[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) Could be but men do not see this like that. Unlike women who can change their mind and start viewing male friend as male interest, men rarely do this. If they treat a woman in the beginning as a friend, she is always treated as a friend and nothing else. Men rarely change the way they see a woman. It's either interested in her or just friend. Men also rarely seek close friendships with women so it would be either casual friend (sharing common group of friends) or romantic interest. This is based on conversations I have had with male co-workers and friends.

Definitely. I also believe that most guys (I say most) cannot have true friendships with girls because they have some sort of attraction. Not all, of course, but many. That's why it's always a bit different.

Every guy friend Sara has had/has wanted/wants to date her, lol.

She is lucky that is great looking. Even if she does not know how to flirt, she won't complain about not having men liking her. I am not in that camp so for me not being able to flirt is an issue .

Haha

Being INFJ you definitely felt the awkwardness way more than them. Do you think that there is any chance for Sara to like him back at some point?

It's possible because she already knows him, has been friends for years so there's a foundation. But it would take some time.

[Jerry D]

Originally Posted by Wilpen (View Post) How does Teresa feel about driving?

She likes to drive.

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) Of course we do know that there are men who seek genuinely just friendships with women. So men who are like don't be offended . We are just saying that most men usually look for something more.

Precisely.

How many guy friends has she had like that?

In middle school there was like a group of 20, both guys and girls. Every guy friend of hers would have dated her in a heartbeat, lol. She did date one for a long time actually (most popular in the school, good hockey player, a bit cocky but sweet) but she broke up with him.

Since high school, the group got smaller... I would say she now has about five/six really good guys friends and yes... same thing with liking her, lol. She dated a Sophomore for a while (when she was a Freshman) and he fell head over heels... so much so he was openly crying about it when she broke up. He was broken. That is one of the reasons why she broke up. He got way too serious too quickly and the emotional/clingy stuff concerned her. Of course she had girls saying he was special, they'd date him in a heartbeat... she was like... "Go for it." Sara cannot feel tied down remotely. If she does, she gets very irritable and eventually breaks free. She needs to date kind guys but with a strength and confidence as well. Then add in the Juniors and Seniors who want to date her. It's an interesting situation. My sister and brother-in-law actually set a rule that Sara could not date Juniors or Seniors... well this rule went into place when she was a Freshman. Not that she ever would have (she understood that vast age difference of a Freshman versus Senior) but they made it official. It's different now of course since she's almost a Junior but Kris watched the situation very closely.

Hey your statement above kind of proved my claim .

Yes. LOL

Why do you think that it would take time for her? Is it because he is younger than her and she has always seen him as the younger boy she played with?

Nah, it's not the age difference. She never even saw him as one year younger, still doesn't really. It's just because they have been through it all together as children and then suddenly hormones kicked in and it just got weird, especially since Tyler has always been open about having a crush on her. So it got weird when puberty/hormones happened. Due to their history, they could get back there though, it would just take a little time.

[Jerry D]

Speaking as a man, I have had a lifelong friendship with a woman I grew up with back in The Bronx (New York) and we were never interested in each other romantically. I also have on-line friendships with some women (like you, Michelle as an example) and there’s one woman from my old neighborhood I’m friends with through Facebook and she sends me a nice message every day, so some men can have friendships with women without any romantic undertones. I will freely admit that when I was young and single if I was interested in a woman and she said that she just wanted to be friends that I couldn’t be friends with her because it would hurt too much to be around her.

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by Jerry D (View Post) She likes to drive.

I'm with your wife.

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by Jerry D (View Post) Speaking as a man, I have had a lifelong friendship with a woman I grew up with back in The Bronx (New York) and we were never interested in each other romantically. I also have on-line friendships with some women (like you, Michelle as an example) and there’s one woman from my old neighborhood I’m friends with through Facebook and she sends me a nice message every day, so some men can have friendships with women without any romantic undertones. I will freely admit that when I was young and single if I was interested in a woman and she said that she just wanted to be friends that I couldn’t be friends with her because it would hurt too much to be around her.

