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Old 03-14-2018, 10:40 AM
  #61
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Originally Posted by The Apt (View Post)
Wow, what an a$$. Do you think it could be because you didn't wait for him before sending out the bid? It seems like when you exercise any type of independence (such as working from home, sending out the bid without him seeing it) he has to get in a dig or two, making up dumb complaints that he knows are meaningless.
I think that you're right. He's such a control freak that he doesn't like it when any one of us does anything on our own. I tried to have him look at the bid before I sent it but he kept putting me off, so I sent the bid because the customer wanted the bid that day. I can't win no matter what I do.
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Old 03-14-2018, 10:47 AM
  #62
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I think that you're right. He's such a control freak that he doesn't like it when any one of us does anything on our own. I tried to have him look at the bid before I sent it but he kept putting me off, so I sent the bid because the customer wanted the bid that day. I can't win no matter what I do.
Exactly. You did what you could do. I really think that's his deal. He needs control and when he doesn't get it, he complains and makes sure everyone in his path understands in one way or another he is the one that has the most power and leads the charge. I cannot stand arrogance. The best leaders are the ones that do not need to constantly let everyone know they are actual leaders. My sister is a perfect example. She leads a huge research lab of 40ish people and everyone loves her. There is respect, they know she's the leader but she does so in a way where no one feels arrogance or annoyance. Your boss is something else. I am so sorry you have to deal with him.
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Old 03-14-2018, 01:09 PM
  #63
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Plus I have also my own goal and tasks to do. I have to choose who I need to do it.



This is true . Those people I understand and sympathize with .



I am in the middle about this. If someone can't identify that has problems I highly doubt that upper management that is not every day into the work would too. Especially when said management does not even live or work in the same country.

I would not call such people wimpy or weak, but I also would not expect someone else to be the knight in shining armor to do all of the work for them - to find the problem, find the ways to fix it and then fix it. There should be some initiative from the people that have issues at some point.
It definitely depends on the office environment and type of business too. What I don't get is why they didn't question the people leaving. I guess that might be HRs job and obviously she's dirty so she'd never say a word. But when there's a pattern of people leaving, you would think you'd investigate if there is a cause.

Your work environment really relies on a group approach too. One aspect cannot work without the other aspect, etc. So you'd think it'd be more obvious where things are breaking down and why. But it probably does start with HR and the higher ups that don't see it day to day would be notified since they'd be less aware. When you have HR with her hands dirty it makes it more difficult.

Yes, some of the employees within the group obviously individually don't help matters when there's no initiative. Then again, HR and ex-boss were hiring that one girl since she was hot and basically isn't the greatest when it comes to production/talent. It's not really her fault she was hired because of something sickening like looks and not because she was the best candidate for the job.

So there's lots of factors.
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Old 03-14-2018, 01:11 PM
  #64
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Hm Michelle can say more but I think that exactly the control freaks are micro managers so she is definitely on something.
Definitely true. Then again, when I suggested that option to Jerry, it was one of those INFJ/Psychic moments where I just picked it up too. Can't really explain how I knew, it just comes to me and then I naturally regurgitate what I pick up. LOL
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Old 03-14-2018, 06:57 PM
  #65
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Definitely true. Then again, when I suggested that option to Jerry, it was one of those INFJ/Psychic moments where I just picked it up too. Can't really explain how I knew, it just comes to me and then I naturally regurgitate what I pick up. LOL
Yes you have him dead to rights. I'm just so tired of it all.
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Old 03-14-2018, 07:10 PM
  #66
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Yes you have him dead to rights. I'm just so tired of it all.
I totally understand. I hope you have as little interaction as possible with him the rest of the week.
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Old 03-15-2018, 02:43 AM
  #67
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When you have a small company, a team of 15 people and relatively low salary you don't question that much the people leaving part. Bosses have always used the excuse that people were leaving because of the low salary. The other thing was up until last year they had no boss on local level so it was easy for them to cover stuff.

