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Old 10-03-2017, 04:19 AM
  #136
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how he just came in and left gail but yes that is true, but he was good to andy. Yes he left blah blah blah and he started off boring, but he grew to be amazing.
I suppose the Gail thing when you think about it doesn't matter anyway because of her sexuality. Yes, Nick got better as the series moved along.
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Old 10-31-2017, 06:30 AM
  #137
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Chloe was a nick/andy shipper. Even she knew he was falling for her. Nick even said to gail that it was a crush that he thought would go away, but it didn't, but gail did cheat on nick with the detective. Though emotional cheating is worse.
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Old 10-31-2017, 08:24 AM
  #138
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I also believe emotional cheating is worse.
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Old 10-31-2017, 08:54 AM
  #139
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I also believe emotional cheating is worse.
I agree with you, but the cheating topic is kind of deep one . It's difficult to agree on a general rule which type of cheating is worse because different people have different problems with cheating.

Some people have issues with cheating because they care what people think about them. No one could see emotional cheating so they do not care about it. Physical cheating however leaves marks.

Then there are other people who are possessive so for them both types of cheating sucks. And others find cheating as disrespect.

I do separate the types of cheating but for different reasons:

1. Emotional cheating - It means that the person is not happy in the relationship and looks for something else. They have two options - either work it out and find what they are missing or move on with someone else.
2. Physical cheating - It either starts with emotional cheating (so see point 1) or it's pure physical which means that the person needs more than one sex partner. So it's also sign of dissatisfaction on their part.

Of course in a perfect world it's better to discuss issues with your partner than cheat and it's better to break off the relationship before moving on, but most people prefer to cheat and try with someone new before breaking up. Most probably because people are afraid to be single. So they decide to stay in relationships that do not satisfy them and then they cheat when they find someone that could be potentially better for them.

Like I said deep topic .
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Old 10-31-2017, 04:19 PM
  #140
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I agree with you, but the cheating topic is kind of deep one . It's difficult to agree on a general rule which type of cheating is worse because different people have different problems with cheating.

Some people have issues with cheating because they care what people think about them. No one could see emotional cheating so they do not care about it. Physical cheating however leaves marks.

Then there are other people who are possessive so for them both types of cheating sucks. And others find cheating as disrespect.

I do separate the types of cheating but for different reasons:

1. Emotional cheating - It means that the person is not happy in the relationship and looks for something else. They have two options - either work it out and find what they are missing or move on with someone else.
2. Physical cheating - It either starts with emotional cheating (so see point 1) or it's pure physical which means that the person needs more than one sex partner. So it's also sign of dissatisfaction on their part.

Of course in a perfect world it's better to discuss issues with your partner than cheat and it's better to break off the relationship before moving on, but most people prefer to cheat and try with someone new before breaking up. Most probably because people are afraid to be single. So they decide to stay in relationships that do not satisfy them and then they cheat when they find someone that could be potentially better for them.

Like I said deep topic .
Yes.

Yes, it all depends on the type of cheating. Some people can go to a bar, meet someone randomly and have sex. That would be physical cheating without emotional cheating being involved. But some do like you said... emotional cheat then physically cheat.

Here's an example of just emotional cheating... the ex-horrible friend of mine... she emotionally cheated not once but twice on her boyfriend she was basically married to. She had emotional affairs with two men she worked with, literally six months apart. They were both married with children. She almost kissed them multiple times but held back.. as if she justified holding back as being "okay" and not crossing the line while she would exchange poetry with them, go on walks around parks and beaches over lunch, in depth conversations, talking about what it would be like to be romantically together, literally having a fantasy physical relationship with them with words.

That to me is much, much worse than her meeting someone randomly and having sex and that's it. That is why I think emotionally cheating is much worse. Both emotional and physical cheating is obviously even worse.

So yes, it totally depends.
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Old 10-31-2017, 10:11 PM
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Yes.

Yes, it all depends on the type of cheating. Some people can go to a bar, meet someone randomly and have sex. That would be physical cheating without emotional cheating being involved. But some do like you said... emotional cheat then physically cheat.
Definitely . And then it depends on what hurts more. It is different for different people.

