Mel and Linds were off dancing, as were Michael and Ben. Debbie and Vic had stopped by at one point, but didn't stay long because Vic was tired. I'd ended up at a table now with Brian, Ted and Emmett.
"So, Sage, are you uh, seeing anyone?" Ted asked.
"Christ, Theodore, are you so desperate that you're hitting on lesbians now?" Brian shook his head as he stared blankly at the mob of people dancing, bored.
"I was just attempting to make polite conversation. Y'know, it's a thing we mortals do sometimes," Ted said, a touch of irritation in his voice. Emmett laughed, playing with the umbrella in his drink. A smile crossed Brian's face, the mark of him taking pride in having successfully annoyed one of his "friends".
"Well I for one appreciate it, Ted, thank you for asking," I said, flashing him a friendly smile, which he returned. Brian smirked and took a swig of his beer. "But no, I'm not at the moment," I said.
Ted chuckled. "Yeah, well, join the club," he said. He reached out and clinked his beer against mine.
"Ehh, it's not so bad..." I said with a shrug. "No ass
s to deal with."
The boys all laughed, hard - and I realized immediately what I'd said.
"Whoops," I said. "My bad."
Ted gave me a reassuring nod, "Slick," he said, smiling, and gave me a wink.
The song changed and Emmett immediately jumped up, clapping, a huge smile on his face. "Oh my god! I love this song!! Teddy, come dance with me!" he voice was so giddy, it was adorable. His cheeriness was infectious. I had to smile.
Ted gave a hard eyeroll and hung his head with a groan. Emmett hooked his hand under Ted's bicep and dragged him up from his stool. "Do I have to?" Ted whined, as Emmett started pulling him away.
"Yes, you have to. It's your duty as my best friend," Emmett asserted, and seconds later they were on the dance floor. Emmett was ecstatic, while Ted wore a pout and reluctantly started to dance.
"Well well, alone at last," Brian said, raising his eyebrows as he glanced quickly at me and then down at the table in front of him.
"Sorry your boyfriend couldn't make it," I said. I was sure this wasn't his idea of a good time.
Brian immediatley scoffed, shaking his head. His face once again void of all emotion. "He's
not my boyfriend," he said quietly.
"S
t, my mistake," I said, feeling I'd obviously hit some sort of nerve.
"That's alright, you're new here. It can be forgiven," he said, making eye contact with me long enough to give me that little tease of an almost smile. I thought about asking him for more details, but decided quickly against it. I wasn't entirely sure I even wanted to know, given his reaction.
"So," he said, clearing his throat. "When are you joing them?" he said, nodding his head towards Mel and Linds on the dancefloor.
"I'm not much of a dancer," I said.
Brian blinked and broke out his little smile with a quick shake of his head. "No, I mean, when are you joining the ring of the circus known as homo holy matrimony?" He chuckled to himself as he looked at me, awaiting my answer.
"Pffft," I scoffed. "Try never."
Brian swallowed, his eyes widening. He gave a surprised, slow nod as he processed my response. "Really? Do tell," he said, folding his arms in front of him and leaning in, suddenly the most interested he'd been in conversing the entire night.
"I have no interest spending my life in a law-binding prison," I said with a shrug. Brian's eyes widened further, and it seemed like a trace of light was emanating behind them, which had been absent before. I wasn't sure if he was aware of it or not, but the corner of his mouth was starting to form an actual smile. For some reason, my heart skipped a beat. I swallowed and continued, not breaking eye contact with him.
"Besides, I think people grow and change, and who's to say they can do that if they spend all their time with one person? How does anybody ever learn who they really are when they're so busy trying to be a half of a whole?" He'd gotten me on my soapbox now. Brian's mouth opened for a second, but he just let out a bit of an exhale then began chewing his bottom lip. It looked like he was really thinking over what I was saying. For some reason I kept on talking.
"I've always lived my life based on my own rules - following my own schedule, doing what I want to do. Why the f
k would I throw that away now... or at any point in time? Why would I sacrifice my freedom, my happiness, my
life?" I said, noticing I was getting more passionate all of a sudden. When I broke out of my concentration, I noticed Brian was leaning much further in, and was way closer to me than he'd been when I'd started talking. One of his eyebrows shot up as he held his intense eye contact with me, and started to speak.
"It's a prison alright. It's a f
ing institution," he began, and then swallowed. "...because only those who are truly insane would actually put themselves willingly into such an absurd situation," he said, his eyes totally lit up now. He couldn't repress the smile that came over his face, either - but it wasn't a friendly smile. It was devilish, wicked. He let his words linger in the silence that followed, nodding slightly.
I couldn't look away - his green eyes held me captive. I literally didn't know what the f
k was going on, but it was like my body was paralyzed all of a sudden. Brian Kinney was looking into me, and his very eyes were holding me in place. Could he sense it? Did he know what he was doing...that he had this power over people? Is that why he looked so goddamn smug and proud of himself? Why his smile was slowly growing even more?
I swallowed, anxiously. I wouldn't have minded continuing to expand on my point of view, but suddenly words weren't exactly coming to me. I did, however, feel a disturbing tightness in my chest. Nerves?
Brian chuckled quietly, never taking his eyes away from mine. He did blink several times, however. "So, what would you say to us getting the **** out of here?" His left eyebrow was raised, and he wore the proudest, most confident smile I'd seen yet.
And my knees grew weak.
Suddenly, there were words in my head - a voice screaming, "
Don't do it!!" And yet -
"Sure," I replied, somehow sounding confident and cool myself.
Brian gave a brief nod, his smile calming to a pleased smirk as he started to gather his jacket.
What the f
k had I done?