Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Things The BTVS Cast Would Never Say #3: Because Swimmers Ear Eventually Goes Away

***Scythe*** · 06-26-2003, 08:55 AM

Join in the barrel of laughs you will experience on this thread [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] to get us all started i have posted one of my old ones that everyone seems to like [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Giles (dressed in a long coat): Spike you are the one.
Spike: The one?
Giles: indeed!
Spike: Are you feeling alright.
Giles: now you must choose, the red pill or the blue pill?
Spike: WHAT?!?!?!? are you incredibly stoned?
Giles: no! make the choice.
Spike: you've been watching too much TV I did tell Buffy to get rid of your TV after that incident with swanlake last year but she said you were over it and that you'd be fine....now get out of my crypt.
Spike: *watches him leave then throws his fist to the ground and crouches the ground ripples and he then launches himself inyto the air* OW! must remember to go outside when i do that in future.

Supertart.v1 · 06-26-2003, 08:56 AM

That one was so funny, Jen! [img]smilies/lol.gif[/img]

***Scythe*** · 06-26-2003, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Supertart.v1:
That one was so funny, Jen! [img]smilies/lol.gif[/img]

why thankyou [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] I'm glad you liked it.
I hope swimmers ear does go away [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

[ 06-26-2003: Message edited Scythe ]

Supertart.v1 · 06-26-2003, 09:01 AM

Isn't there any medication for it? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Night Nymph · 06-26-2003, 11:21 AM

I hope no one minds me bringing these over from the end of the last thread. I'll add a couple more to make up for it. I'm editing just a bit, too...

Buffy, Xander, and Willow knock on Dawn's open bedroom door.
Dawn (in normal voice and with a smile): "Come in, come in, come in."
-----

Buffy: Time to go patrolling. Now where did I put my sensible shoes?
-----

Anya: Oh Xander, why didn't you tell me these talismans were priced too high? The customer always comes first is my motto.
-----

Giles: Ooh time to watch Baywatch!
Spike: No way, Rupert, I'm watching the McNeil Leher News Hour.
-----

Buffy: I'm sorry, Spike, that was so insensitive of me.
-----

Anya: Oh, Xander, was I too subtle there?
-----

Spike (holding up some yarn and knitting needles): See Harris, here's your problem. The needle goes in here, the yarn goes around, and then back through.
Xander: Oh, thanks, Spike. I get it now.
Spike: By the way, I love your peach yarn.
Xander: Oh no, your lavender is much more pretty.

[ 06-26-2003: Message edited Night Nymph ]

dreamgal · 06-26-2003, 11:58 AM

This thread is too funny! I was laughing so hard I have to think of some to put down!

~*Faerie*~ · 06-27-2003, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Night Nymph:

Spike (holding up some yarn and knitting needles): See Harris, here's your problem. The needle goes in here, the yarn goes around, and then back through.
Xander: Oh, thanks, Spike. I get it now.
Spike: By the way, I love your peach yarn.
Xander: Oh no, your lavender is much more pretty.

[img]smilies/lol.gif[/img]

Buffy&Angel4eva · 06-27-2003, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Scythe:

Giles (dressed in a long coat): Spike you are the one.
Spike: The one?
Giles: indeed!
Spike: Are you feeling alright.
Giles: now you must choose, the red pill or the blue pill?
Spike: WHAT?!?!?!? are you incredibly stoned?
Giles: no! make the choice.
Spike: you've been watching too much TV I did tell Buffy to get rid of your TV after that incident with swanlake last year but she said you were over it and that you'd be fine....now get out of my crypt.
Spike: *watches him leave then throws his fist to the ground and crouches the ground ripples and he then launches himself inyto the air* OW! must remember to go outside when i do that in future.

sad thing is, i could see Giles trying to be morpheus. [img]smilies/lol.gif[/img]
that was too funny [img]smilies/rotfl.gif[/img]

Quote:

Originally posted by Night Nymph:

Spike (holding up some yarn and knitting needles): See Harris, here's your problem. The needle goes in here, the yarn goes around, and then back through.
Xander: Oh, thanks, Spike. I get it now.
Spike: By the way, I love your peach yarn.
Xander: Oh no, your lavender is much more pretty.

