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Old 02-13-2018, 10:44 AM
  #76
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Originally Posted by The Apt (View Post)
Exactly to all of this.

Yes, it's very possible (even probable) you will notice the same thing with the French.
If I am not too drained because of the interaction . If I need recharge I start to not notice stuff. Also for the most part I give this unwelcoming stance and people rarely try things with me. Conversation yes. Hitting on me - no. At least in this case me being INTJ helps .
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Old 02-13-2018, 10:48 AM
  #77
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If I am honest while removing the ugly inside of her... she's one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Gorgeous actually... crystal blue eyes, dark long wavy hair. Her facial features are doll-like... soft, delicate, gentle, 100% perfect without a flaw. Definitely beautiful and I don't say that loosely about everyone. Superficially like I said, she's drop dead gorgeous. Too bad where it counts she's ugly though.
It does sounds that she is quite good looking woman! At least based on this.

Quote:
Definitely energy played a part. I just found it funny that not even the NYC men took a second look at her... the reasons for this:

1. NYers in general mind their business. No one stops for small talk or extra niceness. It is a busy city and people just mind their business and do their thing.
Same happens in the city where I live. People are in general busy with other stuff.

Quote:
2. American men in general are just more reserved and respectful compared to other cultures. They really are. They are like Canadian men too. American men and Canadian men are awesome in this way.
Bulgarian men are not the most mannered ones and still they would not do anything while on the streets. They would hit on women in bars and that's it. At work they might forget that there are women around and basically act like they are doing around men, but that's it. Of course there are exceptions, but men being perverted while you are on the street here happens only in the ghetto.

I am lucky to know men that would do the nice thing without expecting in exchange or flirting. They would just open doors for me, help me with heavy backpack, do me favors that require male expertise or strength and I know that they are not doing it for something because they are involved. So it'a also a matter of what you are looking for as a woman. I am not into the perverted types so obviously around me there are no such men. And if a woman like her expects to see such men around me, she won't succeed.
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3. They were picking up on her energy.
They totally picked up on her energy.
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Old 02-13-2018, 10:57 AM
  #78
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Originally Posted by secretk (View Post)
It does sounds that she is quite good looking woman! At least based on this.



Same happens in the city where I live. People are in general busy with other stuff.
I love this type of city.

Quote:
Bulgarian men are not the most mannered ones and still they would not do anything while on the streets. They would hit on women in bars and that's it. At work they might forget that there are women around and basically act like they are doing around men, but that's it. Of course there are exceptions, but men being perverted while you are on the street here happens only in the ghetto.

I am lucky to know men that would do the nice thing without expecting in exchange or flirting. They would just open doors for me, help me with heavy backpack, do me favors that require male expertise or strength and I know that they are not doing it for something because they are involved. So it'a also a matter of what you are looking for as a woman. I am not into the perverted types so obviously around me there are no such men. And if a woman like her expects to see such men around me, she won't succeed.
Glad your country/men are nothing like what we are talking about in France. It seems the only difference between the American/Canadian men and Bulgarian would be in the office. I think that's just culture. Your rules are more relaxed and ours are more strict. I remember talking to a Canadian friend about what she was telling me took place in France and she was appalled. But thankfully in your country it's still way better than what we've seen in France.

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They totally picked up on her energy.
Definitely.
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Old 02-13-2018, 10:57 AM
  #79
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Originally Posted by secretk (View Post)
If I am not too drained because of the interaction . If I need recharge I start to not notice stuff. Also for the most part I give this unwelcoming stance and people rarely try things with me. Conversation yes. Hitting on me - no. At least in this case me being INTJ helps .
That's great.
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:11 AM
  #80
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I love this type of city.
It's a small one by your criteria but for us it's big. Bulgaria's population is around 7 and half millions and 2 millions are in the city where I live. I do not even know my neighbors.

Quote:
Glad your country/men are nothing like what we are talking about in France. It seems the only difference between the American/Canadian men and Bulgarian would be in the office. I think that's just culture. Your rules are more relaxed and ours are more strict. I remember talking to a Canadian friend about what she was telling me took place in France and she was appalled. But thankfully in your country it's still way better than what we've seen in France.
What I have noticed is that it highly depends on the status and education. I am surrounded by educated men and that helps a lot. My best friend is a quite well raised young man. There are basically only two women in his life that he would put above me - his mother and his sister. And I do know that there are certain things in his behavior affected by our friendship, but I have seen how he acts around other women and other female friends and he is always considerate. For example if we are walking together he would always be on the outside so that he is positioned between me and the moving vehicles. It's his way of protection.

His former roommate was in the same college as me and my best friend. He would always be helpful and he had been relationship since high school. He now married this woman and they even have a kid so it's not like he had some agenda.

You know about the co-worker that bought me pepper spray and did not want me to pay. He even offered to beat up the guy for me if the harassing becomes a trend. This guy has girlfriend too.

Few months ago I had to do some repair in the bathroom. It's a long story but I did not want to call someone so I wanted to change the shower head hose on my own. However I needed special tool for this and I had no idea how it's called so I asked my co-workers. O not just told me what I need but he bought it for me. He knows that I love sparkling water and sometimes I ask him to get me one when he goes downstairs to smoke. However there is none the last week so he even asked the people in the place when they will have it back for me.

We received new monitors and I wanted to have two monitors that are the same so I offered M a deal - to exchange the monitors in a way where both of us have the same. I offered him the newer ones, but he decided to let me have the newer ones and got the older ones.

They all open and hold doors for me. They make sure that there is always a chair for me to sit even if means that they will stand still. Overall for the most part I am treated quite well by most of my male co-workers at work.