Quote:
Here's an example of just emotional cheating... the ex-horrible friend of mine... she emotionally cheated not once but twice on her boyfriend she was basically married to. She had emotional affairs with two men she worked with, literally six months apart. They were both married with children. She almost kissed them multiple times but held back.. as if she justified holding back as being "okay" and not crossing the line while she would exchange poetry with them, go on walks around parks and beaches over lunch, in depth conversations, talking about what it would be like to be romantically together, literally having a fantasy physical relationship with them with words.
This is definitely emotional cheating . She not just liked someone on some level, she imagined being in relationship with them and she did everything but sex. Honestly it's not always about sex. It's about the desire to want to be with someone else.

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That to me is much, much worse than her meeting someone randomly and having sex and that's it. That is why I think emotionally cheating is much worse. Both emotional and physical cheating is obviously even worse.
I agree with you . And what sucks is that she did it twice. I do not understand why people would want to stay in a relationship with a person and then do this and not just once, but twice and maybe even more. You are just not subjected now to her cheating , but this does not mean that she does not do it.

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So yes, it totally depends.
It also depends on the age. Like I get that in high school this could happen. In your adult life is a bit different if you do things like that.
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Old 11-01-2017, 01:28 PM
  #142
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Definitely . And then it depends on what hurts more. It is different for different people.
Right, it really does depend on many factors and how people digest the situation.

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This is definitely emotional cheating . She not just liked someone on some level, she imagined being in relationship with them and she did everything but sex. Honestly it's not always about sex. It's about the desire to want to be with someone else.
Exactly. I had many conversations with her about this. She actually believed that I was too “traditional” and couldn’t see that it was possible to love and care about more than one person in a romantic way without crossing the line. She thought love is love and as long as you love it was okay. Yes, she was an Aquarius so it reminded me of the free love hippie sort of thing. I basically told her this was not about me being too traditional and there was certainly a way to love and care about more than one person in a romantic way without crossing the line... being single, dating a million others if you wanted just not being in a committed relationship. She expected me to tell her that what she was doing was OK. I’m sorry but I wasn’t about to go there. I tried not to judge the situation but I never supported it. I basically said it was her life and she makes her own choices.

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I agree with you . And what sucks is that she did it twice. I do not understand why people would want to stay in a relationship with a person and then do this and not just once, but twice and maybe even more. You are just not subjected now to her cheating , but this does not mean that she does not do it.
Exactly. Her excuse was that there was a child involved so she didn’t want to leave the father of her child. She knew she ultimately didn’t want to be with him and thought having emotional affairs was to way to fulfill her needs and not break up with the father of her child. Truth be told, she wasn’t thinking of her child at all. She was only thinking of herself. Her child at the time was an infant with the one affair and then a little over a year old with the other. He was too young to have to deal with this. Her child would have never endured the separation. He would have grown up with two parents separated but civil and always there for him. The child would have been way better off. So to make it even more horrible, she basically used her baby as an excuse.

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It also depends on the age. Like I get that in high school this could happen. In your adult life is a bit different if you do things like that.
Right. She certainly was not a teenager when the affairs were taking place. Also, the second emotional affair... the wife of the guy actually WORKED at the same place that they worked too. So the guy would lie to his wife about where he was going for his lunch break and he'd go with my ex-friend instead. Absolutely disgusting.

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Old 11-01-2017, 05:50 PM
  #143
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I think it depends on how we define emotional cheating. What you describe is horrible and much worse than physical cheating but as a person who has had to deal with those scars, it's the same. I find it easier to overcome the fact that someone emotionally relies on someone else because it means there are two parties to the destruction of that relationship not just the one who is spending time with another. But, that's different from making plans to be with someone without touching/being intimate. I have seen some people identify having a friend you rely on when you can't connect with your significant other as emotional cheating. To me it depends if there are romantic feelings and real romantic feelings or not. It's all layered.

But, physical is just as bad and cuts like a knife.
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Old 11-01-2017, 11:38 PM
  #144
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Right, it really does depend on many factors and how people digest the situation.
For sure . Also on the people's expectations. Not everyone cares about cheating. If two people that have no problems with cheating are together then they won't have issues about being with other people.

