KatB

So glad you liked it, so far. I am going to repost my first Christmas story. Since it's Christmas and all.

Christmas
Aka, Santa Nick
Cece: You'll just have to tell them. They'll understand. We need some time alone, I mean it's our first Christmas as an engaged couple.
Schmidt: You try to explain that to Jess. You saw the 12 days of Christmas calendar that Jess put up on the fridge with activities for each day. Oh and not to mention Winston and his toy drive and benifit on the 23rd.
Cece: Well at least we have Nick on our side. You know he isn't a big holiday person.
The door opens.
Nick: Come on, we need to pick names for secret Santa.
Both: What?!
Cece: Let's go.
Nick: This year I'll be holiday Nick! I'll be doing all holiday stuff before you even think about it.
Cece: To what do we owe this change?
Nick: Well, as you know I am a business owner now.
Everyone: Yeah, uh hu, of course.
Nick: And as such, you have to know what holiday is coming up, in order to please your customer. Try celebrating Independence Day on August fourth and they will let you know.
Schmidt: What?! You celebrated the Fourth of July in August?!
Nick: Well, it's really hard to keep track of holidays. You should try it someday.
Schmidt: I do, we all do. It's called looking at a freakin calendar!
Jess: Nick, why secret Santa? You know I have already bought most of my gifts.
Nick: Of course, I'm not you know, I pay attention to...
Winston: Nick!
Nick: Yeah?
Winston: You do realize that you stopped talking. I mean like five minutes ago. You were just standing there, with your mouth open like now.
Nick: Yeah, of course. I wanted to see if you were paying attention. Good catch.
Jess: Well, I am not taking anything back.
Nick: That's not....what I want to do is do secret Santa on Christmas eve and our regular gift exchange on Christmas morning.
Cece: Are you sure you want to do that Nick? Do you remember what you got me last year?

Flashback to last year Nick gives Cece his gift and she opens it up and it's a can of beer.
Cece: Did you forget that Christmas was the next day and just grab what you could from the bar?
Winston opens a a box and it's a napkin dispenser. Jess gets a glass with the bar's logo.

Nick: Don't worry. I have everything under control.
Jess: Do you?
Nick: Yes
Jess: I mean, do you?!
Nick: Jess!

May: I have a gift for you! Christmas gift to be exact!
Coach: Did I sleep too much again? I thought we were in October and yet to celebrate Halloween and Thanksgiving next.
May: Ha ha. Yeah and while you were sleeping I bought something for you, early Christmas gift. Come. (taps the seat next to her)
Coach: This is not getting any interesting. You know how I love buying gifts and now we are giving them early? Wait is this a gift for me or you?
May: Oh for you indeed. But... for me as well (and she hands him an envelope while Coach looks at her intriguied). Come on open it already!
Coach: Ok. It does seem like you wrote me a letter. Thank you for that.
May: Oh you are such a baby! (And she takes the envelope and opens herself while screaming) We are going to California for Christmas!!! (makes while Coach is trying to understand her). Woop woop! Aren't you happy? You said you missed your family and here I thought we can plan our Christmas holiday early and I was gonna wait to give you the flight tickets but it felt like I gotta act early.
Coach was speechless and May got a little bit worried about her gift.
May: Ernie? You didn't like it?
Coach: Like it? I hatED it! Because this was a perfect gift! Now what am I gonna buy you?
May: Aww. I am sure you'll find something in 2 months

And they hug and just a small tear falls down from Coach's eye with a "hick" from his throat.
May (while not seeing his face): Ernie, are you crying?
Coach: Nope!!!! (he stiffs himself from the hug) I AM A MAN! I AM JUST SO... REALLY... FURIOUS ABOUT YOUR GIFT! (and he runs to the bathroom)
May (knowingly smiles): Ohhh my baby

Nick: Okay, so I wrote down all your names and I put them in the Santa hat. So now, I am going to pass around the hat. You each take a name and pass it around. Now this is very important, don't say the name you picked.
Jess: You do realize we do this every year.
Winston: Yeah, what are we Christmas novices? We know how stuff works.
Everyone: Yeah, come on, let's just do this....
Nick: Okay so, you know what we are going to do then?
Everyone: Nick?!
They pick names. Just as they finish, the door opens.
Coach enters.
Cece: Coach!
Schmidt: Crap!
Cece, Coach: What?!
Nick: Well, I'm going to need some more paper. (Cece immediately understands) Coach what we are doing is this thing where we buy a secret gift for someone, by drawing names.
Coach: Yeah, Secret Santa. You do realize I was here last year?
Twenty minutes later. Schmidt is stressed out, Cece is annoyed, Jess is thinking she dodged a bullet. But they have successfully exchanged names.

