[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) Me too! Next week I am in vacation and plan to visit my parents. I also have to make an appointment with eye doctor.

Routine eye exam?

Talking with my boss. We were discussing some work related stuff and basically did some sort of retrospective on the workshop once that everything had finished.

How did that go?

So far yes .

Good!

. Also there is one hour difference between France and Bulgaria and it seems that I need some time to adapt to this difference as well. It seems a bit better. Like it calmed down a little bit.

Makes sense and good!

How's work?

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) Definitely . It's in their language. They basically have no words to express such things in a positive way. Also usually their polite way of asking something (similar to would you) is "s'il vous plaît". This means if it pleases you. So they are definitely more focused on themselves in a way.

Makes sense. Don't like it but makes sense.

For discussion outside work sure no issues. For work? Not so much. He does fits in a stereotype I have about Brazilians. I am not saying that all are like that, but there are some specific cultural stuff that I see in him that I have seen for example in Brazilian volleyball players. And it's something I usually do not like.

What do you see? Good that at least you get along outside of work.

Yeah they are like that! They are not the overly emotional or close people you would think about. There are of course people like that, but the overall rule for them is that they are a bit reserved, but indeed very honest and open.

Yep. I'd take that any time of the day too.

It's big and successful, but I am not sure what is the reason for it. We are not the first company they have bought and I doubt that we will be the last one. So obviously a lot of things come to play for them to be successful. Plus they started as us oriented in travel, but in different area. We are focused on business travel only. They started in leisure travel and both sectors and areas are quite different. I of course still have things to work on and improve, but I was afraid that it could be worse . I was afraid that I would have to control myself more, but that was not the case. I really was not pissed in the sense of being pissed. I just am the type of person to never stop arguing for something if I think that I am right. Or if I decide to not argue I say something like "I do not like this and you know my opinion about this but let's move on". I know how annoying is this for people, but it's something I can't help. If I strongly disagree with something I usually have a lot of reasons to do so.

Interesting that they are so successful. It's probably because they hire others to do the work, lol.

I am sure a large reason why you did so nicely is because you are confident in yourself as a professional. When you are confident, you can be more calm as a rule because you are not confused. You know your stuff. You realize they do not know their stuff, lol. So it's mostly like you are in teacher form trying to get them to understand. If they don't get it, whatever, but you know what you are talking about and will never give in as a result. The peace and calm comes from your confidence.

[jediwands]

So I slept from 1-4. Fed Buddy but also woke up to the Vegas news so my mind's way too stimulated to consider going back to sleep at the moment.

[secretk]

Originally Posted by The Apt (View Post) Routine eye exam?

Yes. I know that I need new glasses. I just need to get the correct prescription.

How did that go?

Good! We are happy with what we achieved. Like I said we knew that we can't make them do whatever we want, but we also did not want to let them walk over us. So both of us think that we did good.

Makes sense and good! How's work?

We need to find a way to delegate some of our tasks to other people. Unfortunately the person we want to delegate to, does not want to take the role. So we need to see how to approach this. I already informed the team that I will be leading the technical topics in the team and they had no reaction so far.

[secretk]

Originally Posted by The Apt (View Post) Makes sense. Don't like it but makes sense.

I don't like that much either .

What do you see? Good that at least you get along outside of work.

It's the badmouthing and nitpicking that I do not like. I do not like people that react like that. Like I could be a better and grownup person and not nitpick for every little thing, but he does not do it. He complains about every little thing and I dislike that.

Yep. I'd take that any time of the day too.

For sure .

Interesting that they are so successful. It's probably because they hire others to do the work, lol.

True .

I am sure a large reason why you did so nicely is because you are confident in yourself as a professional. When you are confident, you can be more calm as a rule because you are not confused. You know your stuff. You realize they do not know their stuff, lol. So it's mostly like you are in teacher form trying to get them to understand. If they don't get it, whatever, but you know what you are talking about and will never give in as a result. The peace and calm comes from your confidence.

Could be . I was really afraid that I would not be calm, but luckily this did not happen. Sure I had my jerky comments but I thought that they were deserved. For me there is a difference to be calm and to let someone walk over you. I am definitely not the second. And I can show disagreement in a mostly normal grown up way. Meaning I will say that I disagree, but I will not personally offend anyone. I will just say my opinion. However if someone starts badmouthing I might answer back.

For example the Brazilian guy badmouthed one of our guys saying that he does not take the lead. I told them back that their guy does not take the lead either. The Brazilian tried to tell me that I should not expect this guy to lead and I told them that they are equal and I have expectations of both. He then said that our guys are inexperienced. I told him that we knew this from the start, but I expect his guys (that are Seniors in his words) to train them. I told him that for me Senior knows how to train and teach people. If they can't do it then they are not Seniors for me. So yeah this is how I argue. I will try to be grown up, but will still attack back and not remain silent.

[secretk]

Originally Posted by The Apt (View Post) So I slept from 1-4. Fed Buddy but also woke up to the Vegas news so my mind's way too stimulated to consider going back to sleep at the moment.

What happened in Vegas?

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) What happened in Vegas?

Check OT3. Awful.

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) Yes. I know that I need new glasses. I just need to get the correct prescription.

Got it. I know you get a lot of headaches. Do you think your eyes could have something to do with the headaches?

