retro

hey, I've been better. I hope everyone has had a good new year and feels happy. Welcome Em! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Biznitch

Yeah I am living with my mom, and sister. I see my dad every other weekend. I don't think he really understands what I'm going through with my brother b/c he was his step-son and always treated him really badly, which is part of why my brother went down a very bad path hanging out with the wrong crowd and doing drugs. That's part of why he and my mom's marriage was pretty doomed from the start. I think my mom gets that I need friends and she always gets frustrated and tells me I need to go out and make them but I'm always like where am I supposed to find these spare friends lying around u know? When I talk to her about the dating thing, she always says how with my brother she was always putting herself second and that this time she's putting herself first and that's why she won't stop dating. I might try talking to my dad about stuff but he's pretty hard to talk to and he really has a problem with listening. He never remembers anything I tell him. It just seems like lately everything that could possibly go wrong in my life does go wrong. Even the littlest things like not getting home in time for a TV show, or my cat running away. Things that normally would bother people but not be a HUGE deal. Thanks for the advice though, it's nice to have someone who isnt just sick of me being mopey.
[img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

retro

First off, I'm sorry about your brother. Who is the lawsuit against? If its someone you are comfortable with, it might be hard. Second, I really can't say anything about your parents divorce exept I'm sorry. When my parents got divorced, I was the happiest person alive. Third, I know its hard, but try to make new friends. In your charter school, try talking to whoever sits next to you, no matter how weird they are. Weird people turned out to be my best friends.

Hope everything gets better for you, PM me anytime [img]smilies/hug.gif[/img]

Biznitch

With the divorce it was kind of a relief because hearing them constantly fight was terrible, but it's still hard so thanks. You're right about weird people being the best friends but I dont know I'm just always too scared and nervous to talk to anyone. It always seems like everyone thinks I'm annoying. But I'll try and hopefully it will get better. Thanks a lot, and I will PM you. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

briansluv

Daisy ~ Welcome! I am so sorry you are going through all this stuff with your brother's passing, your parent's divorce, and your school change. I am glad you came here though, this is a great group to talk to about anything, and can help you get through a lot.

I am sooo ready to goto the appointment on Tuesday with the psychologist. We'll see how it goes.

Tomorrow I have to do stuff to obtain my medical records for the lawyers... this should be interesting.

Alison

briansluv

Crossbow? You have a LJ? Can I have the link if you don't mind? If not that is ok too... just wanted to add you as a friend if you don't mind.

My entire back is trying to hurt me. Hmmm...

Alison

retro

I answered your PM, feel better soon.... I've gone through real bad times too.

Crossbow

Daisy -
Holy moly, that's a lot of changes all at once.

First, I'm really sorry about your brother. I can't imagine how devastating that must be, and then you have to deal with a lawsuit on top of it.

OK, news flash for your mom: She's a parent. Her child's needs have to come first.

Your mom will have to start dating some time, but as her child, you should be her first priority. That's not to say she should give up having a social life, but she should take your feelings into account. You just lost your brother, you only see your father every two weeks, and you need her there to be your moral support.

Maybe you could ask her to only go out on dates once a week, or twice a week.

Emzmit

I agree! This is obviously a really difficult time for all of you, with some many changes going on and she needs to be there to emotionally support you.

I know it's easier said than done to make any changes happen in that department but it's important that you do. My dad died about 18 months ago and the dynamics of my relationship with my mum was totally shaken up. There were times when I really needed my mum to be my mum but it's hard to ask for that sort of help when you need it. I know I often felt like my mum thought I was being selfish or feeling like I was a burden.

The fact is, as Crossbow pointed out, a mother needs to look after her children. If you get the chance, try talking to her about how you feel about it. It'll be hard but hopefully it will put you both in a better space.

Gah! I hope that made any sense at all! [img]smilies/look.gif[/img] If it didn't, feel free to smile, nod and ignore my post.