Of course you are in this category.

Awe, do you still talk to that woman you grew up with in The Bronx? That is really special.

[Jerry D]

Originally Posted by Wilpen (View Post) Of course you are in this category.

Aww, thanks!

Originally Posted by Wilpen (View Post) Awe, do you still talk to that woman you grew up with in The Bronx? That is really special.

Yes we do. I always make it a point to call her on her birthday to wish her a Happy Birthday and we still talk on the phone from time to time. I last saw her a few years ago at our Grammar School Reunion and I always send her a birthday card (a real card not an e-card).

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by Jerry D (View Post) Aww, thanks! Yes we do. I always make it a point to call her on her birthday to wish her a Happy Birthday and we still talk on the phone from time to time. I last saw her a few years ago at our Grammar School Reunion and I always send her a birthday card (a real card not an e-card).

I never knew this!!!! How wonderful!!!!!!

When did you two become friends? Is she married? Still lives in NYC?

[Jerry D]

Originally Posted by Wilpen (View Post) I never knew this!!!! How wonderful!!!!!! When did you two become friends? Is she married? Still lives in NYC?

We became friends in 1st Grade, and her mother was friends with my mother and father.

She's divorced and she lives in Alaska, but she's in New York City right now because her mother is ill.

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by Jerry D (View Post) We became friends in 1st Grade, and her mother was friends with my mother and father. She's divorced and she lives in Alaska, but she's in New York City right now because her mother is ill.

Sorry to hear about her mother.

Alaska... beautiful state.

I am so happy for you that you have this special childhood friendship. It certainly has endured and is meant to be.

[Jerry D]

Originally Posted by Wilpen (View Post) Sorry to hear about her mother.

Thanks.

Originally Posted by Wilpen (View Post) Alaska... beautiful state.

Yes it is, from what I hear. She loves it up there.

Originally Posted by Wilpen (View Post) I am so happy for you that you have this special childhood friendship. It certainly has endured and is meant to be.

Yes, I do consider it to be something very special that I cherish.

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by Jerry D (View Post) Thanks. Yes it is, from what I hear. She loves it up there. Yes, I do consider it to be something very special that I cherish.

That's so wonderful, especially since you guys are also connected due to the past and her mother being close with your parents too. That's really neat.

[Jerry D]

Originally Posted by Wilpen (View Post) That's so wonderful, especially since you guys are also connected due to the past and her mother being close with your parents too. That's really neat.

Her mother grew up in the same neighborhood as my father and her mother's sister was married to my father's cousin, so there's a long history between our family and her family. I was also friends with her younger sister and their cousin was my childhood best friend, who I'm still in touch with.

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by Jerry D (View Post) Her mother grew up in the same neighborhood as my father and her mother's sister was married to my father's cousin, so there's a long history between our family and her family. I was also friends with her younger sister and their cousin was my childhood best friend, who I'm still in touch with.

The two families are very distantly related too with a layered history. That's so neat, Jerry! I wish you could take some of her family and move them down to Houston so you could spend more time with them. It's so wonderful you keep in touch with a couple from this family. They seem like they are more of a true family for you than your distant siblings. I love that you have these dynamics.

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) So not only I was not able to sleep last night due to congestion but I also started losing voice. My throat is not sore, but it seems that the congestion as impact on my vocal cords.

That sucks. My voice usually always goes with this sort of thing but a miracle happened and my voice was never affected.

Are you working? I figured these days would be the worst. If it follows the way it worked for the three of us (including Anna and Sara) you'll start to feel much better by tomorrow/Thursday. It happens very quickly. I'm still coughing today from the drainage but it's post-infection drainage, not active viral drainage if that makes sense so it's lingering but I'm not miserable with it.

One more day of work left.