[xO_tasha]

POST ON

[master yoda167]

backstreets back ALLRIGHT! and that's all I can say, the whole partying thing kinda gets to you after 3 days of non-stop on the move! so I don't know if I'll make it here tomorrow as I'm pretty wiped but rest assured I'll be back well rested and full of b-day stories
lateeer to all!! and now I gotta

[goodbreakingbad]

Hey guys, I've been sick with the flu, which is why I've been scarce lately.

[xO_tasha]

Originally Posted by PiCkLeS4dAwSoN Hey guys, I've been sick with the flu, which is why I've been scarce lately.

aww hunn i just got out of being sick
i hope you feel better!!

---

haha maria, you're quite the party girl, arent you?
so am i, dont worry


ohh...right, someone asked me to post my recent story...i forgot who...but do you guys still want me to?

[pinch990]

Originally Posted by PiCkLeS4dAwSoN Hey guys, I've been sick with the flu, which is why I've been scarce lately.

Awww, feel better.

I'm sick too, lovesick. Hayden on the beach with a girl that ain't me!

[*aLESSANDRA*]

Maria. I'm sure you had A LOT OF FUN, lol. Hope you tell us ALL ABOUT IT SOON!

@Anji: Hope you feel better now! We missed you!
And Jill, we missed you, too, of course!

@tash: It wasn't mebut I'd like to read your story....

@diamonddroad17: Thank you for the info! Maybe it comes out here In germany soon so I can watch it. Sounds interesting!

[pinch990]

Awww, I missed you all too

I have a HUGE History test on Tuesday with an essay and a quiz to make-up. lirklaerklklnrg,kndfbgiljro!!!!!

[xO_tasha]

aww, i have an englist test tomorrow..

fvbtlsigbvzkhbdklfjvbkjxlbvlkszfgxblszhgbslhdgb lkb hz

i feel a bit better now...i still cant get over those pics of hayden and that...that...nevermind, i'll be nice;...

but everyone is bothering me on msn because my screename is

omg! he HAS a girlfriend!

haha and everyone thinks im talking about someone else

[*aLESSANDRA*]

Good luck to the both of you! *fingers crossed*

And tasha, we need to calm down. I know it's not easy but just TRY it??

[BehrItAll]

Hi guys!

Can't wait to hear bday stories Maria

Anji, I hope you are feeling better.

I am sick of that beach girl. I don't want to talk about it anymore.

[Cereal Killer]

Originally Posted by master yoda167 backstreets back ALLRIGHT!

I concur! It was an awesome gig, I'm still all hyped up! And tired, we've been driving all night. Now I'm home but I'll be leaving in less than an hour so I should really go brush my teeth.

So this is just a quick post. A big to everyone, see you all later!

[goodbreakingbad]

Awww, you guys are the sweetest, thank you so much!

I am feeling somewhat better, and with Prison Break tonight, hot Wentworth should help.

[xO_tasha]

Originally Posted by PiCkLeS4dAwSoN Awww, you guys are the sweetest, thank you so much! I am feeling somewhat better, and with Prison Break tonight, hot Wentworth should help.

im excited for PB too!!

[goodbreakingbad]

Michael/Sara, they are the best new couple ever...at least to me.

[xO_tasha]

Originally Posted by PiCkLeS4dAwSoN Michael/Sara, they are the best new couple ever...at least to me.

yes, i think so too

theyre not my fave, but they're certainly up there


great news guys, i got 100% on that story i wrote!


okay, i guess i'll post my story * it actually happened* Emilee said it was amazing, and it even made her mom cry but if you dont like it, thats fine, i just wanted to share it with you *sorry if its too long* and i posted a picture of her


---


My Angel

April 8th, 2005. I sat down at my computer, and checked my email. I was tired. I had been out all day, and I needed to relax. It was about nine-thirty pm, and I went downstairs for a drink. I came back upstairs and an msn window was blinking. Ashlee was writing to me. She was annoyed at something. Her dog had just been to the vet, and was squealing all day, because she was in pain. We talked for a while, and she was getting really annoyed. I suggested that she should take her dog for a walk, and that might help. She agreed, and said she would be right back. Well, today, those words haunt me. I never thought that I would be waiting for her forever, and she that wouldn’t be coming back.

My dad called me downstairs, and needed help with some boxes. Then my mom asked me to give my dog a bath. After I did all that, I went back upstairs. It was 10:30. Exactly one hour after she messaged me. I figured that she fell asleep, and forgot to sign off. I decided to go to sleep around 11:00. Then another blink. And email message from Ashlee


WHEN YOU GET THIS MESSAGE: tasha, this is Donna. A car just hit Ashlee. Don’t come down to the hospital tonight, because she’s in a really bad state. Come down and see her tomorrow. She broke her ribcage, and fractured her shoulder. She might be paralyzed for the rest of her life!! Oh my god tasha im so scared. What am I gonna do if she’s gone?? I’m gonna get a call when I can see her in the hospital. I knew you were the first person to tell.

