*M*L*3602

"One thing about being in love is that if you are, you'd never doubt it to begin with. There'd be no question. And no matter how much joy and pain that love gives you, that person always takes your breath away."

The Members

Daisy34 - Kelly 6/14
cute_kitten - Dora 7/12
CrabbyCancer69 - Mari 7/16
Scooby_Doo - M 8/17
Wicked_Design - Tracy 4/8
In Fair Verona - Sibby
PoP NoT SoDa - Dana 6/4
AEOllie - Ash 8/23
�heri� �u�u - Cher 7/4
\m/beefshake-weezer\m/ - Lyndsey
*M*L*3602 - Leslie 8/19
*Ledi* - Ledi
Lexi A. - Erin 4/27
I3rown Eyed Girl - Angie
Can't Behr 2 B Without Josh - Kim
-Kat- - Kat
Suzan83 - Suzy 9/3
Dotson - Dotson 9/29
General Jiang Wei - Chris
your_perfect_drug - Ty 12/13
brendanjunkie - Michelle
Crazy_D+J_Fan - Kelly2
~*Cubby*~ - Patty
CrazyJoey8 - Crazy
fredbabygrl - Dana2
Secret Agent Guy - Drew 8/16
JW77 - Daniel
Ramones85 - Keri
Are You Happy Now? - Shinie 19/1
~Clumsy_Lover~ Shianne
Rosie1370 - Mandy 7/28
*Jamie* -Jamie 1/8
fever4fox- Chimere
Lorelai Obsessed - Suzie 10/3
i heart giles - Mytra 3/27
Anabela - Anabela 12/04
SwingKidPT - Robyn
Age-a-licious - Adrienne 12/19
FinleyN1derland - Finley
Sparrowhawk - Matthew

The BHC Soundtrack

M ~ All Stars - Back When
Chris ~ Adema - Unstable
Kelly ~ Chris Rice - Smile
Daniel ~ New Found Glory - The Minute I Met You
Kat ~ Dido - Take My Hand
Suzy ~ Gavin Thorpe - Out of Place
Keri ~ Blind Melon - No Rain
Tracy ~ Stevie Wonder - I Believe
Dana ~ Cindy Lauper - Time After Time
Lyndsey ~ Jefferson Starship - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now
Dora ~ Daniel Bedingfield - Never gonna leave your side
Matthew ~ Honeybrowne - Texas Angel
Mandy ~ Everclear - Learning How to Smile
Drew ~ Coldplay - In My Face
Dana ~ Avril - I Don't Give a Damn
Erin ~ Fiona Apple - Pale September
Cher ~ Chantal Kreviazuk - Feels Like Home
Ty ~ Jimmy Wayne - After You
Jamie ~ Somewhere Out There - An American Tail
Mari ~ Peter Cetera w/Crystal Bernard - I Wanna Take Forever Tonight
Sibby ~ Lifehouse - Everything
Shinie ~ David Gray - Babylon
Anabela ~ Pearl Jam - Thumbing My Way
Ash ~ Sugarcult - Pretty Girl

Member Websites

Anabela ~ Welcome to Ballyhara
Ashley ~ Just the typical facts of a typical life in a town on the Eastern Shore
Cher ~ Walking Cindrella
Kat ~ http://www.livejournal.com/~_surrounded
Leslie ~ Hope, Love, Friendship
Mytra ~ faz chover
Robyn ~ Sigh...pause
Suzy ~ http://blog.september-rain.org
Ty ~ Sweet T
Suzie ~ Born to try

Couldn't find a small enough title that I loved, so I just combined two I liked. I was curious if any of our new members wanted to be added to the member list? And since we have a few more people with LJ's, do any of you want your LJ's added to the list as well? Just ask and I'll add whatever you want.

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Anabela I'm glad Ricardo is seeing how you won't be controlled by him anymore. He makes time to apologize, but he doesn't seem to learn how to treat others as they should be treated. I'm glad you have Jo�o now, even if things have yet to get serious. There'll be plenty of time for that judging by his comments.

Jay Sorry if this is invasive, but you've never been in love? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I don't think there's anything wrong with it since it sometimes takes time to find that 'perfect' someone for you. You'll find her (if you haven't already) soon. It just means you are being careful and that when you find love, you'll be able to better tell whether or not it's the real thing.

Kelly Ah, these are his hometown friends. I think I was up too late when I read your entry. lol. I don't think it's too much to ask for a few hours with him. They've already gotten plenty more than that. Has he mentioned going to Sea World at all since you last talked about it?

I don't know. He sounded a bit strange when you talked to him yesterday, so is there any way it could have been someone else using his computer when you IM'd him?

Shinie It's cute watching guys sleep. Their guards are dropped and they look quite peaceful. If only they were always so calm.

You have a great philosophy to live by, so enjoy yourself in Prague and have fun with Tom!!