Schmidt: Jess, who did you get?
Jess: You can't ask that. You know that.
Schmidt: I just wanted to know if you got Cece?
Jess: Schmidt, you already got her seven gifts for Christmas Day. I don't think there is anything left in the store.
Schmidt: I know but I saw this locket the other day.
Jess: Schmidt! How about taking that talent for gift giving and spreading it around.
Schmidt: I know but this is our first Christmas for the rest of our lives.
Jess sighs
Schmidt: The rest of our lives Jess!
Jess: I know. But you need to stop freaking out and help me.
Schmidt: Help you? Are you in crisis?
Jess: Yes, I got Winston and I already got him a new Pure Moods cd and some toys for Ferguson. Other than bad taste in music and cats, I got nothing. I've lived with him for five years. I used to be better than that. Oh I know, another bird shirt!
Schmidt: Jess!! No, you know what, lets talk.


Cece: Coach!! We didn't get a chance to talk about you! How are you?
Coach: Cece I really missed you.
Cece: Me too! Like I really missed you.
Coach: What is this Secret Santa eagerness from Nick? He didn't used to be like this.
Cece: Well he says he is a "business owner" now. He acts like he is a "Don" or something
Coach: Man! I really missed you guys. This was May's gift to me, to us and I need your help with a gift to her.
Cece: But I chose May!
Coach: And I chose Schmidt! We gotta switch!
Cece: Oh definitely! So glad I talked to you first
Coach: Wait, your only purpose was to see if I chose Schmidt or not?
Cece: Of course NOT! I really missed my girl friend too!
Coach: Awww (in a girly way)
Cece: But I didn't ask for "that" Coach (meaning him "Awwing" like a girl). Come on, are we switching or not? Others are offly quite...
And they start talking about gift possibilities for Schmidt and May

Later on Jess, Cece and Schmidt are returning from shopping. Bags in hand.
Coach: Did you leave anything behind?
Jess: When it's half off of half off, you don't ask questions.
Later after they put the stuff away, they are getting their hot cider and hot chocolate and then sit down to relax. That's when they see it. First Cece then they all notice. The candy canes on the tree are all like different lengths and one looks like an upside down U.

Schmidt: Nick!
Nick comes out of his room.
Nick:Yeah?
Schmidt: Did you eat part of a candy cane and then put it back on the tree?
Nick: Well, I can't eat it all at once.
Jess: But you put it back on the tree.
Cece: Did you forget and take a new one?
Nick: Hey! This is how we do Christmas!
Cece: We?
Nick: Go to my ma's house and her tree looks like this and I think it's great.
Cece: Schmidt?
Schmidt: He's right. I just blocked that out of my mind.
Jess: Remind me never to go to your house for Christmas.
Nick: The one year I try and be all jolly and this is the thanks I get. I mean, I set up the tree...
Schmidt: Is that why it's leaning?
Nick: I hung up the wreath!
Cece: You know it's supposed to go on the front door?
Nick: I hung the stockings!
Schmidt: These are just old socks.
Jess: ...and this one has a hole in it.
Nick: This is the thanks I get. Fine, you can have the old Scrooge Nick back!
He storms out.
Winston comes home and sees things in disarray. Mugs are out. Snacks are half prepared and there is something that dripped from the tree to form a small, not so small blop of red gue on the floor.
Winston: Fergusion, see I told you, things just fall apart when I'm not here.

Meanwhile
Schmidt: See, I told you he would be here!
Nick is taking down the decorations at the bar. Grumbling as he does so.
Nick: The last time I try.....see if I participate......this is why I don't join.
Jess: Nick!
Schmidt: Come on man! All this cause we didn't want you to put used candy on the tree?
Cece: Not helping babe.
Jess: Just come home Nick. We like Santa Nick. We really do. We were just thrown off a bit.
Nick: That's okay. I'll just stay here and let you watch that movie, where the guy dreams he was dead without me.
Schmidt: It's a Wonderful Life, just say It's a Wonderful Life.
The girls stare at Schmidt, a look that says, you are not helping.
Cece: Well, we are not leaving without you. So you better just get your coat.
Nick: Do you have hot cider?
Cece: Yes
Nick: Well, okay. But I'm not going to like it.

They walk into the apartment.
Winston: Where have you all been? Jess: We had to take care of something Winston. Sorry we left in such a rush and things are scattered about.
Cece: Yeah, we know that's a trigger for you. No pun intended.
Winston: Yeah well, see I'm a cop. We are trained to see the signs that something is amiss.
Schmidt: Like all the food and drinks lying around and tv on and blankets on the couch? Is that what they teach you at the academy?
Winston: What they teach us is to look at the little things.
Schmidt: The eggnog was sitting on the counter and not in the fridge. There was burnt popcorn in the microwave! What little things?
Cece: Babe, just calm down.
Schmidt: Our taxes are being wasted on things like this! It's appalling.
Cece: I know babe but you need to calm down. Why don't you go look to see what new pants are online. Get me some ideas of what you might like.
Schmidt: Well I did just see this flat front wool trouser that I thought...
Cece: That's awesome. Write it down, please. Anyway Winston, we are sorry.
Winston: Well, I am just glad you are okay.
Nick: Well I am not. Christmas Nick is dead.
Winston: So no caroling through the neighborhood, or reindeer antlers?
Nick: Nope, your friends killed him.
Winston: What? Why would you want to get rid of Christmas Nick? He is a rare and beautiful thing.