The fact that he was even self aware enough about NOT wanting to be Jack is amazing. After all the abuse patterns he experienced he could have easily followed in those footsteps without even realizing it.



Again, I respectfully disagree. I think (JMO) he was aware of something DEEP by the end of 102. As we get further along in season one the evidence piles up that he's fully aware that he loves Justin.

116 - Justin: "You so care about me. You love me soooooooo much." Brian doesn't deny it.

During the dance he was awarely head over heels admitting it was also the best night of HIS life. That night in the hospital he cried from guilt, failure that he couldn't protect Justin but also that his LOVE was just hit by a baseball bat and would perhaps die.

By 201 he was full-on in love. He wore the scarf, he was at the hospital every night keeping vigil and knew every detail of Justin's progress. Outside the hospital he was an animal. And, every time somebody said the name "Justin" he physically cringed.

201 and 202 were about horrid tragedy and PTSD but these two episodes were also an intense love song from Brian to Justin. Brian tells Jennifer, "I care about him." MEANING, I LOVE HIM. When he walks away with devastation on his face the lyrics play, "I died today. But, I'm still breathing."

202 - Justin: "You love me madly, passionately, deeply." Again, Brian doesn't deny it.

At the end of 202 they made soft, gentle, delicate LOVE. Brian was as vulnerable as Justin was. He opened himself up to Justin in that moment because of how deeply in love he was.

In the beginning of 206 he's giddy with love. He was fully aware of his feelings. The conflict of being the stud of Lib Ave and this love was triggered by zucchini man's comments. So ensued the f---ing on the couch.

KEY!!! BEFORE Debbie's conversation with him at Woody's occurred he spoke the most heteronormative sentence that ever came out of his mouth the entire series...(I'm paraphrasing) Are you still upset about the zucchini man? He didn't mean anything. I don't even remember it...or him.

Brian was acting like a husband who cheated on his wife. WHY? Because he was making concessions for his behavior to keep his LOVE, Justin, appeased. Also, he did it to plain and simple KEEP Justin. SINCE WHEN WOULD BRIAN APOLOGIZE FOR TRICKING? But, he did, and while on his knees, no less.

When Debbie told Brian to admit his love he huffed a yes BECAUSE he had been aware of it for a loooooong time. If Brian WASN'T aware he would've looked shocked and insulted. He would've scoffed, ended the conversation, abruptly left, then would've taken a long time out for an intense think about it.

Brian's deliberate. He doesn't do much spontaneously (unless it involves Justin - he CANNOT control his impulses regarding anything involving Justin). He definitely wouldn't have given Debbie an immediate answer to the most important question EVER asked of Brian if that answer wasn't already consciously all consuming.