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Exactly. I had many conversations with her about this. She actually believed that I was too “traditional” and couldn’t see that it was possible to love and care about more than one person in a romantic way without crossing the line. She thought love is love and as long as you love it was okay. Yes, she was an Aquarius so it reminded me of the free love hippie sort of thing. I basically told her this was not about me being too traditional and there was certainly a way to love and care about more than one person in a romantic way without crossing the line... being single, dating a million others if you wanted just not being in a committed relationship. She expected me to tell her that what she was doing was OK. I’m sorry but I wasn’t about to go there. I tried not to judge the situation but I never supported it. I basically said it was her life and she makes her own choices.
I am still not decided how I feel about this. I have been cheated on, but it was one of these cases where the person cheated on me, tried with someone else for a while (never asked for how long) and then broke up with me. I had no issues with the cheating. Till that day I do not feel bad about him cheating. I respect the fact that he was honest with me and at that point I was also not sure whether I wanted to be with him. I guess we both knew that we are not for each other, but were not brave enough to break it off. In the end I was thankful that he did it.

The relationship was toxic for both of us. I tried to break up with him numerous times, but he would get depressed, threaten with suicide and stuff and it was just not healthy at all.

On the other hand I believe that we meet people for different reasons in our life. And we could have special connection with people without being actually together romantically. In that sense we could be married to someone and not have the deep connection we have with someone else. Is this emotional cheating or not?

I still have not explored this spiritual aspect of my life and soul to be able to decide how I feel about cheating.

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Exactly. Her excuse was that there was a child involved so she didn’t want to leave the father of her child. She knew she ultimately didn’t want to be with him and thought having emotional affairs was to way to fulfill her needs and not break up with the father of her child. Truth be told, she wasn’t thinking of her child at all. She was only thinking of herself. Her child at the time was an infant with the one affair and then a little over a year old with the other. He was too young to have to deal with this. Her child would have never endured the separation. He would have grown up with two parents separated but civil and always there for him. The child would have been way better off. So to make it even more horrible, she basically used her baby as an excuse.
True and honestly even if the kid was old enough this is not a good reason. If the kid is old enough, they would pick up the issues parents have. I know a woman that cheated on her husband numerous times and her daughter was at some point decoy. It destroyed the relationship they had. They divorced in the end, but the daughter is still closer to her dad then her mother. She is even closer with her stepmother and stepbrother on her father's side than on her mother's side.

I was able to pick up the issues between my parents when I was still 5/6 years old. I would go to my mom and tell her that if she wants to get divorce I would support them. I did not want to watch them arguing all the time. And this does not mean that I do not love my father. I do and I have close relationship with him too. I love them both individually, but when I was younger them together was more annoying than anything else.

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Right. She certainly was not a teenager when the affairs were taking place. Also, the second emotional affair... the wife of the guy actually WORKED at the same place that they worked too. So the guy would lie to his wife about where he was going for his lunch break and he'd go with my ex-friend instead. Absolutely disgusting.
On the other hand though I wonder how his wife did not realize this. How absentminded have to be to not catch your husband with a co-worker of you both?
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Old 11-02-2017, 03:33 PM
  #145
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I am still not decided how I feel about this. I have been cheated on, but it was one of these cases where the person cheated on me, tried with someone else for a while (never asked for how long) and then broke up with me. I had no issues with the cheating. Till that day I do not feel bad about him cheating. I respect the fact that he was honest with me and at that point I was also not sure whether I wanted to be with him. I guess we both knew that we are not for each other, but were not brave enough to break it off. In the end I was thankful that he did it.

The relationship was toxic for both of us. I tried to break up with him numerous times, but he would get depressed, threaten with suicide and stuff and it was just not healthy at all.

On the other hand I believe that we meet people for different reasons in our life. And we could have special connection with people without being actually together romantically. In that sense we could be married to someone and not have the deep connection we have with someone else. Is this emotional cheating or not?

I still have not explored this spiritual aspect of my life and soul to be able to decide how I feel about cheating.



True and honestly even if the kid was old enough this is not a good reason. If the kid is old enough, they would pick up the issues parents have. I know a woman that cheated on her husband numerous times and her daughter was at some point decoy. It destroyed the relationship they had. They divorced in the end, but the daughter is still closer to her dad then her mother. She is even closer with her stepmother and stepbrother on her father's side than on her mother's side.