I froze. I didn’t feel anything. I never even heard my parents walk up to their bedroom. I just kept reading the paragraph, up to at least 5 times, thinking to myself, please don’t let it be true…I bet I misunderstood it…I actually didn’t, and when I finally realized it was true, I remember sitting on my bed, and wide awake. I don’t remember the last time I felt like that. Where I couldn’t sleep, and all I thought about was…well, nothing. My mind drew a blank, and I eventually fell asleep, but kept waking up every hour, on the hour.

The next morning, the first thing I did was go to the hospital. I saw her, and she was unconscious. She looked terrible, and just then, I let out the tears. Her mom saw me in the hallway, and ran up to me. We hugged and cried in each other’s arms.

The following week was the toughest week ever. Most people say that exam week is tough, but knowing that your best friend has a forty percent chance of living…well, that just puts a hole through your stomach. I hardly ate, or slept that week, and constantly visited her, and talked to her, even though she couldn’t hear me. I hardly ever talked to my friends, and I failed a history test because the only history I was thinking of was the history of my best friend and I, our fun times, and I knew they would be our last. Of course, doctors will tell you until they’re blue in the face, that everything will be fine. But I knew deep down inside she wouldn’t make it.

Even if she did make it, she would spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair, and maybe even drinking her foods through a straw. That’s how powerful the blow was, and I wish I never had to live this. I would never wish this on anyone, not even the person I truly dislike the most. Why did this have to happen to her? Why was it her time to die? Those kept running through my mind, as I kept asking her to wake up. It’s not easy, having someone you love laying there, and all you can do is hope.

She finally woke up, and she smiled when she saw me. I told her that I would always be there, and I wasn’t going anywhere. She smiled again, and even though she looked terrible, her smile always seemed to make the bruises and scars go away. She started moving her right arm, because the left arm was broken. She started writing, and seemed to get better. I was so happy when I found out that she could write again. Her writing wasn’t as good as it was before, but still good enough to read. She started to write something, and it seemed pretty long. The nurse said that she should stop, but Ashlee insisted that she should keep writing, because its really important.

The next Friday, seven days after finding out that she got hit, I found out another piece of information. The words hit me like a ton of bricks. The words that will haunt me for the rest of my life…she’s gone. Apparently, she went into shock one night, and her heart failed. By the time I walked outside, I fell to my knees, and my friends just knew. I cried for so long, and for the rest of that day, I hardly said a word to anyone. My parents took my brother and I out for dinner, and I didn’t touch the mozzarella sticks that my mom ordered. And when I don’t eat mozzarella sticks, my mom knows that something is wrong.

About another week went by, without eating, sleeping, or completing any homework. All I really did was sit and watch TV, which, for me, is definitely not normal, because I personally cannot watch TV for more than 3 hours, or I go nuts. My parents were pretty busy, so they never really noticed. To me, I was alone. I couldn’t call my best friend anymore, and say, “hey, want to go to the movies tonight? I’ll pay.” I never really adjusted, and even today, writing a story about it kind of makes me feel uneasy, or it even makes me want to throw something out of my window, because even today, almost 6 months later, it still tugs at my heart strings. Now that I think about it, all of our fun times will never happen again. I never thought that day when we were at the park, playing with our dogs, was the last day that I’d ever see her.

I got a call from Ashlee’s mother, and she told me that the funeral was next Saturday. It was harder than I ever imagined. Just sitting there, watching people say speeches about how much of a great person she was, made me want to jump up from my seat, and run out of the door. I would run, and run, until I was away from everything and everyone. But of course, it was church, so I bit my lip, and stayed sitting down. I got up, and I didn’t even have cue cards with me. I stood up there, with no speech, and just talked about whatever it was that everyone else was talking about-how great she was, and how much I miss her. I don’t think anyone understood me at times, because I was too busy burying my head in my hands, and wiping my face dry.

Now, how has this changed my life, you ask? Well, I learned something. I learned that everything happens for a reason. She might have gone because it might benefit me later in life. I really don’t know, but I do know that everything happens for a reason, something bad to force something good.

The night after the funeral, the nurse that was taking care of her, found a folded up piece of paper under her bed. Ashlee had written it to me, the night before she died. It said:

Tasha:

I know this is probably hard for you to read, but I just wanna say that I will miss you. I can tell by the looks on the doctors’ faces that I probably wont make it. Im fine with that. If it happens, it happens, and no one can stop that. I just wanna say that I really enjoyed being your best friend, and I will never forget it. But remember, when ‘our’ chargers beat lorne park, I will be there, hearing you cheer. When you graduate school, I’ll be there beside you, throwing my hat up into the air. And when you become a writer, I will inspire you to write about what you want. And when you get married, I will be your invisible maid of honour. This is killing my hand, but I wanted you to know, that I will never say good bye, only see you later.

Ashlee xoxo

I still read that letter often, and think about what life would be like, if she didn’t pass on. She will always be in my heart, and forever on, I will always consider her as, My Angel.

hope its okay


this is Ashlee: