 | | 10-10-2019, 01:17 PM |
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#4
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Fan Forum Star
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 100,688
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you’re welcome
also bringing this over
Quote:
He learned to communicate calmly, maturely, directly, and effectively.
He learned to respect himself enough to tell Rory he didn’t deserve to be taken advantage of, manipulated, or used…even by her.
He learned the self control not to be provoked by Logan’s deliberate goading, but to simply take his leave.
He learned to respect other people’s relationships enough that even though he was clearly still in love with Rory, when he saw that she was in a relationship with someone else, even though it was someone who Jess felt wasn’t good enough for Rory, he didn’t try to make any kind of a play for her affections, even if he had (it seemed) waited and worked for years to live up to his own potential and BE the kind of person who WAS good enough for her.
He showed complete unselfishness a) as stated, not undermining Rory and Logan’s relationship; b) taking Rory to task for being untrue to herself, her dreams, and her aspirations, even when doing so could easily drive a wedge between them—her happiness was more important to him than his own; c) checking to make sure that she was free and single (or at least thinking he had) before trying to rekindle anything between them; d) recognizing that Rory was in a bad situation, and offering to let her essentially slander him in order to get herself out of it, if she needed/wanted to (accepting whatever repurcussions may have come his way if she had chosen to do so).
So, yeah…skilled communication, self respect, self control, respect for others, and unselfishness are some of the most essential qualities that come into play in a marriage. It’s not necessarily ALL that’s necessary, and Jess may have had other things he needed to work on/general life experience to acquire before he would have been completely emotionally mature enough for a good marriage…but, as of a year BEFORE the show ended, Jess showed quite a bit more emotional maturity and relationship skills than Rory, Lorelai, or Luke (all of whom seemed to regress pretty badly in a lot of ways over the course of seasons 4-7) were displaying.
(And, yes…that’s definitely ironic, considering the fact that Jess’ emotional hang-ups/lack of maturity and abysmal interpersonal skills made his relationships with all 3 of the others next-to-impossible in earlier seasons.)
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don’t think any of the other characters on the show had as much self-growth
Last edited by atwoodsmariano; 10-10-2019 at 05:00 PM
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