---

Now I'm gonna get off of here. Just got a baby rabbit (details in sig link), so I want to keep an eye on her and make sure she's settling in all right!

xoxo,
Leslie

Cherié £u£u

Good thread title!

Lord knows I try getting all the guys I've cared for.

Leslie- The situtation definetly is a confusing one, and I don't feel it's fair of Matt to say that if weren't for his girlfriend that he'd be with me and then turn things around again. It's too confusing but I know where he stands, he wants me to be happy and I'm going to try to be happy but it keeps coming back to this. What I'm trying to figure out for myself is why do I keep coming back to these feelings for him? Because the feelings were unexplored? Even though the level of intimacy frightens me.

Mari- Happy Birthday, don't get too drunk and share the presents.

Jay

Leslie: nah..don;t worry your question wasn't invasive. the truth is i have never been in love...or been aware of. i had previous g/fs and they didn't last that long...but there was one in particular in which i went out with twice in the period of 3 months altogether. i broke up with her the first time 'cause she cheated on me...and then after awhile we got back together...then i broke up with her for another reason...and mainly 'cause i just didn't have feelings for her anymore. the scary part was that it was so natural..i mean my feelings to go away like that when instead it should be growing but it didn't. it was back in high school... but i don't remember feeling in love..'cause that was yrs ago. u get me? but now that i'm older and matured...i would know that if i develop a crush on some girl then i know i could be in love with her over time. it just depends on the person...if u sense it after many weeks or months...but it's not like i'm thinking she's the one for me as in "IT"....just that she be a perfect g/f to me. i mean u gotta have that connection to last u know. but it does suck being single for awhile... i have so much in my heart that i can give u know...but i know that love is patient but sometimes i have a hard time believing in that.

i currently have a crush...and i can't wait to see her again next month.

btw, i the banner.

Broken Dreams

Okay...this is going to be nothing to you guys...but I dunno...


It all started a while back...I saw this guy who had this spiked bleached blonde hair and these black rimmed emo glasses. He could sing, play guitar...he was the star in the school plays and just the funniest person you could ever meet...It took one play with him as the star for me to fall head over heels...

Turns out he's a senior...not that that should matter...It's just...I knew it would never happen because I was a freshman. (Ugh..this is so childish and stupid)...I didn't even know he was a senior until later...and when I first saw him I thought he was this loner...someone no one recognized...sort of a Seth Cohen, or a Max Evans, if any of you have seen The O.C. or Roswell. After a while of studying...well, apparently he's not unseen.

He got nominated for this competition. Like a Mr. Highschool thing and I went to the big competition and he had to go up against 11 other guys and win the 5 judges votes...they had a talent show, Q&A, fashion show...it was adorable...he was adorable. He sung Tears In Heaven, Blackbird, Time Of Your Life...and he has this amazing voice...and he won the whole thing and I've never been so happy in my life...and then my stupid friends literally carried me backstage after he won and wouldn't let me leave and blocked the doorway...so that I would ask him to that Sadie's dance and gah...I'm just so dumb...and I did...I actually asked him...and he said that he'd gladly go but he had play rehersal for Grease, which was true because I was on crew but still...and he took my phone number just incase they got off...but we didn't...and it just sucked...

So he was in the city play, Grease and he was so wonderful...I actually signed up to work crew because I missed try outs and I got to work with him...and then he hosted the Drama Awards and he won awards and I don't know...I just treat him like a celebrity, you know? I mean, I'm such a loser that I asked to take a picture with him...and he just smiled and said of course and told me that he's not "that great..." And he just doesn't know that he is to me. I gave him a rose, closing night of Grease and he hugged me and I don't even know if he knows my name but then my dumb mom told him while I wasn't looking that I was "madly in love with him"...as if he didn't already know...and now, he's going away to college next year and I'm never going to see him again and I just really wish I had some guts to do something...and he works at the movies and maybe I'll run into him sometime...and I have his screen name...but I just don't have any guts...

And look, I know it's all stupid and dumb to you guys...just a stupid first love and I'm not going into the details that make this whole story fairly good...but I just wanted to share a little. There's really no advice for this one...but I dunno...it's just nice to share sometimes.

-Kik

*M*L*3602

Cher No, Matt was definitely confusing regarding that subject. Said one thing and then acted as if he hadn't just told you his previous statement a little later. It's just hard to figure him out regarding this when you don't know his girlfriend, you know? From what he's said to you, the relationship sounds rocky, but you just never can tell. It's like how the news tells you all of the bad stuff and forgets most of the good. He goes to you with his complaints about her, but I'm sure there's another side when things are good between them, only it's the bad stuff you hear more about (least in that convo). He talks as if things are not the best and as if they don't have much of a connection or how the connection is one-sided. He does love her though, so it's all confusing. I guess the only way to figure it out is to know her or know how they are together normally, which isn't something I think you'd be comfortable with.

