LadyZ

Slight spoilers

I watched this movie recently (it's cute, if you haven't caught it yet) and it got me thinking. The basic plot is that Jennifer Garner's character makes a wish on her 13th birthday (in 1986). She wishes she was 30 years old. Somehow her wish was granted, she arrives in present day and is forced to unravel her life backwards. She finds out about the person she had become from her teens to her 30's. Turns out she had gotten everything she had wanted (to be popular, prom queen, high-powered magazine exec), but just wasn't a very nice person.

Since this movie applies to me age-wise (I'm 30), this made me wonder about a few things.

When I was an idealistic 13 year old child of the 80's:

What kind of person did I think I'd become?
What did I think was important in life, that ended up being not so?
What goals did I have for my life that I haven't achieved yet?
What am I most proud of in my life since then?

I think I'm not as confident as I was when I was younger. Back then I felt smart, respected by my peers, and a stand-out. Somewhere in these past years, I realized I feel more comfortable as part of the crowd. I don't mean being like everyone else, just not in the spotlight. I do my best thinking when I'm free.

Back when I was thirteen, I remember my nose was always behind a teen beauty magazine - Teen, Seventeen, YM. When you're that young, you really do believe there is a definite concept of beauty. I'm glad the in my high school years I saw past the commercial hype and realized that we are all beautiful and the more unique the better.

I did finish law school, which was an early goal of mine. But in my early years in the profession, I started to realize it wasn't what I really wanted to do. Even at 30, I'm still kind of struggling with this. I want to find something I can do that leaves me enough time to do what's important - spend time with my family, and travel when I have the opportunity.

So...what's your 13 going on 30?

*Maxi*

What kind of person did I think I'd become?
What did I think was important in life, that ended up being not so?
What goals did I have for my life that I haven't achieved yet?
What am I most proud of in my life since then?

When I was 13, I was sure I would move away never to return. I thought it was absolutely impossible to 'define myself' and be someone/be happy in my home town. And I did move away for a period as a young adult (stayed away for five years). During that time I realised I actually wanted to return, and that it could make me happy - and that I could be happy 'in myself' as well. Which means I'm more secure/confident now than I ever was back then.

As for goals I haven't achieved yet: Travelling must be the biggest goal I haven't achieved as much of as the thirteen year old me thought I would have by now. But it is not too late yet, is it?

I'm most proud of the fact that I got accepted to university (a quite rare education programme too, that only accepted 14 students dived on two universities in the entire country the year I applied) and managed to fulfill my education. Add the fact that I was the first one ever among my closest relatives to start uni, or even completing senior high school.

LadyZ

Good for you, Maxi. What a prestigious program you got into at university. You should be very proud.

Isn't it amazing how strong the pull of "home" is? I think when we're younger, we want to break free and leave home and family to find ourselves. There is a fascination with being "on your own." Yet somehow we can find ourselves back where we belong.

And you're never too old to travel!

~AnastasiaGrey~

When I was an idealistic 13 year old child of the 80's:

What kind of person did I think I'd become?
What did I think was important in life, that ended up being not so?
What goals did I have for my life that I haven't achieved yet?
What am I most proud of in my life since then?


So...what's your 13 going on 30? [/B][/QUOTE]


This is going to be difficult seeing that i was 13 what 6 years ago.... and im now 20 so, its like 13 going on 20 loll.. but ill respond anyway....


What kind of person did i think i become: I think that i have became very secure and more confident than i did when i was 13, because most of my life i didnt have the greatest confidence in myself and i was always a loner and now that kinda change as i grew older.

What did i think was importan in life, that ended up bein not so, just fitting in with the crowd, because like i said in junior high i didnt have many friends but one or two and i always felt left out on things....

what goals did i have for myself then, that i havent achieved yet, well school has been pretty important to me and so far right now i feel like im doing what i am doing by keep going to school i always had the drive to go and learn new things and now is working out for me.

what am i most proud of in my life right now: Just being older and more mature.

*Maxi*

Yeah, the process of finding ourselves are very important. Trying out different and new things is important, regardless if it is by moving, travelling or some other aspect.

LadyZ

True Daisy lover4ever, sounds like you've learned a lot about yourself. I always feel so glad to hear another woman becoming more self-confident. It affects so much of your life - level of happiness, sense of hope, relationship with others. Keep up with the schooling!

Maxi, I think the biggest difference for me between my teens and 20's and now my 30's is that I'm more relaxed. When I was younger I felt like I was in a rush to grow up and experience the world. Now, I'm just learning to appreciate the view

Any other reflections folks would like to share?

MalloryKeaton

I read Seventeen when I was 13. I thought I was the only one who did. I thought I was weird because of that.
I also recently saw this movie. It was pretty good. Granted I won't be 30 for four years (2008). I was a child of the 1980's and turned 13 in 1991. I was born in 1978.

What kind of person did I think I'd become? I thought I would graduate high school, and go on to college. I hoped to become a teacher after graduating college.

