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I just finding extremely heartbreaking that he has to reassure himself that way. Really, I love Luke, but he really messed up there. He traumatized his own nephew.
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Too many people ignore Ben Solo's suffering, because they idolize Luke. They should take the blinders off and see that Luke is NOT perfect.
Also, more fans should make the effort to read Jason Fry's TLJ and the Han/Lando spin-off LAST SHOT to be more informed of the mental burden Ben/Kylo has had to deal with just by being a Skywalker/Solo ever since he was a child.