I obviously have issues with some people, but they are the exception. For the most part you could see that they are raised good.
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:11 AM
  #81
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That's great.
I mean even men recognize this quality of mine to put off other men and such offensive flirts . So it must be pretty serious.
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:22 AM
  #82
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My boss is so predictable. Remember when I said that his boss came in town last week to complain about what we supposedly aren't doing? Well today, my boss is having a meeting with us to "set down new rules." I knew that this would happen. He's such a tool.
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:24 AM
  #83
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My boss is so predictable. Remember when I said that his boss came in town last week to complain about what we supposedly aren't doing? Well today, my boss is having a meeting with us to "set down new rules." I knew that this would happen. He's such a tool.
Your boss is definitely a tool . And you definitely call this. You have to share his brilliant ideas for "improvement".
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:28 AM
  #84
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Originally Posted by Jerry D (View Post)
My boss is so predictable. Remember when I said that his boss came in town last week to complain about what we supposedly aren't doing? Well today, my boss is having a meeting with us to "set down new rules." I knew that this would happen. He's such a tool.
Definitely a tool! When is the meeting? Hope it goes okay. I’m sure there will be a lot of sighing and eye rolling behind his back, lol.
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:33 AM
  #85
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Originally Posted by secretk (View Post)
It's a small one by your criteria but for us it's big. Bulgaria's population is around 7 and half millions and 2 millions are in the city where I live. I do not even know my neighbors.



What I have noticed is that it highly depends on the status and education. I am surrounded by educated men and that helps a lot. My best friend is a quite well raised young man. There are basically only two women in his life that he would put above me - his mother and his sister. And I do know that there are certain things in his behavior affected by our friendship, but I have seen how he acts around other women and other female friends and he is always considerate. For example if we are walking together he would always be on the outside so that he is positioned between me and the moving vehicles. It's his way of protection.

His former roommate was in the same college as me and my best friend. He would always be helpful and he had been relationship since high school. He now married this woman and they even have a kid so it's not like he had some agenda.

You know about the co-worker that bought me pepper spray and did not want me to pay. He even offered to beat up the guy for me if the harassing becomes a trend. This guy has girlfriend too.

Few months ago I had to do some repair in the bathroom. It's a long story but I did not want to call someone so I wanted to change the shower head hose on my own. However I needed special tool for this and I had no idea how it's called so I asked my co-workers. O not just told me what I need but he bought it for me. He knows that I love sparkling water and sometimes I ask him to get me one when he goes downstairs to smoke. However there is none the last week so he even asked the people in the place when they will have it back for me.

We received new monitors and I wanted to have two monitors that are the same so I offered M a deal - to exchange the monitors in a way where both of us have the same. I offered him the newer ones, but he decided to let me have the newer ones and got the older ones.

They all open and hold doors for me. They make sure that there is always a chair for me to sit even if means that they will stand still. Overall for the most part I am treated quite well by most of my male co-workers at work.

I obviously have issues with some people, but they are the exception. For the most part you could see that they are raised good.
You have to be right that education and being raised right plays a large part. I also think it’s culture too. Those French men obviously are highly educated and still misbehave. Those in your office (minus a few you are not close with) are nothing like the French and treat you with high respect. So culture has to play a part too. It’s a combination. Glad you are surrounded with very nice guys both personally and professionally!
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:35 AM
  #86
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Originally Posted by secretk (View Post)
I mean even men recognize this quality of mine to put off other men and such offensive flirts . So it must be pretty serious.
Definitely.
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:38 AM
  #87
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Your boss is definitely a tool . And you definitely call this. You have to share his brilliant ideas for "improvement".
This always happens. I'm so tired of it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Apt (View Post)
Definitely a tool! When is the meeting? Hope it goes okay. I’m sure there will be a lot of sighing and eye rolling behind his back, lol.
It's at 3:00 today. I'm not looking forward to it at all.
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:50 AM
  #88
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Originally Posted by The Apt (View Post)
You have to be right that education and being raised right plays a large part. I also think it’s culture too. Those French men obviously are highly educated and still misbehave. Those in your office (minus a few you are not close with) are nothing like the French and treat you with high respect. So culture has to play a part too. It’s a combination. Glad you are surrounded with very nice guys both personally and professionally!
I have been lucky for the most part to find quite nice men who know how to treat women with respect.

Now there are idiots everywhere, but I do not imagine a co-worker coming me telling me that they imagine me naked. That's like absurd and it would never happen.

We do have more open and free atmosphere compared to what is the usual norm in your country. It seems that we (being more Southern country) are more warm and thus a bit more free and open. Like we do joke around and tease each other, but we try to not cross the line. We try to find the neutral ground and check what the other person is allowing.

For example I obviously know how to joke around with K and M the best because we spend more time together. We like spend 40 minutes together every day when we are travelling and we obviously talk more compared to others in the team. I also get to spend more time one on one with both as K and I live pretty close to each other so we spent like 15 minutes walking just the two of us each day. Then when K decides to stay till late (he does do this often) I travel only with M. One on one interaction kind of leads to sometimes personal conversations that go beyond work day and co-workers.

I have lunch every day with O as well so obviously we also interact more and spend more time together so we know each other better.

As a result I am comfortable around those 3 guys the most in the team, but the rest basically follow their lead and treat me the same way. And M and O kind of moderate the guys in the team when I tell them that I dislike some behavior towards me.
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:50 AM
  #89
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This always happens. I'm so tired of it.

It's at 3:00 today. I'm not looking forward to it at all.
How long will be the meeting? Also how big is your team?
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Old 02-13-2018, 12:36 PM
  #90
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Originally Posted by Jerry D (View Post)
This always happens. I'm so tired of it.

It's at 3:00 today. I'm not looking forward to it at all.
So shortly, then. Hope it's not so bad. Let us know how it goes, thinking of you.
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