Perhaps you just answered your own question. Is the fact that the feelings were never explored what keeps coming to mind when you wonder why you keep coming back to him? This is your gut instinct? Trust your instincts and they'll show you the way. Either way, this could be one reason or the main reason. You've said how you regret ending things with him before they really had the chance to begin. Perhaps this is one of those "what if" situations where you wonder what would have happened if you had taken a different path. In a way, things are unfinished between the two of you, so yes, this could be causing you to continually come back to him. Another reason could be the fear of intimacy you have. You could be afraid this will always be an issue and if he is the only one you can see yourself exploring this side with, then you'd want to try again and finally try the things you were afraid to try before. He's like a best friend to you, someone you can go to for anything and feel comfortable around. Could he make you feel safe and more confident about emotional intimacy? If you fear something, then you'd want to go about conquering that fear with someone you trust. Anyway, I'm not sure if any of this is the answer you are looking for or if it all makes sense, but it's a few thoughts for you to think about and see if anything feels like "you".

Jay I get what you are saying. It's hard to have a serious relationship when you are young. Seems like some are just not ready for anything serious yet. It must have hurt to have your girlfriend cheat on you, but you still gave her another chance. That sounds as if you cared for her, but you broke up with her again, so it doesn't sound like you were the problem. She had cheated on you and must have done something later to cause your feelings for her to disappear. Feelings don't tend to go away for no reason, which makes me think you were right to let her go.

I can understand why this scares you. Perhaps look at it from another angle. Your feelings for her didn't go away for no reason, so I don't think she was being the best girlfriend? Feelings can grow instead of disappearing, but they need to be nurtured in order for them to grow. This is corny, but love can be like a flower. If you don't take care of it and nurture it to the best of your ability, then it will end up dying. Your situation definitely can relate because she made her mistakes in the beginning. I guess this would be where the flower begins to turn brown and looses a few petals, maybe not standing as erect as before. Fortunately for her, she gets another chance and the two of you start over again. Unfortunately, it doesn't work out in the end and this time there is no resurrecting the flower. All in all, I don't think the break up or the way your feelings for her disappeared had to do much with you, but more to do with her.

It's good you feel ready to have a serious relationship! Shows you are doing something right, so have no fear. I'm sure your girl is out there waiting to meet you (or has already met you). Sometimes, I think, we don't meet the person when we are ready because the other person may not be ready yet. It wouldn't do well to meet the person and have it not work out, then give up on a good thing before the one who is not ready realizes it. You'd end up getting hurt and it could ruin any chances of the two of you ending up together or else make things extremely difficult on the path to reuniting and trying again. It's hard, but we just have to trust we are being led in the best direction there is in order for us to meet that special person and have it last.

Crushes are nice! How long have the two of you known one another? I hope all goes well next month!

Ah, Suzy (Suzan83) made our banner! She's the one who came up with the idea for BHC and started the very first thread. Seems fitting to have the banner made by her as well! She's away right now, but she'll be back soon.

Kik This guy sounds like someone you could easily fall for, so I don't think you had much of a chance, really. He has charisma, charm, a sense of humor and a great voice. In other words, this guy can be a danger to our hearts.

I don't think it was silly for you, a freshman, to have a crush on a senior. If I had gone to high school, then I would have had the same problem. There is just something about older guys at times. Either it's their presence, the fact that they are older and perhaps unattainable, or even due to them acting more mature then the guys in your grade. I think it's extremely easy to fall for an older guy when you are a girl in high school. And you've got me at the Roswell comparison. Used to be a huge Roswell fanatic. lol.

I'm glad he wanted to go to the dance with you, but it sucks he had other things to do that night. I don't know. I think you should take a chance with him if he's going to be leaving soon. Sure, he will be leaving, but it's better to know whether or not the two of you have something rather than wonder about it for years, right? I know it takes guts to do this though, so you'd need a plan. How about have some support? Grab a friend and go see him at the movies. One thing friends are famous for is not letting you back down once you agree to do something. Your friend or friends could offer you the encouragement you need to do this and finally get your answer. Or, it may not be the best way to handle things, but how about mentioning something in IM? Not knowing is the worst, so even if it doesn't work out, then at least you'd have your answer this way. But if it does work out, then you'll have some time with him before he leaves and the two of you can figure out how to work everything out once he goes to college. Just because he is leaving for college doesn't mean you will never see him again. If it's meant to be, then love will find a way.

Nope, your story wasn't dumb! And you don't think this story was even fairly good? I very much enjoyed reading it. I love how your family and friends are working together, trying to get the two of you together. It shows how much they love you, even if it feels as if they are butting in at times. I also found your story to be romantic. You supported him when he went to his big competition, then you went to work on the crew he belonged to. It's incredibly sweet and even sweeter the way you describe your encounters with him. Don't give up on this one just yet.

xoxo,
Leslie

ETA: Apparently I get chatty at night, but don't do so well on my grammar. lol.