Good! We are happy with what we achieved. Like I said we knew that we can't make them do whatever we want, but we also did not want to let them walk over us. So both of us think that we did good. We need to find a way to delegate some of our tasks to other people. Unfortunately the person we want to delegate to, does not want to take the role. So we need to see how to approach this. I already informed the team that I will be leading the technical topics in the team and they had no reaction so far.

That's great. Glad the business trip was successful.

Why doesn't that person want to take on that job?

[secretk]

Originally Posted by The Apt (View Post) Got it. I know you get a lot of headaches. Do you think your eyes could have something to do with the headaches?

Definitely one of the many reasons for my constant headaches .

That's great. Glad the business trip was successful.

It would have been awful if they had wasted my time for nothing .

Why doesn't that person want to take on that job?

It's responsibility that he does not want to take. Problem is we don't have anyone else to take over this except him.

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) I don't like that much either .

LOL Exactly.

It's the badmouthing and nitpicking that I do not like. I do not like people that react like that. Like I could be a better and grownup person and not nitpick for every little thing, but he does not do it. He complains about every little thing and I dislike that.

Eh that sucks.

For sure . True . Could be . I was really afraid that I would not be calm, but luckily this did not happen. Sure I had my jerky comments but I thought that they were deserved. For me there is a difference to be calm and to let someone walk over you. I am definitely not the second. And I can show disagreement in a mostly normal grown up way. Meaning I will say that I disagree, but I will not personally offend anyone. I will just say my opinion. However if someone starts badmouthing I might answer back. For example the Brazilian guy badmouthed one of our guys saying that he does not take the lead. I told them back that their guy does not take the lead either. The Brazilian tried to tell me that I should not expect this guy to lead and I told them that they are equal and I have expectations of both. He then said that our guys are inexperienced. I told him that we knew this from the start, but I expect his guys (that are Seniors in his words) to train them. I told him that for me Senior knows how to train and teach people. If they can't do it then they are not Seniors for me. So yeah this is how I argue. I will try to be grown up, but will still attack back and not remain silent.

Good for you!

What I don't understand is what that Brazilan thinks benefits exclusively ripping one person? Like, what is he going to accomplish by going there? Yes, also, their company hired your group so why on earth are they taking issue like this? Go talk to the higher ups within their company. This makes zero sense to me. You handled it perfectly.

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) Definitely one of the many reasons for my constant headaches .

Hope the new prescription will help this.

When do you start your vacation?

It would have been awful if they had wasted my time for nothing .

Right.

It's responsibility that he does not want to take. Problem is we don't have anyone else to take over this except him.

Got it. So what do you think will be the end result?

[secretk]

Originally Posted by The Apt (View Post) LOL Exactly. Eh that sucks.

And it's a matter of control to decide on how to react so that you shut up his mouth and still end up being the better person .

Good for you!

.

What I don't understand is what that Brazilan thinks benefits exclusively ripping one person? Like, what is he going to accomplish by going there? Yes, also, their company hired your group so why on earth are they taking issue like this? Go talk to the higher ups within their company. This makes zero sense to me. You handled it perfectly.

I suspect that they can not talk to their higher ups because for them reputation is really important and they would not want to jeopardize this. I suspect that they fear that such discussion might cause issues for them.

I also would not be surprised their higher ups told them to find ways to align with us. Meaning they might have told them go on that workshop, discuss stuff and get an agreement from them. And they might have told them that they don't care how they will do this.

Our higher ups are the same way. Basically they want us to lead the discussion and argue with them. The management does not want to argue for us. They want us to lead this argument and if we win then so be it.

[secretk]

Originally Posted by The Apt (View Post) Hope the new prescription will help this.

It will help for a while until I need to change my glasses. I do this every two years.

When do you start your vacation?

Monday next week. Basically I am in vacation the whole next week.

Got it. So what do you think will be the end result?

The boss wants him involved so I assume he will talk to him. As for the guy well he might decide to leave the company if this continues and he is not OK with it.

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) And it's a matter of control to decide on how to react so that you shut up his mouth and still end up being the better person .

Exactly.

. I suspect that they can not talk to their higher ups because for them reputation is really important and they would not want to jeopardize this. I suspect that they fear that such discussion might cause issues for them. I also would not be surprised their higher ups told them to find ways to align with us. Meaning they might have told them go on that workshop, discuss stuff and get an agreement from them. And they might have told them that they don't care how they will do this. Our higher ups are the same way. Basically they want us to lead the discussion and argue with them. The management does not want to argue for us. They want us to lead this argument and if we win then so be it.

That makes sense. It also explains why they are so passive aggressive and complaining about everything under the sun... well, minus French culture. lol They probably do feel boxed in... they have orders from the higher ups within their company, they are forced to interact and make things work.

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) It will help for a while until I need to change my glasses. I do this every two years.

Yep. Hysterectomy has apparently done a number on my eyes. It's affected my entire body so why not the eyes. I cannot see close up anymore so I'll need to get bifocals. This could definitely relate to my eyes aching/headaches as well. That and the dryness.

Monday next week. Basically I am in vacation the whole next week.

Nice!

The boss wants him involved so I assume he will talk to him. As for the guy well he might decide to leave the company if this continues and he is not OK with it.

Wow, interesting.