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Old 05-10-2019, 05:55 AM
  #170
Jerry D
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I was looking through my documents early this morning and I ran across a Dawson's Creek Fan Fiction that I wrote in Season Five. I wrote it right after the episode when Dawson slept with that Film Critic. I honestly forgot that I had written it. The Title of the Fan Fiction was "Ghosts." The first part has lyrics from a song called "Haunted Heart" and the last part has lyrics from a song called "It Had To Be You," and I think this fan fiction showed how disillusioned and hurt I was at that time by what the writers had done to Dawson and Joey.

Quote:
Ghosts

In the night,
though we're apart
there's a ghost of you
within my haunted heart . . .

Ghost of you,
my last romance,
lips that laughed,
eyes that danced . . .

Haunted heart
won't let me be
dreams repeat a sweet
but lonely song to me . . .

Dreams are dust,
it's you who must
belong to me . . .
and thrill my haunted heart . .

Dawson Leery walked down a lonely street on the outskirts of Boston, haunted by a ghost that no matter how he tried, he couldn’t rid himself of, a ghost that stared in utter disbelief at the person he had become. Dawson had just slept with a movie critic who found him attractive and used him to get back at her boyfriend, and the ghost who walked with him seemed to taunt him, even though it never said a word.

The ghost he was haunted by, however, was not likely to be featured in a movie like “Poltergeist,” however, because this particular ghost was the ghost of Dawson himself, the ghost of the fifteen-year old boy who believed in “The Gospel According To Spielberg,” and who believed, with every fiber of his being, that life was about romance, not sex. Ironically, the person he had once told that to, Jen Lindley, ended up being the person that he shared his first time with, and although he did have fun with Jen for the brief time they were together, the ghost of the dreamy-eyed idealist that he had once been seemed to ask, with his mute stare: Is that what you wanted? Are you happy that you didn’t hold out “for the love that lasts forever?” Are you glad that when it came down to it, you ended up making the obvious choice after all?

So much had happened to Dawson since he used to sit in his room dreaming of “storyboarding” the perfect romance with Jen, only to have Joey scoff at him and tell him: “Clap hard, Dawson. You may be Tinkerbell's last hope.” But was he so wrong to think that kissing someone was not about the kiss, but it was about creating a sustaining magic? One time, he had told Joey “But now I choose magic,” but it seemed like all the magic in his life had disappeared, and all he could do now was stare at the mute ghost of the dreamer he had been.

How simple life was then, when he would sit in his room and banter with Joey about life, and love, and his desire to have all his dreams come true. Dawson would laugh at Joey and call her a “bitter, cynical, jaded...thing,” but he always knew that Joey was as much of a dreamer as he was deep down, and that she was just waiting for the right person to bring her deeply romantic side out. What he didn’t realize then was that Joey, and not Jen, was the one that was the embodiment of every romantic ideal that he ever had, and despite all the times he had tried to deny it, or bury his feelings deep in his heart, he knew that “The too-tall girl from the wrong side of the creek” was the only girl for him.

How could he connect with that ghost who had represented everything that he had wanted to be, and wished he could be again? He now knew that shallow, meaningless sex was simply that, shallow, meaningless sex, and although he cared for Jen, and he enjoyed the time they had together, he didn’t love her, and in the end, their relationship wasn’t about romance, it was about sex.

Suddenly, another ghost, a ghost with the face of an angel, replaced the ghost of the fifteen year-old Dawson, and as Dawson stared out into the void, the figure of Joey Potter came into focus. Joey Potter, his best friend, his soulmate, his love, and his inspiration. Joey, the only girl whom he had ever given his heart to, but who had broken his heart time and time again. Joey, the girl who had asked him if he thought it was okay for two people who aren't in love to just let their sexual impulses run wild. He had answered no to her question back then, before life got in the way and changed both of them so much, but had they both really changed? Did Joey sleeping with Pacey take away his last vestige of hope of sharing the perfect time with the perfect person? Was Joey still the perfect person for him? Joey’s ghost also asked him the question he had once asked of her: What happened? What is going on between us? Joey had told him, at the height of his despair over the loss of his father that she would do the daydreaming for both of them, but instead of finding his way back to her, he found his way to Jen, and now he found himself in the arms of a stranger. How could he do that to Joey? How could he do that to himself? Was their daydream over forever? Oh Joey, he whispered, I’m so sorry.

Joey’s ghost faded away, as Dawson gazed longingly at the half smile that he had seen so many times, and a new ghost appeared, only now this ghost was that of his father, smiling gently at him and speaking the words he had told him so long ago: “But you’ve got to have romance. It's all about romance.” Dawson knew that he had gotten his romantic streak from his father, but what would his father think of the person he had become, a person who didn’t have any qualms about sleeping with a stranger? Mitch and Gale often embarrassed Dawson with their amorous escapades, but deep in his heart, he knew that it really was all about romance with them, and they really had come to that point where everything was forgiven, and they really did teach him that love does not conquer all, but that love ends and begins again. Dawson looked in his father’s loving eyes, and somehow, he knew that his father understood, and that like his father, he would find his way back to where he always belonged, happy and content in the warm embrace of his true love.

Dawson finally came home, and walked into Grams’ house, and as he made his way up to his room, all the ghosts that had walked with him disappeared, and he suddenly realized that somehow, the dreamy-eyed idealist he had been was no “ghost,” because he was still inside Dawson, waiting for the right person to bring romance and love back into his life, so that his life really could be not about sex, but about romance. Then, from the floor below, he heard an old song that allowed him to focus on that right person, a person he had known all his life, but who was still an intriguing and romantic mystery to him:

Why do I do, just as you say
Why must I just, give you your way
Why do I sigh, why don't I try - to forget

It must have been, that something lovers call fate
Kept me saying: "I have to wait"
I saw them all, just couldn't fall - 'til we met

It had to be you, it had to be you
I wandered around, and finally found - the somebody who
Could make me be true, and could make me be blue
And even be glad, just to be sad - thinking of you

Some others I've seen, might never be mean
Might never be cross, or try to be boss
But they wouldn't do
For nobody else, gave me a thrill - with all your faults, I love you still
It had to be you, wonderful you
It had to be you

Yes, Dawson thought, Joey Potter, it had to be you, you’re the love of my life, and somehow, someway, you’ll rid me of all my ghosts, and I’ll give you a love that time can never destroy.
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