Against_all_odds

I'll definitely do that later.



This reminds me of Matt the Radar Technician and his clueless ghostwriter. Shall use this as a prompt. For those who don't know wtf I'm talking about, it's based on an SNL skit when Adam Driver hosted SNL.



"You guys are all idiots," Sona said. She couldn't stop laughing and they were on Starkiller Base, not high school.

"No, we're not. Kylo Ren is totally shredded," Matt said.

"He's fat," A Storm trooper said.

"Will you all shut up? God...I've only been here 3 months and I'm already sick of this cafeteria. I think he gets a bad rap too and he's not fat. He's not shredded, though. I'm ending this conversation once and for all-It's 6 and I run into him at the gym every morning. He's cute, but he's also our leader. Why are a bunch of guys talking about his body? Seems kinda gay," Sona said.

"Wait, what? It's not gay!" Matt said.

"No...she's got a point. Why do you care about his body? He's straight and he'll kill you if he finds out of the his employees wants to see him naked," a Stormtrooper said.

"I'm not gay!" Matt protested.

"Why do you care, then? What,do you want to copy him? Good luck with that-He and I are 2 of 5 people who use the company gym. We go daily and he probably doesn't eat gross food. If you want to be like him,I can help. I just need you to stop professing your love for him," she said.

Everyone started laughing and he reddened visibly. He was trying to feel his employees out, not make them laugh at him twice as much. He was curious about how she wanted to help him be like Kylo Ren, but he was embarrassed.

"How the hell can you help him? Are you a miracle worker?" one of them cracked.

"God,why would anyone want to be like him?" another said.

"Um, am I the only one who's wondering why a woman is claiming she can show anyone how to be like Kylo Ren? She's been here 3 months," the officer said.

"Shut up and let her talk," Matt snapped.

"I don't know if I'm a miracle worker-Matt can and will tell you by the time I'm done with him. All of us need to be terrified that he'll kill us,but I love my job. If I become disgruntled, I'll have a field day. No one can steal his identity better than I can," she said proudly.

"Again...how? Why would he kill you? You're young, you're thin and you have boobs. We haven't had anything decent to look at in years," a stormtrooper joked.

Sona slapped him; he was a .

"Watch your mouth. If Kylo Ren knew, he'd kick your ass." He wanted to hear what she had to say, even if she was creepy. No one else wanted to be like him, let alone steal his identity. It was nice to know, even if it was creepy.

"How would you know? Are you his secret gay lover? Shut up-He'd be the first to say something," The storm trooper said.

"Ugh...this is why I hate eating here, gross food aside," Sona said. "Matt, give me your phone," she said.

"Oh, COME ON! I'm a pig, but he gets your phone number? He's gay for Kylo Ren!" the trooper protested.

"I'm polite," Matt said as he smirked at him. He handed the girl his phone and it was hard not to be smug.

Sona put her phone against his. "There. It has my Facebook and stuff. Just promise you won't talk about him. Your sexuality is your business, but it freaks me out," Sona said.

"Says the girl who stole his identity," the officer said.

"She can tell me that over dinner," Matt said.

"Oh, wow...no. That's not what I meant-You said you wanted to be like Kylo Ren. Listen, you seem like a really nice guy. Everyone here is ancient and I get everything that involves new technology on me. I haven't made any friends yet, either. People our age need to stick together. You're just not my type...none of you are," she said.

"Ouch." They were embarrassed for him and he needed it more.

"In the archives section at the back where we store everything, it's also where everything is written, created and edited. He has better stuff to do than write emails,papers,speeches and so on. Old people are lazy and don't know how to do their homework. I don't see how being the best at my job makes me a stalker. How else will I make it sound like him as opposed to a ghostwriter? The person who does the speeches passes it on to us for final approval. They need to fire them. I have to chuck half of it every single time. It doesn't suit the occasion, it's too generic and it just sucks. The language and style is obsolete and the slang is so ancient that Anakin Skywalker used it when he was a teenager. I just make sure it's in the current and appropriate form, replace old, outdated and useless things and pepper in a quote every now and then. My boss and the others write as the General,but for some reason,everyone dumped Kylo Ren on me. No matter-I like a challenge. I get to problem solve, diffuse potentially tense situations from occurring and try to keep things consistent. Just because people here think he's a moody little b**ch doesn't mean people who don't know him need to. Someone missed a meeting and it was because they were in the hospital. I sent them a get-well card, made sure I spoke the way we've seen him speak and passed it off as his. You catch more flies with honey and screaming at him would make things worse. I just told him to call once he's able to and schedule things as soon as possible. Now, this guy won't think that Kylo Ren is a moody little b**ch. He thinks that he may have heard wrong and Kylo Ren is capable of acting like an adult and conducting himself professionally. Problem solved," Rukmini said cheerfully.

"What the?" Everyone stared at her and challenging wasn't the word. Making Kylo Ren seem like he wasn't moody was next to impossible.

"A get-well card?" She was right and he did have better things to do than communicate with people himself. It would have never occurred to him and if she watched him that much, she'd know how to avoid sounding stupid.

"Would you have rather I threatened to rape his wife and cut up his child? Telling him to grow up, get out of bed and get his ass to that meeting is a terrible idea. Instead, a generic card with polite, professional language gets the point across. If he wants me to be a , he needs to tell me. I had this dumped on me and no one told me how to do the job. I figured it out by myself. I made a profile and now it's easy. Like I said...I don't mind helping you be like him," Sona said.

"You deserve a large promotion." He had no idea what to say to her, aside from telling her that he didn't want her to be an to people.

"That would be nice,but it's not like anyone who can give them to us is around. Your self-loathing issues are getting in your own way,but stop by archives. I'm not going to go out with you, but we can still hang out. I'm on Snapchat and I keep Facebook messenger on," she said.

"I,um...don't have Facebook," Matt said.

"JESUS! You're in your 20's and don't have Facebook? That's the first thing we're fixing. Don't advice from them. They're all married or in their 40's," she said.

"I'm in my 30's,but do it. I want to see her actually make you like Kylo Ren or someone who doesn't have the same glasses as my dad did 20 years ago," one of them said.

"Okay, I will." If she actually did it, she needed a much better job.