Upper management (read Germany) seems to have seen enough as they were not surprised by what I was saying though.
Makes sense they didn't realize. So great that you opened their eyes. The fact that they were not surprised means they had a hunch but you filled in the blanks.

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For sure . Especially when there was not a CTO on Bulgarian level. She was able to protect him and everything was neatly covered between her, the jerk and the ex boss.
Yep. So dirty.

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It's not that girl's fault. I completely agree. I do not even think that hiring her is the worst thing here. The worst thing is actually not just hiring her, but also telling her that she is doing awesome (when she is not), giving her bigger salary raise compared to others that have been in the team longer, have more experience and have shown to be more capable. And that is not her fault either. It's obviously management's fault. In that case by management I mean HR, the jerk and the ex boss who are making those decisions. If they were honest with her it would have been better for everyone involved. Now she gets inflated ego and you cannot even train her properly as she is told that she is so good so you can't even say that she made a mistake. In fact she is sort of a victim now because they basically screwed her chances for learning something and getting better.
Exactly! She is a victim now. She won't get better. They basically created her and molded her in a way they can control. Did they really do all of this because she's hot? Or was there another element? Maybe by giving her these things and not telling the truth she feels obligated to not SEE what they are up to? She won't leave like others have and she'll always be positive about them because of what they have given her. Of course she will have zero advancement opportunities but she's probably satisfied. It's like almost a form of brain washing.

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Definitely .

So yesterday I had two organizational meetings. One meeting was between me, O, P and M. They are the most experienced guys in the team. I had told both O and P for the separation and had asked them if they want to be in my team and they both agreed. However P and M have an old conflict or rather P has with M. M does not care about P at all. So I deliberately did not tell P two weeks ago that M would be my deputy. I had to do it yesterday though and as expected P had a strong reaction about it. Basically he said that he can't work with a boss he does not talk to and as he does not talk to M he might decide to leave. I told him that M is not his boss. I will be his boss. Anyway there obviously P has different opinion about ex boss/jerk compared to me and M. I told him that it's OK, but he does not know a lot of stuff. I told him that M has been repeated threatened to be fired, I have been told repeatedly that the team does not need M and M himself complained numerous times to ex boss for said stuff before saying anything to anyone else. I told P that I understand him, but I also understand M and we will have to accept that we have different opinions.
Why does P have a problem with M? Why don't they talk?

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Then in the afternoon I had two other meetings. One was organizational one where man the other Development team has some issues with our architect. Like it's so obvious. Only when it comes to work, but still. Luckily for now they do not show the same attitude towards me. I mean they treat me differently compared to the ex boss, jerk and architect. Definitely nicer.

Afterwards I finally had a meeting with my new team where I basically explained what's going on. I omitted the whole personal conflict between me and my ex boss. I do not think that they need to know that. The CTO came and was there for the whole meeting. For now people seem OK with this change. At least I did not see a strong reaction against it yesterday. I told them that we will have one on one meeting with everyone where we could discuss personal questions or issues. Not everyone feels that comfortable asking questions in front of everyone.
Good that both meetings went fairly smoothly. Why does the Development team have some issues with the architect?
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Old 03-15-2018, 02:44 AM
  #68
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So cool how the process went down !
Thanks! Considering how much I overthink, it's nice to know that my psychic stuff/intuition just naturally arrives and I don't have to question it. It's a nice change. LOL
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Old 03-15-2018, 03:20 AM
  #69
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Definitely . They said themselves that they had the feeling and the hunch which is why they were asking questions about the team performance and efficiency.
Interesting.

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This is exactly what they wanted to achieve . I am thinking that it's not about her being hot, but more about having people they can trust to always like them. People that would never question them.