Em

Beautiful_Stranger

Hi all. This is my first post on this thread. My name is Leighanna & I'm (almost) 20 from Australia. For almost 6 years now, I've had an eating disorder. I started seeing a psychologist in early 2002 to get treatment for my eating disorder & it was suggested then that I begin taking antidepressants. I was against the idea then, I wanted to try & get better on my own & find happiness without help first. Plus I was only 18 years old & I admit, I was a little embarrassed I was seeing a psychologist, let alone if she put me on antidepressants. My eating habits showed great improvements & I was begining to feel like my old self again & I was pretty proud of myself for being able to do it without drugs. However, it seems I've had a relapse. There was a stage mid last year, around August where a lot of things were going wrong. My grandmother passed away, i'd had a relationship break up & my parents were having difficulties with general life stuff, amongst all the other daily hassles, like uni, work & friends. It was a really tough time, because it was the first time that I'd been through some major life events since being treated for bulima and in the past, bulima & all my other messed up eating habits were my way of coping when things did go wrong & unfortuntely, I turned to old habits when it all got too much & lost 8 kilos. Though it wasn't as bad as before I saw the psychologist, i was eating & not binging & exercising to loose weight, i still turned to weight los & extreme dieting to cope. I've started to feel really upset & lonely & I can't seem to find it within me to move on, focus on the postive aspects of my life people keep telling me I have because I can't see them no matter how hard I try. I cry at least once a day for no reason at all, I don't have fun despite really wanting too. I want to be happy & I want to be able to look forward to the rest of my life & see a bright future in front of my, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't do it.

So I made an appointment to see a doctor today. My parents have been wanting me to take antidepressent drugs for ages now. They are both on them, but I've never wanted to end up like them, because they turn to them everytime something goes slightly wrong & I always liked to think I was stronger than that. After a really bad weekend, which like most days do for me, ended in tears, my dad talked to me & made me realise that I'm never going to be happy despite really wanting to, if i don't get past this road block. He made me realise that I do have depression & I need a little bit of help & the antidepressants would give me headspace to figure things out & let me start living my life. So I talked to my doctor today about it & i'm going to on zoloft for the next 3-6 months. I expressed my concerns about become 'addicted' i guess, & feeling a little ashamed because I'm only 20, but she made me feel alright about it & tomorrow morning I take my first tablet.

I wanted to post here, because I've read over the previous posts of this thread & despite all the different circumstances of everyones depression & different life experiences, I could relate to all of them & identify with what you all said you are feeling & that was kinda comforting. Plus, it said 'Depression Support' and believe me, I'm going to need all the help I can get! I want to get better, I want to start experiencing life & I don't want to cry anymore! There is a better world waiting out there for me & I just need a little help to get there.

[img]smilies/love.gif[/img] Leighanna

briansluv

Leighanna ~ First of all... what a pretty name. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] I just wanted to welcome you to our thread. I am sorry things have been so tough for you, but I can relate... throughout the last 10 months, I knew I was depressed, but I wanted to try to overcome it myself. That wasn't working, so I am taking anti-depressants too. I hope things turn around for you. It is good that your father is helping you realize how to get past the dark times, and become happy again. We are here for you, this is a great support group. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Today is my appt, I'll post how it goes later.

Alison

Crossbow

Leighanna -

I think you should at least try antidepressants. you can always quit. (Just don't quit cold-turkey.) Depression isn't a weakness, it's a disease. It makes ordinary problems overwhelming to you. Antidepressants help you step back so you can deal with your problems more effectively.

Please read this on Depression Basics.

briansluv

Today's appt was interesting... I have homework!

I don't know about all this stuff yet... it is definately going to be a long road.

I was told to read "Feeling Good" by David Burns... anyone read/heard of it?

Alison

Crossbow

I was told to read that too. It was no help. It;s target at people with mild to moderate depression. In fact, it begins with a quiz, and if you score in the "clinical" category or worse, it basically says it can't help you. I think the categories are something like this:

mild
moderate
borderline clinical
clinical
severe
profound

I'm "severe." In fact, I score "severe" on all depression quizes. You wouldn't think they'd be that uniform! "Profound" is when you have to be hospitalized.

briansluv

Hmmm... that doesn't sound very promising. Especially since she swears by the book. I just hope I am not dealing with someone who can't do anything for me.

Did you read my LJ? I put more specifics into that... some of the questions I raised there I definately still have.

Alison