There You'll Be

Your trip to Cuba was definitely perfect timing to keep the winter from seeming never ending. I'm glad it helped, and that you're doing good with not having the winter blues that much.

Sounds like a convergence of all the not good things at once for you this week.

I'm good. All in all, I've had a few bouts with my depression, but nothing that made me hide in bed.

sunnykerr

Yeah, sometimes you have to take the small victories, huh? We're not cured, depression is still there, but we know that we can manage it as we experience it these days. It won't get us down.

There You'll Be

I think what you just said, knowing that, helps keep the depression from being overwhelming more often now.

sunnykerr

It's a constant struggle.

There are no permanent changes, but it remains manageable.

There You'll Be

I think it's what you said.

Realizing there is no "end" to dealing with depression-no cure, and accepting that, is what keeps it manageable.

At the same time, it makes it frustrating to deal with.

sunnykerr

I think that the idea that life ever gets perfect in any prolongued way is a myth we buy into in childhood, you know?

Life is about understanding what your challenges are and learning to handle them.

Depression is part of that. It doesn't go away per se, but if you can learn to find ways that it doesn't overwhelm you when it's burning its brightest, then that's a victory.

There You'll Be

I think it's a really big victory to learn to find ways to keep it from overtaking someone, too.

I know for me, sometimes it just takes over, and other times it just feels like too much work to make the effort to feel better.

Even other times, I just choose to give in to it.

sunnykerr

Well, the nature of depression is that it will overtake you sometimes. You wouldn't feel guilty if a sugar crash overtook you, would you? Depression's just like diabetes. It's not your fault. Sometimes you can't keep it at bay.

But we do get through it when that happens.

And, also, sometimes we can push it back and not let it get us down.

There You'll Be

I always forget that it's not my fault, when it gets bad. I think "I'm just not working hard enough". I know better, but still.

How are you doing this week? Are things average, better, or harder?

sunnykerr

On the depression front, I'm doing pretty good. It's amazing what happens when I remember to take my antidepressants.

There You'll Be

Yeah, that always helps. I'm glad you're doing okay with it.

I got really hit by a wave of it last night, realizing I may not have enough money for food for the rest of the night.

Then I figured out it wouldn't help me to worry about it, and there are charities around town where I can get food if I need it.

sunnykerr

Good job, you! That's really impressive, being able to talk yourself back into logic like that.

I'm reading a cookbook right now called Flat Broke and Well-Fed (or vice versa?). Anyway, there's a concept in there that may revolutionize how I think about food. The author basically says that we should stop questioning what constitutes a meal. Anything you enjoy and that fills you up is a meal, you know?

If you like rice and "all" you have is rice, an onion and whatever other vegetable, that's a meal.

Of course, I'm sure that the diabetes has put a lot of pressure on you to "eat right," but you need to give yourself a break.

There You'll Be

I think talking with you guys really helped me through it.

That sounds like a great cookbook. I absolutely believe in that type of meal. Does it have a lot of recipes in it?

I never eat right. Other than when I was younger and had family meals, I've always ate like crap.

m&m fkan

I work with a guy who just found out he has a cancerous tumor...I don't know how serious it is, because he was supposed to find out on the 12th, and he hasn't been in to work, on the days I work. I work Friday-Monday (4 nights), and he works Monday-Friday(5 nights. I haven't seen or heard from him since last Monday. I don't know how many people know about the cancer, so I don't know if I can even ask anyone we work with. I don't know who in his family knows, so I can't ask him on Facebook. I don't want to PM him, because I keep thinking that it's an invasion of his personal space. I'm so screwed up.


Edited to add: I know that this isn't a complaint thread, but I get depressed over how much/little I feel valued by people I consider friends.

I get attached to people, and I start to think that they care about me, and then I kind of get a reality dope slap when I realize that they really only talk to me because they sort of have to, because we work together.

sunnykerr

Be careful about how you interpret other people's feelings, especially if it has such a strong impact on you. A lot of people aren't great at taking care of the people they love, at letting them know how much they care for them. They may even be flippant about it when they care far more.

Meanwhile, there's you, going into a tailspin of depression because you've taken what they've said or done as a sign that they don't care...

I mean, feel free to put distance between yourself and people who don't respect you or give you want you want or need from them. Take care of yourself. Protect yourself.

But just because someone is bad at expressing their emotions, or even bad at appreciating you, does not mean that you aren't important to many people.