petrova

I posted about a year ago about how awful my mom`s and mine relationship was the not trusting me screaming fighting blaming me all the time and making my life a living HELL which in the end I use to cry about it all day every day and that I never did thing`s good enough for her I wasn`t like my perfect sister who is the angel daughter and I am just plane tired of it but there was nothing I could do about it then all of a studden about a year ago things too a change and we became close and she trusted me and we did everything together and talked things out and she stop blaming me. It was a blessing had a beautiful year with my mom were back on track until yesterday when I felt a switch turn off and she went back to being the same old mom who hated me and now that last two days have been HELL trying everything inside of me not to cry but it`s taking a lot I don't have anyone to talk about this stuff with only you friends because everyone eles will tell her if I say anything my sister rats me out on everything I don`t know if this is just for alittle bit or it it will stick but I feel so alone how do I get my mind off it I hope this is a one off but it feels different again between us

Clover1983

I want to know your opinion:

I went shopping with a colleague last Monday. She already wanted to buy a Christmas tree (a real one) and Christmas balls because it is her first Christmas in the Netherlands (she is from Italy). After the shopping we went to her house in Delft and had a drink there. We also talked. She also said that she was happy with me as a friend. But then immediately that stupid social anxiety starts to play! "Is it true?" "Am I good enough for her?" and more of that kind of doubt came into my head. I am not so good at friendships and to call someone a friend.

Am I weird now?

Meliana

Petrova: I'm sorry to hear about how things have gone between you and your mom. Is there anything in particular which sets off these episodes? Is your mom suffering hormonal, health problems, or stress? Have you tried talking to your sister about it? She may have the same problems with your mom as you have. I've had bad episodes with my mum too, and we do better when we don't see each other as much, but she feels as hurt as I do quite often. I'd say try to stay calm, and wait and see if it blows over and if not, calmly make it plain how much her behaviour hurts you, and maybe spend some time away from her in the meantime? I hope others have some advice for you too.

Clover: It is not weird. When you've been hurt repeatedly by friends it's hard to not have those sorts of thoughts. The main thing to remember is to try and put those thoughts away, and to try to see this new friendship in a positive light.

You can have good friendships, so try to look for the positives in this one, and remind yourself you are worth having a friend. I hope it continues to go well.

sunnykerr

The hardest thing to do with family is to remember that they're probably never going to be what you would want them to be, in a perfect world. They've got issues of their own. It doesn't make it okay for them to mistreat you. Never.

But it does mean that their best can sometimes fall short. Having patience with them (when you can, because, again, I'm not saying they should be allowed to treat you like crap) is a way to have patience with yourself, too, when you feel yourself falling short of your own expectations.

None of us is perfect.

There You'll Be

Petrova, There is nothing wrong with you, and who you are, other than being human, just like everyone else. You know what kind of person you are, so try not to live up to what she's saying. Like Sunny said, her issues are hers.

Clover, no, you're not weird. I don't think anything you feel makes you weird. It is hard to feel that way, but I hope you can take a chance.

I was anxious about the Dr., but now I'm sure I can't change results, so it's silly for me to worry.

Sunny, how are you feeling? I know your trip is something you really need right now-a break from everything.

petrova

appericate all the postitive feed back really giving me hope and a different outlook on things and things seem to be looking up today we`ve had a good day together and hopefully it will just keep getting better from here on. Thank you all.

Meliana

^You're welcome. I'm glad things are looking up.

I hope it goes well, today, Kim.

I'm glad you're coping with the stress, Sunny.

sunnykerr

Today's been intense. Glad it's over.

reason to believe

Doc finally gave me an anti anxiety/depressant med to try, starting low and then regular so I’m hoping it will help for a beginning to move past anxiety so I can go do things or stop ruminating a lot since it is also prescribed for OCD which I don’t have.

Around Christmas is when I should feel the full benefits if it works for me.

Meliana

That's great news, Leanne!

Glad you can relax, Sunny.

There You'll Be

That's great, Leanne. I still have anxiety, but the medicine calms me enough that I can carry on despite it. I think it's about time your Dr. listened.

Sunny, enjoy your weekend.

reason to believe

I might even be feeling slightly better just cause I have hope I might feel better! Yeah, it took long enough but the family stuff I told her about finally did it, I think.

There You'll Be

Glad to hear it. It will be nice for you to be able to do things, even though you're anxious.

Meliana

Well done, Leanne. You clearly got her listening this time. I'm glad you're feeling better.

sunnykerr

God I hope I'm not as bad as my mother when I get to be her age. And that's all I'll say about that.