Spoilers - Gilmore Girls S&S #118 ~ Sorry, PA Is Currently Away On Tour - Page 6

Riska · 12-14-2006, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SarahLovesLogan (View Post)

The problem I have with this being a "reason" or excuse for Lorelai, is that Rory is her own person. Lorelai's plans and hopes and dreams shouldn't have been so tied up in Rory to begin with. All parents want what's best for their child. But when the parent starts to demand they know best, even when the child is floundering, that to me says that the dream is more about the parent getting their way.

I am not disagreeing with you about what you posted, I think you are right about Lorelai's feelings and motivations for not attending the court hearing. HOWEVER, I also think it was STILL wrong of Lorelai to not rise above that and just be there for her daughter. A little unconditional support, asked for or not by Rory, would have in no way hurt, and most likely would have helped Rory feel secure enough to stand up for herself a lot sooner then she did.

ITA, sums it all up perfectly

tazzded · 12-14-2006, 11:19 AM

Thanks for the new thread caf.

How sad is it that I'm in L.A. right now and still can't take a WB tour.

katiediaz · 12-14-2006, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mag13 (View Post)

I think, Lorelai's absence in courtroom shows, how deeply Rory hurt her. I'm not speaking about stealing the yacht - it wasn't the reason why she decided not to be there; Rory hurt her telling, that she doesn't want to come back to Yale. All plans, Lorelai had, fell throught at this moment.
And Rory "betrayed" her going to Emily for help....

Yes, but that just makes Lorelai a super-selfish mother. With your reasoning (not that I dissagree with it) it shows how Lorelai couldn't see past her hurt and dissapointment to look into what her daughter was feeling at the time, and WHY Rory had to reach out for help to her grandparents. Rory didn't betray Lorelai by going to seek help from her grandparents, despite Lorelai seeing it that way. But Lorelai did betray Rory by not sticking by her side in such a difficult time.

As kids, sure we make some mistakes that our parents just need to let us "suck it up", but Lorelai didn't even do that. She completely turned her back to her only child and made this whole thing about her, instead of it being about Rory.

blaab · 12-14-2006, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SarahLovesLogan (View Post)

The problem I have with this being a "reason" or excuse for Lorelai, is that Rory is her own person. Lorelai's plans and hopes and dreams shouldn't have been so tied up in Rory to begin with. All parents want what's best for their child. But when the parent starts to demand they know best, even when the child is floundering, that to me says that the dream is more about the parent getting their way.

I am not disagreeing with you about what you posted, I think you are right about Lorelai's feelings and motivations for not attending the court hearing. HOWEVER, I also think it was STILL wrong of Lorelai to not rise above that and just be there for her daughter. A little unconditional support, asked for or not by Rory, would have in no way hurt, and most likely would have helped Rory feel secure enough to stand up for herself a lot sooner then she did.

Exactly, the fact that Lorelai's plans and hopes and dreams were so tied up in Rory is one of the reasons why I feel Lorelai's identity was defined by Rory. So once Rory started to loose the ties some, Lorelai was lost ... so I guess that is also why I feel Lorelai is doing now what most people do during adolescence. Lorelai couldn't do it then, because she already had Rory. Most people figure out around that age who they are in a pretty self-focused way, what is my identity and all. Who do I want to be, what are the things I am good at ... During that time Lorelai was taking care of Rory already, so it makes a lot of sense her identity was based on the existence of Rory, of taking care of Rory and doing that succesfully. I guess she didn't have the 'luxury' to discover herself at an earlier age. An age where most people are very focused on themselves, so she is doing it now after Rory started to built a life of her own and that is why it hurt so bad when Lorelai in her experience got rejected by Rory, because that was the one thing she was so good at ... again, I am sure she will figure herself out though, better late than never

Reasoning on from this line of thinking I would think part of the problem with Emily is that she never had a transitional fase in which she could let go of her daughter. Most parents slowly get to adjust to their kids becoming indepent and during this time the parents also realise they have to led their kids make their own decisions and decide their own course in life. I also feel Emily had the idea she should direct Lorelai pretty much in what is right and wrong in life and how she should have led her life, so I guess a transitional fase would have been needed especially for Emily. Emily didn't get this chance, because suddenly Lorelai was a parent herself and out of that house living her own life. So in a way I feel Emily still has to come to accept her daughter as an adult and led her make her own decisions and not try to meddle. But again she has been a lot better I feel at that since the end of season 6 ...

ETA Tazz, I hope you still get to take that tour!

Fridaynightdinner · 12-14-2006, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tazzded (View Post)

Thanks for the new thread caf.

How sad is it that I'm in L.A. right now and still can't take a WB tour.

Wow that's really sad

. Why can't you take a tour?

roswellcharmed_2000 · 12-14-2006, 11:42 AM

I personally think it isn't that Rory moved in, its that she never told Lorelai about it. That she had to find out from her parents and Rory just sat there and didn't say or do anything.

tazzded · 12-14-2006, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fridaynightdinner (View Post)

Wow that's really sad

. Why can't you take a tour?

My uncle passed away this morning and I'm helping out taking care of things so the other relatives can focus on arranging the service and what not. I'm kinda stuck.

Maybe on my next visit here.

lancer1993 · 12-14-2006, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Riska (View Post)

What about PA actually being a she and the stuff are some puppies

I had this spec last season when PA was sick

So nothing new?

gilmorebrazil · 12-14-2006, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roswellcharmed_2000 (View Post)

I personally think it isn't that Rory moved in, its that she never told Lorelai about it. That she had to find out from her parents and Rory just sat there and didn't say or do anything.

But Rory learnt this kind of behavior from her mother. By growing up seeing how everytime Lorelai was afraid that her own parents wouldn't approve something she was doing, she just hid it from them (like her engagement to Max, dating Luke), it was natural for Rory to think that it wasn't a big deal. Lorelai even admonished Rory when she told Emily that she and Dean got back together in season 5. It was realistic that, at some point, that would bite Lorelai in the a$$.

It wasn't mature of Rory to hid while Emily and Richard delivered the news to Lorelai. But the thing is, our children learn what we teach them, the good and the bad things...

Sandlynn · 12-14-2006, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tazzded (View Post)

My uncle passed away this morning and I'm helping out taking care of things so the other relatives can focus on arranging the service and what not. I'm kinda stuck.

Maybe on my next visit here.

Very, very sorry to hear that. I'm sure your family is relieved that you're there to help out.

lancer1993 · 12-14-2006, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tazzded (View Post)

My uncle passed away this morning and I'm helping out taking care of things so the other relatives can focus on arranging the service and what not. I'm kinda stuck.

Maybe on my next visit here.

Family first.

I think Lorelai last season was hurt by Rory and just didn't want to deal, it fits her MO she avoids.

- She left Max, avoided the fallout and went ont he road trip with her best friend.
- Had the fight with Luke over the car crash, avoided Luke's when she didn't get the apology from Luke she thought she desirved when to Chris and got screwed (in many ways)
- Avoided Luke after SCPP 'cause she didn't want to confront him over April and the wedding

It's a life long pattern which probably started before she got pregnant, I just hope through the divorce she leans something and stops it.

lilmelodie · 12-14-2006, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tazzded (View Post)

My uncle passed away this morning and I'm helping out taking care of things so the other relatives can focus on arranging the service and what not. I'm kinda stuck.

Maybe on my next visit here.

I'm so sorry to hear that. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

SarahLovesLogan · 12-14-2006, 02:09 PM

I'm very sorry to hear about your uncle, tazzed.

I agree with you, Craig, that Lorelai needs to learn to stop running. I think that has been what Rory has been learning this season, so it would be nice for Lorelai to grow up like her daughter did. LOL!

gjoni · 12-14-2006, 02:13 PM

Sorry to hear about your uncle, tazzded.
My thoughts are with you and your family.

wej5541 · 12-14-2006, 02:36 PM

SarahLovesLogan,
Congrats on your 1,500th post!