chicah

How old do you think someone should be before they have sex?

Some places (especially in the US) the legal age is 18.
In other countries, the legal age is 16.
What is your opinion? Should a rule define when you can have sex with someone? If you are younger than the legal age (f. ex. 16 where the rule is 18) is that a crime?
The law is good because it stops sickos from having sex with kids, and it still should. I'm just interested in what age you think is appropriate. Is it when you feel you're ready, or should you wait until you reach the legal age anyway?
What rule is there where you live, and do you think the rule is appropriate?

froggiepopple

Actually in the United States each state has their own law as to what the age of consent is. Here in Minnesota the age of consent is 16 and in some states it is as low as 14.

Lexis

I'm uncomfortable with anything below 16. I just think that before that most people aren't emotionally ready for it.

Lain

It does vary from state to state (the legal age for consent). But in my opinion, I would say at least 18. When you're 17, you definintly need to build up your maturity even if you think you're too mature at that age.

The Survivor

I would say 17 and up. Anyone below that age isn't emotionally ready for sex.

TheAngel

I was eighteen when I lost my virginity and had been in a relationship for over a year before it happened. The relationship ended badly but I still have no regrets. I think any earlier for me and it would have been very hard for me since I was betrayed by the man that took my virginity. As it was, I realize that it was something I wanted to happen, that it wasn't a one night stand, and that I had no regrets.
Had I been younger, as I said, it would have been much worse for me. So I think seventeen or eighteen is good. Obviously you can't keep kids from having sex, but at the same time, the whole raging hormones thing doesn't work for me because I've been there (and I'm only nineteen so I'm still there) and a little control works wonders. Kids are just having sex because they have no check from their parents.
But seventeen or eighteen, because that also is important since kids around that age aren't as likely to idolize older men and women, which keeps a very manipulative relationship out of the question...in some cases of course.

vc318

Well, my husband and I lost our virginity together on our wedding night and it was the happiest thing we could've ever done. Sure we knew each other for 8 years but we both decided that we wanted to wait. In a perfect world, it would be nice to see young people not stress about wanting to lose their virginity at a young age and to focus more on getting a proper education and finding more productive ways to have fun but I know many would laugh at this. I can't really say what age is right - it's about maturity and your love for that other person. Making love is just that - it's love (at least to me). I think something as passionate as that requires alot of thorough thinking and should be shared with someone you truly love and loves you in return. Of course you should be an adult but a definite age, I really can't say. And no, an old lady isn't writing this.

Jacob1983

That's a good story. It is nice to see that some people are still traditional and actually wait until marriage to have sex. I think premarital sex is wrong and a bad situation to put yourself in. It's just too risky and it spoils the wedding night in my opinion. However, we live in a society dominated by sex and money. And people want sex no matter what the consequences are.

quaist

Here (Austria) the legal age for having sex is 14(!)

That may be, but I believe that a simple law can't keep them away from just doing it under age...

Lexis

No, but it can help prosecute people who take advantage of young people. A friend of mine was lured into an extremely inappropriate relationship with a man much older than herself when she was under 16 and it really messed her up.

TheAngel

And that's the big thing. If a fourteen year old has sex with a fourteen year old it's not as bad as a fourteen year old having sex with a thirty year old. You aren't going to keep kids from having sex, obviously, unless parents are involved with their kids, and even then they might still have sex. But this might keep some adults from getting into relationships with young kids because of their fear of the penalty.

quaist

I think a man who has those tendencies would overcome his inhibitions, even though he's aware of his relationship being illegal. And usually men who have sexual relationships with girls that age have those tendencies.

But I believe that it would make it much easier for parents/relatives to cut it off.

chicah

The rule here is 16. It was talked about lowering it to 14 but I doubt it will happen.
People seem more traditional about this up there in the States. I am 15 and I have several friends who have already lost their virginity, one of them have had sex with 5 or 6 guys I think, another with at least three. But the first one isn't really slutty at all even though it might seem that way to you, if you knew her you would never say anything like that, and no one believes she is. She doesn't dress that way and all the guys she's slept with she has been together with. If you first have sex once, you continue (someone said that but I don't remember who at the moment.) Myself I am a virgin at it will continue to stay that way until I find the right guy, not just a fling like I've had until now. I would never do anything if it didn't feel right.
There are a lot of more people who have not have sex than those who have, especially at our school, where it's almost looked down upon by the students to have sex too young, at least to sleep around. If you are in a long-lasting relationship and have sex with your boyfriend, most people find that totally ok. But people who have sex just to have sex or who barely knew the guy or who has sex with many does not get very popular. I have the feeling that on lots of other shcools, the most popular kids have a sex life, but at least on our school that's not the case. And what the popular kids say goes (pathetically enough).

Well, yeah, with that I kind of tried to say that I guess that if you look at the overall statistics it's about 50/50, it varies from school to school and town to town.

I don't have a problem with teens having sex though. I think sex is healthy. But young girls like me should watch out so they don't get used by someone they like, don't have sex with the wrong person.
But I don't think sex should be a taboo which almost all religions have made it, I think sex is a very natural and beautiful thing to do, and it doesn't harm anyone.

Lain

Let's just say it's a crazy world these days. I've seen kids that go to middle school on the bus making out with each other.

Jacob1983

I gotta disagree with that. Sex does harm people sometimes. This may sound gross but there have been come cases where women have died during anal sex because of brain anuerysms. Violent rapes are definately harmful to the victims. I believe that sexual predators and sex offenders should be watched more closely and be punished more than what they usually get. A lot of people think that sex is their right as a human. And it's really not.

I do agree that you can't stop kids from having sex. However, parents and other authority figures should pay more attention to kids.

A man who is like 30 and sleeping with a 14 year old girl is pretty sick. It's a shame that stuff like that happens.
Our society is so obsessed with sex and sex sells so many products and services to its consumers. People don't care about traditions and morals anymore.