MissAndieWitter

That's exactly how I feel.

Except you're way more positive than me.

Collins

Gotcha.

That's good advice.

Sunrise at Midnight

Updating a will is a sure way to let anxiety issues talk a hold of you. I really hate myself for letting it take over. The self doubt is running strong. I'm questioning everything again. I shouldn't be, I got good news with the not so good news. I'm not so sure I want a marrow transplant, if a match is even found. It nearly killed me getting prepped for a partial. yeah...sometimes having time to think isn't always a good thing.

Meliana

I'm also struggling with negative feelings and self-worth right now. I have this constant negative self-image. I always put other's needs before my own. I never take time on my own comfort or needs, then wonder why things aren't going the way I want them to. I'm doing my best to combat this, but I've decided now, if I can't get to a good place on my own I'll seek therapy again.

sunnykerr

Oh, I have my moments, trust me. They just tend to incapacitate me. So, if I'm online, then I'm already feeling better.

But, yeah, I really believe there's value in trying. So I remind myself that I try all the time, even if the success/failure aspect of trying is outside my control sometimes.

madness

This is very recognizable for me. I tend to minimalize my own feelings and opinions because I don't see them as important, and cypher myself away. It's something I've always lived with but could never really put into words until I started my internship. I study social work, and it's really affecting it as you need to evaluate yourself and reflect on your actions, and I never see the positives in my own actions.

My internshipmentor told me I should probably seek professional help since it's so rooted in me due to my upbringing and problems in my history. I really hope that might help me move forward as it's really holding me back with forming longlasting and durable relationships.

LLamacorn In Training

When a friend posted on their facebook how their future wife bumped them in the face with their knee... and they were like "My whole face hurts my future wife ran her knee into my face.." my comment was "I'm sorry I hope you feel better soon I completely understand pain I totaled my car last Monday." okay.. So she didn't even comment on my status and suddenly I discover she deleted me from facebook. I've known this chick for nearly 18 years! Like what the hell. A knee to the face vs. totaling a damn car where my whole left side of my body was screwed up for a week!!

Ropetuned

Right now I just wish I could punch breast cancer in the face for an immediate family member.

Collins

I had the best day of my life this past week. I spent hours with someone I've had certain feelings for for months and months, someone who I can never get out of my head. I know we could never be together, but I want this and now I know this person does too. We click intimately and sexually. I was so nervous at first, but. I feel so confident in myself lately, and that's good. They said they'd pay to watch me. Someone I thought hated me for the longest time, so open and everything all of a sudden. My mind and heart feel so.. good? I guess. I can't stop thinking about it. I just wish we communicated more, when we're not together.

I want to work in the adult film industry, but I can't. I've been doing it for free online for people for awhile, pics and videos etc. and I love doing it, but my SO doesn't let me share that stuff anymore. But it'd be awesome to be paid to do it, too.

The two people I mainly mess around with (don't know each other) want to have a threesome, but they've actually met before. I told one of them last night and he took it in a weird way. The other person who doesn't know yet, wants me to do it, and I would do anything without hesitation for them besides not knowing them very well at all.

reason to believe

Yuck, my family turned out to be so dysfunctional.

LeytonForEver!

I don't think I'll ever overcome my brother's death.

sunnykerr

Rose Kennedy (JFK's mother, who buried many of her children) said that you never do get over that kind of loss. It always stays with you.

But she also said that, with time, scar tissue forms, so that the wound is less raw. Unless, of course, something happens to the scar to revive the original wound.

I've never experienced that kind of intimate loss, though I have lost people in other ways, which is why I turn to Rose Kennedy for wisdom. But, honestly, I just hope you're not too hard on yourself. It gets better, and that's okay, but it's also okay that it always stays with you.

And we're always here if you need to vent to someone who won't get hurt or lash out because you have to say whatever you need to say.

LeytonForEver!

Thank you. I still have to understand why. It's kind of complicated. I just hope he has justice. The guilt I feel tho, it'll stay with me forever.

sunnykerr

I hope you get the answers you're looking for. And, if you don't, I hope you can find peace regardless.

Either way, though, I don't need to know anything about what happened to know that there is no room here for you to feel guilty here. It's normal to look back and wonder what would have happened if you'd done things differently, but you didn't cause your brother's passing.

LeytonForEver!

Thank you. I hope so.