[ 06-26-2003: Message edited Night Nymph ]

[img]smilies/rotfl.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rotfl.gif[/img]

aqua · 06-27-2003, 03:01 PM

Spike: Wow. I just want to hump your leg Giles.
Giles: Sorry?
Spike: You a-heard me, O Tweed-clad one. I wann-a hump-a your-a leg.
Giles: Well that's all fine and dandy my thin-legged archer, but what is the sudden Italian accent in aid of?
Spike: I-a don' kno. Ohhhhhhhhh ****** me geek.
Giles: Yes. Yes alright, i love it when you speak dirty. Especially Italian dirty, hehehe. Now pull up your socks and loosen your suspenders, because Daddy is coming up for some of your hot, tender tummy skin!

Buffy: Sarah Michelle Gellar is so ugly. And a bad actress to boot.

Buffy&Angel4eva · 06-27-2003, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PassionWagon:


Buffy: Sarah Michelle Gellar is so ugly. And a bad actress to boot.

the 1st one was gross. [img]smilies/lol.gif[/img]
but i [img]smilies/love.gif[/img] this one. [img]smilies/lol.gif[/img]

Buffy&Angel4eva · 06-30-2003, 04:37 PM

I found this fiction, that is a spoof of the 4th season. It really is "things BTVS cast wouldn't say" here's the link:
spoof S4

LivingDeadDoll · 06-30-2003, 05:20 PM

Giles(looking into crater that used to be Sunnydale): What did this?

Buffy: Spike.

Giles: That bloody bastard.

Buffy: Uh, I know it sucks that the town went all 'kablooie', but I don't think it's really his fault.

Giles: But my shiny red penis car was down there! I had only two payments left and then it was all mine! *Sniffle* And now it's gone. Now how can I pick up chicks?

Buffy: So your car's gone. We saved the *world*, Giles.

Giles(whining): Yes, but... I left my wallet in the glove compartment.

= = = = = = =

Buffy(to Angel): You see... I'm cookie dough.

Angel: Not really following.

Buffy: All the ingrediants are there, but I'm not done baking yet.

Angel(trying to understand): So... you're saying that when you're done, you'll be ready for a relationship?

Buffy: No, see... I've found someone. Not Spike. Someone new.

Angel(taken aback): And you were planning on telling me when?

Buffy: That's what the cookie dough speech was for; kind of a segue thingy. You see, he really understands me, more than anyone else. He's my true soulmate.

Angel: Am I going to get to meet this -

(Angel stops in mid-sentence by the sound of giggly laughter coming from a nearby bush)

Angel(cont'd): What the hell?

Buffy(elated): He's here!

(Angel's jaw drops at a human-sized PoppinFresh makes his was over to Buffy)

Poppin: Hee hee!

Buffy: Poppin, what are you doing here?

Angel: Buffy, what the - is that the Pillsbury Doughboy?

Buffy: He likes to go by Poppin, thank you very much.

Poppin(to no one in particular): My new rolls are buttery soft!

Angel(shocked): You're... going out with a... wad of dough? That's sick.

Buffy: As sick as going out with a dead guy? You just don't get it. HE understands me. Cookie dough me.

= = = = = = = = = =

(A critically wounded Principal Wood slumps heavily in his seat, not moving, not breathing. Faith looks over at him. After a beat...)

Faith: Oh, thank God, he's finally kicked it. Whiney little pansy ass was really getting on my nerves.

(Wood gasps for air and sits up, his eyes wide open)

Wood: Hey, I'm still alive.

(Faith looks over at him for a second, then places a hand over his mouth and watches as he struggles. Buffy opens the door to the bus and steps in)

Buffy: I thought I just heard something.

(Faith holds Wood down with one hand as he thrashes about)

Faith: It's so sad... Principal Wood died.

(Wood gets out of her grasp and gasps for air)

Buffy: I could swear that he just moved.

Faith: Umm... that's just gas escaping.

xextremex · 06-30-2003, 05:37 PM

[img]smilies/lol.gif[/img] I love them all but especially the Faith/Wood. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

~*Faerie*~ · 06-30-2003, 10:53 PM

Spike: [img]smilies/party.gif[/img] HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!! [img]smilies/party.gif[/img]

lol

flamegirl · 07-01-2003, 08:16 AM

I like the Faith/Wood one too!