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The only thing annoying me about the flame so far, is how the writers seem to have made it alot more interactive than they ever led us to believe it was, when it was in Lexa. Unless she was constantly asking for past commanders' advice and not vocalizing it, I just find it silly.
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Yup, that would be silly if it wasn't consistent before (with Lexa). Though I honestly can't remember if she alluded to getting guidance from past Commanders before? Didn't really pay attention to her scenes. Or is it a case of maybe the newly minted Commanders needed more guidance when they're newer at leading? Because Lexa had already been reigning for a while, in comparison with Madi.
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In general, I do not understand why some people think a piece of technology in her head is changing the child (other than the obvious). How is that any different to every single situation where she interacts with people around her who are influencing her? Is the "real" Madi getting manipulated by Bellamy (this is the way you save Clarke) into accepting the flame? I think absolutely yes. Is her distrust of the flame prior to that influenced by her parents hiding her from the flamekeepers/ by Clarke? You bet. So why is there an issue with this being the real Madi or not? Just because she is getting advice from people who are no longer alive in corporeal from, somehow it's confusing?
We have been shown that the previous consciousnesses stored in the flame interact with the current host. They do not force the current heda to do anything, all they do is at worst "try to influence". Now we can debate whether previous commanders give "bad" advice or not but Madi is ultimately free to make her own choices. Yes, she is a kid who needs her mom (the "commander" running into Clarke's arms before the ship takes off, looking to her for advice on the cryo sleep question).
But she's been shown to be smart, observant and quite capable., with our without flame.
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The way I see is that yes, it is ultimately her call but IMO, the Flame in her head would ultimately have more influence over her than someone talking to her and trying to convince her of a decision to be made. We don't know the extent of the influence of course, but I'm inclined to think that it is stronger than external persuasion. Except for maybe Clarke because she has more sway with Madi, of course.
She is mature for her age but for all intents and purposes, is still a child. The Nightbloods brought up in the Conclave were ultimately groomed for leadership roles and knew what they could potentially be expected to do (if they became Commander) but Madi didn't. She was taught to fear Flamekeepers and lead a different life from the other Nightbloods. She never knew that this could be something expected of her. So, I can see her deferring to the Commanders' comments/opinions whenever she is unsure about a course of action (and has no other people giving her feedback on it).
Having said that though
, having the Flame is not necessarily a bad thing for Madi IMO as long as she learns how to listen to them when she has to, or decide for herself when she wants to make her own decisions. Her deciding not to kill the prisoners after what Bellamy said is testament to that.