What did I think was important in life, that ended up being not so? I thought that going straight to a four year college was important. I believed that starting at a junior college wasn't for "real" college students. I have thus found out that even though I started at a four year university that there would not have been anything wrong with starting at a two year college. I thought being an adult would be easier than adults made it sound like. I was wrong.

What goals did I have for my life that I haven't achieved yet? Becoming a teacher. Graduating from college--though I will be graduating this December. My degree won't be in teaching. Maybe one day I can go back and get the alternative certification to teach elementary if I don't end up liking what my degree will let me do.

What am I most proud of in my life since then? Graduating from high school(May 1998) with honors, cum laude. Graduating among the top 15% of my class, and it was a very big class (762 students). I am proud that I continued on to college and am getting ready to graduate from college. There have been times when I have wondered if I'd get through college. I'm proud that I proved all the people who told me I'd never make it, wrong. Getting my diploma wil not only be something I want, but a way to show those people just how wrong they were.

LadyZ

Ain't that the truth? I know I had the same idea about adulthood - do my own thing, forge my own path. Of course I didn't understand how much responsibility comes with it. Sometimes I really wonder how my folks brought up a family in their twenties.

Congratulations on your upcoming graduation! Persistence pays off. You've got reason to be proud!

You know, I thought I had to be seventeen to read Seventeen. I still did though. Ah, youth.

*Maxi*

True Daisy lover4ever - becoming more confident and at ease with yourself is one of the best things I've experienced with becoming an adult.

MalloryKeaton and Z it always seemed so much easier watching the adults than actually being one. With all the responsibilites, bills to pay etc. I have had the same thoughts.

Mandy Renay

First of all, I absolutely love this movie. As well as the soundtrack.

I was 13 in 1997, but anyway!

I've never really been a kind of person that thinks about how I'll be, or goals... yeah not very ambitious, I know! But I was just thinking this morning about how different I've become in even just the past few years. 13... gosh. My life was a lot different then- not even the same family situation I have now, since my parents are divorced since I was 16 and I live with my dad who has remarried and I have stepsisters. So my life is definitely a lot different than I would have ever expected.

I remember that I didn't like my home life and for the longest time I thought I wanted to get as far away as I could. Now my family situation is different, I live at home, and at this point in my life I don't have intentions of ever moving far away. I'm a 'roots' kind of person and I don't think I could really be happy if I were far. I had no idea what I wanted to do - now I'm saving up to go to school for photography.

I can't really think of anything significant that I thought was important that wasn't really. I've never been much for the superficial things... the things that I found important then are still important now. I guess I have to say that a thing I'm proud of since then isn't really an achievement, per se, but I think I've done really well at handling the things that have come. I'm comfortable in my own skin, which definitely would not have been how I'd have described 13!

It's strange to think about how I might look back on myself now, in seven more years.

LadyZ

That's a great realization - that you're comfortable in your own skin. I think it's a challenge so many folks face whether 13 or 53.

*Maxi*

yeah, I agree.

And I am too much more comfortable in my own skin than I was when being 13.

*Maxi*

I want to hear more on this topic!

Marilyn_19032002

What kind of person did I think I'd become?When I was 13 I thought that I would grow up to be this huge movie star but I was very shy and I thought the world revoled around boys and my freind's.What did I think was important in life, that ended up being not so? Lot of my freind's and I never really cared about anything else. I still think freind's are very important but it took me a long time to find good freind's. But it was a learning exprince.
What goals did I have for my life that I haven't achieved yet? I thought I would run off to hollywood, in realitiy I'm 21 trying to put myself through school and relize that I loved fashion and not running away and alway's hated texas, but i'm so proud to be from here.
What am I most proud of in my life since then? god and my family


wh

AdriaMichelle

Interesting topic. When I was thirteen - I was dealing w/ a lot of changes. I was invited to my first ever boy/girl party. Which terrified me. Mainly because I was not really friendly w/ a lot of the people who went to the party, I was friendly w/ the girl who had the party, but she was type of girl who got along w/ anyone. Unfortunately, none of my friends went - (they were actually invited too) to the party, so I just hung around - wearing a nice outfit I bought, and I just talked to people when I felt like it.

I also started playing football, basketball, and baseball w/ a boy I started developing a crush on. Cause he took the time to show me how to play and appreciate each sport. I remember one time specifically - I played football w/ him and his friends. I also the first girl in the neighborhood who played and excelled at all these sports. Pretty soon all the girls in the neighborhood wanted to play.

Finally - I started to realize who my friends were and who my friends were not. It took a while for me to adjust all that, but eventually I came out stronger than ever before. Since the age of thirteen - I only close friends w/ two of the friends I made during that age.

Above all - thirteen is an age that we can all learn a thing or two - we learn about first crushes, first fights, first heartbreaks, and no matter what - (at least I learned) to accept yourself who you are.