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I think Brian was in control. He partied, went to the hospital, went to work and functioned, then repeated the cycle. Anybody else would've been hospitalized themselves b/c they wouldn't be able to keep up that pace. Brian was in full on pain management mode and he was doing what he had to to get through.
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you call that control? I'm not sure.. I would say the more he fell into his pain managment, the more it showed how he felt like losing all control.. this pattern for him was in my eyes a way to get back controll, cause he hated the feeling of not being in cotrol.. and he probaly just was lucky that he was trained so good with drinking or drugging, cause he would for sure been hospitalized if not
I just think about Michael, who didn't see him for a while, that he drank more then he ever swa him before) Yes .. I agree, he functioned, but that was all he did.. he wanted to stopp feeling anything, cause he couldn't cope with his feelings.. that is sure is not having control
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That was shame and guilt from his believing he caused the bashing. Notice when he's in the hospital immediately afterwards. He's not in the waiting room where presumably Jennifer and Justin's family are. He's alone. He couldn't face ANYBODY b/c of his feeling responsible.
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ITA.. he completly blamed himslef for what happened... and he couldn't stand being questioned about what had happened, but I'm not sure the others already knew what was going on. Michale came, because he called him himself.. the other probnably weren't htere at that moment. it takes a while till they get informed, cause I don't think Michael called his mom imideatly.. he was probably so shocked by the phonecall, that the only thing he did, was rushing to Brians side, and maybe then he started calling people, when he knew himslef what was going on.. I don't think that the hospital called Justins family.. they would have sent the police to tell, wouldn't they?
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Brian's also practical. Everybody visited Justin during the day. Brian knew there were plenty of people in case Justin needed something. When was Justin vulnerable and alone? At night. That's when Brian stood point. He was guarding Justin and protecting him like Rage would - in the shadows of the night.
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of course that was practical, but he also avoided everybody else cause he was afraid of being blamed over and over again.. I guess he was pretty aware of the opinion his "friends and family" and he blamed himself enough so he didn't want to meet them. but why not wanting to meet Justin? Was he so ashamed of himslef that he didn't want to see him anymore? did he really think Justin would blame him too?
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Again, did you see Brian's face when Justin was at Woody's? Gale's acting in 201-202 was brilliant. He actually portrayed the looked of "seeing a ghost." Brian had so much guilt and shame. How could he face the person he loved when he felt he was the one who caused his love such pain and possible permanent damage?
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He looked like a deer cought in the headlight.. but he should have known, that avoiding to meet Justin would be worthless.. hasn't he learned a thing about Justin beeing persistant?
He always found him.. and it was good he did, btw.. it just didn't make sense to me..
or thought Brian he was punishing himslef with not going to see him. It couldn't be that he thought Justin wouldn't want to see him, cause he knew Justin asked for him all the time
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My cousin married this woman in a shotgun wedding. He loved her but they fought like cats and dogs. I'll never forget what he told me...if she knew how to handle me I'd give her anything she wants. I love her. But, she just can't figure out how to handle me.
That's Justin. I think he's got it down sometimes, then he blows it. Sometimes Brian needs a pouty "please." Other times he needs a bossy command. When Justin hits it correctly Brian's putty in his hands.
If Justin had asked him that direct question in the correct way - Brian would probably have answered.
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Not being able to always push the right buttons with Brian, I think the reason therefore was Justins age.. he was smart, but he had no life experience.. and since Brian had life experience, but no experience in love and relationship, he couldn't guide him there..
they bothe had to learn and I would say Justin did a good job in learning very quick..
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But, even in 308 when Justin says you would've told me that you loved me and that you'd keep on loving me even after I was gone. Brian STILL didn't say it or even nod an agreement. So, who knows?
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But it gave Brian something to think about.. I guess he needed to hear that from Justin to see that it just wasn't enough to see all his love, which Justin obviously didn't, but he needed to hear it more clearly... Justin noticed that he overlooked all the little signs.. again, I would say it was because of the missing life experience, but he learned.. that's why he said that now he knows what to expect, and what to look for to see it.. he had to pay more attention instead of hearing to believe
does that make sense?
