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#31 | |||
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Joined: Dec 2008
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Anyway....many of us have had to endure all kinds of abuse all or most of our lives.....I was able to take an Assertive class in college. It was extremely helpful!!! Towards the end of the 10 week class we video taped ourselves with a video tape we brought. This was 1982 when video taping and video tapes were common. We would practice the talks we wanted to have with the people we needed to be assertive with....not aggressive like we were treated with the various abuses....that way we could see how our body language, tone of voice and word choices were like. We would go over and over until we were satisfied!!!! I only had to go once!!! When I called my parents and told them I needed to cut the umbilical cord and not call them every time I took a test or receive a term paper back...I was living two states away and over 21 and still allowing my parents control too much of my life!!! I said I will always be your daughter but I don't need to tell you every detail of my academic life!!! My mom was so upset she began to cry. I didn't back down...My dad understood. After my mom hung up he said you are an adult. I respect that......my mom didn't get over it for about a month!!! It was one of the most freeing moments for me and the controlling and verbal abuse I took from both parents...I was the only one in the family to go to college.....Anyway....after that I was treated with much more respect from both of them!!! I thank God for that!!! __________________
~Karen~ "April showers bring May flowers"!!!
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#32 | |||
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Joined: Jun 2013
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Am I stupid? A photo popped up in the Facebook "memories" thing and it was of my ex 6 years ago. I noticed that he was tagged in it, which I thought was strange as he blocked me after we split. I checked his profile out and he seemed to be happy in his profile photo with another girl... and my first thought was "you look pretty happy... for a rapist." It made me feel so sick seeing it. I feel like he doesn't get to be happy when I'm still suffering the damage of what he did?
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#33 | |||
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Joined: Feb 2016
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Facebook is dumb with the memories things, it has no idea what it brings up from the past that can be triggering. (I have no idea where people access this memories aspect on FB either).
I find that why would a rapist feel they did anything wrong, if they raped in the first place plus if they had no legal consequences to it or aren’t in jail or labeled a sex offender, they will attack women and go on their merry way! Rapists don’t exactly have consciences! __________________
Leanne |
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#34 | |||
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I think you answered your own question. Whatever notion of happiness he seems to convey, it's not real because he has no soul. And he has no soul, so he can move on quite easily from the past.
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Sunny
"The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die." avie by Jessie |
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#35 | |||
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Joined: Jun 2013
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It was just so sickening to see. I felt bad for feeling bad, when I've moved on myself with a better partner, but it made me feel horrible seeing it.
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#36 | |||
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Of course, it did. It must have brought a lot of crap back. And you're already in a vulnerable place right now. Sounds to me like you had a very normal reaction. Who's gonna see their attacker and be happy?
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Sunny
"The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die." avie by Jessie |
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#37 | |||
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Joined: Apr 2011
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I am glad that I have fond this thread and I have been contemplating for a few weeks now to post in here.
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✨ ”You’re only given one little spark of madness. You mustn’t loose it" - Robin Williams ✨ ~ “How would you like to ride a real Cowboy - Agent Whiskey ~ "Sit down you inarticulate Bumble" - Dumbledore (AVPM) |
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#38 | |||
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We're here for you, whenever you're ready.
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Sunny
"The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die." avie by Jessie |
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#39 | |||
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Joined: Apr 2011
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Thank you
I was mentally, emotionally and physically abused by the hands of my father which is annoying because I still talk to him. I feel like he has a hold on me even though I still have the choice of saying I don't want to talk to him or see him. I have also been touched through my life by men that I was supposed to trust especially my fathers 39 year old friend when I was 4 and after a while dad still allowed him near me. I would say that my mother and aunt emotionally tortured me and my brothers when we were children by locking us outside at nights for a few minutes. I just remember screaming and banging on the door while they were laughing. My brothers and I are closer with them than our father. I am currently 26 and I have had 2 major relationships one went for 3 months and the other went for 12 months. In the 3 month relationship i was able to hug, hold hands and kiss the guy fine but nothing else. In the recent 12 month relationship I couldn't even do anything with him and I blame the abuse I went through because now and then I believe that I have been damaged. I have been seeing a Psychologist because of this and I have been able to control and keep my depression subsided. I have had anxiety attacks more often but I think its slowly being controlled. I hope this makes sense. __________________
✨ ”You’re only given one little spark of madness. You mustn’t loose it" - Robin Williams ✨ ~ “How would you like to ride a real Cowboy - Agent Whiskey ~ "Sit down you inarticulate Bumble" - Dumbledore (AVPM) |
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#40 | |||
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Joined: Feb 2016
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Sorry about your cruel family and the people you had to be raised around. it’s good you see a professional to help you, cause I really doubt anyone could live life as a youngster unscathed from that sort of horrible treatment!
I can see why one would be hesitant with male relationships after the way you were treatment by males in your formative years. __________________
Leanne |
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#41 | |||
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Joined: Apr 2011
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Thank you. I am hoping that once we deal with my anxiety I am able to deal with my feelings towards relationships. I am thinking of seeing a hypnotherapist too so I can get through everything.
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✨ ”You’re only given one little spark of madness. You mustn’t loose it" - Robin Williams ✨ ~ “How would you like to ride a real Cowboy - Agent Whiskey ~ "Sit down you inarticulate Bumble" - Dumbledore (AVPM) |
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#42 | |||
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I really hope that helps. It must be so hard to develop relationships, and intimacy. I found intimacy hard to do too, although for different reasons, and I found counselling very helpful.
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Claire You just need to hold on to hope. |
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#43 | |||
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I didn't go through abuse from family or friends of the family, but I did have similar childhood trauma. Please let me know if the hypnotherapy works. I've been curious about trying that.
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Sunny
"The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die." avie by Jessie |
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#44 | |||
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Joined: Apr 2011
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I hope it helps me too and sunny I will definitely let you know if it works
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✨ ”You’re only given one little spark of madness. You mustn’t loose it" - Robin Williams ✨ ~ “How would you like to ride a real Cowboy - Agent Whiskey ~ "Sit down you inarticulate Bumble" - Dumbledore (AVPM) |
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#45 | |||
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In the meantime, though, I wish you well.
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Sunny
"The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die." avie by Jessie |
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