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He slept with his ex because he was deeply in love with her. He felt awful about it. He's not an ass for that.
The only person who advised her against it is James. And she barely trusts him. His judgment on Darnley is a little skewed.
You can't judge show Darnley with RL Darnley. They aren't really the same.
It's a terrible way to go about it maybe, but it's the only way.
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It is not just the sleeping with the other woman there's also the putting others lives in danger the (Fire).
And the guy she met last week (future hubby no 3) also said it was a bad idea.
Did he ask around about his character? As a human being. Has she cared about that at all?
I don't think James judgement is skewed... Its clearly right, his discussion on how the other guy treats his servants...