I was able to pick up the issues between my parents when I was still 5/6 years old. I would go to my mom and tell her that if she wants to get divorce I would support them. I did not want to watch them arguing all the time. And this does not mean that I do not love my father. I do and I have close relationship with him too. I love them both individually, but when I was younger them together was more annoying than anything else.



On the other hand though I wonder how his wife did not realize this. How absentminded have to be to not catch your husband with a co-worker of you both?
It sounds like your relationship and the cheating was horrible but deep down you knew the relationship was not meant to be. Sucks you couldn't have broken up with him without him throwing a fit and threatening suicide. Wow that's awful. How long were you with him? Do you ever see or talk to him now?

Yes, her using the baby/toddler at any age was wrong and ridiculous.

According to the second guy he had the "perfect" relationship with his wife and children. Yes, they had two children. They got along great and had a wonderful life together. But his excuse was it was too perfect, thus a little boring and he found excitement with my ex-friend. According to the ex-friend his wife was very nice and she backed up the story about their marriage being fine too. It was such a weird deal.

Shu, yes, both emotional and physical cheating can cut like a knife, it all depends on the situation. Sorry you have personal experience.
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Old 11-07-2017, 06:01 AM
  #146
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I think it depends on how we define emotional cheating. What you describe is horrible and much worse than physical cheating but as a person who has had to deal with those scars, it's the same. I find it easier to overcome the fact that someone emotionally relies on someone else because it means there are two parties to the destruction of that relationship not just the one who is spending time with another. But, that's different from making plans to be with someone without touching/being intimate. I have seen some people identify having a friend you rely on when you can't connect with your significant other as emotional cheating. To me it depends if there are romantic feelings and real romantic feelings or not. It's all layered.

But, physical is just as bad and cuts like a knife.
yes this. I did like sam and andy for a while believe me, but I prefer nick for her. They were better seasons 1 and 2.
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Old 11-07-2017, 09:21 AM
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It sounds like your relationship and the cheating was horrible but deep down you knew the relationship was not meant to be. Sucks you couldn't have broken up with him without him throwing a fit and threatening suicide. Wow that's awful. How long were you with him? Do you ever see or talk to him now?
The relationship lasted an year and a half. I have seen him once or twice after we have broken up but it was while we were still living in the dorms. This happened when I was in university. He added me in Facebook like say 3 years ago, but I have not had any contact with him. I don't see a reason. I am not mad, upset or hurt. I just don't see the point.

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According to the second guy he had the "perfect" relationship with his wife and children. Yes, they had two children. They got along great and had a wonderful life together. But his excuse was it was too perfect, thus a little boring and he found excitement with my ex-friend. According to the ex-friend his wife was very nice and she backed up the story about their marriage being fine too. It was such a weird deal.
It does sound weird, but I have never cheated so I can't say. I have liked other men while I have been with this guy which is why I wanted to break up with him but like I said it was not possible. Still though the fact I took this as a sign to break up because it was not that normal to think about being with other men.
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Old 11-08-2017, 12:16 PM
  #148
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The relationship lasted an year and a half. I have seen him once or twice after we have broken up but it was while we were still living in the dorms. This happened when I was in university. He added me in Facebook like say 3 years ago, but I have not had any contact with him. I don't see a reason. I am not mad, upset or hurt. I just don't see the point.



It does sound weird, but I have never cheated so I can't say. I have liked other men while I have been with this guy which is why I wanted to break up with him but like I said it was not possible. Still though the fact I took this as a sign to break up because it was not that normal to think about being with other men.
You followed what your intuition was telling you and it was the best route. It's good that at least you guys don't "hate" each other. Not everyone can say that, especially since relationships that end are never easy.
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Old 11-20-2017, 06:03 AM
  #149
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Yeah I know people seem to hate nick fopr cheating, but so did Gail. I think it was worse what nick did like chloe said no wonder hes falling for andy. She ships Nick and Andy.
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Old 11-22-2017, 08:38 AM
  #150
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Nick was in a losing situation... Gail is gay and that would have come out and Andy never stopped loving Sam and was meant to be with him. I think Juliette was the best match for him.
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