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Old 01-11-2018, 05:33 AM
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County High Cafeteria #115: Dealing with White Coat Syndrome and Crazy bosses so we definitely don't care about a title

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Old 01-11-2018, 05:34 AM
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Old 01-11-2018, 05:34 AM
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Feel free to change the title guys, but this is what popped in my mind.
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Old 01-11-2018, 05:42 AM
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Thank you!

Tittle is perfect!

We have a winter weather advisory until at least noon today... freezing rain/snow/terrible winds...

I’m at Caribou Coffee in the parking lot. Got a coffee. I have to get Anna at 7. She needs to take the honors physics test she missed when she was sick. Today is a ‘flex day’ meaning they don’t have to go in until later but Anna has the test. Sara has to get there at a different time too and it’s not the same time Brea (friend and neighbor across the street) is going.

Bottom line is I’m taking Anna at 7 then Sara at 8, lol. I needed to get gas but don’t want to go home and stir Buddy multiple times so I’m hanging out waiting to get Anna. I’ll go inside to my sister’s and wait for Sara until I take her.
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Old 01-11-2018, 06:00 AM
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I actually believe that they postponed the procedure for another reason and just used this as an excuse. Can't tell you why. It's a gut feeling. Like you said you are not the only one and they have to have a way to deal with this.
Exactly. It’s very possible. The dentist mentioned that he just wanted to do it because he had the time and didn’t want me to wait. But it’s just weird overall. All they did was set up more concern for me in other words. It’s ridiculous.
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Old 01-11-2018, 06:35 AM
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I just talked to Anna. She had several fillings done about two weeks ago. She was so nervous she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. The dentist and hygienist knew as much too. Never took her blood pressure. She said she knows her pulse was racing like crazy. Yet I sit here with a bad tooth that’s not fixed with borderline blood pressure (from everywhere I read would have been fine) all due to anxiety over the dentist.
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Old 01-11-2018, 06:39 AM
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Well yes apparently the boss can't make decisions without the jerk which annoys me to no end because I don't see why we should justify our actions to the jerk. He is not the boss. And I do not care about his personal feelings.



Definitely. I am just wondering about said reason.



Oh yeah. We have found a middle ground where we are honest with each other without offending each other.



Exactly. It's a rule all around the world. And yes in the end people do talk about this. This is what sucks that he has this information and he should not have it. And then he bases his decision on his feelings and I do not care about those.
Does your boss have low self esteem? I cannot wrap my brain around why he would care so much about the jerk and what he thinks. It makes no sense. Is it possible the jerk has something over him? Or is it just a family thing? Which is weird because in a real family you still have roles and there’s a hierarchy of sorts.
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Old 01-11-2018, 09:18 AM
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Exactly. It’s very possible. The dentist mentioned that he just wanted to do it because he had the time and didn’t want me to wait. But it’s just weird overall. All they did was set up more concern for me in other words. It’s ridiculous.
I do think that they raised more concern in you . However I still think that they did not postpone this because of the blood pressure. It just does not make any sense. I might be wrong, but my Intuition is telling me that they had other reasons to do it.
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Old 01-11-2018, 09:37 AM
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Does your boss have low self esteem? I cannot wrap my brain around why he would care so much about the jerk and what he thinks. It makes no sense. Is it possible the jerk has something over him? Or is it just a family thing? Which is weird because in a real family you still have roles and there’s a hierarchy of sorts.
It could be low self esteem or lower compared to me and the jerk because we are definitely far more assertive. We also have observed that he tends to agree in general with what people propose if he is alone. If he changes his opinion it's because the jerk disagreed.

However I have always thought that they made him boss with conditions. The former boss had been choosing between me, this guy and another female co-worker that was about to go in maternity leave. He did not choose her as she would not have been available anyway. The official version why they chose him over me (according to my former boss) is because I am more blunt . That's true but I also think that it's because I have no issues telling the jerk off while this guy has issues with that.

Also in May they gave me this speech that I am sure they have him. Problem is I acted that I listened to them and right then decided to ignore everything they said . It was about how we should support each other and help each other and cover for each other in front of the Germans. The thing is I would cover for the jerk only if it makes sense for me or fits me. If it does not, I have no issues throwing him under the bus.

