, next week poser finds out hes contracted STD's from the banshee, and is killed by Deb because she doesnt want Dan and Keith to know that she whored around with a burn-out musician wearin tight pants 43. Lucas shows up and pushes poser boy under the wheels of the moving bus. Haley asks, "How did you know I was here?" Lucas replies, "I didn't... he was just getting entirely too much attention and I'm the WB's golden child!" 44. In a twist of events the WB frog jumps into town landing on Chris. Little birds fly over his head with a skull and cross bones. The WB frog, seeing Chris has died, takes a bite out of his leg and says: "You know, he does taste like chicken!" 45. Chris is standing around Tree Hill waiting for the bus, when out of the sky a huge object falls on him and kills him. Is it airplane parts, a meteorite, frozen waste from an airplane toilet, really large bird doo? No he's killed by an ACME Anvil. Suddenly a silent coyote runs into the bus station, lifts the anvil, promptly drops it on his foot, hops around the bus station, then finally looks at what he squashed and holds up a little sign, "Damnit, he sure looked like a roadrunner." It is the WB after all. 46. Deb's plan will back fire and she'd suffocate Poser with her twins. 47. - Three little words - Acme Rocket-powered Rollerskates... Manips by Stef    Law & Order TBJ X-over with OTH scenario: by Erin They'd have to cross over with L&O Trial by Jury. Lenny has been replaced. I would love to see Chris Keller show up on L&O, he'd be so ripe for a Lenny one-liner. I miss Lenny. I see something like: PB: Chris Keller didn't do anything to anybody. He doesn't want any trouble with you man. Lenny: Well tell Mr. Keller that he has the right to remain silent. (slaps cuffs on and mirandizes Poser.) Lenny's Partner: You think he might have a personality disorder or something, man? Lenny: I'm not sure, I think any personality might be an improvement, but the pants alone back up an insanity plea. Lenny says: JUST SAY NO TO POSERS!  All we are saying, is give poser hate a chance -Erin __________________ Susanღ|Icon|50K@Criminal Minds!|39K@TayMom|NJ∞DS∞CB And you can't save me now I'm in the grip of a hurricane I'm gonna blow myself away. ☼ Last edited by +supernova+ : 12-28-2004 at 11:02 PM. | |||
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| Moderator Support Team | So, I went with something a little different.  If there is anything I need to add, I'll add it tomorrow. __________________ Susanღ|Icon|50K@Criminal Minds!|39K@TayMom|NJ∞DS∞CB And you can't save me now I'm in the grip of a hurricane I'm gonna blow myself away. ☼ | |||
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| #3 | |||
| Fan Forum's Finest   Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 66,257
| Love the title and thread banner Susan! You should totally add all of Stef's manips tomorrow. __________________  Lea MichelleGrammy Goddess | |||
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| #4 | |||
| Moderator Support Team | I added Stef's manips. If there are anymore let me know!  __________________ Susanღ|Icon|50K@Criminal Minds!|39K@TayMom|NJ∞DS∞CB And you can't save me now I'm in the grip of a hurricane I'm gonna blow myself away. ☼ | |||
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| Master Fan  | Oh god, this is hilarious... well done Susan. I just keep repeating one more episode, one more episode, one more episode But I'm thinking he'll just be around in the opening sequence, so we can see Haley tell him to go  himself, and then he'll walk away never to be heard from again. | |||
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| #6 | |||
| Fan Forum's Finest Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 66,257
| This is from the anti-Chris thread and I think it is too good. __________________ Lea MichelleGrammy Goddess | |||
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| #7 | |||
| Moderator Support Team | Thanks Mel! I keep saying that to myself too!  __________________ Susanღ|Icon|50K@Criminal Minds!|39K@TayMom|NJ∞DS∞CB And you can't save me now I'm in the grip of a hurricane I'm gonna blow myself away. ☼ | |||
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| #8 | |||
| Absolute Fan  Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 6,822
| OMG!!!  I love those manips! Too funny! What is the last one a manip of? Awesome start Susan! __________________ -Doreen | |||
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| #9 | |||
| Moderator Support Team | I think it's from the new "Dawn of the Dead" remake. I called it "Poser of the Living Dead". __________________ Susanღ|Icon|50K@Criminal Minds!|39K@TayMom|NJ∞DS∞CB And you can't save me now I'm in the grip of a hurricane I'm gonna blow myself away. ☼ | |||
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| #10 | |||
| Fan Forum's Finest Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 66,257
| LOL. Chris is perfect as a zombie. __________________ Lea MichelleGrammy Goddess | |||
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| #11 | |||
| Obsessed Fan  Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 5,245
| Susan I love it Great job. My manips arn't that good..  They shouldn't be on the front page.Quote:
hehehehe I could make a movie cover hehehe__________________ ~Pacey & Joey ~ Rory & Jess ~ Nathan & Haley ~ Veronica & Logan ~ Edward & Bella~ | |||
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| #12 | |||
| Master Fan Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 22,139
| at the pics it be nice if someone did a pic of Jason killing Chris.  i can't wait for Chris to get out of OTH for good | |||
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| #13 | |||
| Obsessed Fan Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 5,245
| By request, The kick in the butt. Santa will be Nathan  __________________ ~Pacey & Joey ~ Rory & Jess ~ Nathan & Haley ~ Veronica & Logan ~ Edward & Bella~ | |||
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| #14 | |||
| Passionate Fan  Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,405
| Great new thread and title. I'm so pleased were on our third one already. Susan: After Nathan finds out about the "event that shall not be named" perhaps we should call it "Poser is the living dead." He should be very happy to be putting several states between him and angry Nathan. Thinks back to the Incredible Hulk, "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." Mel: I think you're right and PB is gone before the fifteen minute mark, until the big dramatic reveal of his connection to Deb. I rewatched DTMFG last night. The FF button is a wonderful thing. His whole speech to Nathan was just too rehearsed and calculated, his appearance in TH too contrived. No other person would try to kiss the wife of the guy who just choked him and tell her to run away to NY with him. They made too much of a big deal about Deb saying she wanted to split up N/H, and Dan saying they would get their son back. He couldn't be more obvious if he wore a t-shirt that said I'm a Plant, ask Deb about the Plan. Which would still be better than some of his other unfortunate fashion choices. ETA: Thank you Stef. I love my Christmas present. __________________ I've been a good girl Santa! Points to avatar (and crosses fingers behind back) Watching GH will make you appreciate One Tree Hill. Hell, watching GH will make you appreciate infomercials about spray-on hair. | |||
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| #15 | |||
| Passionate Fan  Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 3,357
| Stef: omg, this thread would not be what it is without ur lovely manips! santa as nathan, priceless!! keep em comin hun! ok, my comp is bein stupid, i'll be back after i get sumthin to eat Erin: i know i know i should be sleepin rite now, but im such an earlybird, sleeping late makes me feel all lazy and stuff, yuck! __________________ -Hirva- *~*~Nathan and Haley forever*~*~ ~"everything is alright in the end. If it's not alright, then it's not the end"~ | |||
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