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Old 08-05-2008, 02:10 PM
  #1
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Brain picking

Hello everyone!

I'm a newbie and I stumbled on this site while researching for a novel I will be working on inspired by the Twilight series. I appreciated the way vampires were portrayed in the novels and I also became fascinated by the idea of newborns and their adjustment period. So here is the book idea:

A young woman is changed to a vampire after a mugging that nearly kills her. The coven she is born into (I'm thinking of making the coven small...probably a couple and another male, the main character supposing to be the mate to the other male) only feed on the scum of the earth (muggers, thieves, rapists, etc.) They live on the outskirts of a major city (I'm thinking Seattle, b/c I liked the vampire need for overcast.)

Despite her "food" being only lowlifes, she is torn from killing humans and her intense desire to feed. After a disturbing episode with her "food" she escapes from her coven to feed on lesser animals. While searching and pondering, she comes across a small town where a high school age boy is arguing with his mother that works nights. She immediately becomes fascinated with the boy, but afraid that she might eat/ hurt him she observes from afar. Through the days of observing, the boy runs off into the nearby forest area only to be faced with a wild animal. On reflex she saves the boy from the animal, but instead of the boy becoming afraid of her, he too is enthralled by her.

Later her coven comes to look for her, to discover the human boy that knows their secret and give the most difficult choice for any vampire in love with a human: kill him or turn him.

Now brain picking time:

-I like that vampires can't be killed by sunlight, but instead become very conspicuous. I obviously can't make them glow like in Twilight (I'm thinking the author came up with that) so I'm thinking of maybe more iridescent with a shine, like the inside of a sea shell. What do you all think?

-Names. I need names! I am terribly unclever when it comes to names. Help!

-Obviously your opinion on the concept. Too much borrowing?

-I plan to post my chapters on writing.com and I would love feedback from all of you. What better feedback than from the fans of the books that inspired me in the first place?!

If I'm annoying and you just want me to go away, let me know. I don't want to stampede all over your forums.

Thanks for any help you give me

~Heather
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Old 08-05-2008, 02:20 PM
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Welcome! The idea of your story sounds very interesting, but I think you should go with London or Portland.

As for the shining, maybe make it so they look glossy. So basically, what you said would work.

Names... well before I can come up with names, I need a time period to work with. Is this modern day or in the past?

I think that so it won't be obviously too much like Twilight, you should make some of the details different. What are some details about the vamps in the story?
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Old 08-05-2008, 02:46 PM
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Modern day. I have never left the US, so I fear placing in London, but i have been to Portland. Do they have a high crime rate in Portland? Don't want my vamps to get hungry.

Main Character: I'm thinking 19-20yrs old. Blond or a red head. Something striking. She's gonna be lanky and fluid, but I want her flawed. As if to be such a sophisticate vampire takes time, something a newborn won't immediately;y get a handle on. Thinking piercing blue eyes. Debating on how much she will remember from her human life. Edit: name ideas-Charisse or Inaya (both mean kindness and grace )

Human boy: prolly 17-18yrs old. Gonna be an nerdy outcast. No friends, hard relationship with his mother, father skipped out at an early age. Just been dieing to move out of the house and live on his own.

Male Vampire with Mate: I'm thinking turned mid 18th century, early 19th century. (visual age mid 30s) Very Carlisle inspired, but a little more forceful in his opinions. Strict on Vampire laws. Not decided on physically description yet

Female Vampire with Mate: Turned early 20th century. (visual age mid-late 20s) Esme sensitivity, but a little more vivacious in personality. I visualize as warm and curvy. Chestnut brown hair and wild violet eyes. Might be an old jazz club singer in her human life.

Other Male Vampire: Turned mid 19th century. (visual age 22). Very composed, but kind. He will be the main vampire in training the main character on what it means to be a vampire. Thinking jet black hair, red eyes?

Last edited by razorblade456; 08-05-2008 at 02:59 PM
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Old 08-05-2008, 03:00 PM
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As for crime rate,
Seattle Portland
Violent Crime: 6 7
Property Crime: 7 8

Main Character.... I imagine as a Delaney Mae. Last name, you can decide.
Human Boy: Jonathan Aaron Day
Male Vamp W/Mate: Thomas Knight
Female Vamp W/Mate: Lea Knight
Other Male Vamp: Skylar Cooper

Possibly, for the lead, when she got attacked, she also got a concussion. So, you could do a fuzzy memory and possibly a power from it. Something with altering memories of others, or something with mind alteration.

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Old 08-05-2008, 03:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by truroswellian (View Post)
As for crime rate,
Seattle Portland
Violent Crime: 6 7
Property Crime: 7 8

Main Character.... I imagine as a Delaney Mae. Last name, you can decide.
Human Boy: Jonathan Aaron Day
Male Vamp W/Mate: Thomas Knight
Female Vamp W/Mate: Lea Knight
Other Male Vamp: Skylar Cooper

Possibly, for the lead, when she got attacked, she also got a concussion. So, you could do a fuzzy memory and possibly a power from it. Something with altering memories of others, or something with mind alteration.

wow that's brilliant! I knew this was the right place! Gonna scuttle off to write the preface right now! Hmmm super powers...power of empathy maybe? Can feel and see what her prey feels and thinks?
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Old 08-05-2008, 03:04 PM
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Thanks

I'm a writer too, so it's nice to share some of my imagination with others.
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Old 08-05-2008, 03:07 PM
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Ah! Professional or freelance work? Anything published? If not published, then posted anywhere? Love to read your work.

I love to write but haven't quite got out into the big world of publishing past a few poems. Writing.com is a wonderful haven for my writing, and now here!
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Old 08-05-2008, 03:14 PM
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Nothing serious; just more of a hobby now until I get to college. Once I graduate, I plan try and mainstream my writing. I'm only in high school :/

But, I do have some stuff on fanfiction.net, but a lot of what I write tends to be on paper. I have this one story that everyone I have shown it to loves, but I can't find it!

Here is my FF account: Supermel Returns - FanFiction.Net
I haven't updated my stuff in a while, but I am working at it!
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Old 08-05-2008, 06:02 PM
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I will def have to check that out!

And its up! The preface...anyway. And I realized while writing, I better come up with a name soon

Here's the link to my portfolio if anyone cares to read. It's the only thing in it atm

Writing.Com: RazorBlade's (razor_blade) Item List

Thanks again!
~heather
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Old 08-06-2008, 05:47 AM
  #10
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Hi,

Its great that you were inspired this much by the Twilight series, but unfortunately its not the place to discuss, what you want to discuss..

However, on this board we do have a fanfiction/General Writing board, feel free to take it up there as well

Fan Fiction/Writing - Fan Forum
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