I do believe though that they decided to use her hotness to control M. I can't prove that, but it is just hunch I have. It is no wonder that exactly she (that gets along so well with the ex boss) decides to flirt with the guy that openly cannot stand said ex boss. It is just weird.
It makes sense. It is all about control but the hotness is almost the cover, the joke so they don't have to admit the obvious, even to each other.

Very possible they tried to use her to control M. It's possible they told her M found her hot or something so she'd flirt or something like that. You even said she's quite beautiful and M is more or less average looking. Not that she wouldn't go for someone average but you did mention the difference so there could be more to the situation and she was specifically flirting for a professional/game playing reason.

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P is a bit specific. He loves to take over discussions for long periods of time. He is also a bit more sensitive compared to other people in the team. He is also all for hierarchy and harmony. P disagrees with M's opinion on said ex boss. So when M declared his opinion in front of others, P reported M to me, ex boss and jerk. Naturally there was a meeting between O, P, M, me and the ex boss where P claimed that M had claimed that the team has low efficiency and that M can do those few tasks on his own (which is true btw). P got offended because he interprets this as M telling him that he is not good employee. That part I can't help him with because well P is slower than M and that is just a fact. I won't tell him that of course.

P also has different opinion about ex boss and he disagrees with M. I told him that it's OK, but M and I obviously think differently and we will have to agree to disagree there. And last point (where I think that you will identify with P) is that P thinks that M has no right to discuss said ex boss and how he is doing as a boss with other people behind his back. I told him that he is correct, but both M and I have tried numerous times to discuss it with ex boss and he refused so naturally we found another way.

To each their own though. I just had the first one on one conversation where the guy basically said that he is afraid that P would try to monopolize conversations too much and that we have to find how to control him. For now more people have issues with P than M and that matters the most. I want to keep both but if P asks me to choose between him and M I choose M.

In other news yesterday M was like "You did all of this all alone. I would not be able to do what you did". I told him that he helped because I used him to fulfill my plan and he was like "I know and I am OK with this".
When did this issue between P and M happen? Recently or has this been going on a while?

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For the previous 2-3 years the architect was working on introducing new process for working in the company. This new process was integrated into a new tool that we started using. The other Development is not happy at all with the new process.
LOL Got it. Which person do you side with here?
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Old 03-15-2018, 03:23 AM
  #70
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Definitely . Why are you up so early?
I'm trying to figure that out myself. I've been up since 2 AM. Buddy got up (he was in bed with me) and I bet I felt him when he got up. Typically I wouldn't get up even with him walking around because I don't even wake up when he ends up in bed with me either, lol. He's always in his little bed on the floor next to me initially but ends up finding a way to get in bed with me eventually, lol. But for some reason I did this morning and I've been up ever since. I'm not even sure why Buddy got up and was walking around either, it was strange. Maybe he "saw" a Spirit or two. Otherwise it's weird we'd both get up like that for zero reason. He looked content if even up, he didn't need to go out or anything but something stirred him and then I woke up too. I've already fed Buddy, had a little breakfast, showered and have started to work. I might try and sleep a bit more soon. I do still feel tired. I crashed I think around 11 so I'm going on 3 hours of sleep.
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Old 03-15-2018, 03:53 AM
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Exactly! The hotness is just a plus they can use.
Yep.

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Either that or something like "Look how smart M is etc". In any case the HR most probably guided her towards M.
They are so dirty, they said something to her.

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I would not call her beautiful. She has the sexiness going on - slim (like skinny even), clear skin, big enough boobs enough for her body size. So she fits in the mold for sexy woman for our society. Beauty for me is more about energy and presence and in that sense I do not see it in her.

M is not definitely not 6'1 tall, muscular body etc so yeah in that sense I do think that there is difference in looks standard. To be honest it's not just that she tried with him because he is charming and knows how to woe people and make them like him. I mean even today the male co-worker we had discussions commented on M's blue eyes and how noticeable they are. It's how much she tried and persisted that makes me believe that there was something more. You said it yourself. No woman takes rejection and then tries again in the span of 1 month.
A male co-worker mentioned his blue eyes? Is he gay? Otherwise, this seems weird to me, LOL. Definitely her persistence draws a red flag.

