-Kelly-

13-year-olds marry in mass ceremony

From correspondents in Kuala Lumpur

March 09, 2007 06:46pm
Article from: Agence France-Presse

TWO 13-year old Malaysians were the youngest among 10 couples who were married in a joint wedding ceremony in eastern Terengganu state, a report said today.

Sukhri Ali and Mariam Din, who were neighbours in an indigenous people settlement, were married yesterday according to Muslim rites after courting for a month, The Star daily said in a report.

They were advised to tie the knot by the head of the village which is located on the fringes of the peninsula's largest national park, Taman Negara, the newspaper said.

The families of the two teenagers did not object to the wedding, the report said. It was the custom of their community that a boy and girl who had reached puberty could get married.

The lovebirds had met while on a hunting trip, when "their eyes met" and "hearts fluttered," before they started dating, the Star said.

The minimum legal age for marriage in Malaysia is 21 but those under 18 years who want to marry can do so with parental consent.

Wedding ceremonies are also typically held according to traditional or religious customs.

Source

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This is so wrong 13 years old

Indian Summer

I'm always hesitant to judge this sort of thing. Obviously, this is a very different culture than what we're used to, and I'm more interested in what young marriage entails for them. Like will they be sleeping together right away, living together, living in a family home, etc. I knew a girl who was married at 13 or 14, I can't remember exactly- but she still lived at home with her parents and the boy lived with his parents until they were about 17, and then they moved in together and consummated their relationship. So obviously, the details are important in this kind of case.

~*katinthehat*~

i was always interested in how a young marriage works, especially at 13. It's their culture so i feel that i can really not judge that. It will be hard work though, i can almost promise that.

Lain

I can't really say much. If this was in America, then clearly, something is a bit off. But since it's in another country with a different culture...

sunnykerr

Exactly, I don't think we can judge something like this.

ancientshadows

It's so diffiuclt to judge thins kind of thing. Something that seems decidedly wrong in America is perfectly normal to someone else so it's really hard to say. I definitely agree with Summer in that you really have to know the specific cirumnstances. My only issue would probably just be how much of the marriage was the kids' (at 13? definitely still kids) idea and how much was the parents and village head's idea. If it was 50-50 sort of decision than that's going to be much different than if it was all their idea. At thirteen I don't think anyone can really know if they want to spend their lives together. Then again, they did have parental consent.

I think I've managed to contradict myself several times.

Indian Summer

Honestly, I have a much easier time accepting something like this than the practice we often see in our own countries- pressuring an expectant mother and the father into marrying because the baby needs a happy family. I don't want to turn this into another "what is family?" debate, but it seems like these two didn't have any pressures except the natural cultural ones, and while that's weird to us... it's also a foreign enough idea we can't really understand it. I'm a firm believer that if you can't understand something, you shouldn't judge.

ancientshadows

So true.

elisheva

Hmm, I have a hard time with stuff like this - I mean, my grandmother got married at 12 (in the 1930s in the mountains of Morocco), so I perfectly understand that it's a different society, etc etc. Still, it's something I have swallowing. At least 13 is much better than, say, 6 or 7 (anyone seen Water?)

ancientshadows

In American society so manyt things could and probably would go wrong with a marriage that began when they were thirteen. But if it's a relationship within a culture where it's more accepted and "normal" then a lot of those issues aren't even factors. Still, it's hard to hear that and not pause for minute or two.

JRon

I just think its weird because you grow so much after you are 13. I know their culture is different, but imagine if you were married at that age how it would affect you.

Nab

As so many others have stated, it's hard to judge, because it is a different culture. Still, it seems like such a young age. And, feelings can change monthly when you're 13. I wish them the best, of course. But, I always tend to worry about broken hearts when couples get married young, and 13 is certainly very young.

ancientshadows

It might be interesting to know exactly how marriage works in the culture. I mean, if they can potentially break it off later easily if they grow up and realize they aren't supposed to be together or just aren't ready.

jalapeno_wildchild

not much to say, i wish them the best of luck.

ancientshadows

Agreed.