jediwands

That is bang on, Jerry! Thanks for the laugh.

How's actual work going for you?

jediwands

She wore a dress one day and he told her he imagined her naked in the dress. He touched her butt, commented on drooling over her, made comments about her chest, kept telling her he imagined having sex with her, saying if only he wasn't married but winked saying even that wouldn't matter if she was into it. All the men in the office bluntly would tell the women if they liked their chest or not. There's other stuff but that's what I remember off the top of my head. The male coworkers drooled over her but also new women being hired. They would make it so uncomfortable for new women entering the office environment based on loud sexual remarks two women left after only a couple of weeks. Also? There was a loud woman (she hung out with) who was loud and said horrible things too. She always said nonsexual inappropriate things in general to anyone near her. This stuff happened on a daily basis! But like I said, she also was involved in two affairs and the one affair was with a man who had a wife working a floor below them. They had two kids together too and this guy is carrying on with her. Seriously, for someone like me with morals maybe even entering nunnish mode I was so grossed out.

It was the most bizarre office environment I've ever heard of. I shared some of this stuff with Cleveland friends and they were just as weirded out as I was! Literally it was a running joke with my Cleveland friends... they'd ask me for the scoop on what insane happenings took place in that office every day. French idiot? She thought it was all normal and just how men are in France for the most part.

Jerry D

You're welcome! The movie is a satire, but so much of it is so dead on.

It’s going okay thanks. I just try to tune out my boss and do what I have to do. Most people here are pretty unfriendly but I’ve gotten used to it. I have a three day weekend coming up this weekend (we’re off for President’s Day next Monday) and I’m looking forward to it. Teresa started a temporary job last week in Accounts Payable, and so far she’s doing really good and they seem to like her. She’s not sure how long the job will last though.

jediwands

Glad to hear work is going okay (and you are brilliantly tuning out your boss) along with the three day weekend approaching! Do you guys have any plans for the longer weekend? One of the best plans would be staying home and relaxing, haha. Good news Teresa is working! Did they mention how long approximately the job will last? I hope it continues being a good experience for her.

Jerry D

We're probably just going to stay home and relax, but Teresa will be working that Monday. They didn't tell her how long the job will last, but she said they're way behind, so it should be a while I'd say. Goldie looks so sad when we both leave in the morning, but she's really happy when we come home!

Jerry D

That is so disgusting. I can't understand why that boss wasn't fired.

jediwands

Awe, lol. I wonder what she does when you guys are gone... sleeps the day away most probably so she has extra energy when you guys get home. Do you and Teresa have similar hours? How far is her work from your home? I hope Teresa continues to enjoy the experience and it lasts a long time. Sounds like a perfect fit!

jediwands

I never understood it either. If I remember correctly, even the higher ups were a version of her boss, too. I didn't feel too badly for her since she felt it was normal and was up to dirty tricks herself with the affairs. But still, it was actually a sad situation all around. One that made me so happy that I live in the US where it's not tolerated in the vast majority of cases, excluding Hollywood of course.

secretk

Wow. That's a lot! How did she feel about this?

It is so weird that they managed to do this at work! She had not one, but two affairs and then she had an affair with a married man whose wife worked in the same building. I assume also company. That's like worthy of telenovela.

This is so weird though to be honest M commented that last year during our seminar the French guys tried to hit on Bulgarian female co-workers. I did not notice stuff like that as around this time I was dealing with my grandmother issues. So maybe what he is saying ties into what you said. Maybe it is part of their culture.

jediwands

I honestly think she felt almost good that she was getting attention even if sometimes the boss would make her slightly disgusted. Overall though, she was fine but I think it's because she was having the affairs carrying on in a bad way herself too. That said, affairs or not, men in positions of power have no business doing that to her and the other women.

She expected me to be supportive too... she figured it was okay because she was living in the moment and wasn't happy with her long term boyfriend. Of course this is while she has an infant son at home to take care of as well.

I honestly believe it is a big part of French culture. It is normal. I say this as someone who had known her for almost 10 years. I was learning about French culture for almost 10 whole years and from what I've gathered this is just how French culture works.

jediwands

I also found it interesting when we were in NYC... the men wouldn't even look at her, they left her alone. I got the feeling that she almost felt like something was wrong with her because the American men in NYC didn't flirt or say anything inappropriate to her. Not kidding. We went out to eat one afternoon and the male waiter must have been attracted to my energy because he literally acted like she didn't exist and his entire attention was on me, but not in a bad way. We were carrying on laughing about the Yankees, and other things. It was awesome. Also, they forgot to give meatballs with my order at the restaurant and he surprised me with not only the meatballs but double the meatballs and an entirely free order to go with bread and a free dessert. This was not a cheap restaurant either. He was so kind and generous and a terrific guy. I got the feeling that my friend was jealous and pissed off that he connected with me in a friendly fun way and never even noticed her. Her mood reflected as much. She also got upset when we were at the theater one night and the gentleman next to me was talking to me only and we were chatting off and on throughout the show. She looked so pissed. It was then that I realized our friendship was never going to last much longer. Thankfully it didn't!

But now in thinking about it, I believe the lack of attention she received in NYC is because she had some narcissistic tendencies... but the other part was she wasn't used to men not being overtly sexual with her since that's what she received regularly in France.

She didn't like that in American culture women are respected by men overall.... and certainly didn't like that decent men were giving me attention in a human being/kind way and not noticing her. I truly believe the NYC men picked up on our energy and the energy they were receiving from me was warm whereas the energy they received from her wasn't. Thus, why they were kind and friendly to me and didn't know she existed.

secretk

I see. I agree with you. No man should make comments like that towards any woman. I mean to be honest I would feel discomfort if such comments come even from a man that I am involved with, let alone by a male co-worker.

I get that she did not want you to judge her, but to support her is a bit too much. It does not matter how close you are, you are allowed to have an opinion and to share it with her.

For now it does seems this way. I will see how the French will behave this year.

secretk

She definitely was jealous that the waiter paid attention to you and not her. That's for sure! Would you say that she is good looking?

Totally possible .

I do think that the energy thing was at play too. Also not all men like women like her. Believe it or not I do have male friends who would never like a woman like that. Like they are honest with me and tell me that even for just sex they prefer other type of women. Granted I am close to good mannered smart men, but still such men exist. And they would find it so repulsive that a woman actually enjoys such behavior and attention from her boss.

jediwands

Exactly to all of this.

Yes, it's very possible (even probable) you will notice the same thing with the French.

jediwands

If I am honest while removing the ugly inside of her... she's one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Gorgeous actually... crystal blue eyes, dark long wavy hair. Her facial features are doll-like... soft, delicate, gentle, 100% perfect without a flaw. Definitely beautiful and I don't say that loosely about everyone. Superficially like I said, she's drop dead gorgeous. Too bad where it counts she's ugly though.

Definitely energy played a part. I just found it funny that not even the NYC men took a second look at her... the reasons for this:

1. NYers in general mind their business. No one stops for small talk or extra niceness. It is a busy city and people just mind their business and do their thing.

2. American men in general are just more reserved and respectful compared to other cultures. They really are. They are like Canadian men too. American men and Canadian men are awesome in this way.

3. They were picking up on her energy.