Daisy34

Hey guys

I have had a long day of work and I'm dead beat tired so I'm not going to respond to everyone even though I have so much I want to say to you guys.

Leslie This is the best thread title we have ever had, IMO. I love it and it's going to go in my profile here soon. I'll respond about Kevin tomorrow.

Shinie I read your LJ.. have a blast in Prague.. I am so jealous of you for going without me That sounds lovely about your walk with Matt. You know you love someone when their happiness out weighs your heartbreak... their happiness is the only thing that matters. And have fun with Tom! I know you will savor every moment. As for watching him sleep, definitely stay up for that. I will never forget the first time I watched Kevin sleep.. one of the best moments of my life. I fell in love with him all over again In honor of you...

"One of the greatest moments of my life was to watch him sleep, to see him in complete peace, only then have I experienced real joy. To love is to appreciate these moments."

and hugs,
Kel

tinka28

*M*L*3602: Yeah things are much better now and his gf wants to meet me! So I may say yes! Coz rite I got my hair done today with streaks and I must say I look HOT! So yeah everything is cool! lets hope it stays that way!

Jay

i think that was the problem..if she didn't cheated on me the first time...my feelings wouldn't have gone away slowly u know. i think the cheating thing messed up everything. it was strange 'cause when i first went out with her...i had really strong feelings for her and i looked at her with so much fondness..but when the second time came around...my feelings were there but not as strong as it was b4 but they were there so naturally we went out again.

btw, i forgot to mentioned one thing, when we broke up the first time, she went out with her ex again....and yea i was alittle pissed off (that's the guy she cheated on me with). but after awhile...she regretted cheating on me 'cause she missed me and all and i was still pining for her. eventually she dumped her ex over me....which i couldn't believe...'cause he's like better looking than me and bigger muscles but whatever.

the fact that my feelings weren't there strongly...i wasn't really committed to the relationship. i was just trying to be a common b/f and i would have been broken up earlier but i didn't wanna break her heart u know. so i kept our relationship going for awhile until i had to end it. i broke up with her on our 3 month anniversary (i think) and i gave her flowers. don't think i did it for revenge at that time...it just all fell on that day.

but i'm glad i was done with her..


well my current crush is Sari and she's in the same program as me. but i'm not having any high hopes...'cause i've been used to unreqiuted love many times.

Can't Behr 2 B Without Josh

*sigh* I'm having a downer of a night... not melancholy, just.. well, he's become mister, can't put two words together. He's too busy to talk. The worst thing is as I was at work today for a couple of hours, I messaged him briefly (I had to add him back to my MSN) then I noticed HE added me..as in I got notification that he added me to his list. Meaning he deleted me. I know I did it... but that was for reasons you already know about. But what were his? In any case, it doesn't matter. Have deleted him again, he's too busy apparently, and he's become mr cold towards me. I know I deserve better, and as I'm going out more, meeting new people, I'm sure I'll find another distraction so I can get my mind off of him.

\m/beefshake-weezer\m/

I had a crush on a Senior when I was a Freshman. I will tell the story later...

Can't Behr 2 B Without Josh

If anyone wants to have a laugh...

check me out with the Shrek characters:

Aussie OT with a pic of me (oooh it rhymes)

Daisy34

Kim That's awesome! You look so cute If you want to see me in a funny pic go to the latest post in my LJ and see me with a giant jalapeno!

Well I'm off to work to spend the night with a bunch of boy scouts. Kevin never called me to let me know so I guess he's not coming But oh well.. I'm thrilled about today anyway.

and hugs,
Kel

Scooby_Doo

Leslie You did say ask and you'll add whatever you want right? Well pics of naked guys them?

Nice to see the edit back Perfectionist :p Who am I jo jest?

Kik Welcome to the thread

Kelly I hope Kevin turns up

Broken Dreams

Leslie-- Are you the queen of advice? I took into consideration everything you said. I really appreciate you taking time to "listen". I know I can always trust a Roswell fan. I'll go visit him at the movies for you and bring along a relentless friend. Thanks for being so great.

\m/beefshake-weezer\m/-- Sounds just like me. I'd love to hear it.

Kim -- Aww how adorable! I Shrek.

Kel -- Cute sig!

Scooby_Doo -- Thanks. How're you doin?

Kik

Can't Behr 2 B Without Josh

*smiles* Thanks for the kind words..

Why are Sundays always the most dreary, lazy days? Not only have I deleted him from my MSN, but also from my phone...

Let's see how tomorrow goes... its been 'radio silent' now for like 2 days, since I told him 'I'm done waiting for an actual conversation'...