Basically my boss and jerk expect loyalty based on position. I give loyalty based on my opinion about the person. I don't care if someone is my boss or not. If they want me to be loyal to them they have to prove their worth.

My boss thinks that when we showed the Germans that the French were deceiving when it comes to the deadlines we show our loyalty to the Germans. I have different opinion. I think that the Germans were playing high level games with the French and needed leverage. They needed some argument against the French. Something concrete. We gave them that. If you think about it the French tried to lie the management about the dates. You know the management could even fire people for stuff like that. I told this to my boss.

So we definitely have different perceptions with my boss when it comes to what went down last year. He is worried that the French are upset with us and I am sure that they are, but I do not care about this. He was like we should not be against them and I told him that I am not. I have no issues talking to them outside of work, but when it comes to work I only care about the project and deadlines. Nothing else. He remained silent when I told him more than once that I only care about the project and how it advances and any obstacle or person that gets in the way should be removed.

So while indeed he is less blunt, I am more strategic and see more the big picture. Most probably he is more people oriented while I am goal oriented. I set up a goal and I want to be met. He cares what people think about him, I care only about the management because they can give me stuff or remove my problems .
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Old 01-11-2018, 11:05 AM
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I do think that they raised more concern in you . However I still think that they did not postpone this because of the blood pressure. It just does not make any sense. I might be wrong, but my Intuition is telling me that they had other reasons to do it.
It just pisses me off all around.
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Old 01-11-2018, 11:22 AM
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It could be low self esteem or lower compared to me and the jerk because we are definitely far more assertive. We also have observed that he tends to agree in general with what people propose if he is alone. If he changes his opinion it's because the jerk disagreed.

However I have always thought that they made him boss with conditions. The former boss had been choosing between me, this guy and another female co-worker that was about to go in maternity leave. He did not choose her as she would not have been available anyway. The official version why they chose him over me (according to my former boss) is because I am more blunt . That's true but I also think that it's because I have no issues telling the jerk off while this guy has issues with that.

Also in May they gave me this speech that I am sure they have him. Problem is I acted that I listened to them and right then decided to ignore everything they said . It was about how we should support each other and help each other and cover for each other in front of the Germans. The thing is I would cover for the jerk only if it makes sense for me or fits me. If it does not, I have no issues throwing him under the bus.

Basically my boss and jerk expect loyalty based on position. I give loyalty based on my opinion about the person. I don't care if someone is my boss or not. If they want me to be loyal to them they have to prove their worth.

My boss thinks that when we showed the Germans that the French were deceiving when it comes to the deadlines we show our loyalty to the Germans. I have different opinion. I think that the Germans were playing high level games with the French and needed leverage. They needed some argument against the French. Something concrete. We gave them that. If you think about it the French tried to lie the management about the dates. You know the management could even fire people for stuff like that. I told this to my boss.

So we definitely have different perceptions with my boss when it comes to what went down last year. He is worried that the French are upset with us and I am sure that they are, but I do not care about this. He was like we should not be against them and I told him that I am not. I have no issues talking to them outside of work, but when it comes to work I only care about the project and deadlines. Nothing else. He remained silent when I told him more than once that I only care about the project and how it advances and any obstacle or person that gets in the way should be removed.

So while indeed he is less blunt, I am more strategic and see more the big picture. Most probably he is more people oriented while I am goal oriented. I set up a goal and I want to be met. He cares what people think about him, I care only about the management because they can give me stuff or remove my problems .
Makes sense. You guys certainly have different perceptions. The thing is, I think your way of thinking falls more in line in a leadership role.

Why do you think the French are mad you guys? I mean, they complain and carry on for fun in general, lol, so wondering what specifically their deal is on this?
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Old 01-11-2018, 11:23 AM
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It just pisses me off all around.
This is quite understandable! I just don't understand why they did this. They should have just let it be and make you wait till Monday.
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Old 01-11-2018, 11:32 AM
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Makes sense. You guys certainly have different perceptions. The thing is, I think your way of thinking falls more in line in a leadership role.
Being leader requires you to make tough decisions and to be unbiased. At least this is what I value in leaders. He most probably expects different things from leaders.

