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Old 11-01-2017, 11:38 PM
  #144
secretk
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Apt (View Post)
Right, it really does depend on many factors and how people digest the situation.
For sure . Also on the people's expectations. Not everyone cares about cheating. If two people that have no problems with cheating are together then they won't have issues about being with other people.

Quote:
Exactly. I had many conversations with her about this. She actually believed that I was too “traditional” and couldn’t see that it was possible to love and care about more than one person in a romantic way without crossing the line. She thought love is love and as long as you love it was okay. Yes, she was an Aquarius so it reminded me of the free love hippie sort of thing. I basically told her this was not about me being too traditional and there was certainly a way to love and care about more than one person in a romantic way without crossing the line... being single, dating a million others if you wanted just not being in a committed relationship. She expected me to tell her that what she was doing was OK. I’m sorry but I wasn’t about to go there. I tried not to judge the situation but I never supported it. I basically said it was her life and she makes her own choices.
I am still not decided how I feel about this. I have been cheated on, but it was one of these cases where the person cheated on me, tried with someone else for a while (never asked for how long) and then broke up with me. I had no issues with the cheating. Till that day I do not feel bad about him cheating. I respect the fact that he was honest with me and at that point I was also not sure whether I wanted to be with him. I guess we both knew that we are not for each other, but were not brave enough to break it off. In the end I was thankful that he did it.

The relationship was toxic for both of us. I tried to break up with him numerous times, but he would get depressed, threaten with suicide and stuff and it was just not healthy at all.

On the other hand I believe that we meet people for different reasons in our life. And we could have special connection with people without being actually together romantically. In that sense we could be married to someone and not have the deep connection we have with someone else. Is this emotional cheating or not?

I still have not explored this spiritual aspect of my life and soul to be able to decide how I feel about cheating.

Quote:
Exactly. Her excuse was that there was a child involved so she didn’t want to leave the father of her child. She knew she ultimately didn’t want to be with him and thought having emotional affairs was to way to fulfill her needs and not break up with the father of her child. Truth be told, she wasn’t thinking of her child at all. She was only thinking of herself. Her child at the time was an infant with the one affair and then a little over a year old with the other. He was too young to have to deal with this. Her child would have never endured the separation. He would have grown up with two parents separated but civil and always there for him. The child would have been way better off. So to make it even more horrible, she basically used her baby as an excuse.
True and honestly even if the kid was old enough this is not a good reason. If the kid is old enough, they would pick up the issues parents have. I know a woman that cheated on her husband numerous times and her daughter was at some point decoy. It destroyed the relationship they had. They divorced in the end, but the daughter is still closer to her dad then her mother. She is even closer with her stepmother and stepbrother on her father's side than on her mother's side.

I was able to pick up the issues between my parents when I was still 5/6 years old. I would go to my mom and tell her that if she wants to get divorce I would support them. I did not want to watch them arguing all the time. And this does not mean that I do not love my father. I do and I have close relationship with him too. I love them both individually, but when I was younger them together was more annoying than anything else.

Quote:
Right. She certainly was not a teenager when the affairs were taking place. Also, the second emotional affair... the wife of the guy actually WORKED at the same place that they worked too. So the guy would lie to his wife about where he was going for his lunch break and he'd go with my ex-friend instead. Absolutely disgusting.
On the other hand though I wonder how his wife did not realize this. How absentminded have to be to not catch your husband with a co-worker of you both?
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