sunnykerr

Well, yeah, I'd be pissed, too. No one deserves to be raped, I don't care what the circumstances were. That's just, like, the basics of human rights. No one ever deserves to be raped. Ever.

BlondieLeigh

Not ever. Disgusting that anyone would ever blame a victim for that.

sunnykerr

It seems pretty simple, right?

*KindKennen*

I was raped too. I was 9 years old...an early developer...needed a bra already and had pubic and underarm hair. I began my period a year later....just glad I didn't get pregnant...Those of you who have been raped or mentally/emotionally & physically abused...It happened by the same person for approx 8 years until I went away to college He threatened to kill me if I EVER told anybody. Then it was verbal abuse by phone.....I have gone to counselors and got a lot of healing and became a counselor and worked with a lot of young to middle aged women who were date raped and yes...raped by their husbands...I am also a retired nurse. Worked mostly at a Children's Hospital. If any of you want to PM me and ask questions or share with me that is fine....Oh, yeah...I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress...Anxiety, Panic Attacks, OCD to name a few...Much have been overcome with time and medication...

sunnykerr

I'm so amazed at what you all survived.

*KindKennen*

We do what we have to to survive....Sometimes many years later after suppressing the emotions for 20 years you are ready to face things and the right counselor comes along...I am a Christian and a friend told me about this counselor that she trusted who was a Christian. I went to him. After a year, and talking about other things...I saw a book on his desk called "A door of Hope" By Jan Franks. A book about incest. It was left there by another client. I wrote down the title and author and bought the book that day. The book helped immensely. The next session we began peeling away the layers of skin and "debried" what needed to be to cleanse me and begin to set me free from the pains of the past. It was a slow process and the counselor was very kind and compassionate. Like my husband. But, I began to have nightmares that the person found out that I told and flew up from two States away and broke into our house and tried to kill me either by gun, knife or choking...and sometime my husband killed first..talk about waking up with panic attacks and my heart pounding!!! Couldn't fall asleep some nights.....My husband was getting concerned.....then I was having flashbacks and was frightened when my husband was approaching me sexually...he of course didn't understand my flashbacks...at first.....we were both relieved when I overcame this process and was able to resume our regular fantastic healthy sex life.....hard on my husband but harder on me because I was seeing the other person when it was my husband....So grateful this did not destroy our marriage. Some husbands/boyfriends aren't very patient during this phase of healing. There is always a "healing crisis" that takes place where things get worse before they get better. Hard for people to understand that.....it doesn't make sense if they haven't had to heal from emotional, mental, physical or sexual abuse before. I know our faith in God helped us. I also was able to confront the person after 20 years. And told him it was time for him to take full responsibility. That I had forgiven him...and God had forgiven him...and my husband has forgiven him. Took him a while but he called back and did apologize...he sounded sincere. I still don't trust him but am set free. He doesn't bother our family. He has never been alone with our children at family gatherings. I just continue to pray for him. I haven't even seen him for 10 years now...

sunnykerr

It's true. We do what we need to survive.

*KindKennen*

shinebrighterxx

I just want to put a hug here . I may have just accessed Rae (room to breathe)'s account because every now & then I feel this need to check if anyone's tried contacting her & don't know she's passed away. I stumbled across this thread which I had no idea she had started but it doesn't surprise me at all because that's just the sort of person she was. She probably would've sooner tried to help someone else through their abuse than herself at times, but she had this amazing heart that she never always saw. Then possibly an unnatural interest in abuse & the need to get it out in the open, but that's where it should be. I can't begin to imagine what she or anyone else who's been in that situation have gone through, or are still going through, but the more survivors speak up then perhaps more bullies will see what they were doing as wrong & maybe the level of abuse in the world will lessen

reason to believe

Oh wow, I didn’t know she died.

Sweet Embrace

I was good friends with her a few years ago, I hope that isn't true

shinebrighterxx

I'm sorry. I knew to tell the graphics & management teams, then posters on boards she formerly moderated but past that I wasn't sure where she'd posted or who she'd become friends with to tell. That's part of why I look as I knew I'd miss plenty of people. She had left because she'd gotten a job & moved to be closer to her daughter & was taking some time to set up her life before worrying about gaining internet & returning to . But unfortunately she passed away a few months later

reason to believe

That's sad, I'm hoping it was an accident than suicide.

Sad for her daughter! glad she started a thread on too.

shinebrighterxx

It wasn't suicide, she died in her sleep from subarachnoid hemorrhaging from a ruptured brain aneurysm

sunnykerr

That's awful for all her friends and loved ones. But at least she wasn't in pain.