Quote:
Why do you think the French are mad you guys? I mean, they complain and carry on for fun in general, lol, so wondering what specifically their deal is on this?
The deal is pretty serious. I do know why they are upset and it's understanding. The thing is that I still do not care because my goal is the project and like I said I remove any obstacle that slows down the project.

Here is the thing. Our company was bought because of the project I am working on. The company now wants to expand the market and this requires the project we are working on with the French to be completed. Based on the current pace the management had doubts that we will be able to deliver something in the time frame they wanted. So they asked us to estimate all the work and say when the project will be ready. The French calculated without us and claimed that everything will be ready by March 2018. We knew that this is so far from the truth that it's not even funny. In a meeting we had with the jerk, my boss, another guy, Bulgarian CTO and German CTO I redirected the meeting and got the support of both CTOs to stir up the discussions so that the way we work is changed. I however stir red up the things so much that we had to calculate the estimations from the beginning.

This is why we had our trip in France October last year. However I screwed them up there even further. I showed that their calculations are wrong with say 4/5 years which is a lot. Basically they were about to lie to the management and it was serious. Trust me our management definitely told something to theirs because now the Germans are pushing the French so much. French know that they could lose their jobs over this because the Germans might decide to close this project basically. Not the whole project as they would lose money if they do it, but that part that involves the French. I know that my job is secure because I know the market. If we don't improve our project we will lose customers and I am their chance for this to happen because I know the project the best. French are however more dispensable because they do not have the business knowledge.

So yes it's serious. They could end up without jobs so I completely understand their frustration however I still do not regret what I did because I want the project to succeed. Basically for me the project is more important than them.
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Old 01-11-2018, 01:44 PM
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This is quite understandable! I just don't understand why they did this. They should have just let it be and make you wait till Monday.
I bet you already know what's running through my mind... maybe the Universe is telling me to find another dentist and go that route. Maybe something weird happened yesterday to prevent me from a really bad treatment that would cause suffering in the long term. I have debated on whether I want a root canal over extraction to be honest. I have read about root canals and you are living with a dead tooth and some bacteria still in there and there are documents about how that can be harmful for your overall health. Extracting the tooth gets rid of all the bad stuff. I wonder if I should consider extraction and implant. Quicker, that is for damn sure, and you are getting rid of the nasty bacteria and dead tooth too. I am thinking about calling the oral surgeon that extracted the other tooth six months ago and talking to him about my situation. Plus, since I've been there before, I know he's good, surgery/post op went just fine I would be much less anxious with him too. It would be more spendy though. But you have to weigh the pros and cons.
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Old 01-11-2018, 01:48 PM
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Being leader requires you to make tough decisions and to be unbiased. At least this is what I value in leaders. He most probably expects different things from leaders.
You summed up what a leader is. His definition is not sound.

Quote:
The deal is pretty serious. I do know why they are upset and it's understanding. The thing is that I still do not care because my goal is the project and like I said I remove any obstacle that slows down the project.

Here is the thing. Our company was bought because of the project I am working on. The company now wants to expand the market and this requires the project we are working on with the French to be completed. Based on the current pace the management had doubts that we will be able to deliver something in the time frame they wanted. So they asked us to estimate all the work and say when the project will be ready. The French calculated without us and claimed that everything will be ready by March 2018. We knew that this is so far from the truth that it's not even funny. In a meeting we had with the jerk, my boss, another guy, Bulgarian CTO and German CTO I redirected the meeting and got the support of both CTOs to stir up the discussions so that the way we work is changed. I however stir red up the things so much that we had to calculate the estimations from the beginning.

This is why we had our trip in France October last year. However I screwed them up there even further. I showed that their calculations are wrong with say 4/5 years which is a lot. Basically they were about to lie to the management and it was serious. Trust me our management definitely told something to theirs because now the Germans are pushing the French so much. French know that they could lose their jobs over this because the Germans might decide to close this project basically. Not the whole project as they would lose money if they do it, but that part that involves the French. I know that my job is secure because I know the market. If we don't improve our project we will lose customers and I am their chance for this to happen because I know the project the best. French are however more dispensable because they do not have the business knowledge.

So yes it's serious. They could end up without jobs so I completely understand their frustration however I still do not regret what I did because I want the project to succeed. Basically for me the project is more important than them.
Makes sense. Why on earth did the French lie about the time table? Was it a mistake or deliberate?
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