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They have never gotten along super good, but the issue started last year around October so basically around the same time when were the evaluations. I do believe that they manipulated P and turn him against K and M.
Horrible.

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I am in the middle. I do not think that the process is the worst thing ever, but it's just too complex. I also dislike one of the basic principles behind this process. Basically the general idea of this process is a pull mechanism. So there are queues of tasks and everyone is free to take whatever task they want.

What I dislike about this is a simple fact - most people do not find motivation from themselves. It's external. This pull mechanism gave our ex boss the freedom to not lead and coordinate people because he expects them to take tasks and he does not assign them. The other teams have issues exactly with this.

Now I see a huge queue of 20/30 tasks and I am lost in finding what I want and need. I believe that leaders should push tasks to people. Sure people can take initiative and take tasks on their own, but to expect everyone to do it is unrealistic for me.
I see what you mean. No wonder your ex boss was for this... his lazy a$$ doesn't have to actually lead and work so he can game play and plan manipulation tactics with jerk and HR moron instead.
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Old 03-15-2018, 04:22 AM
  #72
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I totally see this .



No. The guy is not gay. He has girlfriend. We were discussing that giving too much freedom for the team is not a good idea and that we need to lead them in a way where we say "Why don't we try this instead of that?". Anyway I said that of course I will give the team the freedom to take initiative, but I won't let them do whatever they want. The guy was like so M can slap them and I was like "It would be more like me than him" and the guy was like "M with his blue eyes". It was weird, but the fact that he mentions his blue eyes means that people notice his eyes.
Oh okay, that conversation makes sense. If the guy just came right out and said something about his eyes it would seem kind of weird, lol. Then again I am weird too because I don't notice eyes unless I like the Energy of the person. For me it comes from within and then I notice superficial things. I can't explain it.

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For sure .



We have definite proof for K. There was a meeting that my ex boss called last year with the jerk, the CTO, P, O, M and K where basically P had prepared a list of 27 points to prove how K did not his job. We doubt that this was a random occurrence or coincidence. Someone prepared K for sure. So I have no doubts that they manipulated P to be against M. Have in mind that P married a co-worker from the other Development team and M was invited to that wedding. O or K were not so it seems a weird change. P also had issues in the past with O.
Interesting. Shady stuff going on for sure.

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Exactly . It's an excuse for leaders to not lead. No other team in our company adopted this mechanism.
Wow.
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Old 03-15-2018, 04:24 AM
  #73
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Hm I definitely think that you and Buddy woke up for the same reason. A spirit is a good explanation .

I hope that you get to sleep a bit more.
Thanks. Now that I'm on my second cup of coffee I am not sure that's going to take place anytime soon. However, MARCH MADNESS starts at 11 and I want to be wide awake for the games so I should force myself to try and sleep soon at least for a couple of hours.
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Old 03-15-2018, 04:31 AM
  #74
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I do not notice just the eyes too. I notice the energy, but M has the energy for people to notice him. People naturally turn to him for advise, guidance and assistance. People just feel comfortable sharing stuff with him no matter if they are close or not.
I'm not sure if I would, lol, but I see what you mean about others.

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For sure .



I mean do you seriously think that it's possible for a team to self lead themselves? Especially over 20 something people. I do not believe this for a second. You will either have no person to want to be a leader or you will have 5 leaders that can't get along. You could give the freedom you want, but you need to be firm on the ground and show the team that in the end of the day there is one leader that will guide them no matter how.
Totally agree.
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Old 03-15-2018, 04:32 AM
  #75
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Ah I see. It starts at 11 AM I assume? Any teams that you particularly root for?
11 AM, yes.

Ohio State, the Big Ten Conference in general, and Betty's Villanova.
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