Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Things The BTVS Cast Would Never Say #3: Because Swimmers Ear Eventually Goes Away - Page 5

***Scythe*** · 07-21-2003, 02:01 AM

guess so [img]smilies/look.gif[/img]

Supertart.v1 · 07-21-2003, 07:13 AM

[img]smilies/look.gif[/img] Don't look at me! I'm a very un-funny girl!

Juliette_K · 07-21-2003, 08:08 AM

Buffy: It's just so good to be alive!

- -

Willow: Tara was just a phaze.

- -

Buffy: Angel, I've had enough. I think it's time we both move on.

***Scythe*** · 07-21-2003, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Juliette_K:
Buffy: It's just so good to be alive!

- -

Willow: Tara was just a phaze.

- -

Buffy: Angel, I've had enough. I think it's time we both move on.

But she definately would say the last one [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Juliette_K · 07-21-2003, 08:16 AM

One can only hope, Scythe! [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]

***Scythe*** · 07-21-2003, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Juliette_K:
One can only hope, Scythe! [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]

*sigh* yeah! call me Jen [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Ragnarok · 07-21-2003, 08:43 PM

Long-lost deleted scene from "Him"

Xander and Spike run out into the street. Xander tackles R.J. while Spike takes the jacket off of him. They run away with the jacket.

Cut to:

The Bronze. Xander and Spike are seated at a table. R.J.'s jacket and several empty long neck bottles litter the table. They are each holding a beer.

Xander: I'm not going to ask how you think you know that. Just tell me you don't want a share.
Spike: What, Anya? Absolutely not.
Xander: Not Anya. The jacket.
Spike: Well, maybe once and again...
Xander: Once and again when a certain blonde Slayer happens to come by the apartment?
Spike: Well, yeah. That'd be the general idea.
Xander: Explain to me again how you're not evil any more, with the soul-having and all that?
Spike: It's not evil! Buffy loves me. You bloody well know it's true, or you wouldn't even be discussing this.
Xander: It may not be evil, but it's wrong. I can't do that to Anya, and I can't let you do that to Buffy.
Spike: Suit yourself. But it wouldn't be wrong. Only time she's been happy the past two years is when she was with me. She just can't accept it. All the jacket's gonna do is cut through the self-imposed Slayer crap and let the real Buffy out to play.
Xander: Emphasis on "play" noted.
Spike: Won't say no to that. Once you've gone Slayer, you can't go back.
Xander: Actually, you can (drinks). But yeah, there's something about a Slayer.
Spike: If you only knew what you're talking about...
Xander: (interrupting) Funny thing, I do, smart guy. I went Slayer long before you ever thought about it.
Spike: Oh, please. As if Buffy'd ever...
Xander: Oh please, as if Buffy's the one and only Slayer?
Spike: (surprised) Wot? (eyes Xander intently) You're serious! (thinks) The black bird?
Xander: No, the next one. Faith.
Spike: (raises his beer, laughing) Bloody hell! Little Xander bagged himself a Slayer! I'm truly impressed! So where is she now?
Xander: Prison. She went evil.
Spike: Now I know you're not lying. That's your fine touch with women at work, all right. Willow, Anya, Faith...
Xander: (defensively) Hey! Cordelia too, and she's not evil. Well, not technically.
Spike: She will be. Better warn Angel.
Xander: (angry) Mock all you want, I don't see your batting average any better than mine.
Spike: All too true. Which brings us back to...
They stare at the jacket.
Spike: So you know about the muscles.
Xander: Oh yeah.
Spike: Even the one that...
Xander: Ohhhh, yeaaah.
They take long pulls on their drinks.
Spike: This Faith, got herself a sweetie-bear?
Xander: What? Oh. Not likely.
Spike: Not big on the romance, eh?
Xander: Valentine's Day is not circled on Faith's calendar.
Spike: But Slayer and all, she'd be the lusty sort.
Xander: "Lusty" is a good word for Faith, after "psychotic" and "murderer".
Spike: Poor lusty girl, all locked up and lonely, wouldn't it be nice if a fine strapping lad came by on visiting day. Wearing a pretty red jacket and all.
Xander: (catching on) OH. Um. Hmmm.
Spike: You being a free man and all, where's the bad?
Xander: I am. Yes. Completely free. (realizes) Until the jacket comes off and she rips all the limbs from my body.
Spike: And why do you take the jacket off? Don't you ever read those Penthouse magazines you keep in the closet?
Xander: What?! Why? How do you know about those?
Spike: Buffy used to bring one or two around the crypt now and then, try out this and that she read in the letters.
Xander: OK, that's definitely got me thinking about throwing up.
Spike: No, that'd be that lite cow piss you're drinking. Be a man, have a real beer.
Xander: (panicked) Buffy knew about the magazines? Buffy read the magazines? Buffy wanted to try the stuff in the magazines?
Spike: Yeah, and some of those letters are definitely fiction. That guy from Milwaukee, what a crock!
Xander: (super-panicked) Buffy wanted to try the guy from Milwaukee thing!?
Spike: Calm down, Junior. I told you it was a crock. After a couple of hours we decided it couldn't be done - had a good laugh. The guy from Ottawa was just as bad.
Xander: Oh God! Oh God! (hears Spike) No, wait. The Ottawa thing's doable.
Spike: What? How?
Xander: It's tricky. Mostly you have to get the elbow placements just right, and use lots and lots of peanut butter.
Spike: Well, there's food for thought.
They fall silent, staring at the jacket and drinking.
Xander: You do realize the big flaw in this plan.
Spike: I'm trying very hard not to think about it.
Xander: Sooner or later, Buffy will figure out what's going on and kill us both.
Spike: Well, no. Buffy will beat the everlasting bejesus out of both of us. Then Anya will kill you and Dawn will kill me.
Xander: And we avoid this how?
Spike: Well, you keep that shiny new car of yours ready at all times.
Xander: (alarmed) I'm not painting the windows black!
Spike: Course not. That'd draw attention. Just keep the boot unlocked, I'll provide the blanket.
Xander: What boot?
Spike: The trunk, you git. Bloody Americans.
Xander: And why are we doing this?
Spike: Muscles.
Xander: Muscles. Yes. (raises his beer) Here's to muscles!
Spike: (raises his beer) Muscles!
They drink.
Xander: We're going to chicken out when we sober up, aren't we?
Spike: Almost certainly. But keep a full tank of gas, just in case.

~*Faerie*~ · 07-21-2003, 10:25 PM

OMG!!!!! LOL [img]smilies/lol.gif[/img] that is the best!!!!!!!!

[img]smilies/rotfl.gif[/img]

***Scythe*** · 07-22-2003, 12:43 AM

[img]smilies/lol.gif[/img]

egyhon · 07-22-2003, 08:11 AM

that was hilarious Ragnarok encore encore!!!! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

IKillChildren · 07-22-2003, 10:16 AM

Very nice, Ragnarok. I'd do the same thing if I had that jacket.

***Scythe*** · 07-23-2003, 04:58 AM

lol I love this thread [img]smilies/lol.gif[/img]

GoddessGlory_2001 · 07-23-2003, 05:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Scythe:
lol I love this thread [img]smilies/lol.gif[/img]

I think it's cool but I can't write anything funny.

***Scythe*** · 07-23-2003, 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by GoddessGlory_2001:


I think it's cool but I can't write anything funny.

try [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] [img]smilies/hug.gif[/img] we don't say bad things on this thread.

GoddessGlory_2001 · 07-23-2003, 05:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Scythe:


try [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] [img]smilies/hug.gif[/img] we don't say bad things on this thread.

I know but oh I'm watching Something Blue.
[img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]